#tanach

5:11 "And you shall moan when your end comes, when your flesh and your body are consumed." Right okay, that's certainly not about sex.

6:3 "For you have come into your fellow's palm." Some might say that's really hot.

6:21 "Bind them always upon your heart, tie them upon your neck." Sounds kinda bondagey.

6:34 "For jealousy [shall arouse] the husband" Okay I admit this one is a stretch because it's actually "the husband's wrath" but you can't put "shall arouse" in brackets and expect me to overlook it.

7:6-13 (selected text) "For from the window of my house, through my lattice I gazed.. a lad... the nakedness of a harlot... She takes hold of him and kisses him." Yep that's definitely voyeurism. Even if you're watching just to warn your son away from the harlot.

10:32 "The lips of a righteous man know how to please" Hell yeah they do.

11:9 "With his mouth, the flatterer destroys his neighbor" The neighbor isn't a man, are they? Are they??

11:17 "troubles his own flesh" I can see this in a fanfic for sure.

13:19 "A desire fulfilled pleases the soul" Post-sex bliss?

14:14 "The one with an impure heart shall have his feel from his ways, and above him is a good man." Ketuvim Sutra

23:34 "like one lying on the top of a mast" Can we talk about why the world is obsessed with substituting every remotely phallic object instead of just calling a dick a dick?

24:26 "Lips should kiss him" Yes, they should! He deserves to be kissed!

26:22 "penetrate the innermost parts of the body" Okay this is full-on erotica now.

27:6 "Wounds of a lover are faithful" Hickey?

27:9 "and the sweet words of his friend" Right, his friend.

27:14 "He who blesses his friend in a loud voice early every morning" Oh is that what they're calling it these days?

27:16 "the oil of his right hand" Never underestimate the importance of lube.

27:19 "As in water, face answers to face, so is the heart of a man to a man". Tell me that's not gay.

27:20 "and the eyes of man will not be sated" Dude, stop ogling.

28:22 "and he does not know that want will come upon him" Sometimes that lust hits you like a train, doesn't it?

29:15 "A rod and reproof give wisdom" This sounds like a degradation kink.

29:17 "and he will grant pleasures to your soul" I think it's a different body part he's planning to grant pleasures to. (Let's pretend the first part of this isn't talking about fathers and sons.)

31:8 "Open your mouth... and plead the cause of... the needy." Is this what they mean when they say someone's begging for it?