#taei

Then Yuta shouting his name.

He opened his eyes and swallowed, disoriented and the ceiling of his bedroom swimming before his eyes. He sat up quickly, relief flooding through his veins after realizing it had all been a dream.

“Winwin, are you okay?”

He looked up at Yuta who had woken him up. Yuta’s hand was cool against his sweaty, warm forehead. Suddenly Winwin realized he was shirtless in bed and Yuta was too close. That and images from last night cleared away the remnants of the dream from his mind. He pushed Yuta’s hand away slowly.

He was red when he answered, “Just a dream. I’m okay.”

Yuta nodded.

The front door bell rang across the dorm and Winwin was experiencing the change in Yuta’s facial expression first-hand. Yuta had begun to wear a tired expression lately, as if he was clenching everything inside his chest. And suddenly Yuta’s face looked as if the sun had shined suddenly from beyond the clouds. He smiled, looking in the direction of the sound, and without a word practically ran out of the room leaving Winwin in middle of what could have been a conversation.

Winwin frowned and pulling on a t-shirt quickly followed him, wondering what was up with his roommate (had he ordered something?). The living room was in an uproar. He caught sight of Johnny, Taeyong and Taeil just chatting loudly and laughing in a circle and at the center, with Yuta laughing and clinging on to his arms, stood Hansol.

He felt Haechan and Mark run past him and hug the tall boy who was smiling so warmly at everyone. How-have-you-beens were exchanged and Doyoung was telling everyone to at least let the poor guy have a seat first while Johnny was phoning Ten to come over. Everything was perfect.

When Haechan had told Winwin his biggest competition was coming, Winwin’s first thought had been that Haechan and the Ouija board were a load of bull. His second thought at a weaker instant had been that it had to be a Chinese group that could affect WayV’s debut. Nowhere had it occurred to him that it could be a person who could walk into his life and cause something even remotely akin to the disaster that he was feeling at the sight of Yuta practically glued to that person.

He greeted Hansol who hugged him and asked how things were. Winwin was on auto-pilot. He gave all the correct replies, hoping they didn’t sound as thick to the others’ ears as the words felt on his tongue. His eyes never left Yuta, Yuta who was smiling uncontrollably, who was talking as loudly as Haechan, whose eyes were shining and whose gaze never left Hansol.

In his most pathetic moments, Winwin had felt a twinge of jealousy at the way Yuta was so comfortable with Taeyong and Johnny but he had always known that they were all close friends. He had often even laughed at Jaehyun who used to get jealous when Taeyong spent time with Jonghyun or Seungcheol. He hadn’t thought he would ever “stoop to that level, Jaehyun” but right now, he felt like he could crawl into a little hole and cry.

Sure, there had never been any relationship of that sort between Yuta and himself but right now he felt so replaced. It was only then that he realized something.

Despite all his doubts and insecurities, Yuta did behave special with him. He closed his eyes and he could picture it. Yuta woke him up most days in the softest voice, he always did Winwin’s laundry when he was doing his own, he helped Winwin with Korean without ever expecting anything in return, he tried to learn Chinese for him, he cheered him on for all his performances as well as for WayV, he calmed him down whenever he was nervous, he always knew if something was off, he never held a grudge when they argued, he always asked him if he ate and took him out for food, he told him to sleep and sometimes he nagged awfully but right now, Winwin, who was hit with this flood of a realization, missed even that.

He looked at his group of friends and everything was the same as it always was at breakfast. Everyone was behaving the same. Hansol didn’t even stick out as he explained, “I had a day off and I just had to come over to see you all. It’s been ages since we met for a meal. Oh right, wait, I brought cake and ice-cream.”

Winwin had always liked Hansol hyung who was kind and caring and he knew nothing had changed in Hansol either.

He knew what had changed. He stared at Yuta who was sitting opposite him, conversing nineteen a dozen with Hansol. Winwin was, extraordinarily today, invisible to Yuta. And it hurt to realize that.

