#teyvatguide

I read @hiraeth-rawr 's version of this and thought it looked really fun so wanted to give it a go, here's my take! I'm starting with Inazuma tho:

Inazuma

Bad.

This nation is already the most dangerous of all 3 and my roster of inazuman characters doesn't really help (;;;・_・)

For starters my Sara has been gathering dust since I got her (I'm sorry I like her, I do but she doesn't fit in any of my teams, and I don't have Raiden or Yae -_-)

I'll have to console myself with the fact that Ei is generally too stubborn, at least up until the second story quest events

Add to that the ridiculous obsessiveness the characters can reach in SAGAU fics, and I doubt Sara could've convinced her anyways

I'm sure she could've helped me get out of the nation the quickest and possibly safest as she would've protected me, but I guess it can't be helped (˘･_･˘)

Next up there's the characters I actually have at a high friendship, 10 to be specific

First off there's Kazuha, which isn't very helpful since as far as we know he already left with the Crux fleet (＠_＠;)

Then there's Yoimiya, while technically a member of the resistance, it's not like she's a high standing officer in it

And as a non Kokomi haver (like most of us) or even Gorou haver ( come hoooooome -_- ) I don't think she can exactly convince them of much for my sake.

Then there's Sayu, a character you're unlikely to meet

Now here's the thing, I got Yoimiya which means no Ayaka for me, and then I failed to get Thoma

Also, as of the writing of this, Ayato isn't even out yet, so zero help from the Kamisato Estate, pretty much (*﹏*;)

Still for the sake of this scenario and my life, let's say by some plot armored, Teyvat aided miracle I do get to meet the smol sleepy mujina ninja

Yeah no one's taking her seriously, are they?

She's tiny and looks like a child, doesn't appear to be hard working (I did her hangout so dw I know that's not true) and naps all day

I doubt the shrine maidens or the Kamisato clan OR even Yae would take her seriously in something this dire ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Still, since Jean's and Barbara's healing abilities are canon, it stands to logic that Sayu's should be too, so that should take care of any injury the 3 of us sustain

Add to that some help from Teyvat, covering our tracks and maybe if I figured Teyvat is helping me, asking them to misguide our enemies

That should buy Yoi-chan enough time to get me to a well hidden location

Don't forget she's used to hiding fugitives!

Sayu should be able to gather info easily enough, so I'm sure she can gather when Beidou's crux fleet is to secretly dock next in Inazuma

You see according to Yoi-chan's voice lines, she smuggles fireworks out of Inazuma to Liyue with Beidou's fleet!

Since she has a good relationship with her, I'm sure she can convince her and Kazuha to just hear me out, and guess what?

My first serious dps in the game was Beidou

Friendship level 10 Baby ಠ‿ಠ

Since Beidou's word is law on her Ship, and with the help of Kazuzu and Teyvat, it should be literal and figurative smooth sailing from here!

Good luck stoping us with your automatic lightning storm Raiden when Teyvat is tirelessly giving us speed boosts and protection <(￣︶￣)>

Before I leave tho I'm giving a huge bear hug to Yoi, (one of my two current mains .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.) and Sayu, but I'll also be giving Sayu a very important mission, we'll come back to it later tho

Next up;

Liyue

A bit better. (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

By the the time we dock in Liyue harbor, we already have a plan set

I should already be aware of my characters friendship level affecting how much characters are willing to trust me by now

Taking that into account, the plan is as follows:

Beidou easily gets me an audience with Ninguang who is friendship level 8

I doubt anything short of level 9 is enough for her to make a bold public proclamation of my innocence, especially if there's an actual imposter in control

But I think 8 is more then enough for secretly housing me and looking for a way to help me cross over to Mondstadt

Zhongli's also level 8 but in case ninguang refused to help I'd rather have him as a second option to try rather then them both against me (rip) so it's decided I'll only go to him as a last resort

That's the plan at least.

No way things go that smoothly tho lol y'all know how our luck is

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

So first off I have neither Ganyu nor Keqing

I can see ninguang kinda sorta convincing Ganyu to not kill or out me, that should be within her power

But I think she'd recognize that won't be possible with The Yuheng and decide the best course of action is to keep the whole situation hidden from her

Especially if Keqing's truely loyal to the actual imposter

While Ning is away on some business, should Keqing find me in the jade chamber because

A) Ganyu betrays me and secretly tips her off or

B) Any kind of very unlucky and unexpected event

I'm not taking my chances with calling for help I'm bolting out of there asap

You might be thinking, how would you escape the freaking Yuheng?

Easy, we're on the jade chamber, I'm jumping straight down👇

You see I have better chances of survival praying Teyvat can figure anything out to cushion my fall then trying to defeat keqing by throwing fancy furniture at her or playing Wind Trace: The Jade Chamber Edition.

