#tbmsfic

I illustrated a scene from my Shoker longfic. You can find it on Ao3 and also FFnet but Ao3 has nicer formatting. N E WAYZ enjoy

“I just wish we all had a chance to do things like that more often. I know Tali wants to go places other than the Main Battery and the Engine Room sometimes.” “Anywhere you have in mind?” asked Shepard. “I… want to take her to the physical set where the Fleet and Flotilla series is shot. She’s crazy about that show,” he said as his mandibles flexed with a laugh. “I wasn’t sure about the vid, but the series is alright. I figure I could name drop you and get her and I up there… With everything going on, who knows how long it’ll be around for.” “You gonna do the pose?” she asked with a grin. “Tell me you’re going to do the pose and get someone to take a Holo.” “Are you volunteering?” he asked. “It would be easier to name drop you if you were actually there.” “I don’t think you want me as your third wheel, Garrus,” she laughed. “Bring Joker.” Shepard just smiled, closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’ve never seen Tali’s face before, but somehow I can imagine exactly what expression she’d pull.” “I’ll tell you something you apparently didn’t know about Joker,” he said. “He’s a fan.” “Of Fleet and Flotilla?” Shepard covered her smile of disbelief. “When we first started playing poker down here, those two would sit next to each other and make constant in-jokes about it. It got so annoying that I watched the whole thing just so that I could understand what they were saying.” His rasping laughter made Shepard’s stiff shoulders relax and her aching leg somehow not hurt as bad. “Then I ended up enjoying it.”

I finished my seven page long graphic novel adaptation of part of TBMS’ Chapter 13 last night. Instead of feeling a sense of pride or accomplishment, I instead feel anxious and a little bit empty. This is new for me. Throughout my career as an artist I have finished hundreds of works, and always felt glad when I finished them, but not so here. A friend explained to me that it was ‘the emptiness of giving a gift to onesself.’ I’ve drawn lots of silly things for myself before... but this time it just hits different, I guess. It was Sunday today in the small town where I live, so everything closes at 5. No one was out on the streets, which were slick with rain and I went for a short walk in the cold. I had hoped to find somewhere open that I could buy some takeout, but everything was shuttered, and everything else has closed down more permanently because of the pandemic. My walk was fruitless and restless, which is different for me. Usually I am full of ideas when walking; I think best when moving and listening to music. When I came home, I went and opened up Chapter 15 (the recent one in progress) and couldn’t focus even on reading what I’d written. I went through my story’s arc notes and saw that I’m coming relatively close to the end. By that, I mean the end of the Mass Effect 2′s era. I have ideas for where I want to go in ME3, and even some sketchy loose things for post-war. But the thought fills me with anxiety and dread. The thought of drawing close to the end of TBMS fills me with genuine apprehension and sadness. I closed my story, and went to sleep for a few hours to try and reset my brain but I’ve woken up feeling mostly the same. A little better, perhaps, but not so different that I haven’t just sat here staring at a screen for hours without doing anything remotely interesting. What a stupid reason to be sad. Me: I worked really hard and made an art Me:  Me: :(

I think I would very much like to live in a gentle, nice moment with my characters for a little while, but I am terrible at coming up with ideas for such. I don’t know if it’s bad form to ask for prompts out of the blue like so, but if you read my fic or know my characters or just have a nice, probably sort of romantic moment you could give me an idea for to write, I’d appreciate it.

3. “You are the most fearless and loyal man I ever met, you know just what to say to keep me sane when you need to, and what to say to drive me crazy when you want to.” “... Uh, you’re not so bad yourself.” 4. “Bailoker? Jokailie? Um... Ah, how about Baileff, because it’s almost a word?” “Heh. Jebailie, because it’s almost a meme.” 5. When not at work, they just generally like being around each other. They’ve been known to watch old vids together, and it’s a somewhat secret desire of Jeff’s that they will fly something together, someday. Bailie is bad at relaxing although she tries not realising that ‘trying’ is antithetical to relaxing, and Jeff is all about it - just comes naturally to him. They do a lot of things apart from each other by necessity, but when the day is done, they love to come together to talk about it.  6. Bailie’s love language is direct, tempered by seemingly endless founts of patience and a willingness not only to listen, but to move heaven and earth to accommodate. She is all about giving the unscheduled, unexpected gift that she will have thought for hours about. Her love language is often literally language as well; she composes haiku to help her slow down and analyse her thoughts, although it’s rare that she shares one. If she does, it’s something she considers important, and an exercise of trust. Bailie goes out of her way to give gestures and go the extra mile for anyone she cares about -- in a romantic context this goes a hundredfold. For emotional and sensory reasons she’s not a particularly touchy-feely person under most circumstances, even with close friends, but is absolutely a real cuddler for the right person and craves their touch. Jeff’s is similar in some ways, but crucially different in that his is distinctly indirect. He will say or do something nice... then downplay it, or say it was actually for another purpose altogether, not just the one that benefits you, you know. It’s fine, don’t get excited about it or whatever. In fact, just forget about it. Don’t forget that I’m great, though, because I totally am. But forget about the thing I said or did. He is very keenly observant and naturally very empathetic, something he has defense mechanisms to cover for in other situations. This natural empathy makes him an intuitive and active listener, in stark contrast to other aspects of his daily life. He maintains lists of music and media that remind him of people he cares about, his longest list being one titled “Def Sheppard.” His love language can also get quite physical in the right contexts, because for him, physicality involves a lot of trust. He’s a cuddler too, is what I’m saying. Very privately, he is a complete and utter sap. A total, desperate, hopeless romantic. But you didn’t hear it from me. 7. See the entirety of my fic... I’m exhausted lmao I’m literally going to bed 8. Bailie’s first impressions of Jeff were of a confusingly scruffy, standoffish and somewhat macho helmsman -- Kinda typical for pilots, really, save for the scruffy bit. That was unusual. Still, every pilot is preening in their own unique way. She had a feeling about him, and the more she listened, the more she liked. Also when he turned around in his seat to speak to her, the light caught him a very particular way and, he was actually pretty handsome... if scruffy. His first impressions of her were mostly her looks, if he’s honest with himself. Not many women in the Alliance just waltz around with their hair all shaved off, that’s for sure. A bit weird, but it made her eyes really really stand out though. Nice to look at... But just another in a long line of superior officers with something to prove who’d probably figure he had something to prove to them, too. Especially when the time came to look in his file... which she would... because they all did...

So uh, yeah Bailie is hot and I will fight anyone who says otherwise OK back to the other panels