#teshimaj

gavroche is 19 years old. recently, he’s been harassing me and my system as well as some of my friends. i am a mentally ill minor (i am 15) and the rest of my system, especially those who interacted with gavroche, are minors as well. the fact he is an adult is a huge part of this.

there’s a lot of quotes and this is really messy so i’ve put bullet pointed summaries of every day this has been going on.

most of the posts from the beginning have been deleted by gavroche (which i find kind of suspicious), but i took pictures of the rest using my phone. the rest are quoted from when i pasted them on skype to one of my friends. his url was constantane at the start of this.

june 1st summary:

gavroche used a 20 year old outdated term for DID. i got upset and tried to correct him. he defended himself valuing ignorant people too lazy to google something over using the right term. i started vagueing him because of my AvPD and BPD making it hard for me to confront him and he kept reblogging my readmores and telling me to confront him which was invalidating both of those disorders.

i dissociated and he cut me off. he acted like he didn’t care at all that he’d lost a close friend and it had actually put him in a good mood. i self harmed because of this.

one of my alters (severus) contacted gavroche and attempted to find out why i had self harmed.

one of my alters (draco) thought he had told me to self harm and sent him a picture while panicking. he didn’t know this would trigger gavroche but it did and draco has apologised for it now knowing that.

gavroche cut me off and started saying my whole system abused him and i need to control my alters. he also misgendered me many times. he also said draco had intentionally triggered him when he hadn’t and it was a mistake made in panic.

on june 1st, 2015, gavroche referred to dissociative identity disorder (DID) by its old name, multiple personality disorder. (MPD)

constantane i have multiple personality disorder unfollow if this makes you uncomfortable or if you are following me because it’s interesting or cool

i have DID and i replied to this, upset because MPD isn’t a term used for DID anymore. he replied,

“im allowed 2 call it multiple personality disorder if i want id think,, plus it was directed towards neurotypicals who probably are too lazy to google dissociative identity disorder sometimes its just easier to call it mpd”

the name of DID was changed from MPD to DID in the DSM-IV, published in 1994, there’s no reason to still be calling it that. he tried to justify pandering to ignorant views and spreading misinformation.

at this time i was dissociating and co-fronting with my alter, draco, who is 13 and also mentally ill. i have AvPD and BPD so it’s very hard for me to confront anyone, especially people that are my friends.

so i vagued to gavroche about the issue and he chose to vague back instead of discussing things privately with me. he also reblogged some of my readmores which he should know is really not okay.

he also invalidated my disorders as kept telling me to “just confront him already” knowing about my issues with doing such a thing.

draco fronted alone after that. gavroche demanded that draco unfollow him, and blocked my skype account.

a few minutes after these messages gavroche posted that he was still in a good mood. i fronted again and this was basically all i saw after draco told me he had cut gavroche off.

[6/1/2015 10:50:49 PM] draco: “ … anyway” [6/1/2015 10:51:04 PM] draco: so anyway, like you didn’t just lose someone you sent long letters to and supposedly cared about immensely. [6/1/2015 10:52:15 PM] draco: “im still in a good mood honestly .. ” [6/1/2015 10:52:19 PM] draco: what a terrible person.

i was immensely triggered by the fact gavroche seemed to not care at all about losing me when we were close friends before.

(warning: self harm / abuse mentions in the next section)

i self-harmed very very badly, panicking, while talking to my ex-datefriend. it was pretty much the worst episode i have ever had. it didn’t last long, because another alter of mine, severus, who is 15-17, fronted.

one of my friends told severus what happened and he decided to confront gavroche, having to get irlmalfoy, gavroche’s boyfriend, to wake him up. severus asked gavroche why i had self-harmed so badly and what happened.

a few minutes later, draco force fronted and saw what had happened to my thighs and, panicking very badly, sent pictures of it to gavroche because he (not knowing what happened at all) thought gavroche had told me to do it to myself.

gavroche asked draco to not send him pictures, to which draco said “why? you did this.” gavroche had previously been abused by people sending him self harm pictures, but draco didn’t know this because he rarely fronts and doesn’t know the same things i do. draco was also upset because it seemed like gavroche just didn’t want to be blamed for triggering a minor.

gavroche sent a message saying that’s what his abuser did to him, but this message did not send to our phone at the time.

