Tempered in the Fire - Part Four
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Pairing: Blacksmith!Din Djarin x F! Reader
Summary: Ireland, almost a decade after the rebellion of 1798. You are an unusual woman: married, but alone; a widow, with no certainty her husband is dead. When your local blacksmith is badly injured in an accident and unable to work, you have no choice but to travel to the next forge, run by a man of few words whose uncertain origins and dark complexion make him stand out among the locals. You are immediately intrigued by this mysterious, taciturn figure - and the striking little boy heâs taken as his apprentice.
Word Count: 7.1k
Rating: Explicit; 18+ MDNI (chapter; series)
Content (chapter specific): Blacksmith!Din AU; historical setting; angst; smut; violence; unprotected PiV sex; oral sex (F and M receiving); racist (anti-Traveller) language; period-typical misogyny; references to domestic physical, emotional, and sexual abuse; references to family loss and death; abusive and derogatory language; strong language.
Translations for the Irish language provided throughout as needed, though I have not translated mo chuisle as a term of endearment (it literally means 'my pulse', more usually used as 'my love').
A/N: I am so, so sorry for the gap between chapters here and am grateful to the readers who've been so patient! Thanks, too, as ever, to @paulmescal-s for working through the gnarlier bits of this story with me and being such a great sort-of beta.
In the future, after many years had passed, you would find it hard to remember exactly how much time you had together, at the forge, before the hard reality came knocking at your door. Those days and nights of domestic happiness could never have been enough.
By day, you keep house, sew, and bake. Each morning, you do some basic reading and writing with GrĂł, or take the little boy around the hedgerows and trees at the boundary of the property, teaching him the names of plants and animals. Din had explained your presence to him, and he beamed every morning when his father carried him down the attic ladder and he saw you again.Â
Din, so used to being the lone adult in the household, insists on contributing to the routine: cooking, cleaning, setting the fire. It feels so natural, so right - and yet a blade dangles over this strange little found family, ready to drop at any moment.Â
Each evening, Din readies GrĂł for bed, sometimes bathing his son in a tin bath in front of the fire while you tell him a story by way of distraction. It has quickly become a highlight of the blacksmithâs day, these moments where he watches as you make his beloved boy squeal with laughter, or hold his rapt attention with the twists and turns of a tale.Â
They were content and settled, this clan of two. But Din couldnât help the daydreams about a clan of three that sometimes flashed through his mind.Â
He took every opportunity he could to touch you throughout the day. A squeeze of your hand at the breakfast table as GrĂł drained his cup of milk. A discreet kiss to your cheek as he made his way into the forge for his morningâs work. A gentle caress of your waist as he passes you while youâre laying the table for the main meal, taken in the middle of the day.Â
With GrĂł settled and asleep in the loft, the two of you moved more hastily in the evenings, now, to sort the things for breakfast and smother the fire. The sooner the chores were done, after all, the sooner you could shed your clothes and climb into his bed together.Â
The nervous caution of your first time together soon dissipated as you grew more familiar with each other, more in tune with each otherâs needs and desires. For all his inexperience and your difficult past, the two of you are perfectly-matched lovers. The feeling of Dinâs broad body on yours, glistening with sweat, begins to exorcise the demons of the past. You ride him on top, one hand intertwined with his as he squeezes your breasts and watches you come. He slips his cock inside you one morning as youâre lying together, your back pressed to his chest, and fucks you slowly and carefully until youâre both coming quietly, mouths pushed into the pillows. One evening, he was even too impatient for bed, hitching up your skirts and taking you over the heavy wooden table, hand pressed against your mouth as you whined against his palm.Â
âI want to learn you,â Din whispered one night, easing your long shift off so that you were completely bare, lying alongside his own naked body.Â
You traced your fingertips along the softness of his lips. âLearn me?â
His strong, clever fingers roamed over you as he nodded. âLearn you. Know you, all of you.â He squeezed your tits softly, sucking gently on each nipple. âCommit you to memory. How you feel, how you fit together. Do you like this?â
You wound your fingers through his messy curls and nodded. He followed the curves of your body with his broad, calloused hands, moving over your waist and holding your hips firmly as he reverently kissed your belly. He took his time, hands memorising the exact shape and volume of your form.
