Intermission 3
Listen. Iāll have time to write tonight. This weekend has been madness. More sunshine-cinnamon-roll water genasi goodness til then...
~~~~ The Ocean Waves
She sinks under the water, slowly making her way as deep as she dares and letting the salt soothe her jumbled mess of thoughts. Sheās caught somewhere between āCaptain Vale is wrongā and āCaptain Vale is NEVER wrongā and itās a difficult place to be in, really. Somethingās going to have to give. For now, though...she just breathes. The way her hair floats around feels more natural here and she can feel all her muscles relax slowly along with it. Like the constant weight she carries around with her is being lifted from her shoulders. Here, she doesnāt have to worry about Metra or the Siren or the Vault or even her friends, whom she adores but who cause her no end of concern.
Alora is playing in the shallows with Storm and she's definitely going to join them in a bit, but she needs some time to sort through all the emotions running through her right now. She's not sure why everyone seems to think she's in love with Metra. She -likes- him, of course. Would like to touch him. Specifically his mouth. With her mouth. Oh goddessā¦.of course Captain Vale isn't completely wrong. Her Captain can read her like a book. And just thinking about Metra is enough to have warmth flooding her veins and butterflies in her stomach and she curls in on herself under the water.
She can't allow this. The last time she'd felt this way about someone was three years ago and there was no forgetting how -that- had ended. She is an ugly freak of nature and there is just -no- chance he could actually like -her- the way her feelings are developing for him.
Besides, they really are leaving soon. Though she supposes perhaps that might be even more reason to say something. If she takes this risk at Captain Valeās suggestion..well, when he denies her she'll know for sure, and she won't have to worry about seeing him again. Ever. And then she'll be heading for the Siren where the ocean can soothe her broken heart.
The idea of it, though. Of telling him what she thought of himā¦.panic spreads throughout her. She can't do it. Couldn't bear the rejection. Especially now, when she needs to be at her best as they go into this mission. She doesn't need any distractions.
But isn't he a distraction anyway? Hadn't she spent more time watching him than listening to the council? isn't it possible that getting this off her chest will allow her to move forward, let go of him? But what would she even -tell- him? That she sort of maybe kinda thinks she might like him and that she wants to kiss his mouth andā¦.what the -hells- was wrong with her? She'd known the guy a couple days! What kind of person is she, thinking about him like this when she'd barely spoken with him (but, then, Ā the way he had talked about his ship. The way her heart had gone out to himā¦)? He would be horrified! -She- is horrified!
She hadn't been distracted while they were fighting. She'd kept track of his movements, of course, but she did that with everyone and she hadn't paid any special attention to him. So she can keep it professional when needed. But then, they hadn't had that talk yet, and she hasn't been able to stop thinking about him since, has she?
She wants to see him again. That much, at least, she knows for certain. But she doesn't know where to find him anyways. Maybe Havae does. But would Havae tell her? Probably. But wouldn't it be rude, or at least incredibly awkward, to see him again so soon? And what would she even do once she is in his presence?
No, it is better to keep on as planned. She'll swim for a bit, play with Alora and Storm, and then she'll have Havae take her to the shops after they discuss this plan so she can look for a diamond that will work for the spell. She isn't sure she has quite enough gold on her person for it, but she has to try. It could mean the difference between life and death for one of her friends, and thatās really the most important thing, isnāt it? Her feelings donāt matter, and she knows it. Theyāre about to perform what is clearly the most terrifying adventure yet and she needs to focus on that.
She swims to the surface, splashes Alora, allows the salt water to soothe away her concerns for a few moments more before they delve back into the realm of fear, bringing up this discussion once more. Tomorrow will be difficult at best- impossible at worst, and she has to prepare herself to keep her friends safe.
