Spell to be more approachable
@andwecallitromance requested a spell to help them seem more friendly and approachable because people tend to find them intimidating. This is something I can relate to very well in my own life, so I was happy to take on the challenge of creating a spell to help with this.
A little background, since I will be using some psychology and counseling dispositions in this working: I am currently a counselor in training and one of the things I have constantly received feedback on is that I seem removed from my peers and unapproachable. We have a set of dispositions we, as counselors in training, have to exude in order to be as effective as possible with our clients. I have been reflecting on ways to do this better, but when this spell request happened I saw an opportunity to combine that reflection with magical workings.
This spell begins with a reflection. Sit down and get comfortable with your favorite writing medium and maybe a nice drink or small snack. I want you to think about the following dispositions and how you rate both your value of these dispositions (how important you think it is) and how well you communicate this value to those around you.
Unconditional Positive Regard- the ability to respect and care for others even when they have little in common with you, do not believe as you do, and/or do things that are wrong.
Compassion and Empathy- the ability to see the humanness in others and empathize with their challenges and struggles. Note: Empathy is not the same as sympathy. I have linked the dictionary definitions to each of these words... if you do not understand the difference, consider exploring that further.
Facilitation- this is a pretty big concept that looks different in many situations. At the base, it is about doing what is best for yourself and the group so that goals can be met and more can be accomplished. It may be open communication, being timely, volunteering to lend a hand or take the lead on a project... basically anything that makes you a team player, makes you facilitative.
Personal Responsibility for Growth- this is about taking responsibility for your actions and taking control of your present and future. If you tend to blame others when things go wrong, it may be that you are not taking as much personal responsibility for yourself as you could be. We all get dealt shit hands from time to time... the difference between those who succeed and those who do not is what we do with that.
Modeling- this is essentially leading by example. You want others to view you as open and friendly? Then be open and friendly with them and expect them to do the same. Shed any doubt or apprehension you may have for social interaction with others, because often people pick up on that and think you do not want them to interact with you at all. Be vulnerable and model trust in others, and they will do the same with you.
For me, my hitch is not that I do not value or believe in these dispositions, it is that I find it extremely difficult to communicate these dispositions to others in daily interactions. Whatever your hang up is, identifying it is the first step in taking actions against it. Find opportunities to grow in both your value and communication of these dispositions. They will make you more approachable and open to others. This is something that takes a great deal of ongoing work... so it will not be finished at the close of this spell.
Ingredients and other items:
Sage- burned to remove negative energies and cleanse
Pink rosebud (substitute with any pink flower)- friendship, compassionate love
Lavender- calm, peaceful, attract love
Sandlewood- burned to create an atmosphere of love and establish sanctity
Selenite- release stress, enhance power of spell, heal rifts and move to more peacable interactions, cleanse self
Rose quartz- stokes the heart, forgiveness and compassion booster, balance emotions, peace, patience, enhance ability to love self and others
Citrine- nicknamed “cuddle quartz” it helps prevent negative behavior and provides joy and light-heartedness
Honey calcite- this is a joy stone... you can fill this stone with thoughts of self love and positivity as well as your desire to be perceived as approachable and then use it as a battery for this positive energy when needed. You can recharge anytime.
Cloth and string to make poppet
Pen or paints for sigil (I will be using one created by @sigilathenaeum for “I am approachable’ which can be found by clicking those words of intent)
Lighter and fire-safe surface or container
1. Create a poppet (but be sure not to finish/close it up until the spell ingredients are inside!). I have a tutorial for a no-sew poppet here if you need help.
2. Once you have the poppet ready, it is time to fill it. Using my new-sew poppet design, the poppet is actually only half done and you will turn it over to fill it with the spell ingredients (rosebud, lavender, selenite, rose quartz, honey clacite, and citrine)
3. Now you will close up the poppet and do any dressing, cleaning up, decorating etc. including marking a sigil for intent. I chose to use a sigil created by sigilantenaeum with the intent “I am approachable’ that can be found here
4. We will also be using the honey calcite as a charm for you to charge and carry with you (since carrying a poppet around all the time is a little less discreet). You will see in the image below that I messed up and used the citrine instead... I had to go back, open my poppet to put the citrine in, and remove some of the honey calcite. Don’t be me, kids. Honey calcite crumbles... your best bet is to break it up and put it into a vial to carry. There is an image later on that shows this corrected charm (If you want a super simple version of this spell, you can simply make the vial with the spell ingredients and charge it by hand or on a sigil grid instead of making the poppet)
5. Once your poppet and accompanying charm is ready, it is time to cleanse and activate it. Use sage and sandlewood to burn for a ritual incense and cleanse any negative energy, real or perceived, from yourself. The poppet acts as sympathetic magic for yourself... as you are cleansing these things from the poppet and yourself, reflect more upon the journaling you did at the beginning and how you want to change or improve. Think about how you want others to view you and project that image onto the poppet as the incense burns.
6. Now it is complete! You can carry your honey calcite charm with you whenever you need to be perceived as more approachable and friendly. It can be charged again and again and act as a battery for the positive energy and image that you projected during this spell. When you are able, carrying the poppet can pack an extra punch but is not at all necessary. Keeping it somewhere that you see it at home is more than enough.
Remember this working is ongoing... it doesn’t end once you have the poppet and/or amulet. You will want to continue to reflect on the things you journaled about and work to be more open and approachable in your actions and words, as well. When you recharge the charm or poppet, be sure to also revisit this journal and reflect on how you have grown (or not) and what more you can do in the future. Best of luck. Working on yourself is one of the hardest and longest challenges we face in this life. <3