âYou are a beauty, mo chuisle,â he murmured, dark eyes looking up at you from between your legs. âSo lovely and soft and warm.â
His fingers pressed into the meat of your thighs as he mapped you out, and you felt the wetness between your legs as your hips bucked upwards, legs parting instinctively.Â
âCan IâŠsee, mo chuisle?â Dinâs palm grazed over the hair covering your mound. âSee youâŠsee you here?â
âOf course, my darling.â You opened your legs wider for him, watching as his eyes grew round in awe, before darkening with lust. He reached for his cock, whimpering a little as he stroked himself.Â
âThatâs beautiful.â He had shifted his head closer to your centre, his expression a little bashful. âIâd like to kiss you here. Would that be alright?â
âPlease, darling,â you hissed. âPut your mouth on me.â
âIâve neverâŠâ He exhaled nervously as he settled between your legs, fingers already playing with your wet folds. âNever even thought of this, butâŠâ
You ran your fingers through his hair and smiled, understanding what he was trying to say. âYouâll know just what to do, love.â
This was new to you, too, though you had heard of men doing it to their girls, especially if they were not meant to lie together. Your friend Mary had, just prior to her marriage, confided in you that she and her betrothed had found a way to sate their passions without the risk of her falling pregnant before the wedding.Â
âThe mouth is a great thing, all the same,â sheâd said, dangling her bare feet in the cool water of the local river on a warm summer day as the two of you lazed on the grassy bank, skirts hitched to your knees. She had explained the mechanisms of it to you, chuckling at your sceptical expression.Â
âJust wait, girleen. Just you wait and see.â
Now Dinâs soft, plush lips were pressed against your slit, tongue tasting your wetness, and you finally understood what she meant. It was heaven: the way his lips brushed against the little bundle of nerves and made your whole body convulse with pleasure, the sensation of his patchy beard against your thighs, how he began to slip his tongue in and out of you. His grunts and moans vibrated against your core and you came hard against him, giggling when you saw the slick glistening all over his smiling face.Â
In the nights to come, you returned the favour, languidly sucking and licking at his perfect cock while he held your head in place with his broad hands, hips bucking up against you as he groaned with sheer pleasure.
You paused, reminding him that he needed to be quieter, before slipping his cock between your lips again. ââS not my fault, mo chuisle,â he panted, eyes locked on how his hard length disappeared into your pretty mouth. âFeels far too good.âÂ
As he came in your mouth for the first time, youâd looked up at his beautiful face, release and pleasure and affection written on every part of it, and begged whatever deity might listen to let you stay here forever.
Din is more comfortable showing his feelings through actions, physical gestures, than words. Little by little, though, you notice him opening up more, saying more. Not that heâd ever be what you could consider a talker.Â
One night, nestled together, you ask him to tell you about himself.
"I want to hear your story, Din.â The comforting caress of your hand against his face makes him smile softly.
"I donât know what there is to tell.â
You cuddle closer to him, enjoying the feel of his solid frame against you. âWell, I donât know much about your family, for oneâŠâ
He shifts a little in bed and for an instant you worry you have overstepped the mark.Â
âItâs not a very happy story, mo chuisle, but if you want to knowâŠâ
A kiss to the expanse of broad, tanned chest exposed at the neck of his nightshirt. âI want to know. If you want to tell me.â
He finds your hand and presses it to his chest, seeking reassurance in your familiar touch, and taking a deep breath before he begins to whisper his story to you.
"Iâm a travelling person. I donât know where I was born - other than that it was probably somewhere towards the west of the country, on a campsite. I have - had - an older sister, a younger brother. Lived off the money from whatever work my father could get - fixing pots and pans, mostly, sometimes farm labour, depending on the season.â
"A hard living.â
He nods, bringing the back of your hand to his lips. âHard, but loving.â He inhales deeply, again, before continuing.
"We were never really wanted anywhere. Moved on, camps disturbed, even attacked, sometimes. We learned quickly how to hide at the first sign of trouble.â
He closes his eyes, a flash of sorrow crossing his beautiful features in the moonlight coming through the little cottage window. âI suppose thatâs what saved me.â
For a few moments, Din is quiet.Â
âWe had camped on land that was part of some big estate, belonging to Lord somebody or other. The usual situation. My father and a couple of our other men went fishing the first day and poaching the first night, to get us some food. I can still see the scales of the big salmon he caught, glinting in the firelight as my mother cleaned it.â
"A feast.â
He nods, a little smile on his lips at the memory, before his features darken again. âBut not our feast to take. The lordâs feast, by virtue of the land being given to him by some far-off king.â He shakes his head ruefully.
"I was coming back with some cans of water the next morning when I heard shouting. The glimpses of red moving towards the camp - the yeomanry. The landlord set them on us, and they gave us no quarter. When some of our men and women tried to defend our few possessions, they - well, they turned violent.â
You hold him close, feeling the anguish in his breathing.
