Ah well, at least this was a better situation for escorting the two lovebirds...

  God, this was boring.  Might as well make small talk...Christ.

  Hey max.

  if this shitshow  continues to play before my pigmentless eyeballs im gonna ralph holy fucking shit just get a room already

  roxy youre my only saving grace in this help me on this trying day of singles being painfully aware of their sitch

  911 sos whatever i need help

  not just anybody

  ...

  i suppose the inevvitable is wwhat i get for finally slippin up after swweeps a lyin about THAT particularly accursed, wwretched day on the fuckin calendar.  a course it had to not only be the same on the swweepal one, but also the fuckin YEARLY one.  god fuckin damn it i hate this shit.

  rox isnt goin to let me livve this dowwn, god damn it.  

    If you had asked Jade last year if she’d ever consider working with Dirk on anything, she would’ve just rolled her eyes and lectured you on why he was a bad person, and then tell you that her little rant was an abridged version, and you should see Dave if you want the unabridged one.  She wasn’t his biggest fan, and that was mostly from having to deal with Dave, and watching her siblings leave her for that douchebag.  He hurt her, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever forgive him.

    While Jade would sill never forgive Dirk, she could at least put it aside for a common goal of finding her siblings, and maybe ending this petty squabbling once and for all.

    New Years was hectic; it ended up leading to a lot of drama, and shit she wasn’t prepared for, one of them being being on speaking terms with Dirk again.  A heated discussion lead to a revelation that her siblings were alive, but in an unknown world far from their own homeworlds.  As hesitant as she was about seeing the two again, as she never truly knew them, Jade had quickly offered up a solution once the problem of “Dirk doesn’t know where they are” was presented.  The Prince could manipulate strings of fate, and they became more solid the closer they were to their owner...so why not combine that, with her many shops?  She had so many shops scattered across the multiverse, Jake and Jane had to be somewhere.  

    It’s been just over a month since they began searching. 

    In that time, Jade had successfully offered to make Dirk a new pair of eyes during one of his breaks to rest his powers.  Naturally, he did look disturbed by the thought of it, like she couldn’t do a good job (excuse the hell outta him), but once Jade reminded him of Vriska’s arm and eye, and her own eye, he seemed to calm down the slightest.  He argued his eyes were just fine, but a reminder of more dangerous worlds and situations was brought to light (what if his eyes powered down during a fight, and he and Roxy were separated?  What if something artificial tried to kill him, and he couldn’t see it?), he eventually agreed to it.  So while he searched for her elusive siblings, she spent days and nights building him some new eyes to match her own single one.

    Sure, they got caught on the eye part (Roxy was worried, and nearly hit Jade for scooping out Dirk’s eyes), but for the most part?  Their search was uneventful.  Results were inconclusive, god damn it.

    “How many worlds have you checked today?” Jade inquired, breaking a thirty-minute long silence that had the accompanying track of magical energies, and tinkering sounds.  “We’ve gone through so many, we have to be running out.”  The list next to her had more scratches on it than clean entries, signifying the sheer amount of worlds they’d scoured.  Twilight Town was one of the first ones they’d tried, and got a...strange result there, but she had to get Dirk to focus on the task at hand instead of seizing up.  Pandora was a no go (surprisingly), Gielinor was empty (he got sized up by some wayward adventurer that was looking for a fight), Hyrule was a bust (like Jade was going back there, when Midna was hanging around!), and the Lucid Plains were a majorly bad idea (they popped in at night, and nearly got clobbered by an Iron Giant...Dirk decided that was a good enough time to go to bed).  Suffice to say, no luck.

    It’d been a month.  She was thoroughly convinced that maybe there was no use in trying anymore.  Roxy was gonna catch on at some point, Dave could come back home at any moment from his job over in Pandora (that was a change, he usually got jobs in Nirn), and Dirk was just drying his mana reserves for nothing.  Yeah, he was getting better at it with each attempt, but it changed nothing.  There was nothing.  They had nothing to show for their work, other than the fact that Dirk had new eyes (that were fucking awesome, if she did so say herself), and she made good on her promise to Roxy to get her a new arm (or ten).

1 DONT L1K3 1T, WH3R3 TH3 FUCK D1D H3 GO

1 M34N 1T’S NOT 4 N3W D3V3LOPM3NT S1NC3 H3 K3PT L34V1NG W1TH TH4T B4G OF H1S TH4T W4S SUSP1C1OUSLY SH4P3D, BUT H3′S B33N GON3 4 WH1L3, 1′M ST4RT1NG TO SUSP3CT FOUL PL4Y

  TH3 MOST CUR1OUS S3T OF 3V3NTS H4V3 OCCUR3D

  L4LOND3 1S OFF TH3 W4LLS 3CST4T1C, WH1L3 4MPOR4′S M1S3R4BL3 B3YOND COMPR3H3NS1ON

  1′V3 D3DUC3D B4S3D ON L4LOND3′S SH4D1N3SS TH4T TH3S3 TWO 3V3NTS CORR3L4T3 BUT FOR WHY 1 DON’T KNOW JUST Y3T...

  jesus christ im not dealing with this this year im tired and i want to spend new years with my boyfriend is that so much to ask

  ROXY :A:

  could you PLEASE deal with your cousin oh my god???  hes doing that systematic temporal oppression bullshit agaaainnnn >A<  you or dirk or SOMEONE hes been drinking with vriska again