Do You Know What Youâre Doing? Bayverse! Turtles x Reader Headcanons
đ this is based off of a tiny little tiktok trend iâm seeing⊠people post specific and in-depth things that their s/o does that attracts them :) figured iâd give it a go with the bay boys. a little broad but thatâs likely because this was instead written a little more suggestive than i had initially planned. but⊠whoâs complaining? lmfao
if youâre wondering⊠trend: âthings i find extremely attractiveâ on tiktok
synopsis: the turtles are attractive and things get explicit.
Warnings: NSFW, suggestive, 18+. MDNI. All characters aged up
Leo:Â
Iâd like to believe that Leo, in private, genuinely finds the idea of overpowering people intriguing. Heâs learned to do better, KNOWS how to do better when it comes to controlling his attitudeâ but you give him some leniency with it.Â
In the scenario where you and he decide to participate in thisâ"this" meaning being generous about how much of a sassy, authoritative, commanding turtle he's allowed to beâapproach with caution. By God, he takes full advantage.
Itâs not like the relationship he has with his brothers. Not ridiculously domineering, no. He knows when to act like an actual man.
But he is a tease.Â
âWhat?â He would sneer. Clicking his tongue, tilting his head, pouting at you when you donât get your way.Â
Again. Thatâs only in private. He treats you like royalty in the presence of literally anyone else.
I have an idea in my head that heâs definitely the type of individual to enjoy reading books.
Classics, of course, but he gets these (cough) frisky ideas from romance books. No doubt.
Thatâs where Leo would learn how to do all of this romantic kinky shit to you. No social media, as heâs likely absent from itâ maybe visits a few âhow-toâsâ, but other than that, when it comes to his romanticism tactics; itâs all literature-based.
Heâs into begging. Matter of fact, Iâd say itâs one of the biggest things heâs intoâ he loves when the words coming out of your mouth are simply words of want. You want him to do this to you? Him, of all people? You gorgeous being, you. It boosts his damn ego, plain and simple.Â
Leo got into this by fault of his own. Blue had gotten his hands on a romantic book that consisted of some fairly explicit adult content for the first time; lord knows how he got it. Probably found it in a trash bin on patrol, the cover looked nice.Â
Had no idea what the book consisted of. Picked it up. Couldnât put it back down. Discovered something new about himself that day.Â
It was from then on out he started to hide his growing book collection from his family. Maybe he sets the more acceptable ones out on display⊠sure.Â
In PUBLIC, honor boy is a completely different character.Â
Heâs respectful.Â
Holds the door open, buys you food, aids you with care like no other when youâre sick. Something as simple as a slight headache has him dropping everything to come baby you without having to ask.Â
Thatâs all you have to do: ask. Thatâs it.Â
If you ever get back from a date night, feet tired from wearing heels or a painful shoe all night, you best believe that man is swooping you right up and off of your feet with the shoes dangling in the other hand.Â
Leoâs a big fan of back-of-hand/knuckle kisses. Itâs one of his favorite ways to show his respect to you, even if he acts the opposite when youâre alone ;)
He just likes getting a rise out of you⊠tease that man, for Godâs sakes. You wonât regret it.
This is just an extra⊠but he absolutely loooooves helping you zip up your dress. Slowly. Surely. Matter of fact, just follow him to the bedroom, it doesnât need to be zipped up anyways.
Raph:Â
We know that Raph hates being excluded from decisions, major or minor.Â
Thatâs why itâs his number one priority to make your voice heard.Â
He WILL make sure that you stand out in a group setting. That man is used to being left out of group conversations. If thereâs one thing he can do to show his attention, itâs giving you his own undivided attention; even if that means forcing the rest of the group to listen to what you have to say.Â
He doesn't care if he has to fight to do it. By all means, speak your truth.
When it comes to people that arenât his own dearly loved and immediate family, Raph is more of a socially anxious being! Contrary to popular belief, yes. Itâs true. He may come off as a hot head⊠probably because yes. He is. But the dude knits in his free time. He hates people. Iâve said it before and Iâll say it again⊠Iâm almost 99% heâd be on the introverted side if he were to be publicly accepted.Â
Speaking of knitting!Â
Gift giving is his looove language đ
When winter rolls around, heâs knitting you a blanket and you donât get a choice but to use it and KEEP it.Â
When Spring rolls around, he has you bring that blanket back to the lair so he has some sort of scent remnant of you.Â
Itâs really no surprise as to why he wants it. đ
On a different topic, Iâm also a firm believer that heâd be allllllll over kissing the scars on your body.Â
So what, you think theyâre ugly? He has them too. He thinks they look cool. But oh, they look so much better on you.Â
Stretch marks. Scars. Injuries of the like. They show a journey and he is so unbelievably down to prove it to you.Â
Speaking of proving things to youâŠ.Â
Raph likes loves when you speak out against him. It gives him all the more reason to take your two hands in his giant green one and use that shit against you.Â
You wanna talk about how much you hate your body? How much you think people hate you for who you are? How shitty of a s/o you think you are?Â
Try saying or proving any of that when one hand is grasping two of yours and the other is over your mouth.Â
Youâre not able to say anything, regardless. Your mind is too busy on other things ;)Â
Like Raphâs voice, for one. Heâs vocal! And is WELL aware.Â
Spring, he despises; he misses you too much. However, he never allows you over, as he is far too terrified of harming you.Â
Because he has no control over his actions for the week (at most), youâve been tasked with staying home. Spring, in its entirety; SUCKSâ but Raph will be a trooper for yaâ.
Itâs only about a weekâs length where spring fever hits him like a train. Yeah. A weekâs length is all you have to stay home⊠without him.Â
So. Before that week starts, he gives you the worst hickies known to mankind.Â
Theyâre deep and purple. He only does it so when he sees you again, those feelings come flooding back! Itâs like his season, but heâs aware this time. Hell yeah! And heâs got his girl for this round!Â
As long as you donât cover them up, Raph treats you just fine. Unless you request otherwise. Heâs down for anything you ask of him⊠Red is desperate.Â
Donnie:
Thereâs no telling when a spicier mood will hit him.
But there are signsâŠ. and one is a dead giveaway.
Itâs around three in the morning, one night. You decided to stay over at the lair with your genius boyfriend and his family; it was getting late, anyways.Â
Thereâs shit scattered all over the lair. As you trudge to grab a snack from the fridge, you manage to step on THREE things: Mikeyâs Stuffed Animal, trash that Leo had begged Raph to pick up, and an aluminum wrapper of a strawberry Pop-Tart pastry that Donatello had been particularly fond of.Â
Speak of the devil. (Heâs such a deep sleeper, how could he have heard you?)
Donnieâs voice, laced heavily with sleep, floats from the doorway.Â
The turtle in purple (and probably sweatpants) would mumble a silly question about why youâre up so late. He approaches, warm hand finding your waist as he leans past you to retrieve his prized juice box from the fridgeâ pausing before he realizes why you were probably in this exact spot, too.
"Would you like ân orange or an apple?" He sleepily murmurs against your forehead, pressing a kiss there before pulling back and wrapping his arms around you.
You don't answer, too distracted by how his thumb traces circles just above your hipbone, the scaly finger sending shivers through your sleep shirt.
Itâs not with any intention at first. But⊠it does grow into some.
He likes how warm you feel against him. He likes how he can use you as a headrest. He likes how he can just think about you and nothing else on his mind. None of those stressors from his work are present in his mind just yet, heâs too focused on you.
Donnie, who is most often perceived to be âin-the-moodâ after a long day at work, is actually most often âin-that-moodâ when he wakes.
Heâs been snoozing for a bit and has nothing on his mind. Heâs zoned, heâs sleepy, heâs cozy⊠and youâre warm⊠come here, will you?Â
Donnie's fingers continued along your waist, calloused skin tracing the hem of your sleep shirt. His body remained pressed against yours, weight shifting as he buried his face deeper into your shoulder. You could feel the slow, even rhythm of his breathing against your neck, warm puffs of air raising goosebumps along your arms.Â
You felt his lips press against the curve where your shoulder met your neck, lingering there, hot and damp.Â
A little noiseâ soon discernable as a moanâ slipped out from your lips.Â
Youâve got two seconds to decide whether you want to go back to his room or let him lift you up on the counter before he decides for you.Â
(someone remind me to post a mini one-shot for that scenario someday. itâs sitting in my drafts)
When Donnie IS of a more conscious state, there is no scenario that man loves more than having you in his lap when he works.Â
Any time you walk by, heâs waving you towards him with a finger. Or a nod of his head.Â
You can straddle him, cuddle him, sit in front of him while he works. Donnie doesnât care. As long as he gets to hold you.Â
His hands will drift. Waaaaay further than they should be allowed to with that lab door of his wide open.Â
When heâs awake, heâs very into overstimulating the shit out of you. But heâs, and, this is hard to explain or put into wordsâ nice with it? He talks you through it. Makes sure youâre okay even though youâre seeing stars while he whispers to you. Is pecking kisses upon kisses down your body.Â
And, of course, helps clean you afterwards.Â
When heâs sleepy, like previously mentioned; he likes sitting you on top of his thigh once you get back in the bedroom. He gets to watch you receive pleasure all while being able to control how much you get and when. Whatâs more to love?Â
His sleepy voice, thatâs what. Itâs raspy and his voice cracks more than it already does on the daily. Hell, it makes you want to be the one helping him out.
He wonât let you. He takes you in his arms and conks back out instead. đ€
Mikey:
Mikey always loved parties. Even betterâ he loves taking you to aforementioned parties.
Even if itâs not your thing, he sticks with you the entire time. The sweet tangerine turtle will place his hand on your back ever so slightly, wanting nothing more than to ease you mind of this rambunctious place; oh, whatâs that? You want to ditch and get some fresh air?Â
Say no more.Â
He's already found the perfect place, temperature-wise. If you've made a statement about being too warm, great! He's already found a secluded place with just the right amount of breeze to keep you comfortable. Too cold? Mikey's jacket is coming straight off of his waist and straight onto your body.
He has this way of making you feel like you're the only two people there, even in the middle of a thousand-person crowd.Â
He'll lean in close, breath warm against your ear as he whispers some ridiculous commentary about the people around you. Mikey is great at distracting you. Making shitty experiences seem bearable for what they really are.
He looooves taking you on solo walks around the venue you're in; he pays EXTRA attention to what makes you light up as you walk past. If there's a specific vendor... for example, a dessert or drink stand if you're at a party, you best believe that man would watch his wallet run dry if it meant seeing you happy.Â
He's not the kind to take you out to an ice cream shop and only buy YOU something because YOU were hungry. He'll get something, too! Probably one of those seasonal flavors that sound goofy... cereal milk? That one screams 'Mikey' to me.
As the night becomes too much, and the moon carries on, you two have probably found your way back to the lair. Or, your apartment. Whichever.Â
Of course, when it's just you two and Mikey's attention is on you, he goes from crowd-pleaser --> pleasure-giver.
Contrary to popular opinion, heâd take it slow!
Even if heâs been with other people before, if thatâs a general headcanon of yoursâ youâre one he genuinely cares about. Mikeyâs been eyeing you for ages. Now, heâs finally got his hands on you. Slow and steady, heâll take itâ unless asked otherwise. He wants to remember this remember you.
Mikey LOVES taking the lead, and generally prefers it, but only if you explicitly offer it. He will never force a thing, but if you give him the reins, you arenât getting them back unless you ask nicely đ
This doesnât take away from the fact that he also loves when YOU take the reins! Please. By all means, tell him what to do. He is not going to complain. You may actually get him to listen for once in his life đ€·ââïž
Mikey is a huge (!!) fan of praise; if you compliment him or tell him how good he is at being in charge, he'll work even harder to ensure you're taken care of, confirming that he's earned the position you gave him.
 Looking into it, maybe this comes from him being the youngest! He likes being able to take authority, especially when itâs in something heâs good at with someone he loves.
Reciprocal touch and reassurance are absolute musts for him; he needs to feel you reaching back just as much as heâs reaching for you. If you run your hands over his shell or pull him closer, he practically melts. Heâll often ask if heâs doing a good job or if youâre enjoying yourself, not out of insecurity, but because your verbal and physical confirmation acts like straight gasoline for him. It sets him on fire, gets him going, itâs his fuel. Seeing you lose yourself in the moment because of something heâs doing is the ultimate ego boost for him, and heâll reward your praise with even more focused attention.
The aftercare with Mikey is legendary and arguably his favorite part of the whole experience.Â
Heâs a total cuddle bug. He will WRAP HIS LIMBS around you like a koala and refuse to let go.Â
Heâll bring you water, of course, find your favorite snacks, and maybe even put on a silly cartoon just to keep the atmosphere light and cozy. Heâll then pepper your face with tired, happy kisses and whisper about how much he loves you until you both drift off. :)Â
And then heâll wake you up with his snores. Because I know he does. He absolutely does.
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Hello, sae, this is the first time I make a request and, having in mind a fluff! and hurt/comfort rise turt x reader, I'm (coincidentally) hearing your plea. I had in mind raph x reader or donnie x reader when reader is having period cramps, but if period is too yucky and uncomfortable for you, scratch that 𫣠Hope this request is not too demanding/arrogant for you âșïž
That Time of the Month: Rise! Raph & Donnie Headcanons
đ hello hello!!! thank you so much for making a request, i always love when people do đ i did both of the turtles you requested, hope you donât mind. these will be pretty short. just some headcanons for each! happy spring, friend!
requests are open! <3 getting to them slowly. tried out a new little format for headcanons. let me know if yall hate it and i'll fix it haha
tags: rottmnt, x reader, raph, donnie, headcanons, pre-established relationship, request, fluff, comfort, fem reader/reader who has a period
synopsis: it's that time of the month again. your cramps are worse than ever, and you want nothing more than to curl up in a hole and to just stay there forever. your lovely turtle boyfriend helps you through it đ
Raph đ
You came home one day, stomach aching like it never had before. You knew you dealt with intense cramps when this time of the month would roll around. But, this bad? These cramps were quite literally the equivalent of tiny little needles stabbing their way around your guts, aiming again and again and again as if theyâd missed.Â
Raph was supposed to come over that day. Instead of finding a typically happy, enthusiastic you, who was supposed to be cheerily waiting for him to arrive; he found an unusually depressed you, hunched over in half on your bed, your fetal position a clear indicator that something was very very very wrong.Â
He has no idea whatâs going on at firstâ he was in no way whatsoever attentive to the hot water bottle you had laying on your stomach, not to the chocolate, not to the old and tattered towel under you, not to the running shower water you had on in the background...
Raph immediately ran up to you as he noticed stains of⊠was that⊠blood on the towel? What in the world?!
âYou're bleeding?! Who did this?! Does Raph need to hurt somebody?!âÂ
Well, that cheered you up a little bit. Oh, how heâs so willing to fight for youâ but has such little idea about how the female body works. It made sense, a little bit. They were trained for war. Literally. If the biggest, most war-torn turtle saw blood on his partnerâ he was bound to give in to his protective instincts.Â
You manage a weak, pained sound. Something of a laugh and groan, and you grab his wrist before he can move.
âRaphânoâno, itâs notââ you wince. âItâs just cramps.â
Well, now, why would you be folded in half for cramps this bad if you havenât been, I donât know, stabbed beforehand? The red-clad turtle was confused. Empathetic, but confused.Â
It took a minute for you to register that your beloved mutant seriously, whole-heartedly, hadnât the slightest clue what a period was. Oh, heavens.Â
ââŠRaph,â you start, already tired. âDo you know what a period is?â
âDuh. Yeah, they go at the end of a sentence? Ainât that obvious?â He puts his three fingered hand under his chin.Â
It pained you to sit up, but you pat the spot next to you in hopes he comes to sit. Or, best case scenario, he gets behind you and puts those warm hands of his on your stomach. Yeah, thatâs what you want. He initially sits next to you, but you flip over and push him down with a finger to get your way.Â
You spend the next fifteen minutes explaining to him one of the most excruciating experiences of girlhoodâ how women spend around a week out of every month bleeding and aching whilst having no other option but to put up with the world around them.Â
He did admit-- when you told him that bleeding every month was a normal thing, it made slight sense to him why there was a more metallic scent around the lair. He didnât dare admit he could sense that to your face.Â
Raph physically shakes his head to snap out of it. His giant feet swing around you, standing upâ you nearly cry from disappointment that his oh-so-warm hands have left your abdomen.Â
âOkayâokay, what helps? Meds? Water? Talk to me.â The snapping turtle leaves, making an absolute mess out in your kitchen from rummaging through your cabinets, and returns with wayyy too many items! A reheated water bottle, chocolate, blankets, pain meds, your favorite snacks. Big guy thought of it all. đ
âAlright, I got stuff. I donât know if itâs the right stuff, but Raph's got stuff.â
He looks way too proud of himself for someone who just tore through your kitchen like a hurricane. That mood settles when he sees your face peeking out from your blankets, sleepily. Cozily. More exhausted than he likes to see you be. He can fix that.Â
He sets everything down a little too fast, then immediately slows himself, remembering youâre not exactly in the condition to deal with his usual energy.