And what kind of idiot would jump after me? No one guys I'm the only idiot here

Water would be as as hard as solid ground at my velocity, in survival videos they say your best bet at living when falling from great heights is to avoid bodies of water and look for lush trees

So that's kinda what Teyvat goes with

Ofcourse that hardly means I sustain no injury, I'm probably concussed as hell with at least one broken limb (◉‿◉)

No, this isn't when Xiao pops up to save us guys I don't want him to see me like this (>\\\\<), besides I doubt I'm able to talk right now and I can't convince him of anything with a possibily fractured jaw, he'd just mercifully make my end quick

Instead, Teyvat hurriedly leads a confused herb gathering Qiqi to me, and she's wondering if the path mysteriously changed or she just forgot the way again....?

You see I got her on the Zhongli first re run and have been maining her ever since for a loooong time, I even first ever completed floor 12 with her on one side and Jean the other as physical carries

I'm telling you guys we won't need words (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) but to stick with the plot she's a kind child ready to heal and protecc

Plus I'm probably too mangled and bloody rn to be recognisable

After I'm done with a nice chat with her I'll ask her to lead me out of the mountains, I really wouldn't want to be anywhere near the Jade chamber right now

I also better move away quickly, who knows how many people Keqing called on so it's high time I go looking for Zhongli

Here's the thing tho, their are some very dangerous characters out there you really don't want to be meeting, especially not in the mountains

Enter Shenhe.

She doesn't really feel but I think meeting the heretic would really piss her off and that's with the red strings dampening her emotions down

I can see Qiqi doing her best to protect me with all her ancient sword art and adeptus power, but all shenhe needs to do is knock her out and I'm defenseless

I already predicted this tho ehe <(￣︶￣)>

Ok not this specific situation but like meeting my demise cuz duh

Remember that secret mission I tasked Sayu with?

During my stay in Inazuma I think the sakoku decree (the one about the borders staying closed) should still be in full swing

As a proud and stubborn ruler I don't think the Raiden puppet would have any reason to maintain any sort of correspondence with the other nations

But after they realize I escaped the nation, that's a different story

Both Raiden Shogun and Ei would be itching to find and decimate that heretic that dared to dishonor The Creator and make a fool of them and their Shogunate

So naturally since they have a country to rule, a potential traitor that helped me to search for and punish and erosion to keep at bay

They decide to re open the correspondence routes to warn the other nations of a heretic daring to use the face of The Creator and urge them to report back once they're found

I think they'd want to take part in the execution ceremony ಠ﹏ಠ

My mission wasn't for her to interfere in any of that tho, I just asked her to keep a look out for when the routes open back up and send 2 letters I left with her for me

In case the shogunate had a fleet I didn't know about or the Raiden's ever lasting storm barrier actually sinks us

I wanted two people to absolutely no matter what receive a letter from me each

The first is addressed to the Acting Grandmaster of Mondstadt.

As my first ever five star on the first Xiao banner and the one character I mained the longest (8 months) one I even still regularly use. I want to deeply thank her for coming home then

When I didn't get Xiao back then I was devastated, but as time passed I pretty much understood how doomed a new player would be with him as first dps, I'd just keep getting him killed or frozen in the air from Barbara E, he deserves better (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)

I think I'd write her a heartfelt apologie for how ungrateful I was at getting her in the beginning, thanking her for carrying me like the true Lion Fang she is, maybe teasing her about her turtle and telling her to spend more time with Barbara

And ofcourse not to overwork herself lol

The second Is addressed to the Wangshuu Inn, specifically for the mysterious young man that loves almond tofu.

It would be a thank you letter for Xiao, thanking him for coming home early on his re run, I had a guarantee and enough primos plus everything farmed but I guess he saw me finally worthy this time so I was delighted

I'd tell him I'm super proud of his damage and incredibly happy I decided to insta triple crown him

I'd tell him he's my king and always will be and finally get to thank him for the crystalflies he sent us on his birthday ^^

I'd probably jokingly whine a bit about him not coming home on his first banner, but really even the year long wait only made me want him more

Finally, if he's curious about who the sender is, to keep a look out for his name being called by a voice that isn't the traveler's near Pervases temple and I leave both letters unsigned.

Now back to the current events, I'm nowhere near Pervases temple, and I'm not even sure if the letters reached him yet but I take a leap of faith, and shout:

"Adeptus Xiao!!"

And in classic "Super dramatic moments" fashion;

He comes to my rescue

.

.

.

Not...

Shenhe: ಠ_ಠ

Me: (￣ヘ￣;)

And then I remember his voice line about Morax and go:

"Rex Lapis sucks!!"