He ate his breakfast mournfully ignoring Jaehyun’s concerned but knowing looks. All he could do was stare openly at Yuta. Thanks to this, he was able to spot when Yuta’s plate was empty. He placed toast on it and nearly cried out in frustration when Yuta didn’t even glance in his direction.

He cited practice as his excuse before retreating to his room from where he emerged in record time to announce he was leaving.

Ten turned to Johnny. “What practice? I was pretty sure all of WayV had a free schedule today.”

“It’s probably some solo stuff, then.”

It was only afterwards that Yuta and Hansol found themselves alone in Yuta’s room.

“So…” Hansol started.

Yuta hugged him affectionately. “I can’t believe you actually came. Thank you for coming.”

Hansol rolled his eyes. “My best friend keeps destroying my beauty sleep every night. I knew I had to come.”

“Aren’t you really busy right now? I’m sorry for troubling you so much that you had to come on a hard-earned holiday.” Yuta said, looking guilty.

“Oi, stop being so formal.” Hansol punched his shoulder playfully.

Yuta brightened up. “But I’m really happy you came. I feel like everything is going to be fine now.”

“Of course, it is. Tell me everything and we’ll figure out a foolproof plan for you.”

“You remember how I was going to tell him after practice that day?” Yuta said, his smile fading.

Yuta watched as the members began to leave from the practice room. His left foot was tapping continuously. Okay, he would tell him. He took a deep breath.

He opened his mouth.

“Yo, Yuta hyung, are you coming? We’re going to get pizza,” Mark said, Haechan already tugging at his sleeve.

“I, uh, I guess not really,” Yuta said, laughing awkwardly. “You go on.”

It was now just Winwin and Johnny in the practice room. He waited wondering if he would be able to catch Winwin in the room last or he would have to follow him outside.

Johnny went on practicing and with a quick nod in his direction, Winwin finished packing his bag and went out.

“Don’t overdo it,” Yuta called out quickly to Johnny before following him outside.

He caught sight of Winwin near the elevator. “Winwin-ah.”

The latter turned around at hearing his name and raised an eyebrow. “Yuta hyung.”

“Hey, uh, well,” Yuta wanted to curse himself for being so nervous, “I was wondering…uh, are you hungry?” He cringed internally. He was so bad at this. Despite telling himself that the worse that could happen after his confession was that Winwin would reject him and cut off ties with him only for Yuta to die single and regretful in old age, he was feeling all of his little bravery ebbing away.

Winwin frowned. “Why?”

“We could grab a pizza,” Yuta offered with a quick smile. Please say yes, please say yes.

“You should have gone with Mark and Haechan then. Should I call them? I’m sure you could catch them if you made a run for it.”

Yuta sighed. “Ah, I meant pasta? Noodles? We could get some dessert too? I don’t know. You pick.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“A walk, then?” Yuta was getting desperate. He had plans and they were all coming to nought.

It was Winwin’s turn to sigh now. “Some other day. I’m just going to turn in.”

“C’mon, we both know you’re going to stay up late playing games anyway. Let’s goooo.” Yuta looked down. “I have something to tell you.”

Winwin looked at him suspiciously. “What is it?”

“It’s—I’ll tell you over dinner. It’s something we need to talk over. C’mon, please, please?”

The elevator opened. Winwin ducked his head, ignoring Yuta, and walked inside. He punched a button. “Please take the next one. I’d like to be alone.”

Yuta stood gaping at him. He let the elevator go.

He told himself, despite being utterly confused by the curt behaviour, that it was okay. He told himself he had to walk away from the elevator before someone saw him break down. He told himself he would let go, that this was it with Winwin, that this was the final hint he had been waiting for, that this was a sinking ship and he had to swim away.

