#tddwog

Gumball and friends are bouncing off the walls screaming in the hallway. Ms. Simian charges through, ducking to avoid them. She slams the door to the Teacher’s Lounge. Backed into a wall are Brown, Small, Corneille, Coach, Rocky, and Nurse.

“Lucy, speak to me,” Brown says dramatically.

“I BARELY made it out alive!” Simian exaggerates. She hisses at the door. “These children are going to be the death of us.”

Small chuckles. “They’re not THAT bad!” He opens the door and a blur of kids rushes by. He turns back around and has deep scratches on his face. 

“They’re getting exercise so technically it’s a good thing,” Coach groans. 

“I’d figure out what their problem is, but unfortunately I still have self-preservation instincts,” says Ms. Markham.

The children start violently knocking on the door. Everyone looks at Rocky.

“I won’t go!” he cries, huddling into a ball. 

“I’m sorry, kid,” says Corneille. “It’s your turn.”

“I have an idea! Let’s stay in here forever.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Brown. “We can’t stay in the Teacher’s Lounge forever. We have to deal with the students like responsible parents.”

“Nigel, we’re not parents,” Simian moans. There is a bloodcurdling scream from outside. Brown’s pupils dilate.

“Let’s just stay here until the war is over,” he says nervously.

“But Rhonda takes up half the lounge,” Corneille whispers.

“I heard that,” says the Coach.

“Let’s ration our food,” says Brown.

“Sorry,” Rocky whines. “I just ate all the pineapple candies.” He opens his mouth to reveal giant teeth with yellow grime encrusted on them.

“It’s fine,” says Small. “I’ll order a pizza.” He calls on a phone. “Hello! I’m here to actually place an order. I thought all pizzas were the same size. You know what, because I want to conserve the environment, just make it a small and we’ll each have a slice. Just don’t make it look like my face, ha ha!... Are you okay? You sound tired… more than usual. You know what, just skip the pizza. Go ahead and take a rest.” He hangs up. “We won’t be getting a pizza.”

Simian clenches her fists and growls.

“It’s fine. I lost my appetite,” says Brown.

“It’s time to establish our pack hierarchy,” shouts Simian. “Nigel and I are the alphas.”

“How is that fair?” asks Corneille.

“It’s ‘cause they’re old,” says Rocky.

“Robinson, you’re undoubtedly the omega,” says Simian. “Steve, you’re the forager, Rhonda, you’re the bodyguard, Joan, you’re the babysitter, and,” she points at Mr. Corneille, “you also exist.”

“Babysitter of what?” asks the nurse. Simian points to Rocky.

“Aw, I’m always the baby…” he says. 

“So that’s how it is,” Corneille mutters. “I guess I’ll have to be a lone wolf. Besides, they’re our students. I can handle them.” 

“Mr. Corneille, no!” the nurse calls out. Corneille opens the door. Pandemonium ensues. Everyone is making noise and hurling themselves at the walls and ceiling. Gumball and Leslie are tickling each other and shrieking, Bobert is shooting lasers out of his eye and trying to fry Idaho, Darwin’s head is covered in paint and he’s leaving face prints on the walls while giggling, and Tobias and Banana Joe are dumping buckets of water on Masami, who grows bigger and bigger as the three of them cackle constantly. No one is quiet.

“Okay…” The frog slowly closes the door. “Never mind.” 

“WE’RE TRAPPED,” Brown moans, and collapses. Simian strokes his fur and mourns. 

“I don’t want to sleep in the file cabinet!” Small starts bawling. 

“Mom, Dad, I’m not gonna be coming home tonight,” Rocky says on the phone. 

“Goodbye world,” Coach groans monotonously.

“QUIET!!” Simian screams. “We must retain order in this perilous situation!” She brings out papers with instructions on them. “We have to remain quiet to avoid detection. If outside sounds increase then we must fall silent until the threat passes. In case of emergency, grab anything and everything as a weapon and hide under a hard object.”

Small whimpers and clutches onto Corneille, who pets him in an irritated manner. 

