#te;xt

For the last two months, my grandfather has been really ill.  He broke his hip and then was in a nursing home.  After that, he had TIAs (or mini strokes) and overall, it’s been physically and mentally exhausting.  I spent nearly two weeks with my grandmother while he was in and out of the hospital and nursing home.  I made sure she ate and went to bed.  I slept on a really uncomfortable couch and eventually slept on the floor because it seemed the better option.  I didn’t take care of myself as well as I should have, but stress eats at us all.  Prior to staying with her, I had an uncle (I wasn’t close to him) pass away from a motorcycle accident.  

Anyway, the point is, I’ve been struggling with a lot lately, and I know that this is just me finding a way to cope—to breathe—but I wanted to tell you.  

He passed this morning at 4am.  I knew it was coming.  We all knew it was coming.  I wasn’t there.  I didn’t want to be there.  

This is the man that has been a part of my life since I was born.  A man that, despite all of his faults, loved me with all his heart.  It’s hard, and maybe it’s my emotions getting to me, but please don’t ask me if I’m okay.  It’s obvious that I’m not, and even if you asked, I would say I’m fine.

And please don’t say you’re sorry for my loss.  You have nothing to apologize for.  All I wanted was to let this out for those that care to read.  I thank you for taking the time to read all of this.  Knowing that someone knows is enough for me.  I didn’t know how to tell anyone individually without repeating myself multiple times, and I know that most of you (you are all my friends in some form) don’t follow my personal so...

I don’t have the muse anymore.  Maybe it’ll come back.   Maybe it’ll come back in a month or two.  Maybe I’ll be back to rping Emma by Christmas.  And maybe I won’t.  

I’ve had this muse for three years.  

Three years.  

And it kills me that Emma is disappearing.  

I’ve just made a personal blog where you can reach me at from now on.  If you’d like to follow, go to 

ghostedneon​.  

I might follow some of you to keep track of you, so if you see ghostedneon started following you, it’s me.

I’ll queue this up and stop cluttering your dashes with all of my ooc stuff.  There are a few things already in my queue, but it’ll run out shortly.

It’s been a fun three years.   Thank you to everyone that has rped with me, that has talked to me.   Thank you to all the friends I’ve made.  Goodbye to all of those friends I’ve lost contact with.  You all made rping Emma a lot of fun, and I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere without you.  

THIS IS ME WHEN WATCHING THAT MOVIE. I STILL CRY EVERY SINGLE TIME…

winks