That does the trick and he pops out of thin air, grumbling about this not being pervases temple, glares at me for the last line I uttered and faces off Shenhe

Once that's done with I very sheepishly apologize for my rudeness and assure him I wasn't serious haha-

Thankfully tho friendship level 10 comes in clutch (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)

So about that looking for Zhongli thing.... Yeah change of plans I think by now I've had enough of Liyue

I ask him (read beg) to kindly escort me to Dragonspine, Albedo's camp specifically, whom I don't have but do have a friendship level 10 Sucrose. We grab poor Qiqi and head off

Upon getting their he'll probably be somewhat reluctant to leave but someone needs to take Qiqi back home and I spot Sucrose thankfully present in the lab so it's time to finally reach;

Mondstadt

Oof- This is long overdue.

The SAFEST Nation for me by faaaaaaaaaaaaar

Honestly level 10 friendship Fischl and Bennett can get me inside the city if Sucrose needs to convince Albedo I'm not a threat?

If Andrius or Divalin come angrily looking for me level 10 friendship Venti (Got him on his re run thanks to the guarantee getting Jean on Xiao banner meant) can take care of that

Jeanie my queen can whisk me away inside, no trouble to be expected from friendship level 10 Rosaria (number 1 waifu Change my mind) and Kaeya (daddy milkers eye patch man)

I don't have Diluc or Eula but they trust Jean so that's fine

Razor is level 2 but level 10 Lisa, his teacher should take care of that

I believe Barbara is level 7 as well...

Really at that point it's just a matter of helping me figure out a way back to my realm

It was an interesting adventure but I somehow didn't have to deal with Tartar Sauce and the fatui, not to mention the Tsaritsa

I'd like to keep it that way thank you very much

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please tag me if you do this guys I wanna read more of these!

Peace out <3

i know that this has been talked about before but seriously WHAT?? Like they're telling me that those bitches just learned how to turn into lizard people and could be living in Teyvat?

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I COULD HAVE ALREADY TALKED TO A LIZARD PERSON AND DIDNT KNOW IT?!?

wow...

—–     ♡     —–

@teyvatguide​ asked:  🎀!

🎀 - to braid / brush your muse’s hair .

It  wasn’t  often  that  Yoimiya  let  her  hair  down,  perhaps  the  only  person  that  had  actually  seen  it,  was  her  Pops.    It  just  always  felt  like  those  dirty  blonde  locks  of  hers  hardly  stood  out,  especially  when  laying  limply  against  her  shoulders.    --Which  is  why,  she  took  to  a  more  ‘exciting  style’    

though  for  today,  she  decided  to  make  an    exception  for  Paimon!    It  was  hard  to  say  no  to  that  adorable  little  face!            

“You’re  pretty  good  at  this!”    she  hummed  thoughtfully  as  the  girl  lightly  combed  through  her  hair.              

...he is starting to realize that their definitions of ' cool ' don't exactly align. food isn’t really what he’d think of first when asked to talk about something interesting, but... then again, this is paimon, after all. this sort of thing shouldn‘t really surprise him.

            “   your new home really is spacious ,  can’t lie .  ”

          LOOKING AROUND the inside of the teapot ,  lisa had to say she was surprised ;  even if the spell was easy to be cast (   after all ,  her home had something similar going on   ) ,  it was still impressive to know that a adeptus had created it for the traveler ;  and therefore paimon ,  too .   “   yet beautiful ,  don’t get me wrong !  do you like it ?  i’m sure it is better than sleeping out in the wild -  it’s much better than many houses out there ,  actually .   ”

such  exuberance  !    a  pot  fit  to  boil  over  with  joy  sloshing  either  which  way.    it’s  a  welcome  scald,  nothing  to  temper.    lithe  figure  crashing  into  her  own  and  it’s  only  joy  that  expresses  across  her  face.  a  giggle  to  leave,  arms  to  wrap  around  -  mindful  of  a  smaller  size,  whilst  the  soft  huffs  of  particular  bear  warble  in  the  background  (  don’t  be  jealous,  guoba  !    )  .    nose  skips  around  a  metallic  halo,  burying  in  soft,  pale  tresses.      

❛    —      paimon  !    ❜      full  toothed  grin  and  sighing,          ❛    i  only  said  i’d  make  you  whatever  you  want  to  eat.    ❜    food  is  affection.  it’s  how  she  shows  appreciation,  adoration,  and  commitment  to  others.    it  allows  her  to  express  herself  and  still  see  the  softer  smiles  and  listen  to  the  idle  chatter  over  warm  meals.    there’s  something  akin  to  a  heart  to  heart  when  food  is  involved.  be  it  with  a  sit  down  meal  or  sharing  street  faring  on  skewers  -  xiangling  always  aims  to  capture  that  feeling,  especially  with  her  friends.