“As an alpha, I insist we DO order a pizza,” says Brown. He picks up the phone. “We would like to order a LARGE pizza, and-”

“COVER IT IN SO MUCH MEAT WE’LL BE CRYING LARD!!!” Simian screams. Brown takes the phone back. 

“Is it possible to deliver that directly to the Teacher’s Lounge? There’s a war going on and we don’t want to enter the battlefield.”

Larry sighs so loudly over the phone that everyone else can hear it. 

“Unfortunately, it won’t be here for 45 minutes,” Brown tells the others. A large bang on the door startles everyone. The sound of violent scratching and insane laughter comes from outside. The kids are right outside.

“What are we supposed to do now?!” says the fuzzy slug..

“Go out, lone wolf!” Simian commands.

“Sorry,” says Corneille. “Lone wolves don’t take pack orders.”

“I guess this means…” Small whimpers. “REMEMBER ME!!!”

“STEVE, NO!” Simian shouts. Small dives out the door and slams it shut. The other teachers hear his signature scream. 

“We’ve lost one of our own,” says Brown. “We CANNOT let our guard down.”

Larry enters the school to deliver the pizza, but he sees the screaming children now covered in white fluff and screams madly.

“This is getting ridiculous,” says the nurse. “Just let me look.” She looks through the window on the door. Penny has turned into a weasel and is devouring Colin’s insides. She lets out a psychotic hiss. 

“Everyone, enough!” Anais shouts. The teachers cross their fingers. “We’re taking this to the air force.” Her ears spin like propellors and she flies into the air, proving that she’s just like everyone else. Alan goes right up to the window, laughs maniacally, and explodes.

“How long have they been acting like this?” the nurse asks.

“Well…” says Rocky, triggering a flashback.

Gumball and Darwin are scarfing down some goo. 

“It’s good,” says Darwin, “but it’s a little bland.” Gumball puts some salt on his ‘food’ and takes another huge bite. His eyes dilate. 

“WOW, DARWIN!” he squeaks. “THIS IS REALLY GOOD! TRY IT!”

Darwin does. He has the same reaction.

“EVERYBODY TRY THIS FOOD!!!” they both scream. The other students gobble up the remains and snarf up the salt. They all start giggling and shaking, with a deranged look in their eyes.

“Mr. Robinson, did you really switch up the salt with the sugar?” the nurse sighs.

“No…” says Rocky. “I might have mixed it up with coffee powder.”

“...Never mind, I’ll just call an ambulance.”

A clan of doctors in hazmat suits run into the building, tackling the children. Eventually, the feral creatures are wrangled to the hospital, and the noise finally dies down.

Principal Brown smirks. “I told you we’d make it.”

Mr. Small, gravely injured, slowly drags himself across the floor and passes out.

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THANK YOU FOR READING, would love feedback!!

“Look Gumball!” says Darwin, looking at a poster on the school wall. “The prom!”

The lights dim and an eerie choir fills the air. Wind blows from inside.

IT’S THE PROM…

IT’S THE PROM…

BRING THE TREASURED ONE YOU LOVE…

STEP INTO THE SHADOW OF THE DANCE!!

YOU WILL SEE…

MAGIC THINGS…

THAT WILL COME INTO YOUR DREAMS AND HAUNT YOUR SLEEP…

IT’S THAT CERTAIN SEASON FOR ROMAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!

There’s a strike of lightning and Gumball and Darwin jerk around to find that the choir is just Principal Brown and Mr. Small. They sheepishly slink back into the teacher’s lounge. 

“It’s the prom!” Darwin says. “We could bring a date, and we could dance, and I would get to be with Carrie, and you could ask out Penny!”

“I could ask out Penny…” Gumball says in a ‘romantic’ voice. “Wait, I can’t ask out Penny. The girl asks the guy to the prom. Everyone knows that.”

“You’ve never asked her out?”

“Hahahahahahahaha!... nnnno.”

After class…

“You gotta be brave and ask Penny out!” Darwin says. “Sometimes the guy’s gotta make the first move.”