"I saw my father fall, killed by a blow to the head with the butt of a yeomanâs musket. My mother caught a glimpse of me, roared at me to run, to hide, and to my eternal shame I did just that. I didnât go to them. I ran.â
"She wanted you to live, Din. She was saving you.â
He swallows hard, audible in the stillness of the night.Â
âThe local priest found me a couple of days later, still carrying the empty can. Iâd hidden in a ditch, ate blackberries to survive. He arranged for the local blacksmith and his wife to take me in, train me as an apprentice.âÂ
He pauses again. You realise this is the most heâs probably ever said to you in one go.Â
âWhen the time came, I took to the roads myself, honing the craft before I could set up on my own. I wasnât long back when the priest called, saying a cousin in the east knew of an empty forge in need of a good smith.â
"And thatâs how you came here?â
Din nods. âThatâs how I came to be here.â
You venture a sensitive question. âDin⊠what happened to your mother, your siblings?â
"Poorhouse. No other choice.â
Silence.
"I didnât know where theyâd gone. So much sickness in those godforsaken placesâŠâ
Another pause.
âMy brother died first. Then my sister, and then my mother.â
Your voice is tiny, barely a whisper. âDid you⊠see them?â
"By the time we found out what poorhouse they were in⊠it was too late.â
Tears prick at your eyes, and you do your best not to let them fall. This is his story, his grief, not yours. Instead, you shift up the bed a little, still holding his warm body close, and lean in to caress and kiss him.Â
Thereâs a wet, salty tang on his cheek. You kiss away the silent tear.Â
For a moment, you think of what Din told you about how he came to adopt GrĂł: his unwillingness to let the boy go to a poorhouse or orphanage, his desire to protect and train the child, just as he himself had once been taken in by the smith and his wife. Just as he, himself, had once been a lost little boy.Â
You press your lips to the messy curls at the crown of his head.Â
There are times when you almost forget that youâre not really meant to be here, so natural and right does it feel. And then you are jolted back, reluctantly, to a reality where you are still technically the wife of a violent, cruel man who could claim you at any moment.Â
That afternoon, you hear the sound of horses approaching and immediately disappear up to the loft, as usual, until you know itâs safe to descend. You listen attentively as the door opens and breathe a sigh of relief when GrĂłâs delighted little voice greets PeigĂ, here on one of her regular visits. You hear Din enter the cottage from the forge, chatting companionably to his old friend, and make for the ladder.
Youâre a few rungs down when you hear a second, less familiar voice.
âSo where is she, Din?â
He stutters, the panic evident in his voice. You wonder if you can make it back to the loft.Â
Too late.
Father Carthy hears the sound of your skirts and turns, greeting you by name in grave tones.Â
âYou might as well come and join us, my child.â
PeigĂâs gaze is apologetic as you climb down the ladder and move to join the little cluster of adults, Din having sent GrĂł outside to play. You stand beside him, arms wrapped protectively over your body, resisting the urge to reach for his hand.Â
âIâm sorry, girleen.â PeigĂ wrings her hands, expression anxious and sorrowful. âFather came to see me today before I left for the forge, I couldnât turn him out.â
You meet Father Carthyâs eyes with a look of defiance, straightening yourself to your full height, silently demanding an explanation.
âI am not here to force you home. I know yourâŠsituation.â The priest exhales deeply, fingers fiddling with the little black buttons on his long robes. âAnd between us and the wall and the Lord Almighty, if that kind of cruelty and abandonment was grounds for annulment⊠well.â
The back of Dinâs hand brushes almost imperceptibly against yours.Â
âBut you are still a married woman, andâŠâ The cleric sighs apologetically. âMy child, you were seen here. Out in the back field, with the boy. And if Iâve heard it, and people are talking, then itâs only a matter of time before -â
You interject in a low, steady voice. âBefore Searlas finds out where I am.â
The priest nods sadly. âThatâs why I came here. Why I came with PeigĂ, specifically. We⊠have a suggestion.â He looks expectantly at PeigĂ, who offers you an encouraging smile as she nods in agreement.
âMy sister, Rosie - sheâs in the next county, big farm, spinster, plenty of space and could do with the help. You could stay there for a bit and then come home to your own place - until they change the garrison, surely, or that wastrel Searlas can be warned offâŠâ
You bite your lip, mulling it over.Â
âI mean, maybe heâs not going to come looking for me.â
PeigĂ and the priest exchange a concerned glance. The cleric clasps his hands together and looks at you sympathetically.
