A lot of the time I really wish being in the 🍵🌊🌊 wasn't seen as a huge deal to everyone because this is the only place Ive ever felt truly welcomed. Ive lived my entire life trying so desperately to fit into places that I just can't, always too different, too weird, too normal, too obnoxious, too quiet, but its like I log onto Tumblr and it doesnt matter. The version of myself that I show on here is one of the truest versions of me, but I know if I tried to express it to anyone I know in real life, they wouldnt see me for me, but for my interests. I would be demoted to an awful person, a mentally ill teenager that needs help, or some other easy little title to shove on me rather than being seen for the person I am. Its so weird. Sometimes I regret ever joining this community, because it allows me to see the darkness I usually keep pushed down inside me, yet at the same time Im more grateful for it than anything for giving me a place to show who I really am without judgement. Its like everyone here, no matter how different shares this one thing, and its so beautiful to me, that understanding that all of us are at least a little fucked in the head, but that its okay. I feel so at home in a way Ive never felt before and I wish I could bring that feeling to real life, rather than keeping it contained to an app on my phone. gahhhhhhh <//3