(end of self harm mentions here)

gavroche then cut us off completely and claimed my “entire system of minors” abused him and traumatized him.

gavroche told people to stop associating with me and my system. here we can see gavroche accusing my whole system of abusing him, attempting to isolate me, and being ableist by implying i should be able to control my alters/that i’m responsible for their actions.

“If you interact with lumies system after they literally just actively abused me and triggered my PTSD on purpose and if you excuse what just happened unfollow me right now. System responsibility is a goddamn thing”

if he wanted to avoid just draco that would have been understandable but he accused my whole system (including me) of abusing him, which is ableist and offensive. he says he has alters himself so he should know how hurtful it is for people to accuse you of your alter’s actions.

he then said the people liking his posts were systems in an attempt to invalidate my side of the argument, even though there are also plenty of systems who don’t and would not take his side.

“@lumie realize most of my followers that are liking these posts are systems lmao”

there were also many times he misgendered me, using the pronouns my alters were using rather than checking.

“all your alters were using she/her sry i thought those were your pronouns? i am not treating your system like it is one person be responisble for your alters. if katerina hurt someone i’d goddamn apologize. im not ableist. your system full of minors sent me graphic self harm images”

he continued to say draco purposefully triggered his PTSD when he knew draco did not know that sending images of my self harm would trigger him, and suddenly draco became “multiple abusive alters”.

“your alters are abusive and i do not want to talk to someone who could abuse me at any turn. i do not want to talk to someone who has an alter who purposely triggers my PTSD. i do not want to live in fear that the info i trusted you with is going to be used to trigger me with. call me ableist, but i do not want to interact with a system filled with multiple abusive alters that have attacked me personally and hurt me personally and abused me personally.”

he also started talking about he loved/cared about me which was very upsetting and confusing for me to read since all of his actions before suggested he didnt care about me at all. he knows i have BPD so this was probably just done to manipulate me.

“i LOVE you lumie. that’s why i said i am cutting ties with your SYSTEM. your SYSTEM is abusive and it isn’t your fault but i can NOT handle it. you are my little sib and you always have been but i can’t handle the risk of being abused. please respect that.”

at this point i thought the situation was over. gavroche stopped talking about me for the night and it was a mutual thing. i didn’t intend to post about him anymore.

june 2/3 summary:

gavroche kept posting about me to convince his followers to agree i was abusive. he continued to act as if my whole system abused him.

i told him to leave me alone. several times. he kept going and insisted he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

he then told ME to stop asking him to leave him alone and said i was abusive because i was telling him to leave me alone. he completely erased any responsibility from himself and put the whole blame on me, now saying i was currently abusing him.

on june 3, he still kept posting about me even when i had stopped talking about him. i asked one of his friends to tell him to leave me alone since he was ignoring me and he even used that against me.

he said he didn’t care if he was triggering me and continued to victimize himself when  i was talking about how his actions had caused several of my friends and my datefriend to abandon me.

i kept asking him to stop, and he called me out for it, saying i was abusing and harassing him.

on the next day, june 2, gavroche continued to post about me, saying he needed validation that what i did was abusive.

“i need validation can anyone who saw the events of last night tell me i am valid for feeling severely traumatized and barely able to function because of it”

and still saying my whole system abused him.

“im grieving because lumie was a really good friend of mine but i had to cut lumie out of my life so that lumies system wouldnt abuse me and it hurts and im grieving the loss of our relationship but honestly it was better this way”

he would continue to mention me even when i told him to stop.