âThe thing is⊠I have eyes and ears, as it were, in the barracks, and in the public house preferred by the garrison. I didnât want to tell you, my dear, in case it frightened you - but he has been talking about you.â He purses his lips, almost afraid to tell you the truth. âHe has openly talked about finding you, about⊠claiming you. And if he finds out youâve been staying here, with a bachelor - think of your reputation, my child.â
You let out an involuntary sob, and PeigĂ places a comforting hand on your arm. âI think you need to be gone tomorrow, girleen. At the latest. Iâm sorry, I know itâs awful quick, butâŠâ
For the first time, Din speaks. His voice is low, controlled, serious.Â
âBut you - I mean, she must be kept safe.â He looks at you, dark eyes full of care and concern. âIf you want to stay, I will keep you safe. I promise.â
Thereâs nothing more you want in the world than to throw your arms around him and let him protect you, just as you long to protect him from the sorrows of his past. But his description of the day he lost his parents echoes in your mind, as does the tension that crackled in the air the day the soldiers were at the forge. You cannot - will not - bring that down on him again, nor on GrĂł.
âDin, if I stay here I fear that none of us will be safe. Not you, not me, not GrĂł. I couldnât take that risk, my d-â You catch yourself just in time. âI mean, my dear friend.â
PeigĂâs wise, inquisitive eyes dart between you and Din, and she emits a low, intrigued hum.
Din exhales in frustration. âI said I would keep you safe, here. I mean it.â
Father Carthy places a paternal hand on Dinâs shoulder, expression gentle but resigned. âSheâs right, Din, and you know it. Apart from her own reputation - you donât want a troop of redcoats landing on the doorstep, do you? Think of your home, your livelihood - your son.â
The blacksmithâs expression is defiant, but you can see the reality of the situation dawning on him as the light fades from his beautiful eyes. He nods, silent, a hand twisting at the soft, worn leather of his apron.
âEarly as we can after dawn tomorrow, then?â PeigĂ squeezes your hand as she waits for your answer.
You cannot bring yourself to look at Din as you nod in agreement.Â
It is still bright outside, just about, when GrĂł is settled for bed and the dinner things cleared and tidied away. You have packed up your saddlebags in silence, fighting the tears that threaten to fall at any moment.
Dinâs broad hand reaches around your waist as he moves past you, pulling you close to him. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck, kissing the delicate skin.
âCan we take a little walk, mo chuisle? Before night falls?â
You face him, tracing the line of his jaw with your fingers. âA little one. Donât forget thereâs a little boy asleep in the loft, we canât go too far.â
He presses his lips to your fingertips before kissing you on the forehead.Â
You walk hand in hand in the dusk, wandering through the field at the back of the forge towards the old oak tree that stands at the boundary of the property. Din is quiet - even quieter than usual, just casting occasional glances in your direction and squeezing your hand with a gentle smile.
In the shadow of the oak, he kisses you deeply, pressing your body against the tree as he holds your face in his big, strong hands.Â
âI donât want to go, Din.â
âI donât want you to go, mo chuisle.â He kisses you again, chastely, and looks in your eyes. A question hovers on the tip of his tongue.
âTell me, my darling.â
He holds your hands, grounding himself a little in your comforting touch.Â
âI want you to take GrĂł to PeigĂâs sisterâs. Please.â
Even in the half-light, he can read the shock on your face.
âOh, Din, I⊠I couldnât. I couldnât see the two of you parted, heâd be lost without you and you without him and-â
He shakes his head firmly. âI have to keep you safe - both of you. And if a gang of redcoats turned up and it was just me and himâŠâ
He saw his father die.Â
âHeâs your son.âÂ
Din nods. âHe is. And I canât leave him alone again.â
He lost his entire family.
âHe might not want to leave with me.â
âIâve explained it to him. He knows itâs not forever, he understands the reasons why.â You catch a glimpse of his smile, a beacon of hope in the twilight.Â
âMo chuisle, youâre the closest thing he has to a mother in this world.â
You hold each other close through the night, afraid to sleep lest you miss a single second of this time together.Â
Din tucks his face into the side of your neck, inhaling your scent deeply and softly kissing the exposed skin of your shoulders. You wind your fingers through his hair, trying to memorise the rhythm of his heartbeat and his breath.