“Eh… I can’t see that ending well,” Gumball mutters.

“Well, you’re in luck, because I can give you dating advice! When I ask Carrie to the prom, I’m gonna do this!” His eyes are huge and sparkly, and flower petals magically surround him.

“I need to be cuter than puppies in hot chocolate!” Gumball states.

“YEAH!! …Actually, that doesn’t sound right,” says Darwin.

Gumball approaches Penny and tries to do what Darwin did..

“Hi Gumball,” Penny says, and pets him. Then she walks away.

“It’s not good enough…” Gumball croaks. It’s time to ask around.

“If you want to be loved, you have to love yourself,” says Alan. 

“Girls like people with egos,” Gumball translates, and writes it down on a notepad.

“Um, no. What I meant was-”

“Thanks Alan!”

“Need advice?” Tobias slides in. “I’m the ultimate chick magnet. Hey gurl,” he quips to Masami, who strikes him with lightning. Gumball shrugs and walks away. 

“You should use like, some super romantic pickup line,” says Sarah. “Like,” her voice deepens, “when I need to travel, I just look in your eyes, because I see the whole galaxy, and my favorite planet is Venus because it’s the goddess of love!!”

Gumball writes all of this down intently. 

“Oh, uh,” says Ocho, blushing, “make sure to back them into a corner before you go for the kiss. That way they can’t escape.”

Gumball looks at his notes. It’s good, but he needs more. 

“The number one rule is,” Teri says, “don’t kiss them, hug them, hold their hand, or touch them in any way, shape, or form! You know the average girlfriend has more germs than a toilet seat.”

“Okay…” Gumball crosses out Ocho’s advice and writes this instead.

“Isn’t it kinda inappropriate to ask your principal for dating advice?” Darwin asks.

“I need all the help I can get,” Gumball explains. 

“Now, one one hand, it is obscene for me to be giving romantic advice to a child,” says Brown, “but on the other hand, it’s all in the movements. Observe-” He jumps from his chair and starts doing bird-of-paradise dances and screaming. 

“Come with me if you want to live!” says Mr. Small.

He drags Gumball to his office.

“To be successful, all you need is the perfect word.”

“Okay… what’s the word?”

Small checks his word-of-the-day calendar. “The word of the day is ‘scour’, meaning to search for something tirelessly, in this case, LOVE!”

Gumball pops into Mr. Corneille’s class.

“Don’t watch the mouth,” the man says. “Watch the eyes.”

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t listen to what she says,” he clarifies. “The real conversation is in the retina.”

“Ignore everything that she says and make direct eye contact,” Gumball writes. “Got it!”

“Whatcha got on the notes?” Darwin asks.

“I have all the rules for successfully asking Penny to the prom!” He shows Darwin the list. 

“That’s terrible!” says Darwin. 

“Relax, buddy! I know Penny. And I’m gonna make this perfect,” Gumball reassures.

Back home, Anais walks in on Gumball making hideous faces in the mirror.

She sighs. “Are you having a stroke?”

Gumball scoffs. “No, I’m practicing asking Penny on a date. You’re too young to understand love!”

“I know it isn’t that.”

Gumball takes some deep breaths. “I can do this,” he says to himself. 

The next day, Gumball is dressed up in a miniature tux, staring at Penny from a corner. He starts sweating heavily, as if their whole relationship relies on this.

“Hey… Penny?” he asks nervously. Penny looks at him with an expectant grin. She knows he’s going to ask her out for the prom. Gumball takes a deep breath.

“Hey gurl,” he says in a grotesque voice. Hectic music fills the air and Gumball starts doing this horrendous chicken dance. He runs in place, claps his hands, and hoots. He starts waving his butt in a suggestive fashion. Penny is disturbed. 

“I wobble for you,” he says in his creepy voice.. “It helps me SCOUR for love.”

Penny starts backing away, but Gumball extends his eyes so they’re nearly touching hers. 

“GUMBALL??” Penny shouts. 