He was trudging down the stairs intent on taking the long way down so that he wouldn’t have to see any of his members. He stopped and sat on the stairs after a floor. I’m okay, this is fine, he told himself, wiping a stray tear. I should be happy I didn’t get to make a fool of myself by telling him I like him. This was disaster averted.

Then why did it hurt so much?

He needed to distract himself. He called Hansol. It went to voice mail.

He called Taeyong. It went to voice mail.

He called Johnny. It went to voice mail.

His message inbox was empty except for a message from their manager, “Hey, I’m scheduling a VLIVE of you and Winwin. Is Friday okay? Drag him along too, kiddo isn’t listening to me.”

Of course, he wouldn’t. Judging by what had just happened a VLIVE was one of the last things Winwin would agree to do with him.

He didn’t reply. Instead he stared at his phone until the screen lit up with a new message.

Taeyongie: hey, you called? *>*

I’m out with jaehyunie

Wanna join us for dinner?

Yuta: called you by mistake

Dw enjoy dinner

Taeyongie: I’m sending you the location

Come on :))

Yuta: I already ate

Don’t worry

I’m going to sleep, don’t disturb, okay?

Taeyongie: sure?

Lemme know if you change your mind

Until then, good night, Yuta-kun <3

It was all pretty hazy after that. He remembered buying some beer and weakly flinging empty cans at a caricature he had made on a fence (which suspiciously resembled an manga version of Winwin), he remembered being hauled by Johnny back to the dorm, remembered Johnny crying, remembered crying himself, remembered being sick in the bathroom, remembered Winwin appearing, watching a movie he wasn’t paying attention to and sleeping and dreaming, dreaming of soft hands caressing his hair, remembered telling himself with a smile, even within the dream, that it was a dream.

“The next morning,” Yuta told Hansol, “he behaved like nothing had happened. So, of course, I had to behave like nothing had happened either. Just goes to show how little he cares for me while I basically…”

“Yuta,” Hansol said, softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

Yuta shook his head, telling him it was fine. “But get this, last night, out of the blue he asked me what I think of him? No warnings, no hints, nothing. I freaked out so bad” He put his head in his hands. “I’m such a coward. I wish I had Taeil hyung’s guts. He flirts so openly.”

“What did you tell him then?”

“Nothing. Long story short, I think he still hates me but was just checking to make sure.”

Hansol made a face. “First of all, Winwinie doesn’t hate you or anyone else. He’s a softie. Secondly, you’re going to give me stress if you behave like this. Just come clean like I told you. He deserves to know just like you deserve to say it. What happens next isn’t in your hands. But what can happen right now is.” He ignored Yuta’s alarmed expression. “Now, here’s what you are going to—” He broke off abruptly as the bedroom door opened.

When Winwin had returned home after his self-imposed exile from the dorm, he had decided he would head up to his room and just stay there until his feelings sorted themselves out. He would call Jaehyun and Ten and tell them everything over a tub of ice-cream and just ask for advice.

He let himself into the dorm which was quieter than usual with everyone probably resting on the day off. He climbed upstairs and opened his bedroom door. The sight in front of him did nothing but worsen the mess that were his feelings.

He watched as Yuta and Hansol broke off from whatever they were talking about and Winwin wasn’t a fool to not know that it was definitely about him. His thoughts went back to his question to Yuta last night and his face flamed with embarrassment at imagining both of them laughing at his expense.

“Oh, Winwinie. Hansol was just leaving. Come on in,” Yuta said in an overly bright voice. He got up from where he was sitting with Hansol, pulling him along too. “You’re late, right?” he asked pointedly.

Hansol looked between the two of them and nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’m leaving. No need to see me to the door. Goodbye, Yuta, Winwin.” He walked to the bedroom door. “Oh, Winwin-ah, I brought some cookies for you. They’re by your bed.” He got a glare from Yuta. “Alright, I’m off then.”

Winwin closed his eyes, steading his breath as the door closed leaving just Yuta and him in the room now.