Raph sets everything down on the nightstand next to you, ready to handle you like a fragile little baby. He places the reheated water bottle down on your stomach gently. Of course, it was gentle. He immediately notices a tiny little shift in your face. You liked that. Heat seemed to be a source of comfort for you. He can work with that, right?Â
The turtle stands there for a few seconds⊠unsure of what he was supposed to do. Offer you words of comfort? Physical comfort? All of it? Heâs down to do anything, obviously! Heâs a snuggly reptile. Heâll cuddle you any chance he gets.Â
Raphael sits down beside you, the bed sinking as he does so. He winces, but continues his route downwards to you. You shift closer into him, seeking nothing but warmth. His arm hovers awkwardly above you; but he eventually settles his hand around your waist, allowing the heat from his body to encase your own.Â
Oh. That helps, you thought.Â
You let out a slow breath, your forehead pressing lightly, backwards, against his plastron. It was silent for a little bit. Comfortably. You two could stay silent for hours in each others presence.Â
ââŠYou deal with this every month?â He mumbled. You nod against him; Raph sighs into your neck. His thumb starts circling around your waist.Â
âTell me if Iâm makinâ it worse,â he adds. You nod again.Â
That was the first time youâve been able to fall asleep with no pain, in the last week.Â
Donnie đ
Unlike Raph, Donnie has taken the liberty of teaching himself quite literally everything about the human body ever since he met April.
Periods are nothing new to him. Nothing scary, either. Theyâve faced way worse. Kraang invasions, The Shredder, the Foot Clan. Blood is not a new concept. He is not scared of a little monthly hormonal dysfunction.
What Donnie was scared of was your emotional influx. Not April's. Not Cassandra's. He highly cared about the two, obviously, but you came first. Whether it be an increase in your sadness, anger, irritability, fatigueâ he hated seeing you anything other than a perfectly happy state! So when you came into his lab, tears breaking through the corners of your eyes, begging for some sort of medicineâ ibuprofen, tylenol, god, did he have any of it? Donnie was up and out of his chair immediately.Â
Verbally, what was he supposed to say? His hands kind of wave around for a minute, confused as to what he was supposed to do. He was struggling. What did you need it for? Maybe he could find something more effective to help you? Talk to him? Please?!
âIâyesâobviously, I have pain relievers, thatâsâhold on, give me two seconds, I have a system for this? Oh, Sweet Galileo, this is a lot, what are your current symp-â
You take matters into your own hands, god forbid. You huff a breath of air and snatch a bottle of medicine out of his desk drawer, counting out your dosage like youâd done a million times before.Â
In the midst of shoving the drawer shut with your foot, Donnie turns back around from his little ramble session. Oh, how you loved him, but those got tiring sometimes. Especially when all you wanted from him right now was his comfort. You softly take a step forward and place a hand over his mouth. âSweetheart, please be quiet. I love you. And your rambles. But just for a second.âÂ
His drawn-on eyebrows furrow, confused. What? You didnât want to hear him yap about whatever your symptoms could possibly mean? Ah, well. There was always next time. Donnieâs hands came down to fold above his plastron. What was going on with you?Â
After a minute of digesting the situation, observing you solely based on your physical appearance, he made a guess; simply just a shot in the dark. You had a comfy blanket tossed over your shoulder, dark circles under your eyes that werenât usually this prominent, and a giant red indented marking above your abdomen from where your shirt lifted up? Likely from a heat source, the softshell had thought. Ah. Sheâs on her period.Â
Donnie pulls his workbench chair over to you with his foot, the rolling piece of furniture settling right under your legs. âOkay. You have Ibuprofen. Hereâs some water. Sit. Please sit.â His voice is softer. Still analytically commanding, as he usually is, when heâs in this setting. His lab. You barely make it onto the edge of his chair before heâs pushing it closer to his workbench so you donât have to move again. It didnât take long for Donnie to go doctor mode on you.Â
âOkie-dokes. Scale of one to ten,â he says quickly, crouching in front of you now, goggles pushed up onto his head. âCan you tell me your pain level?â
You chuckle, the pain ultimately causing you to wince a bit. âNine.â You say, voice firm.Â
Donnie does not like that number.Â
He quickly grabs a pre-made heat pack from a drawerâthe softshell always keeps extras in his lab for April, and occasionally, some of his brothers, when they get sick, or inevitably hurt themselves doing something stupid. He gently lifts your shirt up an inch to place the warmth directly over your cramping abdomen. You sink back into the chair, letting out a small sigh of relief. The material was softer, you noticed! Softer than the harsh, scratchy material your personal heating pad was made of. This felt like it was made from old fabrics. Encased in it, at least.Â
"Good. Warmth. Now, tell me about other symptoms. Nausea? Headache? Fatigue?" He rattles off the list, already grabbing a small notebook and pen from his largest desk to document everything.Â
Old habits die hard, even when heâs tending to his beloved.
You answer him in short, tired bursts. Headache, yes. Fatigue, absolutely. The pain was easing by the second with the makeshift heating pad. Maybe it was just talking to him that helped.Â
You give him the benefit of the doubt, allowing him to help you like this. It was a win-win situation. You felt better. He got to nerd out about⊠menstruation. And helping his partner, of course.Â
"Based on my immediate observational data and your self-reported symptoms," he announces, turning back to you, "the ibuprofen should take effect in approximately 20 to 30 minutes. In the interim, maintaining hydration is paramount, as is continued thermal regulation." In simpler terms, he wanted you to continue drinking water and applying heat to your body where you needed it. On your stomach.Â
He hands you a bottle of water he pulled from a mini-fridge he keeps hidden in a panel.
You were far too busy slumping down in the chair and dozing off in comfort before you realized that Donnie has done something⊠unexpected, considering his typical behavior regarding having to aid with human emotions. Donnie does not go back to work. Donnie does not hide away in a deeper corner of his lab. Donnie does not ignore you entirely. (He would never do that in general. Not to you, at least. Maybe to Leo.)Â
He pulls up a smaller, more ergonomic stool next to his workbench chair. He takes off his goggles and gloves, setting them aside. He turns his full attention to you, placing a gentle three-fingered hand on your forehead to check your temperature.
"Iâll put all of my current projects on hold," he says, his voice losing its clinical edge and gaining a soft, comforting tone. "You need to rest. Canât say Iâm a fan of how out of it you look right now, love."
Donnie starts to explain the whole shebang behind menstruation and reproductive processes in women. He knew distractions worked for you. If annoying the hell out of you with his ramblings is what worked, so be it. He would have done it anyway.Â
Once he's satisfied you're sufficiently distracted and informed, he shifts his position slightly, leaning his plastron against your covered legs as he crouches down from his chair. He reaches out a hand, finding yours, and laces your fingers together.
"Just rest, darling," he murmurs, gently stroking your hand with his thumb. "Let the medication work. Iâll be right here.âÂ
Your eyes drift off to sleep. Itâs comforting, knowing that he treated you like this; with such care for something that happens so painfully every month. His fingers stroked your hair as your breathing steadied, one hand massaging your scalp and one hand typing away at his computer; coding something, who knows. You didnât care.Â
Hm. He was really good at this.Â
â°â„ïž âź
someone tell me if the tiny subscript font is unreadable or if it sucks. i will change it if so hahaha. only plan on using that for headcanons, not actual fics, if y'all prefer it!
Synopsis: When Donnie accidentally consumes an unidentified substance at a New Yearâs Party and becomes inexplicably inebriated, he gains a boost of confidence. A bit too much, perhaps.
Tags: fem! reader, suggestive, mutual pining, angst/good ending, nerdy desperate and a very inebriated donatello, mating season mention, jealousy between both parties, vern is annoying and mischaracterized for plot
Warnings: angst, cursing, alcohol, suggestive towards the end, 18+.
word count: ~18.1k
â°ââź
New Yearâs Eve, New York City. 9:00 P.M.
The clock was 3 hours away from striking twelve. While many New Yorkers had chosen to corral around Times Square for the annual ball drop, there were a certain few who had been chosen to attend the expensive and neighboring party of someone particularly familiar. Maybe around 100 people, per seâ but the venue could hold a much larger capacity than that.Â
Vern had rented out one hell of a mansion after he had become a âhit,â as he would so generously call it. His initial intentions were to keep it small. Maybe invite some close friends, some family, some plus onesâ which didn't end up as planned. Now, those margins of people had thus been expanded to: very select members of the NYPD, deceitful yet wealthy politicians, locally residing high-profile celebrities, and then, close friends, family members, and their plus ones. It was quite evident who Vern cared about more.Â
And of course, following the actions of most recent events, who could forget the turtles?Â
Thankfully, his invitations were denied by a large majority of the supposed recipients. It really was a nice party, the bulk of the larger figures having not showed up. It was much easier to find friends and acquaintances in this ostentatious mess.
The celebration was held at night, a large portion of Vernâs venue held outside in the cool air. He had heaters strategically placed, not visible, but blasted to a high enough temperature to where they were easily noticeable against the freezing cold.Â
Most people gathered near the fountain. It was a massive limestone structure, easily nine feet tall, with water spilling down its three tiers. The sound of it filled the space, quiet; but loud enough to enjoy as simple background noise. Conversation and clinking glasses would soon easily add to this ambience. Soft lights glowed from inside the waterfall, turning the water a warm gold and casting the same iridescent lighting over anyone standing nearby.Â
Strings of tiny bulb lights were strung across the open sky overheadâeverywhere you looked, looping from beam to beam until the stars were merely just distractions. Were there even stars up there anymore? Railings and trellises were adorned with fairy lights, which replaced any need for normal fixtures. Tables with rich linen cloth circled the lobby area, individually. The walls were covered in vertical gardens, flowers spilling downward in neat rows. In a few places, marble panels had been carved out to make room for thin waterfalls, water sliding down polished stone purely for the sake of atmosphere and photo opportunities.Â
There were also many expensive vendors present! Each had their own designated spot within the venue: steak chefs, seafood boilers, and even a chocolate fountain. The bartenders were what Vern seemed proudest of. Each specialist was dressed sharply and stocked with an overwhelming selection of bottles and concoctions that have yet to be revealed to the public. The man heard luxury; the man automatically clicked buy.
A mansion-like building towered above the venue, just distant enough to make it feel separate, yet close enough for New York to feel very much nearby. From the terrace, you could see the skyline stretching out below, golden fireworks already popping in the distance as people gathered for the countdown. The city glowed in the majestic way it always did.Â
New York was loud; New York was alive.Â
New York had three hours until the four turtles had officially been inducted into society as formally recognized âheroes.âÂ
êêêê
Upon their arrival, Leonardo handled their entrance the best.
He stayed near the edge of the terrace. Posture straight as always, arms folded loosely across his chest. His eyes never stopped moving. Splinter had taught him that. He kept track of exits, counted security guards, noted the way the crowd would whisper and sneer every time someone important arrived. Still, there was something softer about him this particular evening; despite his straight posture, his shoulders werenât as tense. When someone approached to thank himâquietly, genuinelyâhe nodded and listened instead of brushing them off. Leo was making an attempt to enjoy himself, but he hadnât really decided whether he liked all of this yet. Vernâs extravagant parties. Maybe just Vern in general. He has yet to think about that oneâŠ
Raphael hovered closer to the building itself, half inside and half out, not really committing to either room, moreover just looking for people to chat with. He didnât like just standing around doing nothing. Talking with people was weird, yeah, but heâd get over it... eventually! He wasnât a fan of the higher powers that actually did end up making an appearance; he could tell only one sentence in when someone was a rich snob. It wasnât that hard. He just spent time munching on free food and indulging in the occasional game of pool.Â
Michelangelo bounced between every group he could find. While he, alongside Raph, was not a fan of the celebrities that showed up, he did try to snap a picture with each of them, that fanboy at heart, he was. By the end of the night, the food vendors would have been absolutely ravished of their stock. Not his problem! If wasting Vernâs money like this would be an annual thing, hell, heâd be here every time. He soaked this up. It was exactly the kind of night heâd been waiting for.
Donatello, meanwhile⊠seemed to regret showing up at all.Â
He lingered near Mikey at first, mostly because it gave his twitchy hands a break from the total freak-out he felt the second they walked in. That didnât go on for too long, as Mikey had spontaneously spotted April at the bar; he had something âsooo privateâ he had to ask her, and Donnie was not allowed to follow. He was left alone. Consequently, the slider was rather observant tonightâ dare I say, more observant than Leo.
Were he and his brothers supposed to have dressed up? He was just wearing his typical cargo pants, thick-framed glasses, and tech gear, just like any other night. Everyone else looked so much better. Shit. They should have tried.Â
The other peopleâ humans, Donnie would thinkâ looked so much better. Hair so perfectly slicked back, posture defined; these people clearly work out. (He corrected himself on that thought, thoughâ he found it silly to be critiquing himself for that.) At least the wide majority didnât act like rich snobs. Well, maybe they were snobs, they just pretended not to be? Yeah. Thatâs likely.Â
 It was just⊠the effort people had put into their outfits was so so painstakingly, disgustingly obvious! The purple turtle and his brothers couldnât exactly participate in all of these formal incapabilities. He sighed. Loudly enough that maybe someone would hear it, Donnie had hoped.
Quit diverting your focus, heâd think. What if something happened nearby? They needed to be ready. Being useful and practical was way more important than being socially acceptable.
Stop it. That was dumb. Youâre perfectly fine⊠yeah, you look fine. Just wander around until someone you know pops up. Â
Meandering some more, Donnie found his hands fidgeting. Picking at some dead, shedding skin, adjusting the strap on his bo staff, literally anything that would ground him in this huge and unfamiliar place. He kept watching the crowd, desperate to find some form of a half-stable structure in the mess.
His eyes, finally, wandered upon you.Â
Oh, he knew you.Â
He knew you well.Â
You two went waaaayyyy back.
But he couldnât exactly talk to you before he got caught up in some other fuckass issue he really didnât want to deal with.
âHeyâuh, youâre Donatello, right?â
The woman had appeared at his side without warning. NYPD dress uniform, jacket folded neatly over one arm, badge still clipped to her waistband like sheâd forgotten to take it off. Maybe she was showing it off? Hmm. She smiled in a way that suggested sheâd practiced this in a mirror. Donnie was startled upon her pop-up, nearly smacking her with the end of his bo staff as he turned!
âOhâyes. Hi. Thatâsâuh. Thatâs me,â he said quickly, already stiffening.
âOh, wow,â she said, âyouâre taller than I expected.â
Donnie blinked. âOh. Uhâthank you?â
She laughed, eyeing him up and down. He couldnât pinpoint the reason. âRelax. I mean it as a compliment. Iâve seen you guys on the news, but youâre⊠different in person.â
He nodded, unsure what the correct response was supposed to be here, exactly?
âWell, that would make sense, the cameras April and her team use donât really account for ourââ
âMust be weird,â she continued, voice lowering, âbeing everyoneâs hero all of a sudden.â She stepped closerânot enough to be obvious, just enough to shrink the space between them. But Donnie noticed.Â
âI donâtâ we donât really think of it like that, itâs more of a⊠general thing weâve done since we were kids,â he rambled.
Iffy. Uncomfortable. Thatâs how this conversation made him feel.Â
âMmh.â Her eyes lingered on his glasses.âYouâre the smart one, right? The brains.â
âI⊠suppose.â The turtle shifted his weight.
âI like that,â she said easily. âSmart men donât usually get enough appreciation.â
Oh, hell no. Back off!
She reached out, fingers brushing his arm as if by accident. âDo you ever get time to yourself? Off patrol, I mean.â
Yeah, that was it. That was when his discomfort had officially spiked.Â
âIâ No thank you, Iâm usually pretty busy,â he replied, a little too fast.
She smiled again, slower this time. âThatâs a shame. I was thinking maybe you and I could grab a drink later. Somewhere quieter?âÂ
Her thumb traced the seam of some holster-like piece of gear he had on his arm. She held it out for a minute, ignoring the uncomfortable look upon Donnieâs face. âIâd love to hear more about what you do.â
Well, then. Watch the news, he thought.
He opened his mouth. Closed it again. His eyes flicked past her shoulder.
That was when you waved.
âIâno, I meanânot no, justâuhââ Donnie gently but firmly eased her hand away, an awkward smile stretched tight across his face. âIâm actuallyâexpected elsewhere. Right now. Immediately. Very immediately.â
Mercifully, you caught his eye again from across the terrace. A slight chuckle on your lips. You couldnât hear exactly what was going on, but you could assume.Â
You raised your brows, then tilted your head toward the fountain, making an exaggerated come here motion with two fingers. You did this in hopes he would take it; it was an easy out for him in this little interruption. When that didnât work fast enough, you added a dramatic little wave, enthusiastically mouthing something that looked suspiciously like a get over here!
Donnie nearly fell over with relief.
âHey, waitâwhere are you headed? Can I grab your contact info before you go?â The woman proceeded, following him. She stayed right with him, matching his pace, shoulder brushing his now and again. Every time he glanced toward the direction he was pointing, she adjusted, keeping herself in his line of sight. This officer was not taking no for an answer!
âOh! Yesâthat,â he blurted, pointing at you far too obviously. âThatâsâsheâsâ that girl over there, see her?âimportant. Very important. I have to go. Please go.âÂ
You held your hands behind your back politely as he shuffled over, the officer watching the exchange with mild and visible frustration with the turtle before letting it go. Donnie didnât look back. He didnât stop moving until he was standing in front of you, breath uneven, shoulders tight. Even when he was heaving and slouched over, he still stood at a colossal height. You held back your laugh until heâd completely blocked your view of the officer.
âThank you,â he muttered under his breath, pushing his glasses up his nose. âThat was⊠actual hell. Never again.â
And then he finally got a chance to look at you properly.
