#tgncpoc

While i was neversupposedtobehere, the University is the first and only "home" i have ever known. The University is the first place wherein i was actualized.

  The legendary black woman scholar calls us to convene.

The legendary black woman scholar calls us to convene and we answer. We show.

The legendary woman black scholar invites women black and woman white scholars to sit speak beside her.

We show and we convene and we answer.

    i steal from the university and steal to the university.

    The legendary black woman scholar tells falsehoods about how seroconversion works.

We are not prepared for this. (We show UP for they SHOW but we are not prepared to SHOW OUR WORK

SHOW WE ARE WORKING

SHOW WE KNOW WHAT THE WORK IS

SHOW WE DON'T ANTI-INTELLECT HERE)

  The legendary woman black scholar

"trendy transsexuals"

the invited woman black and woman white scholars

the White Woman with the eyes that watch and the ears that do not listen and the office where the scheming happens

  We have convened

We are not prepared

  And i gasp

and i leave

and i quietly

and i steal to the office of the white dyke gendered scholar.

And

i have trans gendered

but i have not trans sexualed

but i HAVE torn this body apart,

because i do not know if you are aware,

but to trans sexual costs more dollars than the combined savings --and "checkings"-- of myself

and my unemployed one parent

and my unemployed one sibling

and my disabled other parent

and my disabled other sibling

AND WHERE'S MY INTERSECTIONALITY? 

and someone pay my dental bills

and someone pay for my other two root canals

my teeth are rotting in my mouth as i write this

my teeth are rotting in my mouth when

Legendary Woman Black Woman Scholar "Trendy Transsexuals"

    And i am happy to be trendy

and, to be honest,

i'd be happy to be trans sexualed, too,

if only someone would help me out,

see, OUT?

maybe i should post an ad:

TRENDY TRANS SEEKS HELP

GETTING SEXUALED

  But that ad space costs money, too,

So in the interim,

  i steal to the office of the white dyke gendered scholar,

as we trendy gendered trans not-yet-subject, not-yet-sexualeds

are will to do,

And i stomp and i roar and i do not listen and i listen some and i roar and i stomp and i sigh and they sigh and we sigh and

  What else?

  While i was neversupposedtobehere, the university is the first and only "home" i have ever known.

The university is the first place wherein i was actualized.

  And so the violence from the university feels that much more immediate, that much more urgent, that much more wounding.  There is no "home" to phone this in/to. There is no mama to hold this. There is only cuss and bruise and confuse and bite and wait and furrow and debt and sad and debt.