#takashibennett

Mahal Ko,

I love you. I want you, but I don't need you. Need eliminates choice, need creates obligation, and I don't want that for us. I want you, I choose you, and I am free to do so. You are also free, and you can choose every single day where you want to put your love. You don't need me either, and for that, I am grateful. I want us to choose each other every day

I see you. I feel you. I love you.

-E

They finished their bowls. Tak felt like he hadn't eaten in forever, which was somewhat true. He hadn't been able to stomach much more than a protein shake for the past few days, he had been so tightly wound with his thoughts about Emory. Tak even ate the noodles Emory hadn’t finished. Tak walked Emory to the library and they made plans to hang out at Tak’s on Saturday, ostensibly to study, but both of them had ulterior motives. Before they rounded the corner to the library entrance, Emory yanked Tak by the wrist into an alcove between the concrete edifice and some bougainvillea. Once secluded, Emory pinned Tak to the wall with a fiery glint in his eyes.

“Hey, boyfriend?” he smirked.

“Yeah?” Tak smirked back.

“Can I kiss you?” Emory grinned. Tak nodded and sunk lower, bending his knees to slide his back down the wall. Emory ran his thumb over Tak’s bottom lip, his other hand on Tak’s shoulder. Tak gripped Emory’s hips, grazing the skin above his belt as his fingers crept under the hoodie.

“Your fucking hands are cold!” Emory hissed.

“That's why I put them in here, duh,” Tak grinned stupidly. He was so, so hopelessly smitten.

“Jesus, they're fucking freezing,” Emory laughed as he leaned in to kiss Tak, this time not worried about being seen. Tak giggled, but was cut off by Emory’s mouth on his. The fullness of Emory’s lips were intoxicating, his warm body bringing feeling back into Tak’s cold hands. Emory turned out to be an excellent kisser, and, while Tak was by no means passive, he found himself letting Emory take the lead. Pressed into the wall, he allowed Emory to suck at his bottom lip, graze his teeth over Tak’s jaw and chin, and breathe hot sighs into Tak’s ear as he nibbled at the lobe and the spot where Tak’s shoulder and neck met. Tak gasped as Emory pressed a thick thigh between his legs, leaning his body weight against Tak’s growing erection. A low rumble, halfway between a growl and a laugh emanated from Emory’s throat, followed by a quick and not-at-all gentle nip at Tak’s neck. Tak couldn't help himself and gasped again, his body jerking with a quick shudder.

“Fuck, Emory,” Tak whispered. He had wanted to kiss him since that first day in statistics, but he had not been prepared for this. Emory, for all his quietness, was loud with his touch.

“I’m sorry, was that not ok? You’d tell me to stop if it wasn't, wouldn’t you?” Emory withdrew his

mouth, but kept his body pressed close to Tak.

Tak spoke breathlessly, pupils wide as saucers, “Yeah, it’s good. I’ll tell you if its not, promise.”

“What, then?” Emory quirked his lips.

“I'm just so surprised. Everything about you is surprising. I had no idea.” Tak nuzzled his face into Emory’s shoulder.

“It's always the quiet ones, didn’t you know?” Emory laughed. He reached for Tak’s chin and tilted it for a better angle to kiss him again. Emory felt himself wanting to burn the library to the ground so he wouldn't have to go inside for study group. Pressed against Tak, he felt self-control rapidly slipping away and hoped that, if Tak realized how much power he held over Emory’s will, he wouldn't use it to ruin him, because it wouldn't take much doing at all. How could this beautiful man, so tall and so strong and so fine, be kissing him, touching him? At some point this would surely come crashing down. Tak would eventually realize how much better he could do than Emory. He decided that, until that time came, he would allow himself to have this.

A rude buzz sounded from Emory’s hoodie pocket. He groaned.

“Ugh. It’s Colin Ho.” Tak snorted at this while Emory typed a furious reply. “He’s bitching because I’m late. I better go. I’ll text you later?” He pressed another quick kiss to Tak’s mouth before grabbing his bag and pulling the straps over his shoulders. “I really don't want to go, but zoology is my most important class.”

“Yeah,” Tak sighed. “I'm not trying to get you in trouble. I’ll see you Saturday.”

“Ok. Later.” Emory snuck in one final kiss.

“Bye, boyfriend,” Tak smiled, from where he was still leaning on the library wall.

“You know what else your sister told me while you were gone earlier?”  Emory teased, still stroking, staring at Tak. “She said you’re stupid for me. She told me you talk about me all the time.”

 “Well, she isn't wrong... I’ve never talked about anyone else with her before. No one else was worth mentioning.” Tak blushed, climbing into bed beside Emory. Emory quirked an eyebrow incredulously. 

