#testmonial

Shinja Kim / Ad Production Planning Director

I have a husband who earns good money and two good looking sons. On the surface, our household was a happy picture, but on the inside my family rotted away. As a primary school teacher, I was married when I was 26. I wanted to make a perfect and happy home, but nothing went my way.

Depression after a decade of marriage; An ultimatum to my husband: “I’m leaving”

My husband, who had a strong desire to succeed, only wanted to focus on his work. On the weekend, he golfed with other men to network and get more business. He was a person who thought that if he made money, he served his role as head of the household. I didn’t want to say anything because he was a good provider so I suppressed all of my hostility and frustration about our situation. Even if my husband’s behavior was out of my control, I could still raise my children the way I wanted.

So, I imposed all of my personal standards of what is right and what is wrong on my children. When their behavior didn’t meet my standards – as often was the case – I would hit them. If there was something that I didn’t know about my children, it would make me feel anxious and meddle in their business. Eventually, I drove my children away from me. I couldn’t understand them at the time. Our family may have been living together in the same house but it felt like we were all living alone. I felt so lonely.

Then I started to feel physical problems. My body hurt. I was dizzy and had shortness of breath. My organs’ functions were weak for no reason at all. I eventually had no choice but to quit my teaching job of 13 years. I wanted everything to look good to others and my pride was so strong that I had suppressed all the problems of my home life from everyone around me. In front of others, I always wanted to look like we had the perfect family. I suffered like that for a while and eventually became depressed. Life was really gray. It was too hard.

At one point, I gave my husband an ultimatum. I told him, “Either I’m going to leave you, or I’m going to jump out of a window!” My husband, who didn’t know how serious my condition was, seemed shocked. Then, one day, he brought me a book on meditation that was given to him by a co-worker. I didn’t know what meditation was all about, but it was good just to leave home for a week.

If you’re worried about family conflict and family discord, you have to empty your mind

In July 2003, I started meditation. I cried a lot when I took a good look at my life. I was living in hardship, holding on to my vain pride, honor, and greed that didn’t exist. What I realized while looking back was that I had never really thought about the minds of my children. Everything I had done for my children was for my own pride. It was smothering to my children. I had to let it all go.

In the meantime, all kinds of minds, such as hatred, resentment, anger, and loneliness – which had been accumulated in the past – disappeared. My body and mind became lighter each day, and I could feel the change in myself.

A few months after starting this meditation method, I told my husband, “I haven’t made breakfast in the past, but I’ll take care of it from now on.” I had been sick for a long time, so I have never made breakfast well. How difficult it must have been for my husband to always eat alone in the morning and then to come home late at night when his family was asleep.

Nervousness and irritation have disappeared. I can truly understand and consider things from my husband’s and children’s perspectives. My health has also improved noticeably. Eventually, my husband began meditating. After meditation, he said he felt sorry that he had done nothing for his family. My husband, who used to know nothing but work, has now begun trying to do things for his family. My children also became brighter and more mature, changing beyond recognition after attending a youth meditation retreat.

After doing this meditation I absolutely trust my children. I respect my children’s wishes and let them do whatever they want. The more I trust them, the better they seem to do on their own. The conversations with my children have also increased. When I used to interfere, they didn’t want to talk with me. But now they speak more freely with me. These days, our family hugs and greets each other when we wake up in the morning. Now my family can really be called a family.

These days I find that people consult with me a lot. Surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be a single home without some kind of conflict. When they talk to me, I share my experiences.

https://www.suwaneemeditation.org/post/from-poor-grades-and-study-habits-to-a-successful-man

After 50 Years, I Learned To Say, “I Love You, Mom.”

Posted by Meditation USA on June 26, 2020

Updated: Apr 22

Maribel / Broward Meditation, FL, USA

(Interviewed by Lauren)

Thank you so much for sharing with others your experience since practicing this meditation. How did you hear about this meditation? What intrigued you most about giving it a try?

Hello, my name is Maribel and I found this mediation when I was 21 years old while at my gym during a vacation spent in South Florida. I had been interested in meditation and back home in Tampa, I was in the process of searching for a meditation community. There was a bright smiling woman at YouFit promoting this meditation that caught my eye. She read to me “this meditation is the way to find your True Self.” I think that’s what intrigued me most. I really didn’t know who I was. Because of what was going on in my life and inside of my mind at the time, I desperately wanted to know the answer to this short, simple question: Who am I?”