“no im not goign to stop posting abouit this also i blocked you again stop sending me messages ”

he then turned it round on me, victimizing himself and saying i was the one who wouldn’t leave him alone. he’s been doing this ever since despite still checking my blog daily and posting about me. he is literally taking me asking him to leave me alone (not post about me) and saying it’s harassment. need i remind you he is an adult.

“yep she cant respect the person her system abused wishes to just be left alone apparently”

continuing to use emotional manipulation tactics.

“i regret saying you were a good friend of mine if you refuse to leave me alone and vent freely on my own blog about the abuse i suffered”

“im trying to hold onto the good memories of us but every message you send is another harassment and reminder of the abuse i suffered and you obviously don’t care about my feelings in this situation whatsoever so honestly just get out of my life ”

then he completely changed his story from my whole system abusing him by sending him triggering images to saying we abused him because i responded to his posts telling him to stop posting about me and leave me alone.

“ya youre not responsible for your system’s actions but youre responsible for continuously harassing me after i have asked you to never contact me again”

the next part of this happens on june 3, after another day where i didn’t post about gavroche at all until he started talking about me.

this time, it started with this post.

“abusers by name and by rank of their level of abuse

erin lizzy/zach (i dont knowwhat name theyre going by) lumie’s alter whose name i never got eli”

again i told him to leave me alone. i also asked one of his friends to tell him to leave me alone because he was still demonizing me and my system on his blog. when he was doing this he would continually invalidate my feelings, experiences and my mental illnesses in the place of his own. as if i wasn’t triggered, as if i’m not an abuse victim too.

these are several separate posts he made about me that day

“me: posting on my own blog about the abuse that i suffered that has literally made me suicidal intensely

you: stop posting about your abuse or you’re harassing me

????????? im not mentioning your blog or even talking to you and i will no longer use your name because i now know the name of my abuser.

also just because your alter is 13 doesn’t mean he didn’t abuse me significantly and purposely trigger my trauma after i told him i was abused in the same way he was talking to me and asked him not to send me pictures

and i don’t forgive his apology  

i am not harrassing you by talking about this on my personal blog. do you seriously want to silence an abuse victim”

“also stop @ing my friends to get them to talk to me. i blocked you for a reason. leave me alone and stop contacting me. you talk about harassment when you’re literally trying to silence me.

you can’t use ‘i’m a minor’ or ‘they’re a minor’ when you abuse someone.

abuse isn’t excused by age.

problematic behavior is excused by age. you have an opportunity to learn. you can unlearn racism, ableism, sexism, etc.

but not abuse.

minors can be abusers. minors can be rapists. minors can be murderers. that doesn’t excuse what he did.”

admitting that he doesn’t care if he’s triggering me.

“i honestly don’t care if processing my trauma makes you paranoid. i am not harassing you by 1. not giving out your blog and 2. talking about my abuse on a personal blog.”

“don’t contact me. don’t contact my friends. don’t contact anyone i talk to. get the fuck out of my life.”

“also i block everyone who interacts with you so don’t try sending your friends after me either. :)”

“and if you think it’s abusive i’m looking at your blog you literally @d me and a friend and drew attention to your blog so don’t try that card. i have the right to see who is talking about me.”

then he started to threaten me because i kept asking him to leave me alone and he’s turning that into harassment to victimize himself.

“if this continues i will out your blog and alter as abusive and you as harassing me when i’ve continuously asked you to stop (sending me messages, texts, @ing me and my friends) and tell people to block you. so stop posting telling me i’m bad for being abused.”

again, saying that draco didn’t know the self harm would trigger him. when he genuinely did not know. (also the next post was edited after he originally posted it; when he first made it he said “you” instead of “he")

“not only this, but he KNEW through my interactions with you that i was abused and traumatized by someone doing that literal exact same thing to the T. he used my trauma against me.”

he then called me out and linked my blog at the time.