YouâŠ. your outfit.
The dress you wore collided with your skin tone in such a gentle, beautiful manner. The sparkling grape-purple material flowed delicately down the sides of your hips, highlighting your features in a way everyone could notice and admire. The straps of the dress were designed to look almost strapless, the sleeves loosely draping to the sides of your shouldersâlikely the way it was made, intended to be worn. A clear, almost iridescent, invisibly lavender-toned set of heels, which only heightened you by a few inches, throned your feet.Â
It didnât give you much more length. Yet you looked so different from usual. In a good way. Godâsuch a good way. He wasnât complaining!
In contrast to his own everyday ensemble, yes. He was astronomically underdressed. Did you care? No. There was absolutely nothing in this world that could make you care.Â
êêêê
The two of you had met through some really, really unexpected circumstances. It was an accidentâ though, a lovely accident that you would never regret.Â
Youâd been in Aprilâs apartment, checking in on a new cat sheâd adopted over the summer. She was gone for about a week, and you had taken the liberty of feeding⊠âMr. Purrito.â You had some critiques for that catâs name, but he was a cutie. It didnât matter.
Regardless, you had been in the wrong place at the wrong timeâ Donnie had also dropped in to help fix some technological issue that she was having ever since she had moved into her own place. April had called him earlier about her Wi-Fi acting up again. And she just happened to forget to mention that a specific someone else would be there.
He was clearly just as startled as you were, if not⊠more. His hands were fumbling as he tripped over his words, hands finally raising quickly in panic that you would panic. You did. For a second. It took a few minutes to settle in what the hell was going on, but it was him who talked you through the whole situation! Not really calming you down, necessarily, but providing an explanation as to what you were seeing.Â
Mr. Purrito, entirely unbothered by the presence of a giant mutant turtle, immediately took a liking to this familiar face, circling his legs and demanding attention. You watched Donnie lean down for a quick second to scratch the cat behind its ears.Â
As you listened to his rambling, you kept your distance. Donnie didnât push for you to interact with him any more than you already had. He stayed where he was, talking too much in his verbose, overly detailed way that drew you in; you found yourself shocked that you hadnât run away in absolute terror. You didnât want to. He was too⊠nice. Approachable, you would describe itâ if he was someone you would actually see out in the streets of New York, everyday. But he wasnât. He explained why he was there once more, then apologizedâthe last time, nowâfor startling you.Â
And from there on out, he had somehow managed to make himself a part of your daily life.Â
The turtle didnât integrate himself on purpose. It just kept happening. Meeting himâ running into him, in lieu of April. She had demanded that they needed to meet and trust new people; hell, youâd already met him, why not?Â
On a few rare occasions, you had a gut feeling it wasnât really the purple brother you were seeing hopping buildings atop of alleyways; likely, he had told one of his brothers about a human encounter he had experienced⊠it was probably Leo or Raph debating on whether or not to come and threaten you the same way they did April. She had told them to back off; Donnie advising the same, too.
The two of you had gotten along like it was a match made in heaven. The majority of your interactions were at Aprilâs apartment, the three of you becoming something of a trioâ but in the same way that he and April hung out, and she and you hung out, Donnie and you had a connection outside of April, too.Â
Your most common meeting place was the alley behind a coffee shop. Youâd swipe some coffeeâor tea, in your caseâand heâd grab his preferred caffeine, along with a little radio heâd built himself, and youâd wander up to the hill by the old drive-in. Watching from afar was nice. Beautiful, this way; watching as the sunset would fade behind buildings. Youâd talk about anything. Science, music, movies, the dumbest little things⊠heâd nerd out about silly topics and youâd find yourself smiling at any word that had been uttered from his lips. Youâd throw in the occasional bad joke, punch each other lightly, laugh quietly so no one else would hear. If anyone happened to look over at you and Donnie, one of you would quickly cover the other's mouth, followed by a snicker from the one whose mouth was now covered. And sometimes, when one was zoned out and attentive to the movie, the other would shy their eyes and stare longingly at their company for the night.
Most of the time, neither of you were caught. Most of the time.
That continued for months. Months would spiral into years. All of this was nearing half a decade ago, now.
When Donnie was alone, tampering aimlessly with some piece of tech, heâd think about you.Â
When you were alone, staring at the ceiling as you ached for sleep, youâd think about him.Â
None of you said a word about this⊠not a single, uttered word.Â
The both of you just let it linger and allowed it to hurt. Hope was truly your only way of coping in this situation.
êêêê
âDonnie?â You interrupted. He seemed to be in a daze.
He nodded, eyes drifting briefly back to the crowd before returning to you. The turtle resumed his speaking. âHey, do youâum. Want to walk around? This place is huge. It might be more productive than standing still.â He spun a little in place, the pieces of gear he'd brought with him tonight bobbing on his back as he did so.
âIâd like that,â you said easily.
You fell into step beside him, moving through the venue like you always didâside by side, talking about nothing and everything. The lights reflected off the fountain as you passed, music swelling and fading as you crossed different spaces. You people-watched for a bit, noticing how everyone was really in their own zone, here. Donnie found himself relaxing without realizing it, his thoughts quieter when he focused on you instead.Â
âHere, give me your arm,â you said, your heels thankfully giving you enough height to reach your own up to his, looping your wrist under his elbow. Your eyes darted around the premise quickly, a tiny part inside of you hoping that the officer had seen. Maybe you just wanted her to feel some pang of jealousy that you had known him first. Maybe you were just being an ass.Â
Donnie froze for half a second when you took his arm. He was used to you touching him, gentle touches, casual things. Passing him cards from a game, handing him a screwdriver, the basics.
He wanted to take some superglue and permanently stick your much smaller hands to his much much bigger arm. While it took him a minute to adjust to this warm feeling, he relished it; didnât want you to let go. He encased your arm a little tighter.Â
The two of you kept walking, your pace unhurried, weaving through clusters of guests. Donnie angled his body slightly without thinking, guiding you around tighter spaces, away from a server carrying a tray of champagne, around a group of laughing strangers who had already had far too much to drink.
Your eyes flicked toward the crowd again, and there she wasânear the bar, nursing a drink, gaze drifting just a little too invasively in your direction. You leaned in closer to Donnie, lowering your voice.
Glancing up at him, you gave a teasing murmur: "Hey, Dee⊠your girl's looking."
He resisted the urge to look immediately. Failed. His eyes darted over, caught her glance, and he winced. âOh. Great.â As his eyes started to wander throughout the venue, looking for something interesting, anything interesting to lay his eyes on that wasnât the officer; his eyes landed on you, instead. Only for a moment. You didnât lock eyes, but he did want to keep staring. Heâd stare as long as youâd like, if you allowed him to.Â
âSheâs still looking over here,â you murmured. âI donât know what sheâs thinking. Her facial expression is making it hard to tell. Itâs all over the place. I kinda feel bad,â you joke, your eyes, too, darting around; ending up watching the fountainâs coordinated performance with the music.Â
âAh. I wouldnât feel bad,â he said. âShe sort of chased me out here when I asked her to leave. It was more of a plea, though. She was a very determined individual.â
âOh. I didnât see that. Guess sheâs a persistent one, then.â A slight chuckle escaped his lips.Â
âYeah, clearly. Iâm trying my hardest not to look back. It feels weird with all of this attention, canât say Iâm particularly enjoying it.âÂ
âWell, youâre doing a bad job.â You teased him. Of course he wasnât, he was perfect at everything he did or even tried to do.Â
âShh. Iâm doing my best,â he nudges you playfully.Â
You tilted your head just enough to peek over your shoulder. The officer stood near the bar, posture relaxed, eyes decidedly not. Her gaze tracked the two of you as you moved.
âShe looks very⊠intrigued? Her eyes havenât left anywhere youâve been,â you added. Again, a pang of jealousy hit your heart. Were you supposed to feel like this anytime someone even made a mere mention of dating him?Â
Jesus, that felt so wrong to say. Possessive, almost. All four of the boys had just been resurfaced as heroes and the first thing that came to your mind when someone wanted to get closer to them was no. Well, just the one. Donnie. Heâs all that mattered to you right now.Â
Be more accepting! Let him branch out to other people, youâd think. But you didnât want to. God, if that thought could be banned from your head, youâd do it; but the only reason it was being let in was for Donnieâs benefit. Theyâd never had a chance to branch out in this way; much less, date people! Fuck. This felt wrong⊠limiting him with your thoughts.Â
Jealousy. Thatâs what this was. Plain and pure.Â
Donnie sighed. âI hate this.â
âHate what?â
âBeing stared at⊠and treated like Iâm some kind of object. That cop, mostly.â He hesitated. âPeople donât know when to back off. Especially when Iâm already here with someone.â
Your heart stuttered. Oh. âWith someone?â you echoed, then smiled, careful to keep it light. âDonnie, did you come with a date?â
He blinked. âI meanâ with you. Not likeââ He stopped, cheeks warming. âSorry. That came out wrong.âÂ
You laughed, soft and quiet, and gently slipped your arm from his, giving him space instead of tension. âYou didnât sneak anyone in, did you?â The edge of your elbow nudges him softly.
âTrust me⊠youâd be the first to know.â He leans over and murmurs to you.
âŠYou would be the first to know, Donnie thought. Youâd certainly be the only one to know, considering if heâd actually gone through with his previous plans and asked you hereâunlike the spineless coward he had been lately. Yes. Yes, youâd be the first to know that he was bringing someone along with him tonight. That person could have been you. Should have been you.Â
âAre you hungry? Iâm hungry. Letâs go eat, maybe Mikey hasnât completely cleared out the vendors of their stock yet,â Trying to change the subject, Donnie gently took your hand, which youâd just undone from his arm, and led you toward the food tables.
As the turtle dragged you along the line of food vendors, you quickly stepped in your heels to keep up with him; almost tripping over yourself. You didnât care. Nothing really mattered when you were with him. So many food variants caught your eye. Steak, sushi, calamari, some fifty dollar ice cream stand that wasnât included in the venue, the self-serve chocolate fountain youâd seen earlierâ
âStop. Donnie, stop!â Immediately upon request, the turtle stopped in his tracks, leaving a little dirt on his feet from the quick halt in the grass. âWhat? Are you okay, whatâs wrong?â
âSorry. Iâm fine, but, look at that chocolate fountain,â you said, eyes lighting up. âWe have to try it. I think thatâs like⊠a rich people thing. Please?â A breath from Donnie. He thought you were in trouble, despite being in his hands this whole time.
"I'm down for sugar any day of the week, just sound less in danger next time, (y/n)." He chuckled as the two of you swiftly made your way to the short line of people waiting for the fountain. Upon arrival, the delicate brown tray below the fountain was layered with an assortment of dippables: graham crackers, marshmallows, strawberries, and cherriesâyour typical variety.
You took a stick from the table the fountain rested on, handing one to Donnie. Taking a strawberry and skewering it onto your stick, you immersed the fruit under the chocolate fountain; allowing the liquid to completely drown the berry. Donnie, with a different approach, took two graham crackers, laid them on a plate, and then doused a marshmallow in a thorough chocolate coat from his stick.
âOoooh, that was smart.â You mumbled, eyeing his makeshift smore as you shoved the now chocolate covered strawberry into your full mouth. You looked almost like a squirrel in the springtime, hastily shoving acorns into its mouth for a later harvest. That made him grin, quietly, a little fondly. The turtle looked away.Â
He took a careful bite of his sâmore, then tilted his head toward you. âYeah⊠youâre missing out. I could make another if you want?â
Happily, you would have accepted the items to make your own s'more; the idea of it was intriguing after a sweeter berry! You hesitated for a moment, then smiled. âIf you want to surrender yourself to that labor, sure. Iâll take it.â
Donnie's eyes flicked to the table. âOhâGod, damnit! I ate the last of the graham crackers.â
You shrugged. âIâll survive.â
Instead, he gave you the one he had already eaten; still over half of the sâmore left, as if he knew you would have wanted to try some of his food. âYou want the rest of this? I think I can bear to part with it.â
âWhy would I want your half-eaten sâmore, Donnie?â
âBecause you said it was good. And thereâs no graham crackers left. Simple deduction skills, really. Itâs not that hard.â He teased, pulling out a chair for you at a nearby table; leaning over to grab a few more fruits from the fountain. Cherries, bananas, and some more strawberries for the two of you to munch on. He grabbed a few of the bigger marshmallows, too.Â
You slid into the chair, careful not to spill any chocolate on your dress, while Donnie dropped into the one across from you. The small table was private, tucked slightly behind the fountain, giving the two of you some more space out and away from the loud and atmospheric party. He carefully arranged the fruit on a small plate between you, handing you a strawberry first.
âHere, you can take the bigger one. It looks good,â he said, voice soft, tone light and gentle; the way he'd always spoken with you. The way he's spoken with you since forever ago. You took it, handing him the smaller cherry in return.Â
You watchedâ when you should have looked awayâ as he took his teeth, dragging the fruit off of its stem, taking a few moments to tie a knot with said stem, and then placing it back on the plate.
You lean back in your chair, letting your gaze linger on him longer than you probably should. The way his fingers twist that miniscule cherry stemâslow, precise, god, this feels like teasing? It feels impossibly intimate, and you canât stop the warm little butterflies that soar deep within your stomach. Why am I thinking about this? You chastise yourself. Itâs just a cherry stem. Just a stupid cherry stem. But the way he so easily handles itâŠ? Shit. This is the stupidest thing to be attracted to.
You can tell Donnie catches you watching, but he doesn't seem bothered.
If anything, he looks curious. Intrigued. How long can he keep you staring for? You don't want to pull away, either, but the longer you watch, the more your thoughts wander. What else can those dexterous hands do? What would it feel like, having those fingers run over your skinâ
Stop.
You swallow. Shake your head a little. He's your best friend.Â
Cut. It. Out.
After a few minutes of genuine conversing, and an eventual brief silence, Donnie speaks up again. âSooo,â he says, crossing his legs, accidentally bumping the table, and your own feet; âyou glad you came?â
âYeah. I think so.â
âThink so?â he repeats, just testing how much you meant it.
âMm, Iâm iffy about big gatherings like these.â You tilt your head. âWhat about you?â
He exhales through his nose, almost a laugh. âIâm not a party guy. You know that.â
âI know, I know. You only came because your brothers did.âÂ
Only partially, he would think. Primarily because of you.Â
The party was also socially required, at this point. If he didnât come⊠heâd likely still be considered an outcast.
He doesnât correct you. Doesnât agree, either. Just reaches for another marshmallow, getting his hands dirty as he douses it in more chocolate and tosses it into his mouth. You mimic his actions, grabbing a smaller marshmallow and doing the same.Â
âYeah,â he says finally. âThatâs⊠part of it.â
You hum, unconvinced but letting it go. The music swells somewhere closer now, laughter spilling across the lawn in sporadic fits. From here, tucked behind the fountain, it all feels distantâlike youâre watching the party instead of being in it. Alone was nice. But, alone with Donnie was better.
You saw Leo drinking something in a corner, eyeing Raph and Mikey throwing darts; they were kicking some other manâs ass at it, the same way they were likely doing in their previous game of pool. April hung around Casey, talking to some of his NYPD friends; but Vern was nowhere to be seen. Donnieâs eyes followed to where yours were settled.Â
Even when his entire group had been corralled together, he still chose to be with you.
âIâm kind of surprised you havenât bailed.â You say softly. âI wouldnât blame you if you did. People are far too busy with their formal nonsense to notice⊠hiding out seems fairly appealing right now, actually.â
Donnie snorts. âWhat, and miss this?â He gestures vaguely between the two of you, the half-empty plate, the faint smear of chocolate on his knuckle. âYeah. Tragic loss.â
âTruly sweeping me off my feet here, Don.â You tease.Â
âThey would notice. Vern made a big deal about this party being some commencement for me and my brothers officially entering the new year as heroes or some bullshit. Whatever his tagline was.â Donnie leans down a little bit to slouch in his chair, rubbing the sides of his head in the midst of the action. He really was done and tired of this party; wanting to leave, but given so many undesirable reasons to resist doing so. âAlsoâminor detailâIâm huge. Me leaving would be exceedingly noticeable. No Irish-goodbye for me.â He groans quietly. âAnd Leo already said this was mandatory, so if I bail, Iâm dead.â
âI think Leo needs to get over himself, then.â You chuckle. âHow tall are you? Seven feet?â
â6â8. But Iâll let seven slide.â He smiles at you.
A waiter passes your table, pausing briefly to offer champagne. You wave him off politely. Donnie declines.
The two of you share another round of dessert, taking turns with the remaining pieces of fruit and the marshmallows, eating in a comfortable quiet. The sounds of the party were muted enough for you to pretend like it was just the two of you.Â
The sky had grown darker. The city, still loud and bright, was a constant buzz around the terrace. Fireworks were still being lit, popping every minute or so, filling the air with a stark feeling of anticipation. The party was winding down. It wouldn't be long before the guests were crowding the lawn, ready to count the seconds until the ball drop.
A beat of silence.Â
"You wanna ditch?" you ask, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.Â
"God, yes. Let's go." The two of you rise simultaneously.