"You should sleep, mo chuisle,â he whispers against your body. âTomorrow will be a hard one.â
"Says you,â you whisper in return, enough to elicit a muffled chuckle from the blacksmith.Â
He pulls away to look you in the eye, fingers mapping the shape of your features. Even in the low light, you can see how his beautiful eyes glisten: this strong and stoic man, fighting the tears that threaten to fall.
You take his hand and guide it down your body, pausing to hitch up your shift and open your legs. You inhale sharply as his fingers find your pussy, well-practiced now from nights and early mornings spent pleasuring you.Â
With a shift of your hips you roll onto your back, bringing Din on top of you. You pause to take in the sight, suppressing the gnawing feeling that this might well be the last time. The glint in his dark eyes. The moonlight illuminating his features. The feeling of his strong, broad body above you, perfectly positioned between your thighs.Â
âMake love to me, Din.âÂ
He does so slowly, carefully, anchoring himself with one hand on your hip and the other still caressing the side of your face. You kiss as he fucks you, your whines absorbed by his soft mouth. No man had ever made you come before Din, you muse, as your cunt pulses around him and you near the edge. No man had ever made you feel like this - not just physically, but emotionally, too. Sex was presented to you before your marriage as a duty, not a pleasure. With Din, though, lovemaking felt like the most beautiful, natural expression of the spiritual connection that existed between the two of you.Â
You come almost simultaneously, Din groaning into your shoulder as he fills you with his seed, you biting your lip to stop yourself from crying out. Still inside you, he kisses you, over and over, your hands trailing through his wavy brown locks and fingers grazing against the rough, patchy stubble of his jaw.Â
For a moment, you think heâs about to say something. But all he does is kiss you.
Itâs still dark outside when you wake, but thereâs a comforting glow inside the cottage. You sit up in bed, turning to see Din stoking a small fire in the hearth. He has lit the lamp on the mantle, its flickering yellow flame casting light and shadow through the glass.Â
You dress quickly, shivering as your body adjusts to the colder air after the warmth of your shared bed, and cross the room to the little cupboard that holds the few pieces of crockery Din owns. By the time he has climbed the attic ladder to rouse the boy, youâve set the table for a simple breakfast of bread, butter, and the last of the jam youâd brought with you.Â
GrĂłâs fair hair peeks over his fatherâs broad shoulder as Din carries him down the ladder. The little boy is still half-asleep, eyes still closed and nestled into the blacksmithâs frame. Din carefully slides him into his usual seat at the table, ruffling his sonâs hair as GrĂł rubs his eyes and yawns.Â
âI think some bread and jam will help wake you up, hmmm?â You take a couple of slices of bread from the dish and place them on the boyâs little plate, before pushing the jar of jam in his direction. His dark eyes widen as he looks at you, astonished. This is a rare treat, indeed: usually itâs you or Din who spreads the sweet conserve on his bread, as GrĂł is liable to be heavy-handed. But this is not a day for rules or restrictions.
âYou can have as much as you like, little one.âÂ
The tears threaten at the sight of GrĂł enthusiastically scraping the jam out of the earthenware pot, a huge smile on his face as he spoons it liberally onto the soda bread. He takes a huge bite and hums delightedly, before turning to you and beaming. The little boy already has blobs of jam on his cheeks and nose, and the sight makes you chuckle.Â
Din returns to the main room carrying a small knapsack containing GrĂłâs things. He places it alongside your saddlebags before he joins the two of you at the table, giving your hand a squeeze that, you suspect, is intended to reassure him as much as it is you. He keeps a smile on his face, keeps his tone cheery and light, even as his eyes glisten with tears.Â
You are saddling RĂ©altĂn in the dawn light when PeigĂ appears down the lane, wrapped in a rough brown cloak and riding her small grey mount. She dismounts swiftly and nods to you.Â
âAll set?â
âI think so. I left the two on their own for a little bit, just to⊠well, you know.â You swallow hard and look in the direction of the forge. âItâll be hard for them.â
PeigĂ hums in agreement. âAye, âtwill. But Dinâs right. And hopefully that bollocks of a so-called husband will be out of the picture soon enough and you can come home. The prick.â
You canât help but chuckle at the venom in her tone. âHopefully. Iâm awful grateful to you and your sister, PeigĂ. I mean, maybe weâre being overly cautious, butâŠâ
She shakes her head, russet curls bouncing. âNot a bit of it. You can never tell with a fucker like that.â The cottage door opens, and Din appears, GrĂł securely held in his strong arms.Â
âAnd thereâs the best boy in all of Ireland!â PeigĂ races over, taking the knapsack and planting a kiss on GrĂłâs cheek. âWe should probably get going, girleen.â
She tactfully retreats to the horses, giving you, Din, and GrĂł some space to say your goodbyes. You feel the blacksmithâs broad arm snake around your waist, uncaring as to whether PeigĂ saw the affectionate gesture - or, more likely, all too aware that she knew exactly what was going on.Â
The little boy brings a hand up to touch his fatherâs handsome face, big eyes scanning Dinâs features as if heâs committing them to memory.Â
âNĂĄ bĂodh eagla ort, grĂĄ mo chroĂ.â [Donât be afraid, love] The blacksmith smiles, but heâs fighting back the tears as he kisses his sonâs golden hair. Instinctively, you rest your head on Dinâs shoulder, trying to keep your own emotions in check.Â
GrĂłâs dark eyes fill with tears and his father comforts him with cuddles. âYouâll have a lovely time on the farm, wonât you? And youâll look after her while youâre on your visit.â He looks at you, and you nod, smiling at GrĂł.