“I’m so cool that I give volcanoes frostbite!” he squeaks, tap-dancing. He chases her into a corner and she screams in horror. 

“Venus was the goddess of travel,” he says in a low voice, “but I was the goddess of your galaxy…” He encroaches, coming closer, and closer… 

“YES! That’s everything on the list!” he shouts proudly. “May I be your date for the prom?”

“Wow,” Penny snorts. “That was your… promposal?”

“Yep!” Gumball says with a grin. Darwin gives him a thumbs-up and a wink. Penny bursts out laughing. 

“That was… pretty terrifying,” Penny admits. “I’ve already told you, you don’t need a big scary romantic gesture to prove our love.” She kisses him on the cheek. “I’d always say yes.”

She walks away, and Gumball melts into a puddle.

“Maybe you’ve learned a lesson in all this!” says Darwin.

“Yeah,” Gumball mutters weakly, “the advice totally worked.”

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Basically The Promposal reversed and less intense - I wrote the first draft years before that came out lol

THANKS FOR READING, would love feedback!

Gumball, Darwin, and Sarah are laughing at pictures in an outdated yearbook. They want to show Sarah what school was like before she came to Elmore Junior High.

“Look at the shape of your eyes!” Darwin giggles, pointing at a photo of Season 1 Gumball. 

“Now that I think about it, Banana Joe looks really weird without eyebrows,” says Gumball. 

“Your designs seem to be really inconsistent!” says Sarah. 

“What do you mean?” Darwin asks. 

“You know, that is kinda weird,” says Gumball. “I mean, this picture was only from a few years ago…” 

Gumball brings out a picture of him and his friends in kindergarten.

“But look at him here!” he says. “He has eyebrows as a toddler!”

“You’re right,” says Darwin. “And remember when Hot Dog Guy said he wore a wig?”

“Yeah… he- wait the what?? You weren’t there for that!”

“I know, which is why it’s weird I remember!”

“A lot of people die every day and then reappear with no consequences…” says Sarah. 

“Yeah, I remember dying five times in one day and I was still fine!” says Gumball. 

“The continuity is getting all messed up!”

“What are we gonna do?” Darwin recites his catchphrase. 

“We have to SAVE THE WORLD!” Sarah shouts heroically. “Ooh, I’ve never been the protagonist before!”

“We will follow you to the ends of the earth!!” Darwin shouts.

“Aw, being the sidekick is boring,” Gumball groans. 

CASE 1: THE GRANDFATHER

Sarah brings out her phone and plays an episode clip.

“Well, your grandfather lived to be 102,” Nicole explains in “The End”. 

“Grandpa Frankie, Grandpa Louie, Grandpa Daniel… yep, they’re all alive,” says Gumball. “Did I have a FOURTH GRANDPA NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT??”

“Let’s face Mrs. Mom!” Darwin announces. “For… some reason.”

Nicole is busy working when Gumball and Darwin suddenly show up on her computer screen. She yelps.

“MOM! EXPLAIN SOMETHING! WHERE’S THE FOURTH GRANDPA??” Gumball shouts.

“Uh… I think whoever he is, he’s underground,” Darwin corrects.

“What are you talking about, I’m CLEARLY busy!!” Nicole snaps.

“You know! The one that lived to be 102??” Gumball clarifies.

“Gumball, that was my grandfather.”

“Caught in a lie!” Sarah whispers, writing something down.

CASE 2: LONELY TEARS

In the next episode clip, Sarah switches between two scenes: one where Clare talks about writing in her diary with her tears as ink, and another claiming she doesn’t have a diary at all.

“Liar liar…” Gumball whispers.

“Hair on fire!!” Darwin shouts.

“It… it’s pants.”

“What pants?”

“Pants on fire. Hair seems worse.”

“But lying is wrong!”

As they continue to argue, Sarah sneaks off to find Clare and put her to justice. She suddenly tackles her and pins her against the wall!

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH CHU?!?” she screams.

“We KNOW you have a diary!” Sarah snaps. 

“What are you TALKING about.”

Sarah shows her the inconsistency.

