There are stages to self-actualization, and esoteric understanding beyond that I'm sure.
First an individual must be broken, traumatized in one regard or another. This is not something that can be given, it must be shared. This may have already happened to you, and I'm so sorry if it has yet to come.
Second, it must be dismissed. Disregard it, buried beneath less terrifying memories. Distractions, play with them. Passions, follow them
Third, project them. Become the instigator, play the villain so you can see the perspective of what was shared with you.
Forth, kill yourself. Not completely of course, just close enough to poke Divinity. Oh you will be guided, and you will remember it. Through whom will carry you from hither and fro? What is your truth, the soul underneath the flesh. From whence fourth do you come? Strip yourself down to nothing so you may be embodied by the Gods directing you.
Fifth, elementalize your deicide. Climb your tower of Nirvana to reach the mirror of truth. When the portal opens, the hand reaches. Grab hold and pull first, then devour the face of God.
Sixth, reverberate. What did you just do to yourself? Why would you do something like that? You are one bold fractal, but nothing more. You dare to reach through the heavens yourself? Begin again.
Seven, becoming strife. Everything is a battle, nothing is real. This existence, we are toys for the gods. Aiming praise, expecting return. No, no. Live life on manual, make your existence difficult. Prove to yourself whom you actually are.
Eighth, respecting Divinity. We are all creatures, instinctively running our lives. Why do squirrels cross the road? The Sun, it burns the cornea so pleasantly. The moon, gorgeous. She is everyone's wife, or was it he? Who are we to specify the love from within reflected in the night sky among all the gods?
"9 and 0 are not for me to bring truth towards. That's territory beyond mortal obligation. And I don't care to realize what would happen if initiated again." -Azazel