Elodie: Since I'm no longer a Smee nor a member of the Sea Devil crew I shouldn't even be talking to you, but also as the member of my former crew I trust the most to follow instructions properly I need your help.

Elodie: And don't say you're too caught up on me dropping a bomb mid-sex because it's been months and a couple of bottles of rum should've cured that trauma already.

Elodie: Also you owe me for calling me scary all throughout my formative years.

Elodie: Also you double owe me because you did nothing to stop Ocean from having sex with Hector.

ELodie: You shouldn't even be traumatized in the first place because I'm a great lay and obviously it didn't put a damper on your friendship that much.

Rafe: Any word from Elodie? Was she serious about disowning you guys cause that’s kind of hilarious.

Rafe: Any idea if Tallulah likes pureed sweet potatoes? There’s an assload of them on sale at the market.

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. 

prick: good morningprick: no-one will ever love youprick: xxx

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

prick: i miss your stupid faceprick: why is there no-one about to beat me up when i need them.

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. 

prick: r u ready 4 death

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

prick: if we fucked who would top??prick: the thought keeps meup at nght tbh. 

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

prick: come to the courtyardprick: i’ve got booze and i’ll let you throw the first punch.

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

prick: heard about you and evanprick: so i decided to pay a visit to your wife to beprick: pretty little thing, isn’t she?prick: want to know what i’m going to do to her?

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

prick: your bed is on fire and for once it wasn’t meprick: i mean i wish i had been but

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

prick: i cantbreatheprick: i think u punnctured ,y lungprick: i need u to takemeto he hwprick: rafe please. 

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

prick: you left me such pretty bruises, babe. 

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

prick: are you ready to die because i’m ready to FUCKING KILL YOU

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

prick: i bet mulciber has a tiny dick and that’s why he’s angry all the time.prick: and i’m sure you’d know, avery.

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

✉ prick-[unsent] you would look much better if your head was shoved up your own arse would you like me to help you with that?✉ prick-[unsent] even dumbledore doesn’t like you.✉ prick-[unsent] stop looking at evan. ✉ prick-[unsent] suck my dick you piece of shit moronic flobberworm pathetic excuse for a human being, dildo, fanny sniffing tosser. ✉ prick-[unsent] why don’t you like me. i’m likeable. i’ve never done anything to you. ✉ prick-[unsent] it’s because you’re attracted to me isn’t it.