âOf course he will. Heâs a big, brave lad.â The little boy grins at the praise before flinging his arms around Dinâs neck for a final tight hug.
âBe good, and take this.â Din reaches into his pocket to produce a small, silvery chain, evidently made by his own hands. A metal disc dangles from it, and you realise that Din has engraved it with his sonâs name. He places it over the boyâs head, smiling at GrĂł as he picks up the pendant and coos at the shiny object.
âWe should get going, lads.â PeigĂâs voice carries in the still of the early morning, and Din passes his son to you. GrĂł nuzzles against you, still holding on to the little pendant that hangs from his neck.Â
Dinâs long fingers find your hand and press something into your palm. He leans in to kiss your cheek. His voice, warm but wavering with emotion, whispers in your ear.Â
 âIs tĂș mo ghrĂĄ thĂș, mo chuisle.â [You are my love, my darling.]
You stifle the sob thatâs rising in your chest.Â
âI love you too, Din.â
PeigĂâs sister Rosie shares her sisterâs hardy, forthright personality and her tightly curled auburn hair, but not a lot else. Where PeigĂ is small, Rosie is tall; where PeigĂ is talkative and open, Rosie is quiet and reserved. Still, her welcome is genuine, her home comfortable, and you feel at ease from the moment you cross the threshold after a long dayâs journey to some semblance of sanctuary.
You retire quickly once youâve been fed and watered, PeigĂ sharing with Rosie while you and GrĂł make do with a settle bed. The little boy falls asleep almost immediately, and you gently kiss his soft cheek, willing him to know that it comes from his father, too.
With the household abed, you can finally look again at Dinâs parting gift to you: a chain and pendant, similar to GrĂłâs. Where the little boyâs bears his name, however, yours carries a symbol, evidently engraved into the metal by the blacksmith himself. Three interconnected spirals - an ancient symbol, one that you recognise from a dolmen tomb that stands in a field not far from your birthplace, one that people in the locality have long speculated about.
Father Carthy would say it is a symbol of the Holy Trinity: three divine beings in one, a sign of early Christians in Ireland. But the storytellers in the townland say itâs far older than any church, its meaning lost to the mists of time.
You trace the three spirals with your fingertip in the darkness. Three as one. For you, that is meaning enough.
He was alone for a long time, Din reminds himself - alone before you, alone even before GrĂł. He can be alone again.
That said, though, thereâs being alone and not knowing anything different, and being alone now. He still automatically goes to the foot of the attic ladder every morning, ready to wake his little boy. He hides the bowl and cup GrĂł usually uses, because the sight of them makes his heart ache. He throws himself into his work, distracting himself with glowing-hot metal.
And then there is your absence. He had never lived with a woman, not like this; never shared his bed night after night, never loved like this. For the first few days, he wakes with a start when he reaches for your warm, soft body and realises youâre not there.Â
He tries not to think about the reality of the situation: the fact that, even if you were to return home tomorrow, you could never be together, at least not while Searlas lived. There are nights when, alone in his bed and desperate for the embrace of your arms, violence tempts Din. In his younger years, he might already have taken matters into his own hands.Â
As the days and weeks tick by with no sign of your so-called husband, and no word from Father Carthy, the blacksmith reminds himself to be patient - and not to fall into complacency. He had never really lost that sense of looking over his shoulder: from childhood, from the rebellion, and now he felt glad of it. No one from the community mentions you to him, though he knows they must have heard by now that you had been hiding from Searlas at the forge. He does his repairs as usual, driving into the village with his pony and trap to return items and collect others, pulling his kerchief over his face as he makes his way through the main street lest he spy a troop of redcoats.Â
One of the regular customers asks about GrĂł when heâs returning her extra-large soup pan, newly mended. Din hesitates, but keeps his expression steady.
