#techdeckstyle

You’re on your computer writing up a code, you weren’t sure how you even knew what to write, you just did it. You have a feeling the voices were guiding you, but you can’t be sure.

After you finished it, you laid on the roof of your hivestem with bicyclops, watching the stars and seeing if you could hear that voice again. You couldn’t pick it out of the multitude of voices, so you suppose you either never heard it, or your code worked and you changed the course of time.

You wouldn’t know that that’s how you doomed everyone. Changing history to stop a very simple, yet very important part of a long line of events from happening. You doomed your universe before the session even started, how you were allowed to do this where your alternates didn’t, we can never be sure. But you singlehandedly killed everyone before the session was even an idea. In your universe, Doc Scratch never arrived, Terezi never got blinded, Vriska never lost her arm, Tavros got paralyzed, Aradia never died.. Never found the game, and so on.

The dream skips on, further into past-you’s future. You’re screaming as the voices get so loud, tears streaming down your face as it feels like they could rip your skull open from the inside, there’s so many of them. You end up trying to figure out what they want, writing what they’re saying over your floor and walls, and eventually Aradia comes to find you, when she hasn’t heard from you for a few days, thinking you just forgot to log on and sleep, instead she finds you flat on your back, hardly breathing, asleep for the most part, the walls of your room covered in a multitude of different coloured chalks. Everywhere is written things like, ‘this isn’t how it was supposed to be’, ‘I can’t die I’ve got so much to live for’, ‘I hope it doesn’t hurt’, among many other morbid, to-the-point phrases. She doesn’t wake you, thinking you just had some kind of episode and it’s best to let you sleep it off.

You dream of an alien. He tries to communicate with you, but you don’t understand what he’s saying. He seems to understand you though, and you figure it’s just a dream so you confide in him, tell him all about your waking daymare, and he listens intently.

-

There seems to be a countdown in your head, just a few days left, and you grow increasingly more frantic as time goes on, Aradia doesn’t listen to you, Karkat is missing, even Eridan won’t come over to hear you out. You just don’t know what to do. But every night, you end up back there, in that same dream, with that same alien, and he lets you talk to him, lets you tell him everything that’s happening. He’s given up trying to talk to you, you’ve just fallen into only asking him yes or no questions so he can nod or shake his head. Although you mostly ask him if you’ve finally cracked, if you’re as crazy as everyone keeps telling you you’ve become. He always shakes his head, more assertive each time, as if he’s trying to drum it into your head that you’re fine. It’s everyone else that’s crazy for not listening- or, that’s how you’re interpreting it, anyway.

-

It finally happens. On a cold night that’s particularly dark, the sky is lit up with stars. Very large stars. Stars so large they could almost be- Meteors.

Something that alien said before you left him last time flashes through your mind, you couln’t understand, but he mimed lying down and pressed the back of his hand to his cheek and closed his eyes, then pointed to the floor, nodding his head and looking to you, prompting you for something. You just nodded, confused, and let yourself wake up. You were thinking about it, you guessed he meant for you to make sure you slept and came back (the last time you stayed up all night trying to figure out this mess and missed him, he looked agitated when you next saw him, tapping his wrist and gesturing around. He looked tired, like he’d been there waiting for you. You'd almost fallen into confusing him for a real person).

You just know you’re going to die, but you’ve sort of come to terms with it. A few meteors fall nearby, near enough for the breeze to feel a few degrees warmer moments after it touches down. You’re getting messages on trollian like crazy, mostly people asking if you did this, if you’ve been planning something, a couple apologiing for not believeing you. Even Aradia. You can hear her in your head again, and you know it’s her. She just keeps saying she’s ‘sorry’, and that she ‘should’ve listened’. There’s nothing you can do now. You resign yourself to your fate and lie down where you’re standing, right in the middle of your living block.

Maybe if you sleep through it it’ll hurt less.

-

You awaken in that dream again, and this time that alien is there, but he’s not sat down, lounging around your dream-room or floating outside your dream-window. He’s rocking on the balls of his feet, and when you appear he says something too fast for you to even think about figuring it out, then grabs you and -you can feel his hand around your wrist as if it was real, perhaps you have gone mad- he drags you off above some planet, then you both float through the void of space with no reference for speed, until you reach a tear in space itself, it looks like a portal, but you can’t see through it, the blue-black swirling vortex looks inviting though, and he pulls you through.

-

You blacked out at that point, and didn’t awake until what felt like much later, after dreams of screaming slowly subsiding into distant murmurs of betrayal, of conformation of some ‘conspiracy’. You awaken in some peculiar place, with some other Alien talking to herself about something or other, and she spots you awakening, stopping herself in her tracks and running out of the room. Returning moments later with that first alien from your dream. You ask them what happened, where you are, when you’ll wake up, if it was real, so many questions spill from your lips as if you don’t know how to ask questions coherently anymore. Eventually the female shooshes you and rests her hand on your forehead as you fall back to sleep. Sleep that would be wrought with terrors and an awful feeling of unease that could never be supressed.

That, was how you met Dave and Roxy. And how you singlehandedly killed all your friends. All that is that didn’t escape through some miracle means. Those that did had it out for you, thinking you setup the whole situation, the meteors, telling everyone that something was going to happen was apparently a bluff. Then of course you escaped the planet. All without your own knowledge, but they didn’t know that, wouldn’t believe you when you told them what really happened. And they still hunt you down to this day. So far the closest anyone has gotten to exacting their revenge is Vriska, and you owe your ‘brother’ a life debt thanks to her.

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