“Finally, another Lopez! Your sister’s cute, but frankly, we find her a little dull, so we’d be lying if we said we weren’t excited to hear of your arrival yesterday, CATALINA (@catalina-lo). With that said, we figured we’d kick things off for you with a little official MTV business. We’re sure you’ll agree that your title, The Hypochondriac, is very fitting, no? From what we understand, you tend to think you’re dying, more often than not. Well, we figured, maybe we could all have a little fun with that. We’ve noticed ISABEL (@isabelivia) talking to people about how she isn’t very close with you and Santana, so it’s probably important to remind her that family shouldn’t brush each other aside like she apparently has. We assume she’d feel differently about you if, say, you really were at death’s door. How about you convince her that you are? You’ve both been apart for school for the past few years, right? You could’ve been receiving treatment for something in that time, and how would she know any differently? However you choose to do it, make her believe that your days are numbered. We’ll tell you when you can stop, of course. But, for now, do it. You’ll be rewarded, we promise, just like Santana and Isabel will be, too.”