Wow, you are really wise for being 21, and asking yourself that question! You definitely think outside of the box. What were some of the immediate benefits that you received from practicing?

On the first or second session, I could already feel a massive change. I felt like I was seeing the world from a completely different lens. I felt less worried. I felt lighter. I felt like I finally stopped gripping the steering wheel…if you know what I mean. I had so much hope for my life again. I had hope that things were actually going to get better…I actually remember being sure of it at that time. I remember thinking “oh this is what I have been searching for.”

I totally agree, sometimes it’s way easier and healthier to really go with the flow. I’m really happy for you. Did you have any setbacks or obstacles that were difficult to overcome? If so, what?

Throughout the process I’ve had many obstacles to overcome. There were many emotions that I came face to face with which previously I worked really hard to suppress and avoid simply because I didn’t know how to handle them. I was seeing myself from a completely different angle then ever before. So it was painful in the beginning and acceptance was one of my obstacles. But I think the best thing of all was that I never hurdled alone. The meditation guides at my center had open ears. They never judged anything I said and their main focus was always in helping me move forward. They really metaphorically held my hand the entire way until I could finally stand up on my own. Now I’m more stable than ever before! I don’t think my life would be this happy without this meditation method and the support system I’ve had within the community along the way.

I also felt the same way about my meditation guides and the other guides that I have met. It’s a really positive community. Thank you for being open to share your struggles. How has practicing this meditation helped in your daily life?

Because of this meditation my daily life has completely changed. The first thing I noticed that started to disappear was road rage. I used to get so annoyed at people on the road that it would give me anxiety, but now that my perspective has changed driving is peaceful no matter who cuts me off on I-95. My relationships also drastically improved and became more meaningful. I used to try to change people to fit my way of thinking and I had many arguments because I would insist that my way of thinking was right, even if there was no argument to be started. My mind was frequently irritated because I had such a hard time accepting what others were thinking or saying. After meditating, it’s much easier for me to see many different points of view without feeling any kind of internal strain. I realize now that most of my stress was coming from my daily interactions with people, so my stress level now is very low. Because of this, my work improved. I get my work done very efficiently because I’m not thinking about a ton of nonsense; I’m just doing the task at hand. The things that need to be done get done in record time. My boss noticed and compliments my work ethic; I was even offered a promotion because of it. Meditation reduced my stress and anxiety, helped me work more efficiently at home and at my job, improved my ability to make connections with others, gave me hope for the future and ultimately made me a happier, healthier person.

Wow, that’s awesome. It seems like you received many benefits! You must have meditated really sincerely. Since many people do not really understand what a universal mindset is like, could you explain? What was it like to enlighten to the universe within your mind?

When I enlightened to the universe in my mind, it was such a relief to see and feel the emptiness for the first time. I felt more energetic and again, hopeful. Hopeful to live in that place always. To know that it really is possible to live a life of peace.

Beautiful! I hope many people can feel this way also. There are many different levels practiced in this meditation, do you feel that they are all different from each other?

Each level to me is completely different from the one previous. To put it simply, if you feel like your happiness can’t be topped after level 1, just wait till you get to level 2. Same thing with level 3 when you look back at 2, and level 4 when you look back at 3, etc. Each level opens your eyes more and more to what is true. Each level gives you a greater taste of freedom. Each level gives you HOPE.

Sounds amazing. Many people have a hard time committing to something long-term. How were you able to commit to this meditation practice for so many years?

To be honest, it wasn’t difficult at all to commit to this meditation because the results were instant! As I continue going, I keep getting happier. I’m really confident that as times goes by, as long as I continue meditating I will continue on my happiness streak! I have been meditating for 2 years and in this time I’ve met many meditators, even people who have been meditating for 15-20 years and they have inspired me so much. They became my role models because they are so bright without a single ounce of stress on their face even some in there 50’s 60’s…even 80’s. That’s how I want to be when I am older… always happy.

That’s so true. Even just after an hour, it’s like the stress just melts away! Sounds like commitment never even crossed your mind! You’re really positive! Do you have any words of wisdom to share with the community interested in visiting the center?