“k you @’d my friend again and i warned you so

block @catsystem3 his alter abused me severely by triggering my trauma on purpose and he himself been continuously harassing me and my friends for talking about my trauma “

after this there’s no more posts i can pull up from that day.

june 4 summary:

i @ him in a post after he made the call out post the night before, pointing out everything he was doing wrong in this as well as his responsibility as an adult to not harass a 15 year old. he completely ignored what i said and put the blame on me again.

he kept visiting my blog while i was talking about how this had affected me, and then started bragging about how much of a good mood he was in at the same time. his excuse for this is “i have no sympathy for abusers” but to me it looks like he was trying to make me feel worse.

i decided that there was nothing left to do confronting him since he would continue to paint himself as the victim and that i would be writing this post to make it known how abusive he has been towards me and draco (and the rest of my system to an extent) during this whole drama.

yesterday i did @ him first regarding the call out. this is what i said.

“silvolan are you going to publicly call me, a mentally ill paranoid minor, and my system, full of mentally ill minors, out again when youre 19 years old and have continued to ignore my fairly polite requests and continue to trigger me daily because im too terrified to even be on this site anymore? you have driven me away from my ex-girlfriend and outed my system as abusive when it was only one alter who did anything to you.”

he responded by again ignoring what i’d said completely, diverting attention back onto how this is so terrible for him. for some reason he also referred to me as a plural even though the rest of my system wasn’t doing anything.

“me: very frequently asks to be left alone after i was traumatized

you all: hey it’s day four let’s continue to send him messages”

he then started visiting my blog while i was posting about how his actions caused my friends and my datefriend to abandon me because of his constant insisting that i’m an abuser and no one he knows can be in contact with me.

he then started saying that he was in a good mood again and completely ignoring that i just want him to admit he’s done/doing bad things and has hurt and triggered me too. again, this kind of thing is very confusing for someone with BPD.

“im in such a good mood”

“me: loving and accepting myself“

“i have no sympathy for abusers and im gonna keep livin my life like it never happened and talk about it with the people who care about me to process it bcause honestly im not gonna let this ruin me”

he was on my blog for over an hour while making these posts and saying he wouldn’t acknowledge me anymore.

i said then that i was planning on calling him out.

june 5 summary:

he went through my blog again and found out i was making this post, making a ‘reply’ to it before it’s even finished. he victimized himself more, now claiming (changing his story again) that i was trying to make him stay quiet about how i’d abused him, when my “abuse” had started out as being just telling him to stop posting about me and accusing my system and i of abusing him when we haven’t.

while doing nothing to correct his partner blatantly victim blaming me, he said he doesn’t care if i’m triggered by all of this (again) and said i was trying to gaslight him. by asking him to leave me alone.

he started encouraging his friends to make up testimonies about how i’ve remade several times to avoid the blocking system. in all cases he didn’t correct any of them for misgendering me (a lot of them used they/them pronouns, and so did he, while he’s even been on my blog during this and able to see my pronouns.) all of them basically just said what he wanted them to say rather than talking about what actually happened, not even mentioning the reason this started was because he triggered me and invalidated my disorders for trying to correct him on using the wrong name for one of them.

he made up that draco had self harmed to trigger him, and said i had only self harmed to trigger him when i’ve actually been doing it because i’m a mentally ill minor who lost a lot of people i cared about and depended on because of him.

when he ran out of things to say, he directly threatened and tried to silence me saying no one would believe me if i posted this. we can let him see that for himself.

today he again started checking my blog constantly and made a response to this call out post before i’d even finished it, just assuming everything about what i’d write.

“bc he’s writing a call out post for me because i talked about being abused here’s what his alter did to me that lumie catsystem5 excuses. To add onto that he hasn’t stopped talking to me, contacting my friends to get them to talk to me, or sending his friends after me after i have repetitively asked him to stop contacting me.

im not ableist for talking about my abuse or cutting off contact with someone because i was abused by a system member.

im linking this to anyone who believes what he writes.

also if he claims im a pedophile for dating a 15 year old at 17, please contact me and ill tell you the real details behind that AND the fact that i broke up with the minor the moment i almost turned 18. he doesn’t remember properly and he even posted that on his blog.

thank you.”

then he started, again, victimizing himself even though i’ve been pushed to the point of calling him out because he won’t own up to being an adult who has forced me to remake several times by putting me in danger with his false accusations that i abused him by telling him to leave me alone.