“Why did you tell him to leave?” he said with gritted teeth, anger evident in his expression.

So, tonight was going to be it, a small voice whispered in his head. Everything had been building up to this. The night where they finally fought it out, the night that would destroy the fine balance they had both achieved by leaving everything unsaid, the night where they stopped pretending. He knew they would never be the same after this because this was where it ended, without ever having really begun. He wanted to take all of the hurt inside his heart and turn it into fuel for this night.

oh my god! a lot of stuff happened in this chapter...where do we begin? YES IT WAS HANSOL and he got someone jealous lol the whole yuwin situation is a mess right now...they better sort it out soon ugh.

you got the background to the whole yuta-johnny scene that occurred in the last fic, ten past six. (yayyy we successfully connected it!) do you have any idea why winwin turned down yuta's suggestion to go and have dinner together? we need explanations! (don't worry, you'll get them!)

this update also showed us how winwin feels which is rare because he tends to just bottle everything up...my poor boy :( someone tell yuwin communicating their feelings is vital here.

also what did you feel about the chapter? did you like hansol's cameo? the next chapter is going to be good so hold tight.

hope you enjoyed the update! thank you so much for reading and supporting!

Taeil:

He was a little jealous of P.O, but he kept it to himself. He knew he could trust you, but once you were done he clung to you, hoping to dull his insecurities.

“My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z.”

“Mine are N O.”

Johnny:

(Ignore the subtitles)

Johnny was laughing. You shut down Bobby faster than Johnny could blink. He knew you could handle it, and you did. So he had to tell Jae.

“I feel like a library card, since I’ve been totally checking you out!”

“Did you notice that I’m like a best seller? Currently unavailable.”

Taeyong:

He saw you next to Jooheon, and he had to shut it down and fast. He walked over to you pouty and then wrapped his arms around you. But then he found out Jooheon is your brother. That didn’t turn out well for him.

“I said not to date one of my friends, Y/N”

“Yea but I love him and I don’t listen.”

Yuta:

He would honestly stay to the side to see how you react to Taehyung’s advances. And then he ended up very proud, and giggly.

“Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“Sorry, no map. So why don’t you just get lost?”

Doyoung:

Boi done be pissed, not only was Sehun flirting with you, but you couldn’t catch the hint. You were honest to god confused. So of course, Doyoung had to walk over to you.

“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?” Sehun asked

“Actually, it’s you. Because you just crashed and burned.” Doyoung responded as he whisked you away.

Jaehyun:

(My baby, he kills me)

He was looking through your phone to find a photo, when he came across messages between you and BamBam, but he saw that Bam used a pick up line, and your response was priceless.

“Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!”

“They’re baseball pants because I’m outta your league.”

“Look Hyung, my girlfriend is a beast!!” Jae showed the phone to Johnny

WinWin/Sicheng:

He was slightly upset because he knew you were shy and hated confrontation, and he did too. So, there was nothing he could do to stop Yugyeom. Until he heard you break past your boundaries.

“There’s something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.”

“I’m having a problem with mine, too. I can’t see you getting anywhere with me.”

Mark:

He felt so bad for you since Taeyoung’s flirting was making you really uncomfortable. But you couldn’t come up with a comeback for the pick up lines.

“Be unique and different, just say yes.”

”No”

you just walked away. It was too much.

Haechan/Donghyuck:

He really wasn’t bothered by Chani’s flirting. I mean he is NCT’s true visual. He only had one issue. Your comeback SUCKED. Majorly. He had to stop you from embarrassing your self further or to tease you, who knows?

“Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy!”

“You’re Jamaican me wanna die.”

“No babe just no. I apologize Chani-hyung. She sucks at comebacks.” He said as he took you away. 

A/N: Okay this was a fun one, but I sucked at it. But, anyways, HAVE Y’ALL SEEN THIS COMEBACK OMG

This is me rn.

Requests are: OPEN!!!