You follow Donnie as he leads you out of the crowd, moving in the opposite direction of the main gate. When the music fades behind you, he glances over his shoulder, eyes flashing with a hint of mischief. He slows just enough for you to catch up, his arm brushing yours, and when he reaches the edge of the terrace, he stops. An annoyingly average-sized figure stood in his way.Â
âOh. Hey there, Vern.â Donnie stutters, pausing and faltering in his tracks. âWhatâs, uh, whatâs going on?â
âTrying to get out of here already? Come on, man. Only an hour til the ball drops! Whereâs the fun in that, huh?â Vern raises his half-empty glass of whiskey towards the crowd, all gathered near the floral-adorned garden. Though it overlooked the rest of Times Square, the view was hard to appreciate with so many people crowding the space for photos.
Vernâs eyes slide past Donnie for a split second, landing squarely on you. His smirk tightens, like heâs already won a victory of some sort.
âAh, there you are!â He says, voice smooth, a touch condescending. He slips past Donnie for a second, his arm caressing around your shoulderâ bringing you closer to him as if he wanted to pull you away to chat. âI was beginning to wonder if Iâd have to send someone to find you.â
You blink, caught off guard. Donnie stiffens beside you, albeit slightly, he still stays near as Vern tries to pull you away.
Don reached over and gently grabbed your wrist. You had a feeling it wasn't to bring you closer; he was likely debating on whether or not to tug you back, but ultimately decided against doing so. He just held it. The wind blew on his face for a brief moment as he decided to slowly interlace his three fingers in your the best he could, which you allowed. You were used to it. In bigger crowds, he did this sometimes, clinging in small, quiet ways whenever he could. It was most likely an anxiety response. Â
Vern, however, had caught the motion. He glanced down at your hand, then to Donnie, then back to you.
A very slow smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.
"Don't tell me that you two areâ"
"No!" The turtle exclaimed. "No, we're not. I promise, it's nothing, she's justâ"
"Just a friend." You finish, slipping your wrist out of Donnie's grasp. "But thank you for your concern," he added, continuing the thought.
Vern gave a dismissive scoff. âYeah, whatever, Iâm not gonna open that can of worms tonight. Anyways, (y/n)! I promised you five months ago Iâd get you in touch with the manager of that company you were interested in,â He hunched down a little bit, like he was ecstatic to tell you something like a little child would be. âHeâs here tonight. I told him youâd meet with him.â
Fuck.Â
About five months ago, you'd talked with Vern. You'd somehow been cornered into a conversation about careers, which was absurd coming from himâa man famous but hardly knowledgeable in any field! He used to be a reporter alongside April, but that was long gone. To escape, you'd made up an excuse, mentioning a desire to work for a more "prestigious" company. Vern, annoyingly, claimed he knew just the person. You needed to get out of that interaction. His severe lack of connection to reality was starting to piss you off. Desperate to end that whole conversation, you'd impulsively asked him to make the connection, so you could leave.
Now, karma was a real bitch. You actually had a decent job nowâ an even better one, at that. But he just wouldnât let it go.
âThatâs sweet, Vern, but I have a better job now. I donât really need to talk to anybody at the moment.â You shrug him off, trying to move closer to Donnie.
He moves closer, too, blocking you. His arm stays wrapped around your shoulders.
"Hey. It's a quick meeting. He's waiting on the terrace by the fountain." Vern says.
You glance toward the terrace, spotting a man in a navy-blue suit. He holds a flute of champagne, and his eyes scan the crowd, looking for someone. You. You swallow.
"No. Thank you. I appreciate it, though," you say firmly, shaking your head.
His smile slips. "It'll take two minutes. Just go and talk to him. I've got a lot of pull in this town, (y/n). Do yourself a favor and get on his good side."
His voice is casual. Pleasant, even. But his fingers dig into your shoulder a little, just enough for you to get pissed off enough to leave.
Donnie notices, too.
"Two minutes. Go on," he repeats.Â
âFine. I donât want to hear about any more connections, then, Vern. I came to have fun, not for business antics.â You groaned, disappointed that you had to let go of the turtle next to you. Oh, how you were going to verbally beat his ass once he was finished hosting this stupid party.Â
Donnie shifts closer to you, his tall form towering yours as he leans in. His voice drops.
âYou donât have to go and do this,â he says quietly. He wasnât pleading, not as much as he wanted to be. âIf you donât want to go, you donât go. He doesnât get to decide that.â You glance up at him, catching the seriousness in his eyes. It makes your chest tighten in a way you donât have time to unpack. You wanted to look at him more like this, you thought.Â
âI know,â you murmur. âBut if I donât, heâs gonna keep circling me all night. Tomorrow. Next week. Forever.â You sigh. âThis is easier. Heâs an ass. Itâll be two minutes and then Iâm done. We can leave.â
His grip around your wrist remained. He didnât want you to go, not when the look on your face was clearly one of resignation, not excitement. You wanted to give in to Vern, but he didnât want to let you. He wanted to keep you with him. He didnât want you to leave. Not when he finally had the one person he actually likes in this place right in his three-fingered grasp.Â
Donnieâs gaze shifted to Vern, the polite, reserved posture he usually maintained cracking just slightly around the edges. The whole coercion issue was ticking him off, but he was fighting the urge to let it show. An outburst here wouldn't help him. It certainly wouldn't help his standing with Vern, which, while already low, was still a necessary evil for the sake of his family's reputation.Â
It had gotten progressively worse these past few months. So, so much worse. Vern may have admitted to not being the sole hero of New York City against both the Kraang and Shredder, but heâs done worse things amidst these problems! He was starting to gain some sort of an attitude with the group of people that had actually saved the city. He was starting rumors about Casey, getting into an extra risky argument surrounding morality with Leo, and finally ended up getting some sense knocked into him after he said the wrong thing at the wrong time around Raph. That was after he had mumbled something extremely disrespectful about Splinter, though. Thatâs when the turtle's opinion on the guy began to change.Â
Vern had seemed to misinterpret Donnie's silence as grudging acceptance. Perhaps heâd seen it simply as a continuation of the general apathy Donnie usually displayed in social situations. The smug look on the hostâs face deepened, a clear sign that he felt his little power play had worked perfectly. Heâd gotten his way, and that was all that mattered to him.
You shouldâve said something, you idiot. Now sheâs gone. Great going.Â
"See? Just two minutes, big guy," Vern chirped, patting his other shoulder with an overly familiar hand, a gesture that made Donnieâs jaw clench. He watched as you walked off, searching for the man in the blue coat.
The casual, proprietary way Vern was acting around you grated on every one of Donnie's nerves. It was the same way he treated everything he considered an asset or a trophyâsomething to be shown off and leveraged. Vern was leveraging you, and the thought made a low, unfamiliar hum of protectiveness resonate in the turtle's chest. He knew Vern didn't care about your career. He only cared about proving his own influence.
"I'm just doing her a favor, Donatello! Donnie. D-dog. Networking. It's how the world works. Can't stick around eating chocolate-covered junk all night, right?" Vern's eyes, momentarily, met Donnie's, and in that fleeting second, he was just pissed. Straight-up pissed.
âWere you watching?â His voice went flat. âSerious question, Vern. Do you not have anything better to do? Nothing better than to sit around and watch two people live their life while your pathetic, self-engrossed mind enjoys it?â Donnie finally spoke, his voice dangerously low, stripped of its usual verbose flair. The intensity in his tone was enough to make Vern pause, the host's casual demeanor faltering for a beat. "You could have asked. She said she was happy with her job. You know what? You didn't even ask her, you told her. That's not a favor, Vern. Youâre not helping her. That's practically manipulation. Motherfuââ He cut himself off, jaw tight, trying not to keep going. Donnie's hand came up to clasp against his mouth, resulting in a following muffle sound. "âŠWhy did we even come to this stupid party?â
And Vern didn't hesitate. "Hey, hey, hey, what's with the sudden attitude, man? I'm helping her! Giving her a chance to move up. And I'm hosting this thing, which means I get to talk to her. It's not a crime."
"You didn't host shit, and no, that doesnât give you a right to speak to her like that." Donnie shot back, his frustration rising. "This whole thing was planned and organized by a dozen people before you had even heard the name. You didn't plan a damn thing. All you did was pick a date and pay for the food thatâs half-decent. For fuckâs sake, Vern, you couldnât even manage to keep your eyes off of us for two seconds!â
âThis is the best venue in the city. I had to make sacrifices. Iâve got other work to get to, anyway. You really expect me to do everything by myself?â Vern rolled his eyes, dismissive. He wasnât paying attention to the conversation. He never would.
âSheâll thank me later, once she lands a job that actually requires a nice dress. I mean, listen to her talkâshe can barely form a full sentence when youâre not around. No way sheâs getting a job that pays even half-decently with how quiet she is.â
That was it. That was the line.
Donnie stared, jaw slack, before his face hardened into a permanent scowl. The low growl that escaped his throat was unlike any sound Vern had ever heard from the usually composed turtle. He didnât even want to think about where that came from.
"You know what, Vern?" Donnieâs voice was dangerously quiet again, laced with pure, unfiltered rage. "Go fuck yourself. Seriously. Have fun with your âbest venue in the city.â Iâm out."
He didn't wait for a response. He didn't spare Vern another glance. He turned sharply and stalked away from the host, moving toward the edge of the venue, but not toward the exit. He needed to be alone. He needed to scream into a pillow. He needed to bash his bo staff into the nearest criminal, which, in his head, was Vern.
êêêê
Donnie had angrily strolled around that area for a solid two minutesâthe time youâd promised. He watched you from across the terrace, your conversation with the suited man seemingly cordial, though you kept glancing back toward the spot where he stood. He wasn't doing a very good job at blowing off steam⊠and this wasnât helping him much, either. The entire scene was like someone had taken a glue stick and permanently attached his gaze to your presence. He saw you offer a brief, firm handshake and then quickly turn away, heading back toward himâ but then you got caught in another crowd of rich, horrendously snobby businessmen.Â
From across the terrace, you caught his eye again. Your mouth formed a silent apology. Iâm sorry.
He shook his head once, sharp, and lifted a hand in a small, useless gesture. Smiling softly and covering his anger for you.Â
âTake your time,â he mouthed back. âItâs okay.â
Or maybe it wasnât. He wasnât sure anymore. The words came out a little stronger than he meant them to, pushed out with a breath. Mostly for you. A little for himself.
He needed space. The fury Vern had ignited was burning a hole in his stomach. It was fucking visceral; an unfamiliar feeling that demanded an outlet of some sort. He didn't head for the exit, the turtle knew that there would just be press waiting at that door with endless interview questions. Instead, he headed for a quiet corner, a place where he could perhaps breathe without the oppressive weight of anotherâs curiosity.Â
He found himself meandering toward the bar area.
It wasn't the main bar where April and Casey were, but a smaller caterer Vern had set up further out on the terraceâa gleaming, expensive vendorâs stand made of dark, polished wood and a sleek black metal. Maybe a strong, overly caffeinated concoction would reset his brain. It was fully stocked, though it was likely just another luxury designed to impress. Sleek bottles of liquor glowed under the soft lights, manned by sharply dressed mixologists who looked extremely bored serving champagne and cocktails.
Donnie would lean against the counter, back to the crowd, staring blankly at the impressive array of expensive, colorful bottles. Crowds all around him, and he still felt exposed, conspicuous, and alone. His internal monologue was a rapid-fire bullet of self-criticism: You should have been firmer with Vern. You should have just grabbed her hand and walked away. You're a coward. You let her walk into that.
âJust⊠strong, thanks,â he said quietly, giving the bartender just enough to go on.
He went with whatever the bartender suggestedâsome citrusy cocktail that tasted like nothing but enough to wipe his mind for a bit. The bartender had warned him about something, but the slider had shoved it offâ clearly too focused on something else. He didnât want to hear what the mixologist had to say about the mysterious drink.Â
He barely even heard the warning the guy muttered about the potencyâ how the drink was a special one made for tonight, a drink that was specifically concocted and adjusted to the levels of tolerance the turtles likely had. The other guests to the party tonight were not allowed to order this drinkâ the mixologist had said something about it being his âlucky day.â Donnie did not listen.Â
Heâd missed most of it, actually. By the time the bartender was finished talking, his cocktail was halfway down. After that, it was drink⊠after drink⊠after drinkâŠ
êêêê
Donnie had a complicated relationship with alcohol. While he rarely drank sociallyâdue to his social skills and the fact that most human recreational drugs or intoxicants didn't mix well with a 6â8" mutant turtle's physiologyâhe knew his body handled it surprisingly well. His much larger liver, combined with a metabolism that could burn through just about anything, meant that it took a significant volume of spirits to even register a buzz. More often than heâd like to admit, Donnie would occasionally take that to his advantage.Â
It had been about a year ago, when he figured this out. Heâd been having a night where he was pulling a 72-hour shift in his lab, fueled by cold pepperoni pizza and three types of caffeine. Espresso. Energy drinks. Melatonin. Heâd become immune to practically all of it. To make things worse, his main monitor had just flashed an irreparable system crash, wiping not oneâ not two, but three weeks of simulation data.Â
That night, pissed and willing to try anything, Donnie decided to drink. Something. Anything to get his mind off of this sinking feeling. He doesn't remember where he even found alcohol, but he does recall the outcome: eight solid hours of a knocked-out slumber on his cot. He recalled feeling slightly tipsy, but he was always mindful of his intakeâhe knew his limits, Donnie always knew his limits. He simply needed a bit of a reprieve that night. That's all.
êêêê
Donnie's gaze finally drifted from the spot where you had stood. Though the hope of your return still burned, he knew a long while would pass before it happened. He was standing near the bar when a warm, familiar presence settled beside him. Turning to face him would serve a useless point. He could sense those neon colors from miles away. Although, he usually heard him, first.
"Heyyy, bro. Uhh, rough night?"
That voice was soft. Something he, admittedly, needed. Donnie didnât need to turn to know it was Mikey. His youngest brother slid onto the stool next to him, a half-eaten plate of what looked like miniature sandwiches in his hand. His brother in orange was wearing a brightly colored, probably Hawaiian-themed shirt under his shell, a very⊠clear contrast to the formal wear of the other guests! He was the only one who seemed entirely unbothered by this unorthodox setting. Donnie had to give him points for that.Â
Donnie sighed, taking a long, bitter sip of his drink. "Define 'rough.' If 'rough' means being treated like a novelty, having a police officer try to proposition me in front of all these people, and then watching Vern bully the only genuinely good person here into a fake business meeting, then yes, Michael. Itâs been rough."
Mikey offered him a sandwich, which Donnie politely declined. "Oh, yeah, I saw the officer thing. That sucks, D. Also saw the Vern thing. Dudeâs a total a-hole." Mikey took a large bite, chewing thoughtfully. "Did you tell him that you guys were together?"
Donnie nearly choked on his cocktail. "What? No! Why would Iâ"
"Dude, you were holding her hand like she was gonna float away. And you looked like you wanted to turn Vern into some, I donât know, dust, or something. Not that I blame you. But still, you like her, Donnie. Like, like-like. It's written all over your ugly green nerd face." Mikeyâs eyes were wide and innocent, yet his words still deduced that his advice most certainly was not applicable to Donnieâs situation.Â
âThank you. Thatâs so encouraging,â He scoffed. Donnie scrubbed a hand over his face, pushing his glasses up his nose in frustration. "Even if I had said something, It's not that simple, Mikey. We're mutant turtles. We are not like everyone else here. She's... normal. She deserves normal. She deserves someone who can take her out to dinner without the interruption of patrol. Or, better yet, someone who can actually intervene and stop her from doing things she doesnât want to do!" His fingers hook the rim of his glass, squeezing, releasing, squeezing again. The fidgeting ramps up. âAnd even if I had said somethingâif Iâd actually opened my mouthâIâd just screw it up. I always do. I'm a mess. I'm a socially inept, verbose, overthinking mess. She's too good for the kind of emotional wreckage I'd bring into her life. I couldnât say shit to Vern until she was gone, and now sheâs stuck blabbering to some rich-ass about a job offer she doesnât want."Â
Mikey slid off the stool and turned to face his brother, abandoning the sandwiches entirely. There was a stinging sensation on Donnieâs shoulders; Mikey had taken the liberty of squeezing them as hard as humanly possible.
"Donnie, dude, listen to yourself! You think she hangs out with you for half a decade because she's scared of 'emotional wreckage'? Huh?â The purple turtle stared blankly back at his brother. âOh my god. She's here, at Vern's gross party, right now, just because you are. She's been choosing you for years. Raph and I are literally betting on it. She likes you, dude. If she cared about the whole mutant deal, sheâd be gone by now. So many people have. She likes you. The real you, bro." He nudged Donnie's arm gently. "So stop over-thinking it."Â
Donnie hunched back in his chair. âMikey, what the fuck are you betting on? Me and her? Are you serious?â Another sip of the drink before he set it down.Â
He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "And you guys are not helping. Nottt, no. Not at all⊠This is my life, and this is her life. And Vern just made it ten times worse."
"I'm just saying! The point is that you gotta say something. Or do something! Not just let Vern walk all over her! If you donât, you might as well let that officer try to drag you off to a dark corner." Mikeyâs expression shifted, the usual playful glint in his eyes replaced by a more serious, earnest look. "Look, Dee. You're my brother. And I love you. But sometimes, lotsâof times, you're a coward. And this is one of those times. So! You can either be the turtle who mopes at the bar because some guy was a jerk to the girl he likes, or you can be the turtle who does something about it. Your call."
He took one of the sandwiches off his plate and held it up like a peace offering. "Also, you should probably eat this. That drink looks dangerous. And you're starting to slur your words."
