#talkingcauliflower

i'm half dead because I haven't been sleeping these past few life-times so i'm sorry if today's blog post is more ranty than usual. My usual filter kind of shuts down when I'm exhausted. Either way, hello.

I've finished packing, if anyone's curious, and my entire room is empty now. I don't think it's hit me yet. I haven't cried yet. Not even when I was choosing which of my precious valuables to keep. I'm just glad I've got all that crap over and done with.

When you're packing, you encounter nostalgia head on. I realized that I kept so many things that my ex left behind that I'm starting to wonder about my mental state. I mean, I kept a year old envelope that once held a now lost letter. How fucking ridiculous is that?

I keep telling myself that I'm over him, but I'm not very sure. Sure, it doesn't hurt anymore. It's been six months and I don't feel sad every day anymore. Maybe I need to get laid.

On that subject, I've turned into a shallow bitch. I'm on at least three different dating sites and I don't even talk to guys I have no physical attraction to. And those who are my type don't even come close to my ex. All I can do is compare them to him. Any of my Void people have advice for that? It's freaking annoying.

I might take a nap now. I just wanted to give a quick update on my current situation. When I go to my new home, I'll post a before and after blog of my first plane trip. It's going to be so much fun (insert terrified sarcasm here).

Well, I love y'all. I hope everyone is having a great summer and a great life.

To my beloved Lucy, you’re a light in the shithole I call my life. I pray I write a play with you in it someday.

Enough of that though. I have been having a dramtastic last two weeks of the end of school. It started with my ex’s grandmother death and me breaking down for a long while. She meant the world to me.

My ex is still avoiding me, the bastard. But I have a fantastic man back in my life. Unfortunately, he’s not single. I’m starting to think this a trend. I feel attracted to men I cannot obtain. What even is that bullshit?

Also my best guy friend, Jon, is going into surgery pretty soon. Being the worrywart I am, I’m constantly worried about him. Jon is one of the greatest people I’ve met.

I’m sure everyone wants to hear some good news so, I’m a level 17 Redguard in Skyrim!! Yay! My happiness is based off a video game!

But honestly, I’m pretty happy right now. Well, as happy as the world let’s me. I promise to update more during the summer. Ill be heading to Florida and working on the while trans thing.

I love y’all to death.