#tf mesothulas

and he doesn't get that.

tarantulas treats him as someone incapable of change and undeserving of pity, yet prowl does this to Arcee, Chromedome, Neutrals, and many Decepticons as well. he treats them cruelly, with bigotry, and tends to dehumanize people while still trying to get them to stay. Because he believes he's better. he's doing something amazing -- for the greater good, even! -- that they'll eventually thank him for -- and if they never do, so what? at the root of everything, Prowl can't see past himself. he fixes things; has from the beginning. all the bad things he does? well, it's not like anyone tried that hard to stop him. he takes this as a sign of people agreeing with him, deep down. but they need someone to be awful, to take the blame, which is why they utilized him for so long (again, from his perspective).

people working with him, betraying him-- he takes it all personal. if people thinks he's sooo wrong and bad, why stay? why didn't they do anything sooner? but the moment they do voice concerns or outwardly oppose him, he retaliates because he sees it as them continuing to be hypocritical. he acts like he doesn't need them or anyone in his life, but he does. (sorta. he's always seeking approval from those in authority.)

anyways, the point is that he can't treat people as individuals or victims like he can so easily for himself. it's easiest to sum his character as being oddly self-absorbed. everyone betrays him, they All Do. yet he's never tried to treat people as friends, despite him taking their 'betrayals' so personally himself. like sure, he'll admit to being an asshole and say he doesn't do things to be liked, but he seems to think that that absolves him from the need to try. which is cruel when there are people who want to see him do better.

moving from there, tarantulas making the offer for Prowl to return to him -- even though, at that point, i don't think he truly cared anymore -- parallels prowl trying to make Chromedome continue their partnership, just to turn around and resort to threats when he doesn't get his way. regardless what your opinions are on whether or not prowl had a point about telling rewind everything, the fact remains that that situation is similar to the game tarantulas pulls on Prowl.

it wasn't necessarily about truly getting prowl back because tarantulas knows he's perfectly capable of making miracles without him. it's the principle of prowl 'lowering' himself again by accepting. no, tarantulas does not Need prowl. but he wants him. and i don't mean this purely in a stalker ish way.

because the biggest insult to tarantulas wasn't necessarily prowl locking him in the noisemaze. you can even interpret his reaction to the betrayal as something he had been anticipating, just. Not then. not when he was so close to achieving all he ever wanted. that's why he says so himself.

prowl setting everything on fire is the biggest insult to tarantulas because -- Prowl helped him do all of that! he encouraged him! Endorsed it! he seemed to care! yet he threw it all away because it suited his desires and needs. instead of consulting him directly, Prowl suddenly decided he had enough -- that it would be better to destroy it all and act like they, the two of them, hadn't happened. tarantulas was disposable despite the awe once shown to him. prowl was the muse because he had a brilliant, enviable mind that, somehow, seemed to admire the mind of Mesothulas in turn. what gift is better than that?

but that mind now scorns him, same as everyone else. it locked him away and tried to destroy all he had worked for. and so, he wants everyone to see just how awful of a person prowl can be, similar to the way prowl still insists Arcee is insane, or that Chromedome is a danger to others. the words tarantulas spits at him -- Prowl has said similar things to countless people before. he picks and peels scabs, recording insecurities and anything that he feels like gives him the leverage in a conversation. he can't just simply talk things through, oh no. to him, other people are too simple. that's why they fail him and fail to see his perspective and ways.

just like the way High Command so easily disrespected prowl whenever it was convenient, Prowl threw out tarantulas when it benefitted him the most.

even when prowl is saved in sotw, he's told it isn't because of him, the person, but because of what he can do.

all he needed from tarantulas, chromedome and others as well were the things they can do for him.

and he still doesn't get it.

not really. and i think that's why him and Chromedome never made it as partners. Chromedome needs a level of intimacy that im not sure prowl knows how to give.

while it's easy to joke about Prowl's reaction to Red Alert shooting him, he still doesn't truly use this as a chance of companionship. he's focused on the fact he was used once more and hurt. i know that he didn't have full context there just yet, but the point stands that prowl never tries to fully emphasize with those he wrongs and hurts. nor does he try to truly help those he should be able to emphasize with.

im not downplaying the things that happened to him, because he has a right to feel hurt and miserable about it. the way Optimus and high command members never truly tried to reach out when he was clearly having a breakdown is awful, not to mention how he wasn't even resisting and still got beat for it. however, Arcee was the one to suspect the things with bombshell first, and she wasn't the only one to make an effort to reach out to prowl. it's just that he didn't care because it wasn't exactly what he wanted. he's selfish, even if he doesn't recognize it.

he has a lot of passively suicidal moments throughout issues, but even him asking Optimus to kill him is because it'll be taken as confirmation bias by him.

the ending of him choosing to self-isolate as Shockwave's warden is further proof of this. why make the effort to try again when everyone already hates him in his mind?

in that way, tarantulas is partially right that prowl refuses to truly change. he wants to, but he's so self-destructive that it never sticks.

his moments of complete lack of self-awareness are fascinating to ruminate on -- especially in the context of everything with tarantulas. that's why i love to pit them together both within and outside the context of canon.

and when i say ship, i don't mean as this perfect, romantic dynamic. i mean it as a terrible trainwreck full of odd obsession on both of their parts. prowl with his sense of wanting to keep people by him that make him feel better about himself and his morals, and Tarantulas with. well, his is harder to pinpoint and condense, but i think you get the picture. they're both awful because tarantulas completely lacks morals, and Prowl likes to think he's better because he does have morals..

Spider design!!