Donnie blinked, a wave of delayed dizziness washing over him as he processed Mikeyâs claim. Had he been?Â
âI am⊠I am not slurring my words,â he insisted, though the sentence felt clumsy on his tongue. He took another swallow of the cocktail, the citrusy burn doing little to ground him. Mikey just raised an eyebrow, taking a bite of his sandwich. âYeah. Sure.â The orange slider would add.
âAlright, well, just listen to your heart, bro. I donât care about the bet that much. Just do what makes you happy. And donât get too tipsy, mâkay? Love ya. Donât add or subtract to the population. Also, donât die. Bye!âÂ
And with that, Mikey was gone, disappearing back into the crowd, leaving Donnie alone with his swirling thoughts and the rapidly diminishing cocktail. He stared into the glass, the colors blurring slightly at the edges. He had to give Mikey credit; he was right. He was a coward. Heâd spent years hiding behind some invisible barrier, too terrified to risk what he had with you for a chance at something more.
êêêê
Meanwhile, on the terrace near the fountain, your own situation was devolving into a corporate interrogation.
The managerâ Mr. Sterlingâwas not talking about a job. He was talking about his own company, his yacht, his divorce, and his vision for the future of New York, occasionally stopping to ask you questions that were less about your professional skills and more about testing your ability to politely nod. It was agonizingly slow. The promised two minutes had stretched into fifteen, then twenty. Now, Vern and two other associates had joined, turning the conversation into a suffocating, four-on-one pitch for an entry-level position you didn't want.
You sighed internally, pulling out your phone under the guise of checking the time.
You: hey are you okay?
You: that was a whole thing w vern
You: did he yell at you too lmao
It wasn't long before he began typing.
Donnie đđą: Yes. He is an illiterate cretin and I had words with him. Are YOU okay? The promised two minutes have elapsed 10x over. How's the job offer?
You: heâs trying to sell me on the company benefits. iâm dyinggg
Donnie đđą: Get out of there. Tell him your dog is on fire.
You: i donât have a dog
Donnie đđą: My point exactly. Theyâll never be able to verify the claim. Make a run for it, I'll cover your retreat lol
You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing out loud. This was a nice distraction.
You: look up.
Donnieâs eyes flicked up instantly, scanning the area near the fountain. He spotted youâstanding tall despite the discomfort, the purple dress of yours catching the golden fountain light. But he also saw Vern, Mr. Sterling, and the two others surrounding you, their postures overly familiar, blocking you in. They were literally barricading you from leaving.
Donnie đđą: Oh. My. God.
Donnie đđą: They're treating you like a piece of collateral.
Donnie đđą: Do you want me to come over there? I have my bo staff, Iâm willing to use it, just as a heads up
You: tempting. but i think heâs almost done. he keeps repeating himself. hopefully heâll be done in a bit.
Donnie đđą: Okie dokie. I'll pass the time.
Thank God. Talking to you and not somebody else had reset his head; something much, much needed. Donnie took a deliberate sip of his cocktail. He thought he was handling it quite well, but his vision was beginning to blur. He paid no mind to the water glass next to him that the bartender had provided two drinks ago.Â
He brushed the blindness off. Maybe he just needed a new glasses prescriptionâŠyeah! He downed his fourth. It was just a way to kill time, a distraction while he waited for you.
He was just finally settling into the soft, internal hum of the alcohol when he saw it.
êêêê
You had typed back a quick 'okay' and slipped your phone back into your clutch. Taking a deep breath, you plastered on your most apologetic smile. âI am so, so sorry to cut this short, Mr. Sterling, gentlemen, Vern. Itâs been⊠enlightening. But I just received a rather urgent text, and I really must be going.â Eyeing Donnie, you smiled. Finally, time to get out of this shithole. You were looking forward to celebrating the New Yearâs countdown with him somewhere else⊠maybe at your spot on the drive-in hill. With the radio. Yeah!
Sterling smiled, a flash of too-white teeth that didn't reach his cold, assessing eyes. "Now, now, don't rush off. We have all the time in the world." His voice, smooth as aged whiskey, slid over you unpleasantly. "A woman as captivating as you shouldn't be leaving so soon. You've got a brilliant mindâI can tell." He stepped closer, his cologne absolutely violating your nostrils. "And the rest of you is... quite brilliant, as well."
His hand was on your arm. Oh. Oh, no. Ew. His fingers, heavy and laced with cold rings, curled around your forearm just above your elbow. It wasn't a friendly touch. This shit felt like some display of ownership. His thumb began to stroke back and forth, a disgusting and egregious movement that made your stomach turn.
Donnie felt the alcohol in his system suddenly turn cold.
No. Absolutely not. Heâs had it with other men bothering you.
He shouldnât care this much. Why did he care this much? He closed his eyes, focusing on the scent of the garden and the distant fireworks, trying to manage the sudden rush of his anger and frustration.
Sheâs an adult. She can handle herself. She told me she was almost done. Look away, look away, look awayâ
But the image of that hand on your back burned behind his eyelids. He wanted to be the one standing next to you. He wanted to be the one guiding you away from the crowd. He wanted to be the one who made you smile like you did when you shared his half-eaten sâmore. They didnât have that with you. Not even close.Â
Donnie opened his eyes, staring blankly at the bar. He had been drinking high-proof, expensive amalgamations of alcohol, but his mind felt amplified. Every feeling about you, every repressed thought about your relationship, was magnified and set into focus.
I like the way she looks at me. I like that she's quiet until I start talking about astrophysics and tech. I like how she rambles about the things that she likes. I wish she did it more often. I like that her hand felt so small on my arm. I hate that Iâm standing here while sheâs being harassed. I hate that Iâm too much of a coward to tell her how I feel, and I hate that some low-grade flirt is getting to touch her while I'm stuck here because of Vern's stupid ego.
Words, words, words.Â
He reached for his glass, intent on taking another sip, hoping to drown out the internal monologue, when yet another hand landed gently on his shoulder.
"Rough night, little brother?"
Donnie startled, spinning around. Leo was standing there, calm and composed, sipping a clear drinkâlikely something light, with a twist of lime. His posture was still straight, but his eyes were clear and almost dilated. He wasn't drunk, far from the levels of inebriation that Donnie possessed. But he was definitely relaxed.
"Leo. Yeah. Rough night because that is happening." Donnie gestured vaguely towards your direction with his chin, the anger still simmering just below the surface.
âAh. Yeah, I saw her little⊠friend, over there. Looks like a tough situation.â Leo sipped a bit of his drink, setting it down to speak to Donnie. âWhy havenât you gotten her out of it yet?â
His brother groaned. âVern. Vern is why. Heâs so⊠heâs so fucking adamant that he keeps her away for two minutes, which turned into twenty for a job offer she didnât even want! And now these men, disgusting, vile men, are caressing her like sheâs an object. Do you see this shit, Leo? Itâs disgusting!â
âSo go get her. Again, why havenât you? Youâre bigger. Be the bigger person.â He advised.Â
A sigh from the one in purple. âBecause she told me to stay put. And Iâm trying to respect that, as much as I wouldnât like to. Iâd like to go and individually dismantle each of hisââ
âOkay, okay, Don. I get it. You need to calm down. You look like you're about to fall off that stool," Leo said, his hand coming to rest on Donnie's shoulder. "Maybe slow down on whatever that is?" He gestured to the half-empty glass.
Donnie stared at his brother, the words taking a moment to register. "It's nothing. I'm fine."
Leo raised an eyebrow, his gaze dropping to the cocktail. "Sure you are." He reached for the bottle the bartender had left on the counter, turning it to read the label. "What's even in this stuff? Is this one of the-"
"Leave it," Donnie slurred, swatting weakly at his brother's hand. "It's just a drink. Should be light."
Leo pulled the bottle back easily, his eyes scanning the fine print. A slow, humorless smile spread across his face. "Yeah, that'll do it," he mumbled, mostly to himself. He set the bottle down with a soft click.
"What?" Donnie demanded, a surge of irritation rising past the alcohol. Leo picked up the bottle again, pointing to a small, nearly invisible label on the back. "You, of all people, shouldâve noticed this. Vern had these cocktails pre-mixed for us tonight. The bartender should have explained it to you before you ordered.â
Donnie blinked, the words slowly filtering through the alcoholic haze. "What are you talking about?"
âThey made these drinks specifically for us. The alcoholâs way beyond what a normal person can handle.â Donnie blinked. Confused. Leo groaned. ââŠVern figured the partyâd be more appealing if we could get drunk easier, genius.â
âHoly shit. That is so unethical.â
âHey, they warned you. Had a whole speech about it and everything before they could serve you.â Leo chuckled, his eyes scanning Donnie's flushed face and slightly unfocused gaze. "Look, you should get out of here. Go home and sleep it off. You're not thinking clearly. Iâll tell Dad to brew you some tea so you wonât feel so bad in the morning."Â
Donnie shook his head. âNo, no, donât bother him. I donât think itâs that bad⊠yet. Iâll be fine. Iâll alert you if something happens.âÂ
Leo watched him go, a faint, resigned sigh escaping him. Part of him didnât believe Donnieâ at least, not 100%. "Alright, then. Be safe, Iâll see you tonight. And sober up, Don. Don't go out like this, for God's sake." The purple brother groaned.
As if on cue, Donnieâs phone vibrated.Â
You: come get me?Â
You: or i come get you?Â
You: please
Typing that comment felt like a beg. A plea. You were asking him to come and get you, to save you from whoever this godawful person was who hadnât the slightest clue what personal space was.Â
Donnie receiving that comment felt like it was his birthdayâ thank god. You were finally asking him to come and rescue you from that horrendous sight heâs been told to sit back and watch you handle for the past half-hour. Â
In all honesty⊠itâs better it was just you. Standing next to Sterling, that man wouldâve committed crimes irreparable. Donnieâs fingers stumble over themselves as he texts something out.
Donnieđđą: iâm om my wpy
⊠You had struggled for a second, reading that text. It wasnât that hard to make out, reallyâ but texting mistakes? Donnie? That was something youâd never seen in the guy, no matter how long youâve known him. He was always perfect at grammar, spelling, punctuationâ perfect everything.Â
So how did he manage to misspell âwayâ with a letter thatâs completely across the keyboard? âOnâ being spelled incorrectly was a reach, even for him.Â
You just stare at the screen, thumb hovering uselessly over the keyboard. The typo shouldnât matter. Itâs nothing. One letter in two words. Heâs fine, you overthinkâ where is he? Is he okay?Â
Heâs all you can really think about while Mr. Sterling continues to wrap his arm around your waist. Your best friend wasnât even here right now, and you were still using him as a distraction. Why do you keep thinking about him in situations like this? You can handle yourself perfectly fine! Matter of fact, why is it now so habitual that weâre thinking about him like this? You shouldnât. You know better, you know damn well.
âOkay. Iâm sorry, Mr. Sterling, please get off. Iâm not very comfortable with you, uh, doing that.â You say, slightly nudging away from him. He doesnât move away.Â
âWell, why not? Itâs not like you came with anyone tonight,â he scoffs. âNone that Vern told me about, at least. I looked at the guest list. Guest list told me that you were free, sweetheart.â
You had to think of something. Quick.
Oh, god...
âIâm actually here with my boyfriend tonight. Heâs on his way. Now, please get your hands off of me.â
The lie slips out smoother than you expect. Like youâd practiced the damn thing in your head a million times.Â
Crazy, itâs almost as if you had, before! Huh! How coincidental!
You canât bear to even look at Sterling when you say itâ it feels too good to be true, and just too out of reach to feel false. You look past him instead, toward the edge of the terrace, like your boyfriend could materialize if you just believed hard enough.Â
âOh, how cute. Yeah, Iâm sure that heâsââ
"There you are," his voice comes, a little lower, a little slower than usual, but it calms you, as a relief does.
Wait, was he seriously here right now?
Doing this?!
He reaches you, his hand coming to rest gently on the small of your back, a deliberate, respectful touch that makes Sterlingâs grip feel even more grotesque in comparison. "Sorry I took so long. Got held up by... well, by everything."
Donnieâs gaze flicks to Sterling, then down to the hand still wrapped around your forearm. He doesn't glare. He doesn't threaten. He simply looks at it, then back at Sterlingâs face, with an expression that is both tired and utterly unreadable. "Is there a problem here?"
Sterlingâs smile is tight. "No problem at all. Just getting to know your... girlfriend." He says it like it was a challenge. Getting you to defend your statement. Your face turns so fucking red.
Oh. Oh.
 It clicked for the turtle.Â
âBoyfriend,â he repeats, curious with the word. âHi.â His thumb rubs a slow circle against your dress. Heâs standing completely behind you, his arms around your waist and his chin resting on your head.Â
Your stomach dwells deep; you canât look at anyone right now, holy fuck. What is he doing? Is he okay? Is he giving into this? Could he hear what youâd lied about, what youâd said? Was he going along with it?Â
âOkay, A: She has a name,â he says, his voice still calm, though you can hear the faintest slur in his words. âAnd B⊠she was just leaving." He turns his attention to you, his eyes softening. âAre you ready?âÂ
You stare at him for a couple of moments, blabbering over your own words. âHuhâ? Oh, uh, yeahâ I thinkâ yeah, letâs go,â you say, but it comes out more of a whisper than anything.Â
êêêê
He didnât stop walking until the cries of the party were entirely behind them. Donnie guided you quickly, ducking through a side door and up a narrow flight of stairs that was clearly meant for staff only. The hallway above was quiet, dimly lit, and smelled faintly of cleaning supplies and old wood. When he pushed open the glass door, you stepped out onto a small, empty balcony that overlooked the back of the venue.
Oh, wow... it was much more scenic here.
The balcony itself was a small hideout, almost, made of smooth, white marble. Shrubbery and vines curled along the edges of the railing, their leaves brushing lightly against his arm as he leaned against it. Tiny flowers peeked through here and there. Cute little daisies, maybe. Weeds? Probably weeds.
He let go of your hand, leaning heavily against the stone railing, his shoulders slumping in a sudden wave of exhaustion. He couldn't really even comprehend things at this rate... he hated himself like this. How could he have possibly become this intoxicated? In front of you? You didn't deserve this.
Still, he tried to push out some words. Donnie could still think. Feel his emotions.
"Oh, God. Thank you, itâs so crowded down there," he muttered, pushing his glasses up his nose, though they immediately slid back down his slightly sweaty skin. His eyes were unfocused, darting everywhere but at you.
You felt like you should have thanked him for saving you; but there was clearly another concern at bay that you wanted to address first.Â
You could see it, clear as day. The way his words occasionally slurred. The sweat. Him tripping over himself. The incorrect spelling in the texts.Â
You thought he couldnât get like this. His body and metabolism arenât exactly what typical drinks are designed to affect.
"Donnie, are you okay?" you asked, moving closer, your voice hushed. "You donât look so good."
He scoffed, a quick, humorless sound. "Iâm fine. Just a little inebriated. What I drank altered my system, unto my own expectations. Uh⊠highly, highly, highly⊠altered it."
"Youâre drunk," you stated softly. âJeez, how much did you consume to get like this..? I mean, Iâve seen worse, but this much, even for you?â God, he loved listening to your voice. So soft. So⊠something. He didnât know. Can you talk more? Heâd like to listen to you for a bit.Â
"Drunk is⊠such an understatement." Donnie waved his hand vaguely, correcting you. "But thatâs besides the point. You⊠youâre okay, yeah? That guyâSterlingâor whatever his face is? I dunno, I never wanna see him again, but, uh, he was touching you. I mean, obviously he was touching you, but not in a good way,â the reptile rambled. Slurring his words together yet again.
You hesitated, leaning against the railing next to him. "Iâm okay, Dee. Just grossed out. I should have been firmer with him, itâs my fault.â
âWhat? No," he snapped, turning his head sharply to meet your gaze. That was sudden. "No, donât you dare start. Donât apologize for him being an ass, and donât you dare apologize for me intervening! What he did was disgusting⊠God, I was going to lose it if he kept his hands on you."
âI know. I could see you from afar. I tried to get out of it⊠he wouldnât let me leave. Dude buys a yacht and thinks heâs a god.â You chuckleâ Donnie follows suit, grabbing onto the railing of the white staircase; allowing it to help him plop down onto the marbled balcony, curling his legs up to his plastron.Â
It was quiet, for a moment. Between the two of you. For a second, you passed time, just by watching. Watching the fireworks boom in the distance. Watching his brothers scatter across the lawn, sitting down with friends to admire the countdown ball, soon to drop. Watching Donnie, whoâs focused was zoned in on you, for the last time tonight.Â
âI need to talk to you,â he mumbled, voice muffled by his arm. He had set his staff down next to him, the device folded. You appreciated when he did that. It was a tiny gesture, but one that let you know he felt safe around you; vulnerable. You could smell the citrus and liquid burn in his breath.Â
âYou can. Always, Dee. Whatâs going on?â There was a bit of dirt on his arm from grabbing the rail, clearly lacking a good cleaning for a few months. You brushed it off, gently wiping the excess on your dress. He frowned at that. He liked that purpleâ it was his purple.Â
âThereâs nothing going on, I mean, there is, but itâs not what youâ Iâm not drinking to forget some shitty or traumatic situationâ well, kind of. Good lord, how do I even start this,â he whined, his higher-pitched voice cracking amidst his admittance. âI canât believe this is coming out like this.âÂ
You tilted your head, turning your gaze away from him. You didnât know if that helped, but sometimes, talking to nothing and rambling to the world is what he needed most. With you there, everything was okay. Donnie leans forward without thinking, resting his head gently against the top of yours. You barely come up to his shoulders. He leans in anyway.