âHeâs spending time with someâŠcousins,â he explains. âOn a farm. Itâll be good for him, heâll learn from the experience.â
The woman doesnât ask further, pays up, and retreats back into her little house as Din turns his horse and cart for home. As he gathers speed, he hears a voice calling his name. Father Carthy, clad in his long black cassock and wearing a broad-brimmed hat, is waving to him from the end of the laneway that leads to the chapel.Â
âCould you spare me a few moments, Din? Follow me up to the parish house.â
The priestâs house is a decently-sized cottage, larger but not too dissimilar to the majority of the dwellings in the village. Father Carthy might be responsible for the majority of the believers in the community, but his is not the âestablishedâ church, the official church of the state and gentry, and as such his home is a far cry from the grand, double-fronted manse occupied by the vicar who tends to the local worthies. Even the location of the chapel, tucked off a narrow laneway behind the main street, is a testament to the lower status of this particular branch of religion.
Din enters, taking off his hat and kerchief, and follows the clericâs gesture to take a seat near the hearth. Father Carthy does the same, pulling his chair closer to Din.
âI have news. I havenât been able to find a way to dissuade Searlas from seeking her out, but a little bird tells me that theyâre going to change the troops again in a week or so. The current crop has beenâŠrowdy.â The priest purses his lips, mulling over the stories he has heard of public drunkenness, fighting, and even soldiers nonchalantly carousing with women in the pubs and on the street. He decides not to give Din too many of the gory details.Â
âSo theyâre going to be sent elsewhere, split up. Clonmel, I heard, for some, and Castlebar for others. Maybe a few to Cork. Thereâs ructions, as you can imagine - a rare thing to break up a regiment - butâŠâ
Din meets the priestâs meaningful gaze. âButâŠhe would be gone.â
Father Carthy nods. âItâs not a solution, not forever, but it at least would let her come home to her own place again, and GrĂł home to you. You were right to send the boy with her, too - who knows what might have happened had he come knocking?â
Din closes his eyes and furrows his brow at the priestâs turn of phrase: âher own placeâ. It was a reminder of the truth, that you were not - and could not be - his.
Father Carthy gets to his feet, a signal to Din that it was time to go. âIn the meantime, Iâm going to look more closely into the canon law around annulment. Iâm not hopeful, but maybe she might be able to build a case for it. He did abandon her, after all. Anyway -â he opens the door, and Din exits â- it would free her, at least, from the threat of him.â
The blacksmith thanks Father Carthy as he saddles up to head back to the forge, his heart lighter than it had been in weeks. On the road home, Din smiles to himself as he thinks about seeing GrĂł again, holding his little boy in his arms, watching you give him an extra spoonful of jam at breakfast, tucking him in to sleep at night. He thinks about your eyes, your smile; the feeling and taste of your mouth; the scent of your skin.Â
No matter what, he promises himself, no matter the rules or the law or whatever a piece of paper might say: heâll kiss you again, hold you, take you to bed, and show you how much he missed you.
A couple of days later, as dusk settles, Din lights the lamp and finishes clearing away his lone dinner bowl and mug. Anticipation courses through him as he thinks about seeing two - no, three - places set for the evening meal again. Soon. Soon, theyâll be home.
He yawns and stretches, a hand reaching up to scratch his wavy, dark locks. It had been a hard day in the forge: a run of horses that needed to be shod, urgent repairs, and the difficulty of managing the work itself as well as the bellows and the fire, all by himself. An early night, he decides, might be in order.
Heâs in his shirt and breeches when he hears the sound. A horse, its footfall cautious and uncertain, as though it had not been down the laneway before. A rider, barking commands and swearing at the animal. Din pulls his kerchief from his pocket and fastens it around his face before climbing swiftly up the attic ladder. His hand reaches into the thatch, on the other side of the house from GrĂłâs little bed, and retrieves a pike, smaller in design than the ones heâd hammered by the dozen in 1798 but no less lethal in the right hands. He grips the pike in his right hand, hidden from view while he opens the door with his left.
