#tbfs

ziggy can’t sleep without a nightlight on. he probably has one that’s dinosaur shaped or some shit … one of the cheap types that runs off double A’s for at least twenty minutes before fucking exploding. maybe its shaped like a little drum or whatever.

he has a thing for sci-fi horror movies. the guy will sit and binge shit like cloverfield or the alien franchise for hours upon hours without moving an inch. his bandmates would have to pry him off the couch in order to get his ass moving. too far gone in the autism blunt rotation.

definitely owns a glittery diary with a gel pen to write with. do i need to explain this? he’s a faggot. he starts off with ‘dear dairy’ and starts freestyling.

he doesn’t know how to use an oven. that man lives off of canned tuna and cinnamon crackers. the occasional chicken bone would suffice. he fucking gnaws on that shit. the times where he does use an oven, he most likely gives his friends salmonella by putting meat in for fifteen or so seconds. he doesn’t know how to change it from seconds to minutes.

either has a great fashion sense or an absolutely horrendous one. ziggy would have the zestiest stage outfits, then change into an eyestrain ‘how to spot a gamer’ shirt that’d give an orphan from the victorian era an aneurysm. on that note, maybe he’d have a comically large ps4 controller as a nightlight instead.

he uses the most outrageous shampoos. three-in-one dorito scented conditioner, spongebob shampoo, minecraft creeper body wash, ect. you name it, he’s got it. he gets really defensive over them and writes his name on all the bottles, oblivious to the fact that it’ll get washed away each time he takes a shower.

(This is my first AHIT Fanfiction! So far i'm having a lot of fun writing again. As it's been awhile. I hope I'm doing well with it! And look, I did that fanfiction idea! Oh! And that cover art is mine!)

Chapter 1: Vacation time!

Hat Kid swiveled in her little chair. Scanning the galaxy. It's barren expanse sneering back. When she was younger her dreams consisted of only the hope to see the stars. She didn't ever think of what would happen when she got there. But she never imagined it like this. It never seemed good enough. Hat Kid deeply longed for some change.

There was no fun among the stars. Sure, it was pretty. Many people would dream of seeing it for themselves (just like she had herself), but now this was a daily occurrence. Like waiting for ages to see a movie, loving it, and then not wanting to see it again. There was not going to be any surprises. You'd know what was about to happen. It was always going to be that way. Nothing ever changed in the movie. A set pathway, much like fate and time.

She didn't realize how much she needed that mafia to break open her window. She had really needed the thrill. It had been 6 whole months since that happened. 4 and a half since she was last on the planet when dealing with the Nyakuza. Which she still regarded as one of her most exciting adventures.

At this point she felt terrible for not returning. She didn't even bother to visit! Who did that!? Her bestest best friends where down there. She didn't even send a card! Space mail existed, though she didn't think the planet had a proper postal code. But even if! She usually went by the planet! How could one day really put her off schedule? Did the job or schedule mean that much?! Hat Kid sighed after her little rant. They may have tried to kill her at one point, but that's what friends do!

She wasn't without reason though. Hat Kid did have a job to do. As a professional space explorer, her job was to visit the outer rim and find new life. After mapping and exploring a few planets, she'd return with her data and relics and then head back to where she left off. . . Which always would go by the plant. Aug!

But this time was different! Hat Kid was on vacation! She could actually go and have fun again! And oh boy did she know where she'd go! Hat Kid pressed a few buttons on her control panel and set the coordinates.

"MAFIA TOWN HERE I COME!" The excited child shouted with glee.

This would be the best vacation yet! She was sure of it! Arepping the ship, Hat Kid pushed it into fill throtal. The engine humming as it blasted into hyper speed. The little alien smiled and jumped off her captians chair. Running to the telescope she used when she first went to Mafia Town. Adrenaline rushing at the thought of seeing everyone again.

Finally! After three whole hours of bouncing up and down, coming up with things to do, and thinking of what she'd say as an apology for her unceremonious departure , the ship halted. It was finally time! Hat Kid pounced at the telescope. So excited she hit her head by accident. HK stumbled and rubbed the spot where it hit her. Quite mad that she couldn't hold in her energy. The alien teleported down to the planet. Down to exactly where she first arrived on the planet. The streets of Mafia Town!

The kids nose picked up on the scent of warm garbage. Jeez, they never cleaned did they? Not only that, she caught dirt on her shirt! C'mon! She'd have to clean that later. Hat Kid acrually forgot how gross this place could be. The small child jogged into town. Desperate to get out of that alley way and to the slightly cleaner street.

She saw Mafia going about their days as usual. A few waving to her as she passed. One offering a game of patty cake. Though Hat Kid wasn't falling for that again! Another Mafia with funny sunglasses was freaking out after the sudden appearance of her space ship.

"Oi, what are YOU doing back here?" Stammered a voice from above. A hint of annoyance in its tone.

Hat Kid smiled. A girl in a read hood lept down from her perch. Standing in front of Hat Kid, the girl looked a bit upset. Super tired too, it seemed. Bags forming under her eyes.

"Did I miss much?" The little hatted child asked in concern. Her "friend", Mustache Girl, wasn't as happy as she hoped.

"Oh a fair bit! You missed everything!" The mustached menace cried "That blasted Mafia Boss disappeared! And the Mafia are growing in numbers! Yet somehow there even better at thwarting me!" Mustache Girl's temper and frustration flaring. Her voice speeding up into a ramble. It was Hat Kid's fault she didn't stop all the bad guys!

Somehow the Mafia where getting MORE coordinated. And less would dissappear when visiting other places on the planet! Mustache Girl couldn't help but wonder what they where doing. They weren't even doing anything differently! They hadn't been getting any smarter. Was she doing something wrong? This little hatted hourglass hoarder probably knew everything!

"It's not like you helped! You where probably in on it weren't you?! You barely help with anything!!" Mustache Girl shouted.

That was a tad hurtful for the first few minutes back, Hat Kid thought.

"Is Cooking Cat still around?" She pondered.

"Who?" Mustache Girl asked quizzically.

"I guess not." HK responded, not worried. "I'll see you later friend!" She beamed. Getting a grunt in response. With that, she teleported back to base.

Though confused, Hat Kid wasn't very scared. Weirder things could have happen. The Mafia Boss was still in a jar, and for all anyone knew he was only misplaced. So it's not like she had much to worry about. Even if he had somehow found a way to "fix the Mafia". She also wasn't worried for Cooking Cat. Who's cooking know how could probably end entire wars!

Hat Kid ran to the Machine Room next. Missing the rumbustious Conductor and the quixotic DJ! She was sure they'd miss her too. They always seemed to like having her around, even if The Conductor tried to stab her. Maybe they would allow her to star in movies again! Readying her trusty telescope, she was off once more. To DEAD BIRD STUDIOS!

fucking stupid video i made for my friend

@funkyparasites … also @dogslaught @bloodsplinters @yourmusicisgarbage i GUESS… punches you individually with all of my fingers

😓