Almost Waking
He felt his master pet him, running his fingers through his soft red hair again. Sem lifted his chin and smiled at him, and the master smiled at the docility of his pet. They were at an expo together, where his master can show him off to the other pet owners and they could listen to them gripe behind their backs of how jealous they are that Sem was so calm and obedient. Elves are hard to feed, wolfens are so needy and hard to train, they said. Maybe they should have gotten a human as well.
Something caught Sem’s eye from across the grassy courtyard. A striped tail flicked, and he turned his head to catch it. A wolfen stood with her master, still as he rested his hand on her head. His pale skin stood out against the brown horizontal rings of her hair and his blue suit contrasted against the forest colors that decorated her body where no fur covered it to speak of. Her luxurious soft striped tail swept gently from side to side in a lethargic fashion, a movement he’d seen often before. The pale hand gently scratched behind her fuzzy round ears as her master chatted with another couple about proper fur care. The green leash in his other hand lead to an emerald green leather collar around her neck, one marked similarly to Sem’s own.
His heart stopped.
He recognized her ears and tail, that of a ferret born of the woods. He knew her.
His muddled mind stirred. Sem hadn’t seen her for such a long time that he could barely focus on her, but his body remembered the feeling of her tail wrapped around his leg, when she held him close and they strolled through the forests side by side. His mouth remembered the taste of hers, the taste of the wild and of meat and musk, a scent he’d very much grown to love.
She couldn’t be here. It had to be a mistake, a trick of the light, or even just his own mind showing him phantoms. He’d been away for a while, he knew somewhere in the back of his mind, but he was nowhere near where they’d last been together. He was so far away, he’d been sure that no one would ever find him, even her.
Even Taijana.
The ever-present icy grip of fear twisted its hold on his gut. If she was here, then what did it mean? With a collar like his, he could only imagine that she had come here looking for him and found these people who were happy to pick her up, for a price. The feeling of his master’s hand on his throat flashed through his mind, how long he’d held it there while Sem’s own hands struggled against the ropes securing them to the back of the chair, cutting lines into his wrists until they bled. He was used to it; this wasn’t the first time that he’d wound up like this, and he could recover. But Taijana… If they had broken her, he feared the worst.
He had to help her. He had to do something. His master wouldn’t like it, but he couldn’t leave her like this. He repeated her name in his mind as the fog pressed in at the edges of his thoughts, threatening to engulf him again. His hand shook as he tried to think and plan, to remember any way that he could help. His knife? No. That was long gone, nothing but the name of a relic from a distant time.
He had to figure out something. She needed him. He raised his hand, keeping it close to his body, hoping that he could keep his concentration long to do something, anything.
As he worked to keep his eyes focused, a butterfly flitted past her. Her face followed it, instincts drawn by the movement, brown eyes glinting in the sunlight and hair swishing behind her.
Brown eyes. BROWN eyes.
His hand stopped dead as he stared, trying to make sense of it. Was he seeing things? Was it a trick of the light? He saw her eyes flick again, the sunlight dappling them a deep golden brown. No, he was sure that time.
His hand dropped to his side again. A numbness ran over him, the fear and determination fading as he reoriented himself. Taijana’s eyes weren’t brown, they were purple. This wolfen, this ferret, was not Taijana.
Her master’s hand tensed on her head, and she turned back to him, looking at his feet as her face flushed with embarrassment. Her hair settled with it, down along her back. He noted it with a certain analytical distance, adding it to his list. Brown eyes. Long hair. The curves of her body weren’t quite right either, he noticed now. It wasn’t her at all, that girl that he remembered. It was just another pet, like him. As his hand hung limply at his side the pet’s eyes flicked to him for the briefest moment, and he saw in her the familiar fogginess, the haze that he felt seep over his mind again, and this time he didn’t fight it. There were no recognition in her eyes. There never had been. He was only fooling himself. Just as he thought, no one would find him here.
A sharp tug on his collar caused him to turn back to his master. “Hey, focus Sem. What did I tell you about paying attention?” He lifted his hand and made a pronounced snap in front of his face.
Adrenaline shot through him. “Ah, I’m sorry Master!” He bowed his head in shame. “I was distracted for a moment. I won’t do it again.” He kept his voice low and soft, hoping not to attract attention.Â
Would his master punish him here, in front of all these people? His mind drifted to the discipline tools that he knew his master had, the blades and the electric baton he kept with him just in case. He could imagine his master pulling out the baton and driving it into his gut, causing him to drop to his knees and spasm in front of everyone. His master would be furious, after he’d been so good up until now. He’d be kept inside forever, or maybe sold again to someone that didn’t want to show him off, and didn’t need to keep him nice to enjoy him as a pet.
“Make sure of it.” His master huffed. “If I catch you drifting again, then you’ll go without food until we get back home. Got it?” “Yes, Master.” Sem agreed. Then he shut his mouth and focused on his master. He had decided not to punish him yet, so Sem had to make the most of this. He just had to work to be good for the rest of the night, and maybe his master would be proud of him again. With luck, he would be happy to parade him around again tomorrow and give him the gentle affection that the other masters expected of him. Maybe he would even let him sleep on the bed with him. The thought of sleeping on a mattress under a sheet lingered, and with it Sem nuzzled his master’s hand when it came near, determined to be the best pet that any of these masters had ever known.