The rider struggles off his horse, evidently drunk. His scarlet tunic is unmistakable. The light from the cottage illuminates his features: pale, washed-out complexion; unhappy mouth set in a miserable line; hard blue eyes that offered nothing but coldness.Â
âWhere the fuck is she, then, the stupid fucking bitch?â
Dinâs fist tightens around the pike, but he holds his ground, still peering around the door. âWho is it? Who are you?â
Searlas swaggers drunkenly towards the house. âI know youâre a tinker, but you donât have to play thick with me. You know who I am.â He beats his chest, peacocking as he nears Dinâs threshold. âIâm a soldier of the fucking crown, so I am. And Iâm here for whatâs mine.â
He pokes Dinâs broad chest, seeming a little startled at how solid the blacksmith actually is. Searlasâs watery eyes meet Dinâs stern gaze.Â
âSo⊠where the fuck is she?â
âWhoever youâre after,â Din says, maintaining the same tone heâs used throughout the encounter so far, âtheyâre not here. I live alone.â
Searlas pushes Din in frustration, and Din recoils a little at the stench of cheap poitĂn from the other, smaller man. âI know sheâs fucking here. The whole fucking place knows.â He steps back and starts to roar upwards, as if addressing you in an attic hiding place.Â
âDid you not think Iâd find you? Youâre that fucking stupid, you would think that. Iâm here now, time to go home. Youâre mine, remember?â He shakes his fist, swaying a little.
âSheâs not here. And even if she was, why do you care so much now? You left her on her own for years, apart from all the other things you did to her.â
Searlas stares at Din, a look of disgust on his face. âSo you do know her? Sheâs full of shit, so she is. Full of lies. Not to be trusted.â
He wheels around again, almost losing his balance completely this time. âYou were seen, you lying cunt!â
Dinâs fingers clench and release over and over around the pike. He swallows the urge to run this miserable fucker through.
The soldier looks at him through glassy, drunken eyes. âSheâs mine, see. And I think I want to take whatâs mine. Time she was taught a lesson.â He roars the last word, as if hoping youâll hear him and emerge.
The blacksmith edges out slightly and stands firmer, broader, in his front door. Searlas stares at him accusingly.Â
âDâyou fuck her?â
Din holds his body and face completely still, focusing on the grip of the pike and his breathing.
âI said, did you fuck her? Did you fuck my wife?â
Din takes a deep breath. âDo you have the right to call her your wife, after what you did?â
Searlasâs jaw drops in astonishment. Din knew that he was just a bog-standard Irish Catholic soldier signed up for cannon fodder like all the others, but it was clear that the other man believed his uniform made him one of the âbettersâ, no matter what.
âWhat did you say to me?â
âI said, do you have the right to call her your wife?â
Searlas almost growls with drunken fury. âI have the right to call her whatever I fucking like.â Din notices his fist tightening by his side and steels himself as the other man approaches, menacingly.Â
âIâll call her what I fucking like,â Searlas repeats, âincluding calling her what she is. A slut. A liar. A frigid, barren, useless excuse for a woman. And now? Sheâs filthy, tinkerâs whore. Thatâs all she is. A stupid, ugly, disgusting tinkerâs whore.â
The speed with which Din moves takes the soldier by surprise, as does the bright flash of the pikeâs blade as it reflects the moonlight. The blacksmith uses the long handle first, roaring as he beats Searlas away with some well-placed blows. He moves with agility and confidence as the soldier fumbles in his sleeves for a weapon, and produces a narrow switchblade dagger.
âIâll fucking show you, tinker,â he roars, the poitĂn giving him an exaggerated confidence. âIâll skin you alive, fucking another manâs wife.â
He lunges at Din, but a swift, measured flick of the pikeâs bladed end knocks the dagger to the ground and tears a hole in the scarlet tunic. Now Din presses his advantage, driving Searlas back to his horse.
âGet out of here and leave her alone. Forever. Donât you ever come near her again.â
A more sober man would have cut and run, and would do so wisely. But Searlasâs selfishness combined with his drunkenness made for a terrible cocktail of aggression and abuse.
âAnd what will you do, tinker? They should have hanged every last one of you rebel scum in â98. Pity that scalp wasnât ripped from your skull with a pitchcap.â He pats his thighs, as if seeking another blade. âYou couldnât defend yourselves then, why do you think you could stand up to the kingâs army now?â He cocks his head and looks at Din, eyes menacing.Â
âOr are you just that desperate to defend a thick, useless slut like my wife?â
The grunting, the roars, and the sickening sound of a strong, sturdy fist meeting flesh and bone resonate in the stillness of the twilight. And then another sound, louder still: the unmistakable thud of a manâs body hitting the cold ground.Â










