#system-failed

>John: Explain your early arrival.

KARKAT: THERE YOU ARE.

Yeah, you called it. You've barely even walked in the door, and he's already in your face.

KARKAT: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING HER OCCUPIED.

KARKAT: THAT'S NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM FOR YOU BEFORE.

KARKAT: WHAT

KARKAT: IS

KARKAT: THE DEAL.

KARKAT: I CAME WAY TOO CLOSE TO HORRIBLE DEATH BY DRONE BECAUSE OF THIS, JOHN, SO YOU HAD BETTER HAVE A ***REALLY*** FUCKING GOOD EXPLANATION.

JOHN: jeez, karkat, if you'd let me get a word in!

JOHN: there wasn't really much i could do about it, okay?

JOHN: she kind of ordered me to go home.

JOHN: actually, she kind of ordered everyone to go home.

>John: Go home.

You're already on your way. You know Karkat's not going to be very happy with you when you get there, but you don't really care about that. It can be kind of hard to care about Karkat being angry, sometimes. Sure, he shouts and gets pretty worked up, but that's pretty much exactly how he acts when you're playing video games or whatever.

Not that you do a whole lot of playing video games any more.

Things have gotten pretty serious for you guys lately. You're behind this rebellion, all the way. The Batterwitch might be your grandma, but she's pretty heinous. You know everything would be better off with the power in different hands. But knowing that and running a full-scale rebellion out of your basement are very different things! You believe in your cause, but sometimes you just want to goof off with your friends.

You have a feeling that you are looking at the beginning of something big.

> Be the other girl.

You are now ROSE LALONDE, and you have been dead for three years. You had, when you were still alive, occasionally wondered about what happened post-mortem, but not once did you think that it would involve your mind inside a SYNTHETIC BODY.

To put it more simply, you are A ROBOT. GYNOID is the more appropriate term, but so few of your friends seem to remember the distinction that you don’t let yourself get caught up in semantics.

Your friends also jokingly call you THE ORACLE, and you suppose there is some truth to that. While you are confined to this house - which, so long as your legal status remains dead, you are - you are CONNECTED TO THE CITY. Any systems you can get into without being detected, you are in, granting you access to cameras, police and security transmissions, and all sorts of information, secret and not. You like to think this makes you something close to OMNISCIENT.

For example, you are watching the Signless make a hasty retreat from one of his demonstrations on your advice. You are transmitting an escape route back to the rebellion’s base of operations to his psionic escort, and you estimate their time of arrival to be within the hour.

What will you do?

> Be the concerned Moirail.

You try to be the concerned moirail. However, she appears to be too busy worrying over the location of the SIGNLESS to be of much interest to a curious narrator.

You’re just going to have to wait to be her for a while.

However, there is this LOVELY YOUNG WOMAN over here who appears to be free. Why don’t you try being her, for now?

==>

PSIIONIIC: come on a22hole ii’m not goiing two waiit for you all day!

PSIIONIIC: iif you 2tart takiing any longer ii am goiing two leave you two the drone2, don’t even te2t me.

SIGNLESS: OH, THAT’S RICH.

SIGNLESS: I TAKE THREE SECONDS, AND YOU PULL ME OFF STAGE - BY MY NECK, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT, BY THE WAY - AND THEN!

SIGNLESS: AND THIS IS THE BEST PART!

SIGNLESS: TAKE EVEN MORE TIME BERATING ME FOR TAKING TOO LONG.

SIGNLESS: I HOPE YOU CHOKE, CAPTOR.

You leave the stage behind you and don’t look back. You’re not sure if everyone’s gotten out, and you’re not going to check. You don’t need that to worry about right now, nobody does.

Right now, you just need to think about getting back to your moirail.

> Signless: Relocate. Quickly.

You don’t actually get a choice in this matter. Apparently, you took too long in reacting to the news, and the choice to run is being made for you.

Goddamn fucking overprotective friends. You can run on your own, thank you very much.

> Signless: Get those people to safety. You are nothing without your movement!

You would love to do that. You really would. You’ve learned from experience, though, that by the time Lalonde is picking up on the drones bearing down on you, the danger is too close to get them out and you away before they’re here.

You may not be anything without your movement, but your movement still needs its leader.

You’re just going to have to trust that your security can handle this.

==>

Fuck.