#synchronisity

Rainbow

things got really intense with my sponsor this evening: i talked to her about how i hadn’t expected to live this long and how the way i’m living my life reflects that. we talked about my half-sister passing away a month ago. and i just got this big picture sense of how much i’ve been on autopilot, even in sobriety.

and then i was watching episode 2 of castlevania and that part where one of the Speakers says to Belmont: “It’s not dying that frightens us, it’s living without ever having done our best” and I just

Good is good. It’s fine, really. But I’m holding out for great...

I’m working on it. Raising my vibrations because I know by doing so, I’ll be raising your vibrations too. All I want for both you and me is to be the best versions of ourselves and I know, knowing you, knowing me, and having irl “prototypes” of what what we can create together... I know how powerful our synergy can be on both the micro and the macro level.

It’s been hard for me to remain patient. I want it, and so many ways I feel like I’ve really, truly, g-damn fuckin earned it. But I know the struggle is a tool of growth in and of itself.

Faith, she says I need. And faith is what I will continue to practice... alongside anything I need to do to to ascend to the level I finally get to merge my soul with yours.

Wandering, since the beginning of time, looking for the divine masculine to complete my heart (though I stand as a whole, completely on my own, as I Should...)