âDonnieââ
"Iâm very drunk, (y/n)." His voice dropped to a near whisper. "And that is the only reason I can say this without my internal monologue absolutely gutting me from the inside." He took a slow, deep breath, and you felt his chest expand under his thick gear. You didnât see, but you felt.
âGod, I hate that he touched you,â Donnieâs voice dropped lower, his breath warm against your hair. âHate it. You know, when I saw his hand on you, all I could think was thatâthat should be my hand on your arm. I wanted it to be my hand. I tried to make myself feel better by coming behind you and touching you earlier when we tried to play that whole thing off, but that just made it worse. I feel addicted to it and I feel disgusting for saying that.â He mumbled, voice cracking a bit due to his higher pitch. Donnie scoffs. His head is still on your shoulders, but heâs mumbling into your skin.
âItâs ridiculous, right? Pathetic. I spend years convincing myself I just value our friendship, that Iâm above these primitive impulses. They only come around this time of year. Itâs cold as hell outside, nearing end-of-winter, I know-- but anytime Iâm around you, it feels like spring. I don't know what's wrong with my body. I can't control it. I hate not being in control."Â
Donnie had made brief mention of what happens in Spring before, near you. He didnât dare go into deeper explanation of what he does to âfixâ it; but he always made sure to warn you to never visit him during that time. You havenât the slightest clue. You respected him too much to ask and find out, as much as you wanted to. Every brother was secretive about it.
âI donât know if itâs because of that, I really donât. I donât care either. I canât research why I feel the way I do when Iâm around you. I donât like how I felt earlier when that asshole touched you the way he did. And, donât tell me youâre sorry for having to save you earlier, either. I wouldâve done it anyway. Planned on it. I wanted to grab you, pull you behind me, andâ" A pause from his ramble. "I'm sorry, I canât finish that thought sober."
He pulled up a little bit; raising his head from his verbal rabbit hole to glance at you; listening to him like he was the last voice on Earth.
Sober Donnie would have hesitated spilling anything else. Inebriated Donnie did not.
âAnd if I didnât tell you earlier,â he muttered. âYou look really fucking good in that dress.â He plopped back down onto your shoulder.Â
âI apologize. You can tell me to go to hell now. Please, actually, tell me to go to hell now,â Donnie groaned, closing his eyes.Â
There was a lot of computation in your head, then. How should you respond? There was a lot going on here. His feelings. Your feelings. The fact that this giant turtle reciprocated? Oh, my.
"Dee. I'm not going to tell you to go to hell," you said softly. "Iâm not gonna say anything that that drunk brain of yours is probably telling you to believe, right now. Because thatâs not how I feel."
You took a shallow breath, your own admission just as exhilarating and relieving as his own. "When I told that guy my boyfriend was on his way... I didn't have to think very hard about who I wanted to show up. It was you. It was always you. I couldnât think of anyone else if I tried.â
â...did you want to?â
âWant what?â
âThink of anyone else. You said you tried to.âÂ
âIf I had tried. I didnât.âÂ
He lifted his head from your shoulder, pushing himself up to actually look at you, his eyes wide and slightly unfocused in the dim light. Donnieâs glasses reflected the anticipatory fireworks; yet, his pupils remained wide, despite the amount of light that was fleeting the night sky.Â
The distant sound of the crowd below started escalating. The countdown was beginning.Â
Ten seconds. Nine.
âPlease donât lie. I canât handle that shit right now if you are, (y/n).â
âWhen have I ever lied to you, Donatello?â You whispered, turning your face to gaze into his lens-covered eyes.Â
Eight seconds. Seven.
âI just needed to hear it,â he returned, matching your stare; eyes blinking slowly once every few moments.Â
Five.Â
He looked utterly lost for a moment, the emotional weight of the admission and the alcohol combining to overwhelm him. His eyes flickered down to your lips, then back up to your eyes.
"Can Iâ," he started, his voice barely audible, then swallowed hard, correcting himself with painstaking slowness. "May I kiss you? Right now?"
Four.
He wasnât demanding. He wasnât pushing you, nor was he begging you to get closer. To touch him. All this nervous, rambling dork wanted was your permission.
And by Godâ it took everything in you to say no.Â
Three.Â
Your heart ached, but you shook your head, gently. "Not like this, Dee. I want your first kiss to be one you remember. One where youâre completely, perfectly yourself."Â
Fuck. Did he screw up?Â
Two.
âRight. Of course. IââÂ
You leaned forward instead, bypassing his lips, and pressed a soft, warm kiss to the bridge of his thick-framed glasses, right between his eyes. The glass was cool against your mouth. It was sweet, an act of tenderness and denial that was somehow more potent than a kiss on the mouth would have been.
He flinched, a quiet, whimpered sound escaping him, before he melted into the touch, letting out a shaky breath.
One.
"I need you to remember this. Every single word," you tell him, your gaze searching his. "So, when you wake up tomorrow, and you're sober, we're going to have this conversation again. I want you to be honest. Iâll hold you to it, okay?"
The roar of the crowd exploded. Fireworks burst directly overhead, showering the sky in gold and purple, the sound momentarily deafening.
Happy New Years, the people would shout. Â
I promise, Donnie would whisper.Â
You smile. A genuine, warm smile. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him; absolutely nothing could have surpassed that level of greed. It was tortuous. Instead, his waist found its way under your arm, and you gently helped him up; careful to prevent the wobbly turtle from tripping over his own two feet. You start to guide him toward the door, taking slow, patient steps. He offers no resistance.
Only right before you came into the view of everyone else in the venue, Donnie pulled you a little bit closer to him. You werenât sure if it was for a hug, or warmth, or perhaps, just to be close.Â
âHey, (y/n)?â He mumbled into your hair, stumbling a little.Â
âHi, Donnie.â You responded, playing a little.Â
âI love you.âÂ
"I love you too, you big, genius dummy," you whisper. "But tell me tomorrow, when youâre sober. Okay?"
âMhm. Okie-dokie.â He groans, allowing you to help pull him along. Even now, you struggled to get all 6â8 of him to stand up straight.
êêêê
You woke slowly, the itchy fabric of your living room couch registering against your legs before anything else did. Damn. You hadnât even made it to your bed.
Youâd barely managed to change into pajamas. You remembered the dress being a nightmare to peel offâand with Donnie in the state heâd been in, he hadnât exactly been much help. Probably for the better. After getting home, after taking care of the giant turtle and whatever else needed doing, you mustâve pulled on a massive gray T-shirt that swallowed your figure and sunk onto the couch. Pants hadnât even crossed your mind. You had no idea where the piece of clothing came fromâperhaps a family member had left it behind?
A faint whine escaped your throat as you had sat up.Â
The scenery was always beautiful, this time of the morning.
It was silent⊠just about as silent as New York could get. The city that never sleeps. Of course, there was the hustle and bustle of the unfortunate ones who had to work New Yearâs Day; thankfully, that was not you. Or Donnie. Looking over at the snoring turtle, who was 99% of the sounds you had heard; he was clearly still nursing a mild hangover. He had rambled something last night about how he handled hangovers well; he may be in a more conscious state than the average person when heâs to wake.Â
Speak of the devilâŠ
You slowly twisted your neck, wincing at the stiffness. Curled into a somewhat fetal position on the floor, head pillowed on one of your softest throw blankets, was one hell of a previously intoxicated turtle; still, somehow, he looked comfortable. His large legs hung off of a mattress you had blown up.Â
Goddamn, how bad was it? Did you forget to even offer up your bed?Â
He was still in his cargo pants and gear, though his purple mask was loosened and draped half off his head, revealing the dark smudges under his eyes. His long legs were stretched out, one large, three-toed foot resting (probably uncomfortably) on the edge of the coffee table, the other tangled between your biggest blanket that was miniature compared to his size. His arms were wrapped around a pillow, and the soft, thankfully light whistle of his snores was the only thing audible in this quiet room.
You remembered the blur of getting him out of Vernâs party. How hard it was navigating the security-lined corridors, and somehow, somehow, getting him up the fire escape and into your apartment without Raph, Leo, or Mikeyâs help. Moments of your return came back, one by one.
You had offered him the couch or your bed, but abiding by his drunken logic, he had insisted that your floor provided "optimal structure realignment" for someone of his kind. No; he just wanted you to have it. You blew up a mattress for him, instead. He'd promptly face-planted onto the thing, and you hadn't the heart to move him. Nor did you possess the strength to do soâŠ
It was 11:30 A.M, according to your phone. January 1st. Happy New Year.
You gently slid out from under the blanket, wincing as the sudden creaking of your wooden floors had caused Donnie to grumble, tightening his grip on the pillow. He didnât wake, thankfully.
The kitchen wasnât exactly the cleanest thing ever, but it sufficed. The refrigerator had stains on it; previously being a polished white and transforming itself over the years into a faded and sandy brown. The fan that could be turned on was obnoxiously loud, so you refrained from that, for now. The outlets that your coffee maker was plugged into didnât send electricity through, half of the time. This wasnât one of those times.Â
You quietly measured out coffee grounds, setting up the machine as silently as possible. The low, gurgling sound of the water starting to heat felt like avoiding waking a sleeping giant; you winced, glancing back at the sleeping turtle. Still out. Good.
Opening your pantry, you adeptly seeked out a tiny bottle of emergency aspirin youâd gotten at a pharmacy a few weeks ago. Your head was still throbbing. God knows how much of a reprieve Donnie would need; you wondered if heâd need anything at all, actually. Will his body handle the after-effects better than a regular person? Worse, considering how much heâd consumed? Hmm. Briefly skimming the cabinet, there was a box of unopened herbal tea next to some strawberry Pop-Tarts. You pulled both from the shelf.
You started a pot of water on the old stove for the tea, keeping the flame at its lowest level. The apartment began to warm up slowly. You poured yourself a cup of coffee, the scent unmistakably drifting through the room, and leaned against the counter, just watching the muted light filter into the living room through your thin, cream-colored curtains.
Donnie stirred again. A soft sigh left his nose. He must have smelled the caffeine. It was hardly visible, but he had a tail; what was visible of the miniscule thing had been so lightly curled beside him, and it twitched once before settling. His eyes fluttered open slowly. Blinking at the ceiling, then squinting at the light, he brought a hand up to shield his face; looking extensively exhausted.
"Gooâ morninâ," he mumbled, his voice gravelly and slurred due to sleep. He paused, then corrected himself with a slight alteration. "Ah, well, good afternoon, I suppose."
"Morning, Dee," you whispered, taking a careful sip of your coffee. "Sleep okay?"
He pushed himself up onto his elbows, the blanket falling away. He looked around your living room, his gaze lingering on the empty pizza boxes, the scattered throw pillows, and finally, his gaze settled on you, leaning against the kitchen counter in the oversized t-shirt.
"Like a baby," he said, slowly sitting up. He blinked again, his eyes taking a moment to focus. "My head is a bit fuzzy. But nothing I canât handle. My liver, Iâm sure, is having a field day. Did we get back here safely?"
"We got here safely," you confirmed. "You insisted on sleeping on the floor. I was able to talk you into a mattress at least." You gestured to the deflated thing with your cup.
He looked at the air mattress, then back at you, a faint, embarrassed blush creeping up his neck. "Ah. Right. I apologize. I can get⊠quite illogical when my cognitive functions are compromised."
"Oh, really?," you softly teased, a small smile playing on your lips. "I made some tea. And I have aspirin if you need it."
"That would be appreciated," he said, pushing himself to a standing position, a bit stiffly. "Though, I should be fine. My metabolism is a wonder of bio-engineering. Still, the tea sounds good."
He shuffled over to the kitchen, kneading at the back of his shoulder as he did so. He looked at the box of Pop-Tarts on the counter, then at you. A sigh. Silence.
âHow bad was it?âÂ
You tilted your head, sitting yourself down on the edge of the couch as he stood in place.Â
He swallowed hard. You could see his throat working beneath the green skin, the way his breathing hitched. The morning light caught his face, revealing the dark circles under his eyes that had nothing to do with a hangover.
"I need to apologize," he said quietly, finally looking up at you. His eyes were doused in dark circles. "For putting you in that position. I shouldâve never gotten drunk at a stupid party, anyways, I donât even know how that happenedâ Iâve only ever gotten drunk by myself. In my lab, alone. Even then, it took a highly improbable amount of alcohol to get me that way, so, statisticallyâ"
âDonnie. Hey. Pause for a minute, okay?â He stopped, seemingly waiting for some sort of reprimand from you.
"Donât apologize for getting drunk. It happens. I wanted you to have a good time, and if thatâs how you do so, then by all meansââÂ
âIt wasnât supposed to happen. Our physiology is completely different from yours, (y/n) â I donât have the slightest clue what was in those drinks, I was supposed to keep control of myself. I wasnât supposed to spill shit out, get pissed at the other men and get all close to you the way I didââ
âYou were protecting me, Donnie. I needed you in that moment. And you were able to come get me. And you did it even though I told you to stay put, which, frankly, was dumb on my part. So thank you for that."
He just stared as you spoke⊠yet, his face was still filled with some sort of emotion you couldnât decipher. You patted the cushion beside you. "Sit. Please. You're looming."
âI should have stopped when Leo showed up,â he says, more to himself than to you. âI donât like being⊠in that state. Not in front of other people, absolutely not.â
âI know.â You whispered, laying against him; giving him a sense of weight as comfort. He appreciated that. You didnât hate him for it, at least.Â
"Now⊠as for the other things you said... last night," you continued, your voice soft but firm. You kept your eyes locked on his, ensuring he knew you were serious. "The things you said about why you were there, and what you wanted to do, and how you felt... those things. Do you remember them?"
Donnie took a breath. âOh, godâŠâ
No backing out now.
His eyes narrowed slightly, dread and acceptance in his expression. "I remember the gist. The unfortunate, verbose, highly explicit gist. Yes." Leaning down, Donnie grabbed a red, what used to be a fluffy sherpa blanket and held it up to his chin, hiding his face in a half-manner. The best he was going to get at burrowing, in this situation.
"Do you remember what I said?"
A moment of genuine confusion crossed his face. He hummed. "Little. You... you were very kind about it. You said you didn't want my first kiss to be ruined by alcohol. You said you'd hold me to having the conversation today."
"Good job. Do you remember anything before that?" you prompted, softly. "When I was with Mr. Sterling, I texted you, and you showed up. What did I tell him?"
The corners of his mouth twitched. "You said... you were here with your boyfriend. And that he was on his way."
âMhm⊠and then you showed up, and you said you were my boyfriend.â He turned his face away rather than burying himself in deeper depths. âYou used my name and told Sterling off. Do you remember any of that?"
He nodded slowly, whining into the blanket in a very, very silent manner, so you wouldnât hear. He shifted beneath you, trying to get more comfortable in this confrontational debacle.
"Yes. I remember you saying that. I assumed... I assumed you were just using me as a shield. I know, I know assuming is bad. I couldnât help it. I played along because I was drunk and angry and very desperately wanted him to leave you alone. I thought it was just a lie to get him off your back. I remember saying 'boyfriend' because you did. Or whatâs-his-face did. SomeoneâŠ" He paused, chewing on his lower lip. "I am so, so inexplicably sorry, (y/n)."
You glanced up, shortening the gap between the two of you. "Donatello. I told you last night. I didn't have to think hard about who I wanted to show up. It was you. I told him I had a boyfriend because I wanted you to be my boyfriend. I wasnât just pissed that Vernâs friend had his hands all over me.â You chuckled, a soft reminiscent laugh escaping your lips. âAnd guess what?"
He turned his head back towards you after having been staring at the wall for the past two minutes. Is that really how you felt?
âWhatâs that?â
âYou played it off perfectly.âÂ
You reached out, gently taking one of his hands in both of yours. His skin was cool and calloused against your softer palms. "I want you to look me in the eyes when I say this. Weâre both sober. It's a new year. I'm holding you to your promise. You said a lot of things last night about how you felt, and I said a few things too. I am just as guilty as you are here. We are not friends right now, Donnie. Not the way we were yesterday.â You were shaking. Fuck, this was just as exhilarating as having alcohol flooding through your veins. âYou need to be honest with me, right now, about what you meant, and if you still mean it.â A gentle moment of eye contact. âIs that okay?âÂ
Donnie nodded.Â
You took a breath. A hopeful breath. Your tone, this time, was the shaky one. Anxious.Â
âDo you still mean it?â
He lifted his head, meeting your gaze.
"I don't know what the statistical likelihood is that I fall in love with a human, or what the social ramifications are for my brothers and me, or how I would even begin to integrate my life with yours, or what the logical solution for this situation is," he admitted. "But I know that there is absolutely zero possibility that I regret what I said last night. I meant it."
You smiled. The biggest, most ecstatic fucking smile. Donnie took a breathâ he wasnât done speaking.Â
âAnd⊠with me being sober this time around, I wanted to ask⊠the right way, this time.â HIs voice was shaky; but his overall appearance remained calm. His eyes darted between your own and your lips. Back and forth, back and forth again.Â
"I want to..." he began, his voice cracking slightly, the words catching in his throat. He swallowed hard, trying again, forcing the words past the lump of fear and anticipation. "May I... can I kiss you? Properly, this time?" His eyes were locked on yours, wide and vulnerable, waiting for the judgment he was sure was coming.