“me; wakes up me; is still being abused after 5 days AND being called out for talking about it and ignoring my abuser’s requests to be quiet

Nice!”

(self harm / suicide mentions)

“just because you are mentally ill and suicidal and self harming over this doesn’t mean im abusive for ignoring your requests to not talk about your abuse. i have tried to self harm over this. i almost killed myself over this. i am mentally ill too.”

(end of self harm / suicide mentions)

“i have no sympathy for an abuser and i have told you this.”

his partner also victim blamed me on one of his posts and he did nothing to correct them.

irlmalfoy said: honestly no. when will he stop blaming his misfortune and isolation on you when he and his alter brought this upon themselves lmao

again, gavroche pointed out he doesn’t care that he’s triggering me.

“i literally do not care that you are triggered because you abused me.”

he then seemed to become agitated and started saying that i was gaslighting him and “everyone can see” i blamed him for his abuse. (when?) also he edited the post because it was draco he was replying to and he ignored that at first, but i have both versions.

“HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE LITERALLY BLAMED ME FOR BEING ABUSED FOR FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT AND EVERYONE CAN SEE THAT. YOUR FAILURE TO GASLIGHT ME IS OBVIOUS”

"HOLY SHIT LUMIE HAS LITERALLY BLAMED ME FOR BEING ABUSED FOR FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT AND EVERYONE CAN SEE THAT. HIS AND YOUR FAILURE TO GASLIGHT ME IS OBVIOUS”

he also said the fact we have self harmed from being abandoned and hurt because of him is just “playing on (his) self harm trigger”. draco hasn’t self harmed at all. again he also implied i have remade to harass him when i actually did it on impulse / out of being upset and scared because he has literally posted constantly over five days about me and given my url to his followers saying i’m an abuser.

“YOU’RE VIOLATING ALL OF THAT IN ME. YOU AND LUMIE ARE VIOLATING ME AND TELLING ME TO BE QUIET AND PLAYING ON MY SELF HARM TRIGGER ALL THE FUCKING TIME. SHUT UP. YOU CAN’T DO THE EXACT SAME THING AND CLAIM I’M ABLEIST FOR IT. I’VE ASKED TO BE LEFT ALONE FOR DAYS AND YOU TWO HAVE MADE FOUR DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS AFTER I’VE BLOCKED YOU. DON’T PLAY THIS CARD.”

he then asked his friends / followers to give testimonies that i was abusing him. this is clearly really threatening behavior, but draco did ask for testimonials to see what his followers thought. however, gavroche is still mixing me and my system up.

“hey uuummm catsystem5 wants testimonials that their system is being abusive to me can you reply to this post with what you’ve seen over the past 5 days and how they’ve been acting.”

and then threatened me as he found out that i was making this post in an attempt to silence me and make me unwilling to go through with it.

“can you believe the nerve of this person”

“you’re going to post your call out post and nobody is going to take it seriously the second they go to my blog and see what youve done to me. people don’t blindly follow call out posts. I could make one hell of a call out post for you but you’d just remake to avoid consequence like you’ve done every time someone has called you out.”

like. honestly, that can speak for itself. you can see how hard he’s trying to manipulate and scare me out of doing this.

fun extra stuff:

he has victim blamed me himself for what has happened to me.

he has ignored my mental disabilities which can keep me from understanding things by saying i ”know what i did”.

i’m not sure when this was, but he threatened to call me out every time i remake, which is obviously manipulative and triggered my paranoia.

i’m pretty sure there’s stuff that i forgot to mention here in regards to all of his posts, but i think you get the picture. if you have any questions or something you want to add to this just send me an ask. i also have more screenshots of things not mentioned here/things i couldn’t fit into this soooo!