out of all of my works that will never be picked up by trad pub... fiasco is #1 that baby has everything: catboys, lost + ancient advanced technologies, child grooming, nonbinary polyamorous characters, evil adult children, a sports stadium, gay sex, living teacups. my freakish little universe.
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it’s been over a year since i posted this on my patreon, now inactive, so i figure it’s time to brush it off and put it on proud display because even as bad as i am at perspective, i think i did alright with this one. this is dust and fiasco’s room, where they lived nearly all of their lives until they graduated college and fiasco was exiled for magical nonsense.
Jacqueline: But that place is haunted.
Brionna: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!
Jacqueline, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!
☄
Raleigh: I truly hate it here <;3
Jacqueline: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is it?
Monique: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is women?
Brionna: Now replace “funny” with “women”. Not so women now, is funny?
Kirby: I’m having a f***ing stroke.
Monique: Now replace “stroke” with “baby”. Congratulations!
☄
Brionna: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...
Monique: I really care about your feelings!
Jacqueline: I really care about YOUR feelings!
Brionna, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...
Raleigh: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!
Kirby: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!
(this one is fucking insane, the generator just paired up the real pairs)
Fixed
Alma: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Beck a little bit.
Danyil, holding Alma's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Alma: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Danyil: My mistake.
☄
Alma: Danyil, why is Beck intruding on our cuddle time?
Beck: Danyil, why is Alma intruding on our cuddle time?
Danyil, in distress: Please… I have two hands…
(THIS ONE is funny because danyil explicitly does not have two hands)
☄
Beck: It's locked. You got a lock pick?
Danyil: Yeah-
Alma: *kicks in the door*
The Daring Fiasco and the Safety of the Realm
Fiasco: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?
Grey: Not by the law!
☄
Fiasco: Here are two pictures. One of them is your bedroom, and the other is a garbage dumpster. Can you tell which is which?
Jackknife:
Jackknife: This one is the dumpster.
Fiasco: They’re both your bedroom.
☄
Fiasco: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for.
Fiasco: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
Dust: ...Thanks.
☄
Clover: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A.
Dust: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.
Fiasco: Fuck you.
Devil Dogs
Ramsey: Are you packed for the trip?
Hazel: Yup.
Ramsey: Then where are your bags?
Hazel: All I’m bringing is a good attitude and a sense of adventure.
Ramsey: A change of underwear might be nice.
☄
Ramsey: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?
Hazel: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.
☄
Hazel: There's no way they like me back.
Minnea: Ramsey would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.
Hazel: Ramsey would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.
horror writing asks pt. 2
⚗️ - has your character ever been involved in mad science? how did they get involved with it? why are they doing it?
my dear friend fiasco (fiasco) is involved in, like, fantasy mad science. as a child he would concoct these elaborate rube goldberg-style plots and plans to steal things from street vendors and he was noticed by a university professor who was interested in the unregulated study of negative matter, a transdimensional substance that could be summoned into their world through doors (any closed shape) with enough focus. negative matter is malleable + can be controlled with concentration, but alive-- individual particles have their own sentience --so the study of negative matter is difficult. this professor, clover, thought that fiasco's ability to manipulate different elements without any training could be honed into masterful control of negative matter, and adopted fiasco and his friend dust so that he could teach them how to summon. without direction, though, fiasco is a little hellion, and he gets himself banished by using this education irresponsibly (to steal). he still uses it to steal in the present, though this time he's stealing relics from his childhood home-- the university, which has since shut down under mysterious circumstances --which have been appropriated by private collectors. he's largely uninterested in the study, more in the results, but he could be considered a sort of rogue lab assistant.
🐈⬛ - does your character have any familiars? are they beloved pets or just tools to be used? are they intelligent like humans? do they have their own powers?
none of my characters at the moment have familiars! i WISH they did because i fucking love that sort of thing, + maybe i can work them into that unnamed haunted house/witch thing that i've been thinking about, writing nothing for months. i'm sure that in a world with familiars there are a variety of answers to that second question, but because i'm so interested in the animal companion thing my protagonist would love their familiar like crazy. they would be intelligent, and likely smarter than their human counterpart, and any powers that they had would probably be more passive, like psychic abilities or shapeshifting or something. i blame hdm.
horror writing asks pt. 2
💀 - is your character afraid of dying? if so, how far would they go to cheat death?
i'd say that a lot of my characters are afraid of death in that, like, sort of vague and dissociated way that most people are afraid of dying. like, a lot of them-- for all of the violence and everything they're dealing with --don't have a lot of experience actually considering their deaths when the stories begin. there are exceptions like raleigh (wolf's tooth), who i won't talk about because his whole deal isn't really relevant to the question, kirby (wolf's tooth), hazel + ramsey (devil dogs) who have had near-death experiences. hazel is actively afraid of dying and will do anything to avoid it-- this has to do with the deaths of his parents and his upbringing; he's got a fear of the afterlife --and ramsey is more afraid of The Dead. like, bodies; the idea that he could be empty like that.
other characters of mine are probably more like raleigh: tired and unafraid of death until they're literally about to die
🍿 - if your character had to be in a horror movie, what kind would it be?
would it be a cop-out to say creature feature? because i'm obsessed with them. i love weird things with vague or bullshit origin stories terrorizing people who don't understand them.
if i had to decide based on theme of story or character motivation i'd say that the wolf's tooth crew would have to be in a slasher, but specifically a goofy teen slasher. this is what we call 'giving them a break'. the gang from fiasco would absolutely be in a sci-fi/horror movie, like, fly style. like the thing style. invisible man style. i know i've just named three very different movies but you get it. devil dogs needs to be some mixture of psychological and supernatural; like, they need to be hunted by some kind of ghost that projects their fears in shafts of moonlight or something so they tear each-other to pieces.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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oh! i guess i should reblog the meme now huh. lmao
from the writeblr ask game
20. FIRE - What is the worst thing you've ever created?
sending me ONLY the hard ones. after determining by your own power that i was accepting ask meme questions.
ok so, in fiasco, the negative matter that the characters pull through dimensions to make objects and animals as if from nothing is, like. if they focus really hard they can control all of the components, but if the summoned object is left in their world long enough it gains its own sentience. so i guess i'd say the worst thing i've ever created is, like, the living sandwich
24. GREED - If you could steal a character from any other story, who would you take?
this is an extremely difficult question because i want to say quentin magicians but i feel like that's too obvious, i feel like everyone can tell, like, they look at me and think 'that guy wants quentin coldwater from the magicians to be his oc sooooo bad'. so i'm gonna go w/ someone else. i want KIBA FROM WOLF'S RAIN HE'S THE BLUEPRINT FOR ALL OF MY OCS ANYWAY