You didn't answer. Not with words.
Instead, you leaned in, closing the final, infinitesimal distance between you. The world narrowed to the space you now shared. Your hand came up to cup the side of his face, your fingers brushing against the rough, slightly scaly texture of his skin, the coolness of it a stark contrast to the fire blooming in your chest. You felt his sharp, sudden intake of air, the way his body tensed in surprise.
And then you kissed him.
His lips, softer than you had ever imagined, parted under yours with a startled gasp. He tasted faintly of coffee and the strawberry pastry heâd licked at, earlier. His hand, the one that had been grasping at your blanket, found your waist; his fingers digging into the fabric of your t-shirt, pulling you closer and eliminating any and all remaining space between you.
His other hand came up to cradle the back of your head, his long fingers tangling in your hair, holding you to him with some sense and level of need that even Donnie couldnât comprehend. And, oh, how he loved thisâ the rational, scientific part of his brain, that stupid part that had him second-guessing himself this entire time, had finally, blissfully, gone silent. There was nothing.
That nothingness was pure instinct, pure need. Raw and straight necessity. The air in the room grew thick and heavy, and holy shit, you could feel your heart hammering beneath your ribs. You could hear it. You swore you heard him mumble something like a âcome here,â under his breath.Â
You shifted on the couch, swinging a leg over his to straddle his lap, never breaking the kiss. The new angle allowed you to press against him more fully, to feel the solid weight of his body beneath yours. Donnieâs larger hands found their way under your shirt; well, his.
âNice shirt. Iâve been looking for that one,â he chuckled, hands teasing with the hem of it.Â
âOh, shoot! Itâs yours? I just figured it was a family memberâs, it was in my closetâŠâ you murmured, looking down at it. Well, that made sense; the way it engulfed you like a tiny fish in the sea.Â
"Mustâve left it here a few weeks ago," he breathed, his eyes darkening as he traced the hem of the shirt with his fingers. "Forgot about it."
âIâll give it to you before you head out, then.âÂ
âMm, no. It smells like you now. You keep it.â He tugged you closer, his hands sliding further up under the fabric you'd unknowingly claimed. His skin was cool against yours, and you shivered as his thumbs brushed against your ribs. âWearing my shirt,â he murmured, nuzzling against your neck. âDidn't even realize.â
He was peppering you in soft, open-mouthed kisses now. Your jaw, your collarbone, your shoulderâany place he could reach. Donnie was worshipping you, like he'd been starved for this very thing for years. You arched into him, a soft sigh escaping your lips as his teeth grazed a particularly sensitive spot just below your ear. This had to have been the best day you've had in your life.
"Donnie," you breathed, tangling your fingers in the fabric of his purple mask where it had shifted. "Higher."
He obeyed without hesitation, his lips trailing up your jawline until they met the corner of your mouth. You turned your head, capturing his lips fully again. The kiss deepened, growing more desperate as months of unspoken longing finally found release. His tongue slid against yours, exploring, claiming, tasting.
Your hands roamed across his shoulders, tracing the sharp angles of his carapace through his gear. You wanted moreâneeded more. You caught his wrist, guiding his hand from your waist to the curves leading up to your chest. He hesitated for a fraction of a second, then his fingers curled around your side; thumb brushing over the line of skin that was covered by the thin fabric of yourâ no, hisâ shirt.
A low growl rumbled in his chest, vibrating through your body. "Like this?" he murmured against your mouth.
"Exactly like that," you gasped as he repeated the motion, more confident this time. Your hips rolled against his instinctively, drawing a sharp intake of air from him.
Donnie's other hand slid down your back, fingers pressing into your skin as he pulled you flush against him. You could feel him stirring beneath you, thick and hard against your core. The realization sent a jolt of electricity straight through you.
Your own hands were not idle. One remained grasping his shoulder, while the other slipped between your bodies, slowly tracing his thigh around his cargo pants. He bucked into the feeling with a choked sound, his weight adjusting beneath you.
"Is this okay?" you whispered, your voice husky with desire.
He answered by covering your hand with his own, pressing it more firmly against him. "More than okay," he managed. "Don't stop."
And continued, you had. Complying with his request; a soft, content smile crossed your face. You fumbled with the gear that surrounded his thigh area, fingers trembling with anticipation. Why did he have these holster straps so tight, good lord?
Your hands worked at the fastenings of his gear, each buckle and strap a small barrier between you and what you truly wanted. Donnie watched your efforts, his breathing growing more ragged with each second.
"Here, let me help" he chuckled, his larger hands easily finding the releases you struggled with. With quick, repetitive movements, he unbuckled the leg holsters, letting them fall to the floor with a soft thud.
Now there was only the barrier of his cargo pants between your touch and his skin. You felt the area around his thigh again, teasing, moreover. He made a strangled sound, fingers tightening on your hips.
"Okay, that's enough."
His hands slid down to grip your thighs, suddenly lifting you absolutely effortlessly as he stood. You wrapped your legs around his waist instinctively as he carried you across the living room, never breaking the kiss. Your back met the wall with a soft thud; his body pressing flush against yours, pinning you there.
âOh, come on. I was having funâŠâ Your fingers, which had been playfully trying to mess with the intricate shoulder gear on his skin, were suddenly intercepted. He took your hand in his, his grip gentle as ever, smoothly pulling it away from the straps that tightened on his green skin. Instead of letting go, he guided your arm, placing it back around the nape of his neck where you were previously holding on to when heâd swooped you up.
âEager, arenât we?â He murmured, smiling and eventually shutting himself up by smashing his mouth up against yours, once more.
His hands held you firmly by the thighs, his thumbs stroking circles on your skin that sent shivers up your spine. The position gave him a new angle to explore your mouth with his tongue, and he took full advantage, deepening the kiss until you were breathless and dizzy. The wall behind you provided solid leverage as he continued to kiss and push against you-- the feeling alone was enough to release some heavy heaving through your lungs. Donnie swallowed your sounds, his own low groan vibrating through your chest.
Your fingers tangled in his purple mask, tugging him impossibly closer as his teeth nipped at your lower lip. The sensation sent sparks shooting straight through your entire body, your legs tightening around his waist involuntarily. He responded by pressing you more firmly against the wall, his hands sliding higher to grip the curve of your waist and thighs, kneading the soft flesh through his shirt that you wore.
"God, Donnie," you breathed between kisses, your head falling back against the wall as his mouth traveled along your jawline. His lips found that sensitive spot below your ear, making you shudder.
"Do you know how long Iâve wanted this?" he murmured against your skin, his voice low and rough with desire. "Thought about this?"
Your response was lost as his mouth claimed yours again, hungrier this time, more demanding. One of his hands moved from your thigh to tilt your head for him; he wanted your neck open and clear, nothing in the way so he could make a mess of your (temporarily) clean skin. You arched into his touch, a soft moan escaping you.
And, of course.
Just as things were heating up, a familiar buzz cut through the haze that was your current makeout. Donnie's phone, still in his cargo pocket, vibrated insistently against your hip.
âIgnore it," he mumbled, not breaking the kiss.
The buzzing stopped, only to start again moments later, more persistent this time. Followed by another. And another. And another.Â
"Jesus," Donnie sighed, pulling back slightly. "What the fuck does he want?" It was Leoâs texting notification; he was spamming Donnie with something apparently imperative.
With one hand still supporting you, he fumbled for his phone, finally managing to retrieve it from his pocket. The screen lit up his face, revealing multiple missed calls and a string of increasingly frantic texts.
"Oh, shit," he muttered, reading them. "Heâs been trying to reach me for the past hour. Dad wants me home. Like, now. That asshole better not have told him I got drunk," Donnie groanedâ pissed.
You unwrapped your legs from around his waist, your feet touching the floor as he carefully set you down.
"Everything okay?" you asked, smoothing down the shirt that had ridden up during your encounter.
Donnie's eyes scanned the messages, a frown forming on his face. "No, no, itâs okayâ nothing bad. Dad just heard about last night and is getting antsy that he hasnât heard from me. Heâs not very⊠appreciative of us coming home in daylight, eitherâŠâ He rambled off. âMikey told Leo to cover for me. How many times have I told him not to do that? Leo canât lie for shit, heâs too honest for his own good when it comes to Dadââ He looked up at you, disappointment evident in his expression. "I'm so sorry, (y/n). I have to go."
You nodded, understanding of his circumstances. "It's okay. Family first. Always."
"I'll make this up to you," he promised, leaning in to press one last lingering kiss to your lips. He leaned his forehead against yours.
"Iâm sorry it took me getting absolutely hammered to do all that," he mumbled into your hair, a genuine, finally sober, apology.
You just chuckled, resting your hand against the thick shell on his back. "Iâm glad you got hammered, then. Happy New Year, Dee."
"Happy New Year, (y/n)," he whispered. A slight pauseâ him thinking. Cogwheels, turning in his brain; you observed him doing this quite often, when he didnât know you were watching.
 "Uhh, tonight? I'll come back tonight. Can I come back tonight?"
"Of course. I'll be waiting," you smiled, touching his cheek. You guided him towards the door, despite him having entered and exited your house countless times. Turned around to grab his things, there was a strange sense that felt familiar; an absence. You hummed.
âDonnie?" Nothing.
You leaned against the doorframe, listening to the distant sounds of the city. He was trained. Silent. You didnât hear the clang of him jumping from building to building as he left your fire escape.Â
The apartment felt impossibly empty now.Â
You walked over to the kitchen, poured yourself another cup of coffee, and sat down at the small table by the window. The day stretched ahead, long and empty without him.Â
But heâd be back. Even if it really was sooner, rather than later.
You glanced at every piece of gear heâd seemingly forgotten on the ground.Â
And heâs supposed to be the genius, you chuckled. Dork.
â°ââź
hope u enjoy :) scenes were a little rushed through, but i've had this prompt in my head for monthsss and was anxious to get this out. i'll get back to asks soon!
Violation of Protocol: Bay! Donnie x Reader (Full Fic)â°â„ïž âźđ§Ș
this is my three month baby. she is 80 pages long. i love her. pls enjoy.
Tags: bayverse! donnie x reader, 18+ NSFW! , professor/student trope (characters of age), theyâre both adults of the same age iâm begging you to read the tags, nerd x nerd, stem romance, slow burn for a one shot, fluff, alcohol & inebriation, a lot of educational talk, unrealistic college setting, implied fem reader, donnieâs a sassy bitch sometimes, if this is not your forte, itâs not your forte.
Synopsis: Your ridiculously perceptive college professor wasn't supposed to fall. Neither were you. You're two nerds who simply can't have each other... right? His research project deems otherwise.
word count: 30k
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Apartment â„ïž
Time: 7:30 A.M.
For whatever godforsaken reason, you found yourself back in college to pursue an education. Knowledge is power, of course! That, or whatever bullshit adults had been preaching to you since childhood.
Thereâs too much going on. Itâs finally your last year, second semester; shouldnât adulthood be familiar at this point?! Sure, maybe there were parts of this era youâd sacrificed for an advanced degreeâŠbut, sweet jesus. There were times you regretted it.
You figured your life would be squared away by now! Bills paid, apartment cleaned, and, by God, maybe a significant other possessed? Hilarious! This was unheard ofâ for you, at least. Most certainly now, the chaos is quite clear as one foot scatters over the other; unintentionally mismatched socks glaring at you as you rush out of the door.Â
The hallway outside your apartment is too bright. Itâs too early, screw these eight AM classes, and youâre already running late. You take the stairs two at a time anyway, because the elevator will take too long and you donât have time for anything that takes too long.
There are papers seeping out of your bag as it was tossed over your shoulder. Binders are nonexistent. Folders have been long forgotten. Shoving items into random places and forgetting them seemed more natural to you, given the amount of time you spent rushing from one place to the next. As much as your advisors and counselors insisted upon them; they were useless. Who knows? Maybe theyâd serve you right. One day. Just not now.
Right now, there was a more treacherous task at hand; would your GPS just calibrate, for Godâs sakes!? The cracked phone that was held with a firm grip in your hands had lit up, suggesting your building was one way, then anotherâ you let out a quiet, disbelieving breath, quickly glancing around as the GPS cheerfully reroutes you yet again. It fails. The building is nowâ well, now, apparently itâs nowhere.Â
âYouâve gotta be kidding,â you mutter under your breath, slowing just enough to glance around at the cluster of buildings surrounding you, maybe one might stand out. Engineering buildings should be somewhat identifiable, right? Screw this app. Youâll find it yourself.Â
Maybe if this building had been near the bunch of halls where classes that dealt with your major were located, youâd already be settled in, comfortably taking notes and actually learning something! But no. Of course not. Why make things easy? This mysterious building was home to a required course, for some reason, completely unrelated to your major, tucked away in the Engineering Hall, Room 301: Neural Systems Modeling & Adaptive Robotics. Wherever that may be.Â
It was hard to even presume what was taught in this class. What an amalgamation of words! Some type of specialty course, apparently. With a quick search of your phone, you discover that it was designed to teach students about the creation and advancement of the minds of machines; their âneural-systems,â as they were called, and how they would adapt to their environment based on technology and the actual manmade thought put into them. You would literally be teaching machines how to think.Â
Hm. Yeah, somewhat outside of your bubble. You had some experience with building machines. Nothing too fancy (or, so youâve considered.) This sounded like some class where you learned to make one of those oddly humanoid bots that would soon colonize the Earth, or some shit. Cool, yes, but what did this course have to do with your major? Why in the world was it required?Â
You were a biology major, something you had chosen on a whim. You were good at science in high school. Great, even! But you had no idea what path you desired to take five years from then. Nothing was interesting. Nothing was set to make you enough money, given the current state of the world. Financials, and all that. How were you even supposed to make these decisions as a teenager? Itâs too late to change, now. As much as you wanted to divert your attention to a different major, you preferred to just graduate and go.
You searched, frustration mounting as you circled what felt like the entire engineering campus twice. The morning air carried a chill that seeped through your thin jacket, but you barely noticedâ youâre far too focused on the impossible task of finding this stupid building. Your GPS had long since given up, displaying a sad little spinning wheel that mocked your efforts.
Students trickled past you, some leisurely, others with the same frantic energy you currently possessed. You spotted a couple looking at a campus map and nearly sprinted toward them, slowing at the last second to appear casual. "Excuse me," you managed, trying to catch your breath. "Engineering Hall, Room 301?"
The girl pointed vaguely to your left. "That way. It's the ugly one with the weird, uh, shrubbery out front."
Of course. The ugly one. As if that narrowed anything down.
Your phone buzzed with the time â 7:57 AM.Â
You didnât even have time to thank the girl. You simply nodded and took off, your backpack and its interior contents thumping rapidly against your shoulder.
The âugly oneâ turned out to be a towering, certainly boring looking structure of poured concrete and questionable architectural choices for an engineering building, set back slightly from the main walkway. It did, indeed, have strangely manicured, geometric shrubs out front. Who is making these design choices? This was a fairly prestigious college, youâd think there would be a decent amount of money put towards campus aesthetics. This was straight up comparable to an abandoned psychiatric hospital. Blaring white and stained grey.
A long hallway stretches before you when you are met with that godforsaken door: 301. Itâs slightly open, allowing the chattering and rustling of a settling classroom to spill into the quiet hall. You slide in just as the clock on the wall ticks over to 8:00 AM, your arrival punctuated by the soft click of the door behind you.
There are rows upon rows of open seats. The room was unsettlingly large! It was a much bigger lecture hall, the rows spanning in an upwards motion the further up you looked. The floor was carpeted, rather than hardwood, and, unlike your science classes, it did not smell like formaldehyde in this room. Instead, it reeked of freshly warmed printer paper; a scent that was rather soothing, compared to the indescribable scent of the organisms you were often tasked to dissect that were hiding in containers of awfully pungent chemicals.
Another thing you also seemed to notice: the lights were significantly dimmer in here, practically dark. A few sleepy students scattered around the lecture hall, not really grouped together, moreover just looking for a spot to claim. Theyâre hunched over and scrolling through their phones while their laptops sit idly in front of them. Many were asleep. Youâd think they laced the air with melatonin, if doing so was even theoretically possible. In search of a spot of your own, you hopped quietly down to the lower middle of the rows, hoping to just soak up enough of the material to make it through the year with a better-than-average GPA. The seats were nice. Warm. You felt settled, thankfully, given the morning youâd had.Â
Next to the warm paper, you also smelled coffee, which prompted your eyes to drift over to the figure up front; holding a cup and sitting in his chair, so gently swiveling as he slowly eyed the room.Â
Hm.Â
Heâs not what you expected for a professor in such an advanced course. Different from a human, definitely, but itâs his height that catches your eye firstâeven seated, he towers over the desk heâs leaning against, his frame folded into a standard office chair that looks like itâs going to soon collapse under his long limbs. His skin has an uniquely different, almost olive-green tint under the lecture lights heâs dimmed, and you scold yourself for staring at the three thick fingers wrapped around his pen as he taps it against the stack of papers and grips a huge cup in the opposing hand. His eyes keep darting toward the growing crowd, flicking from face to face like a nervous wreck, before he remembers to adjust his glassesâpushing them up his beak-like nose with a knuckle, only for them to slide right back down again. You laugh softly from your seat. He sighs through what looks like nostrils but⊠nope! Theyâre just slits. Ah, well. It wasnât your right to ask anyway. Just wonder for now⊠just wonder.