“Never ever?”

 “Never ever.”

“Why me then?” Emory asked, his heart in his throat.

“‘Cuz I'm stupid for you, like she said.” Tak was bashful. “I think about you all the time when you're not around. That, and... You make me feel safe, and... like, stuff...” he trailed off. Emory sat stunned, dirty thoughts suddenly distant as his throat went dry, his tongue thickening in his mouth. He had the distinct and terrifying feeling that he was about to say something that he couldn’t take back. He thought of toothpaste, words coiling out, never to be returned to the tube. His pulse raced and he felt lightheaded. He looked at Tak, whose recently lustful gaze had softened into one of sincerity. Emory didn't know what to do, so he was relieved when Tak spoke again.“Em, babe,” Tak took his hand, smoothing a thumb over Emory’s knuckles. “I’m sprung like a motherfucker. It’s bad. I know what it is, if I'm being honest with myself... I'm so fucked,” Tak sighed, then, in true Tak form, blurted out, “I’m in love with you, Emory.” Tak rested his forehead against the heel of his hand. Emory noticed he was shaking ever so slightly. Emory’s heart leapt at hearing Tak’s confession.  He swallowed hard and his heart spun. This was happening like an ocean liner crashing into an iceberg, slow and inevitable and terrifying. Though his heart had leapt at hearing Tak confess, Emory still had to clear the hurdle of his own confession.

 “Tak, you know how sometimes I call you Mahal Ko?” Tak nodded, a subtle smile on his lips. Emory took one last deep breath and went for it, “Mahal Ko means ‘My Love.’ I've been calling you My Love for weeks. I’m scared shitless... I fuckin’ love you too, Tak.”  

“I know you do,” Tak whispered, climbing onto Emory’s lap and kissing him deeply.  He pressed his forehead to Emory’s and sighed, “I love you, Emory.” 

Tak appeared with a towel around his waist, his phone emitting the swells and drops of hard trance, smoke from the blunt in his hand drifting swirls from his mouth. Emory accepted the blunt and took just a small puff, wanting to be present for this connection. He passed it back to Tak and tugged the towel off, releasing a rubbery erection that swung quite near his face. Tak smirked down at Emory as he took another puff.

“Can I put this in my mouth?” Emory asked, his hand already encircling Tak at the base of his cock. Tak nodded slowly, a smile on his lips as he leaned to set the blunt in a mint tin on the bedside table. As Emory took Tak into his mouth, Tak reached into Emory’s hair, winding long fingers into the silky threads, gripping close to the scalp just for a moment before rubbing gently with his fingertips. Emory gave a low hum with Tak in his mouth, and Tak dug nails into Emory’s shoulders and edged forward, aching to be taken deeper. Emory grasped Tak’s hips and pulled him into his throat with a groan. He paid careful attention to every hitched breath or jerk of Tak’s hips. He brought Tak dangerously close to coming, then backed off, removing his mouth and using only his hand, a looser grip, a slower stroke. When the tension melted, Emory took him deep into his mouth again, working a twist into the strokes with his hand, grazing his fingertips lightly over Tak’s balls.

Tak, blunted and idiotic with lust, stood on legs he couldn't feel anymore. He couldn't feel anything but Emory’s mouth on him. The entire universe around him had vanished and it was just this moment in time, looking down the planes of his stomach to watch his cock disappear into the rhythmic motion of Emory’s mouth. Emory’s eyes flicked up and locked on Tak’s, simmering, watering in the corners from the effort of work he was doing. Tak felt as though he were falling into a warm ocean, capsized and doomed to sink to the bottom where he would gladly greet death if it meant he could have this moment forever Through the fog of pleasure, a thought slammed into him I want this always. I want him always. Tak realized it was true. The nagging idea in the background of his mind these last weeks was bubbling to the surface, impractical and inconvenient, but undeniable. He was so completely in love with Emory.

Emory crept his right hand along the V-shaped crease on Tak’s hip, then up to his stomach and chest, all the while still pumping his other hand and mouth on Tak’s cock. His right hand reached Tak’s lips and two fingers slid into his mouth where Tak sucked on them as he moaned.

Fingers now slick, Emory caressed Tak’s firm ass, giving it a little pat for Tak to spread his feet apart. Emory teased Tak’s tight entrance with one fingertip and Tak gasped.

Emory broke contact with Tak’s cock to look up and ask, “Is this what you want?”

“Yes,” Tak whispered, breathless.

“Tell me. Tell me what you want, Tak.”

“I want you to fuck me, Emory.”

Artwork by @xla-hainex 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

@palmettostatefuckup did my boys