Olruggio is, as ever, a difficult person to announce almost anything to.

Already, Qifrey can picture the way this conversation will go in his mind—he'll admit to the desire to take on a few apprentices, obfuscating any part of the reason why behind some sort of selfless desire to be a better teacher than his master. Olruggio will initially be surprised, but will take the matter seriously when Qifrey makes it clear he's serious, and will probably acquiesce, grumbling, to the earnest request that he take on the role of Qifrey's Watchful Eye.

The earnestness with which he will eventually go along with Qifrey's intentions is what makes it difficult; even thinking about it sends an itch throughout Qifrey's entire body as something slithers and grows and writhes within.

You and me, Qifrey thinks, and a gaggle of apprentices I'm taking on more for myself than for them. And my secret. What a lovely picture of a life.

The snaking branches wither at the strained picture of what might otherwise be a nice reality. The idea that Olruggio must be made to believe in Qifrey's earnest desire to teach students and practically raise children somewhere isolated, free of the suffocation that comes with the Great Hall, is almost as nauseating as having to pretend as much towards those hypothetical students themselves.

But a teacher never wants for worry, and though he's looking forward to days spent under the open sky, Qifrey feels secure in the thought that he's just trading one source of stress and discomfort for another.

"Olly," Qifrey starts, a grab for attention.

That's almost the end of things there, because Olruggio looks at him as openly as ever, and Qifrey wishes he didn't have to abide the war of emotions that always brings up—happy, because Olruggio's care for him hasn't diminished even despite a second and third execution of erased memories on his part, and guilty because of the lies he knows he's going to have to spill one after another in the ensuing conversation.

When he looks away, he masks it as embarrassment; he paints a picture for Olruggio to scrutinize of a man seeking the validation of his best friend.