“I DID have a diary. It was STOLEN!”

Gumball and Darwin, who have appeared, gasp loudly.

“UGH! All my embarrassing secrets were in there. And I NEVER FOUND WHO TOOK IT! So I started telling my problems to Jared instead, because what else is he there for?”

“This wasn’t a lie…” Sarah gasps. “It was a CRIME!”

CASE 3: WATERPROOF ROBOT

“Here’s a photo of Bobert running a race in the rain,” says Gumball. “And watch this!” He pours a glass of water on the nearby Bobert, who short-circuits and explodes.

“EXPLAIN YOURSELF!” Sarah shouts.

“I don’t think he can,” says Darwin. “He kinda just exploded.”

“Oh. Let’s ask the Bobert store about it then,” Gumball suggests.

“I have a better idea!” says Sarah. 

“Welcome to Character Discontinuity ‘n Stuff!” says Larry in a brand-new store. “How can I help you today?”

“DECODE THIS ROBOT,” Sarah says menacingly. Larry takes Bobert to a back room, messes around a bit, then comes back.

“He’s a Bobert 6B with no visible damage,” he says. “You should probably take him to the store where he came from.” Gumball does an obnoxious ‘I Told You So’ dance. 

“Still unsolved…” Sarah writes down suspiciously.

CASE 4: DARWIN

Once the school day is over, Sarah helps them dig through the attic.

“What the heck is this picture of you getting me for Christmas??” Darwin asks.

“I don’t know!” Gumball replies. “We all know Mom and Dad got you to make me shut up as a toddler! We gotta fix this.”

“Welcome to Character Discontinuity ‘n Stuff!” says Larry. “How can I help you today?

Gumball and Darwin angrily scream over top of each other. 

“Uh-huh… Well, the only way to fix that is to either remove him from the storyline, or-”

“Second option,” says Darwin.

“Okay…” says Larry. He heads into a back room and messes around with some buttons and levers. Another Darwin appears out of thin air!

“Hi! I’m New Darwin! You got me for Christmas so I’m full of holiday cheer!” says the other Darwin.

“What the what?!” Gumball shouts.

“Well, we have to make sure there’s continuity!!” says Sarah. 

CASE 5: A CAFETERIA MISUNDERSTANDING

“This is our biggest case yet,” says Sarah. Sarah presses a button on her phone to show Gumball, Darwin, and New Darwin a video.

Juke, Leslie, Gumball, and Darwin are in line for food. Rocky gives food to Juke. “Next!” he says.

“So… last night, huh? Things got a little…” Gumball hisses. “Well, you were there.”

“Next!” Rocky calls after giving Leslie his food.

“But seriously, it’s good that we’re back to normal now. Same… you know… dynamic? Right?”

“Next!” Rocky calls after giving Leslie his food.

“I meant what I said,” says Darwin. 

“What are ya having?” Rocky asks Gumball.

“I don’t get what the problem is,” says Gumball after watching the video.

Sarah shoves the device in Gumball’s face. “HE GAVE LESLIE THE FOOD TWICE!!!!”

“Come on,” says Darwin. “That’s just a simple editing mistake! It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It means he’s getting more FOOD than us!!!” Sarah shrieks.

“Christmas is a time for sharing!” says New Darwin.

“There is only one solution to this.”

Gumball, Darwin, New Darwin, and Sarah are carrying a squirming bag.

“I think this might be a little too far,” says Gumball. 

“Welcome to Character Discontinuity ‘n Stuff!” says Larry. “How can I help you today?”

“Teach this flower a lesson,” says Sarah, menacingly putting the bag on the table. “A lesson in CONTINUITY!!!”

“Don’t do it!” Leslie muffles.

“I see…” says Larry. “There is a simple solution for this!” 

“Milk and cookies?” New Darwin asks.

“No, I called the police.”

“How did you even get these videos anyway?” Gumball asks Sarah as the kids are dragged away in handcuffs.

“I think you know!” Sarah winks.

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Told you I didn't abandon it!!