Mutants and humans were well acquainted in this society. Rightfully so... the ruckus in a world divided would cause far too much much trouble.
He was green; a turtle, you presumed. Tortoise? They live on land, not turtles. Again. It wasnât really your right to ask.Â
This⊠âreptileâ wasnât particularly dressed the way you would depict an average teacher, either. Likely due to his size. What clothing was going to fit this absolute behemoth of a turtle? The only clothing that seemed to adorn him were his deep purple mask and withered pieces of tactical gear. For whatever reason, he possessed them; they had little marks of purple, and you couldnât really see from afar, but he had some scarring around his shell and arms.Â
Visibly, he was interesting to look at! Different. You always appreciated different.Â
The students continued to chatter with their seat partners or neighbors, ignoring the tall, turtle-like figure they assumed was their professor as he took a breath.
He rose from his seat, the chair left to spin behind him as he unfolded himself to what you guessed was over six feet tall, damn near reaching seven! He fumbled with the remote for the projector, nearly dropping it twice before getting a grip.Â
You heard a mumble from the girl next to you about his instability. You shoved it off. Just being a jerk, and he hasnât even spoken a word.
âGood morning,â he says, his voice quite resonant and distinctive considering the immense amount of trembling heâd been doing prior. Your professor pushes his glasses up again, muttering something under his breath that you canât quite catch, fingers drumming lightly on the desk.Â
âUh, my name is Donatello. Students call me a variety of different things. Dr. Hamato, Professor Hamato, or just Donatello. You can call me whatever comes easiest to you, Iâve learned to respond to each.â Thereâs a deep, yet quiet inhale before he begins again. âWelcome to Neural Systems Modeling and Adaptive Robotics! Excuse me, thatâs a mouthful. I usually just call it Neural Systems. Or adaptive robotics, vice versa. Call it what youâd like. Iâll never know.â He shakes his head, rambling. Quite cute, actually.Â
âI wonât keep you long. Itâs syllabus week. Nothing too harsh on you guys,â he swung his feet, eyeing the crowd once more. There are students relaxed, most-half mindedly scrolling on their phones. He exhales quietly, adjusting his glasses again before continuing. âThis course is⊠structured a little differently than what you might be used to. Weâll cover both the fundamentals and in-depths! This being neural modeling, adaptive systems, feedback loops. Youâll learn the whyâs and howâs, but Iâm more interested in how you apply them.âÂ
His fingers start to tap again on the desk. They are restless; rhythmic. Your professor adjusts his posture, shoulders going tense, like heâs noticing something. The room is too big, too full? Crowds did not suit him. He looks like heâs trying, you didnât doubt thatâ his gaze never settled long enough on any student. Eyes darting and scanning methodically like heâd been on a high of caffeine.Â
âYouâll be building a variety of things, followed by the process of testing them. Breaking them on purpose. Fixing them again. Making them better. Teaching them, essentially! Thatâll be the primary thing that makes up your grade, here. Labs, that is. Those are the only mandatory attendance days. I know that thereâs lots of you here who take this class as an extracurricular, or, as an unrelated major class.â
Donatello took a breath. Oh, dear lord, here came his favorite partâ he thought with sarcasm.Â
At his mention of attendance, the previously tuned-out students had decided to perk up. Like a little puppy, hearing its favorite word! Oohâs and ahhâs came from the group of learners, many of whom were fist-bumping their partner. The turtleâs tridactyl hand came up to pinch his nose, shaking his head.
âYes, that is⊠most peopleâs favorite aspect of this class. Attendance. Or, lack thereof.â Donatello pushed the rim of his glasses up. The taped bit in the middle was unfurling; he needed to replace it.Â
âItâs not required. I donât take attendance. Youâre adults. You know why youâre here, what youâre paying for. If you donât want to come to lecture, thatâs your decision. Youâll be responsible for the material, obviously. But Iâm not going to babysit you.â
He leans back after sitting down again, propping one foot up on the corner of that tall desk of his.
âJust to get it out of the way, my philosophy is simple: if youâre not engaged enough to show up, Iâm not going to force you. The lab work is where the real learning happens anyway. The lectures are supplementary, for those who want to dive deeper. Or, well, for those who need to hear my ramblings about neural networks in order to understand the lab manual. Speaking of whichâŠâ
He picks up a thick stack of papers and sets it on the desk with a thud. The sound woke up a sleeping student; his eyes drifting from his hoodie. It didnât take him long to drift back off.Â
âSyllabus. Itâs all in there. Grading breakdown, lab schedule, my office hours, my other jobâs contact info if you canât reach me here, and my email address is on the last page.â He gestures vaguely toward the stack. âHere in a few, Iâd like you all to take one on your way out.â
You glance at your neighbor. Sheâs already packing up, even though heâs clearly not finished.
âAlright, I guess I can take a minute to give a little insight to what weâll be doing.â Donatello nods his head back. Was he thinking? He seemed to do an awful lot of that.Â
âNeural Systems Modeling is essentially teaching machines how to think. It seems boring, but I promise you, this is the absolute furthest thing from it! I teach this topic for a reason. When it comes to building things, not just robots, but circuitry, computers, any piece of technology that requires a neural interface, youâre not only teaching it to process commands. The entire point is to give the thing a mind of its own. How to actually adapt and respond to new information. We're talking about creating systems that can learn from experience, much like how you and I, living biological beings, have neural networks that process the same way!"Â
You find it fascinating how the turtle is practically speaking with his hands. Rambling off the top of his head like it was nothing. This man was a hypertechnicality of a being. If you could somehow shove redbull and black coffee into one drink and consume it safely, this man would have probably done so already with the way he was moving.Â
You were, quite frankly, mesmerized. The way he moved, spoke, and thought. He was a walking genius. The way his fingers moved, his gesturesâ it was as if he were sculpting the very air, molding complex concepts into tangible shapes for the class to grasp, despite the attention of absolutely nobody except for a few. He's a little clumsy, a little awkward, something of a mess, youâd already seen the poor guy trip over himself onceâ and still, he continued on with his passion. It was admirable, to you.Â
â...Right. Before I let you all go this morning, just to get a sense of your experienceâthis isnât really a beginner question, so radio silence is fineâ does anybody know of an example of a cybernetic system where adaptation is driven by feedback from prior outcomes, rather than fixed instruction?â His eyes are rampant, darting around the room once more.Â
Silence. A few students shift uncomfortably in their seats.Â
âItâs simple. Not a trick question⊠I promise.â The edge of his mouth is curving up.Â
You lean toward your lab partnerâa blonde girl who's been more interested in her nail polish than the lectureâand whisper, "Do you think that⊠natural selection might be an answer? Something like that? Since itâs a process where nature eliminates the unfit and the organisms who adapt are ruled as the next predecessorsâŠ?" The biology major in you wanted this to be the answer, but there was a slight doubt, as you knew engineering was certainly not fit for your radar.
Your partner blinks at you, confusion very, very evident in her eyes.Â
"Dude, Iâm an art major. This is my science credit I was forced to take because all of the other classes were filled. I donât have the slightest fucking clue."
"You have something to share?" Donnie's voice cuts through the quiet, and you realize with a jolt that his gaze has fixed directly on you. Several students turn to look.
"Oh! Um," you hesitate, feeling heat rise to your cheeks, "I was just asking my partner if... if something as simple asâ I donât know, natural selection would be a good answer? Because nature is always evolving, based on its environment and the best fit-organisms for said environment, thus resulting in a system where a subject is taught and is learning based on natural feedback?" You spat. Very quietly, to say the least. âIâm sorry. I donât know. Iâm guessing.â
Donnie's face lights up, relief and genuine delight spreading across his features. "Exactly! Yes, the human body absolutely counts as a cybernetic system. Thatâs one of the most accurate answers weâre aware of, as of now. Whichâ yes, thatâs smart to keep in mind, as we need to know about a working person's neural network before we can begin with a non-sentient subject. Or, robots, as you may call them.â Donnie smiles.Â
He pushes his glasses up again, but this time his eyes remain locked on yours. "What's your name, maâam, if you don't mind my asking?"
You tell him, feeling slightly self-conscious under his intense gaze. â(Y/n).â
â(Y/n),â he says again, a little clearer this time, giving a small nod to himself. âRight! Yes. Thatâsâthatâs a very strong example,â he continues, pushing his glasses up again, though they hadnât quite slipped yet. âNatural selection is, fundamentally, a feedback driven system. Environmental pressures act as input, and theâuhâsurvival outcomes determine which traits will persist.âÂ
His fingers start tapping again, faster now, like your answer flipped a switch somewhere in his head. âItâs not immediate, obviouslyâit operates across generationsâbut the principle is the same. Error. Variation. Correction over time.â
He glances at you again. Just for a second. Happy someone was paying attention.
ââŠgood,â he adds, softer.
The rest of the class was mostly indifferent. Time went by quicklyâ youâd been listening to your professorâs nonsensical rambles about whatever topic had weaved its way into his mind. Thankfully, he caught himself right before the hour mark, signified by a gentle clap of his hands together.Â
âAlright. Thatâs all I have for today. Donât forget to grab a syllabus on your way out. And, uhâlabs start the week after the next. Those are mandatory. Please show up to those. You will likely regret it if not.â A pause. âPreferably on time⊠weâll start out easy. Material isnât that hard. Otherwise, enjoy your weekend! See you all next week.â
Almost immediately, there is a shuffle of movement that follows. Backpacks zipping, papers shuffling, the release of a student holding in their fifth cough of the afternoon. Students were in a hurry to just leaveâ very eager to exit the building in spite of their endless boredom.Â
There was a difference with you, though. There was no point in rushing. Your next class wasnât for a while. Again, curse these 8 AMâsâ every other class was available⊠at a later, more understandable time. This time period gave you a good few hours until you had to be somewhere again.Â
By the time you make your way down toward the front, the room has thinned significantly. A few students linger, grabbing papers, but most have already disappeared into the hallway.
You reach for a syllabus, fingers brushing the edge of the stackâ
ââ(y/n), right?â
You glance up.
Holy shit, he is so much taller when youâre standing directly in front of him.Â
Professor Hamato is leaning against his desk, one hand on the back of his chair. The other holds his half-empty mug again. The lecture hallâs dim lighting catches the edge of his shell, the purple of his mask. He looks tired, but also, like heâs had an entire load lifted off of him just from class ending. More relaxed without a whole lecture hall staring back at him.
âYes! Thatâs me,â you say, your voice sounding smaller than you intended. You grab a syllabus, clutching it to your chest.
âYouâre a life sciences major of some sort, I assume?â he asks, his gaze drifting momentarily to the sticker on your laptop before returning to your face. He doesnât wait for an answer, his words picking up speed as his enthusiasm overrides his earlier tremor. âItâs a refreshing perspective. Most students in this hall are just here to check off a science credit or, worse, think theyâre engineers who know all about programming. They miss the general aspect and point of science.â
You offer a small, surprised smile. âBiology, yes. I was worried it was a bit too... organic for a class about machines.â
"Pfft. Hardly," he scoffs, the sound manifesting as a rhythmic, clicking resonance deep in his throat. He sets the coffee mug down, those long, tridactyl fingers finally finding a moment of stillness as they curl around the edge of the desk. "No. Science is everywhere; there's really no denying its reach! Biology merely mimics pre-existing mechanisms. I'm glad you were able to make that connection, even if it is something as simple as natural selection.â Your professor praises. âMost people just glaze over the parallels in the mundane world. Itâs ridiculous. I suspect if more people adopted that perspective, we'd advance as a society at a much quicker pace."
He glances away for a second, a flicker of self-consciousness crossing his features before he meets your eyes again. "Anyway," he continues, his tone shifting back to something more professorial, though a hint of that original energy remains. "I just... I wanted to say I appreciated your contribution. Don't be afraid to speak up again. Even if no one else is paying attention. If you need help with anything in this course, please donât hesitate to reach out. Itâs tougher than it looks. I promise I won't bite."
A small, genuine laugh escaped you at his attempt at humor, and you felt yourself nodding with a bit more enthusiasm than intended. You gripped the syllabus tightly, raising the paper in a silent salute as you backed away toward the exit, a smile lingering on your face. "Yes, of course. I'll absolutely take you up on that. Thank you!"
"See you next week," Donatello replied, his own head dipping in a matching nod. One of those massive, tridactyl hands rose in a slow, somewhat tentative wave, watching you depart until you finally disappeared beyond the heavy door.Â
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Apartment â„ïž
The rest of your day was a blur. Your remaining classes were just some useless extracurriculars, and the others were repeated with a teacher youâve already had. It was endless. Topics youâve already learned, countless times, just being rephrased and reiterated in different ways. Sometimes you wonder why you chose this major. It certainly got to be⊠repetitive. Your eyes scanned the catastrophe of papers that littered your apartment.Â
God, you needed a hobby.Â
The digital numbers on your microwave glowed 11:47 PM, casting a bluish rectangle across your linoleum floor. The only other lights were from the broken lamp near your window; the one that so graciously allowed the moonlight in. Your couch cushions had long since molded to your body, creating a shallow valley where you'd been straight up marinating for the past three hours. A half-empty pint of some drink had sweated condensation rings onto your coffee table, joining the community of mug stains that you swore youâd just clean later.Â
Your phone buzzed against your thighâŠanother notification from that stupid class group project nobody had bothered to start. You ignored it, thumb hovering over the streaming service's remote instead. The now additional blue light from the television paints the shadows of your apartment in shifting patterns, and as the moon shifts, it turns to highlight the mountains upon mountains of bio textbooks piled upon your dinner table.Â
Somewhere between the third episode of whatever mindless show you'd chosen, you found yourself staring at the ceiling, following the barely visible crack that branched like a lightning strike across the plaster. There were a bunch of these strikes. Duh, it was a popcorn ceiling. Idiot. Next weekâs lecture schedule scrolled behind your eyelidsâ8 AM Neural Systems, 10 AM Research in Cellular Biology , 2 PM Stats. Thank God it was Friday.Â
The praise still felt... strange. In a good way? Yes, you had thought. It was always nice to receive validation from professional figures! Even if they were âjust teachers,â as your peers had called them, it was an honor to be told something as simple as âgood-jobâ by someone of a much higher education.
Thinking about it like this has really gotten to be a low point, apparently.Â
Ping! Your phone buzzes again.
It's another notification from that stupid dating app your friends had practically forced you to join. Endlessly, through the day and the dead of night, you'd get pings from that damn thingâbut it was never a genuine connection. Not what you wanted, because at this point in life, was a relationship really worth it? The algorithm never seemed to be in your favor, always offering the horniest of men or the direct epitome of someone who is not your type!Â
As you guessed, this time, it was the first. Just another man looking for nothing but a lousy hookup. First day back, and the local man has no self respect. Predictable.
You locked your phone with a decisive click, flinging it onto the opposite cushion. No way in hell you were dealing with that tonight.
But with the presence of free thinking came a ridiculous, fleeting thought that soon invaded your mind.
The awkward, towering, ridiculously intelligent turtle professor. Tortoise, question mark?
You'd spent the rest of the night comparing your other professors to him, and they all came up lacking. They were polished, professional, and boring as hell. They taught from their slides, reciting the same tired information they'd been using for years. Donatello, on the other hand, seemed like he quite literally might just explode with the amount of ideas he had rattling in that brain of hisâ he was messy and genuine and so impossibly smart. Not to mention the words that heâd said about you. The smile he gave you after your apparently better-than-correct answer. Or even theâ
Go to sleep! Touch grass! For the love of God, find serotonin in !anything else! besides professors, you thought. This was surely just some midnight ramble your mind had spiraled into while you were busy dozing off on those goddamned insomnia meds.
Your eyes drifted shut. For a moment, just before sleep took you, your mind conjured up those geometrically unusual shrubs outside the engineering hall, certainly not sufficient as eye candy. Weird design choice. But then again, was it any more peculiar than a seven-foot-tall turtle mutant lecturing on neural systems?Â
Mutants had become integrated a long time ago. You were glad that they had been given the same opportunities humans did; much more thankful that the majority of society had accepted them for who they were. Peopleâhumans, really, discriminate far too much for concepts they do not understand. And for that, mutants, yokais, any among the like, were feared.Â
The remote slipped from your fingers, clattering softly against the hardwood floor. You were asleep before the sound fully registered.
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Lecture Hall â„ïž
The first lab was scheduled for today.Â
True to his word, the mandatory attendance day was sparsely populated. Out of a class of nearly fifty, only a handful of students had bothered to show up, including you.Â
You'd arrived early, setting up your station with lots of care! The lab was simple enough⊠constructing a simple feedback loop using basic microcontrollers and sensors that would theoretically allow the device to "learn" to avoid obstacles. It was baby stuff compared to what he'd rambled about in lecture, but still engaging.
The empty stool beside you scraped against the linoleum as your lab partner, whose name you learned to be Lilah, the art major who'd been more interested in her phone last week, stumbled into the laboratory. So. Very. Late.Â
She plopped down beside you without so much as an apology, her perfumeâsickly fruityâ pungent against the laboratory's scent. It made you scrunch your nose. If she couldnât bother to arrive on time, could she at least bother to not give everyone in a five foot vicinity a migraine? Jesus.
"Hey," she said, not looking at you but rather scrolling through her phone. "Do you have the answers for yesterdayâs assignment? I didnât bother to get it done.â Her words were a mumble; her verbality almost incoherent.Â
âI did. I left it, though.â Lie. You didnât waste your time with people like her. She scoffed, rolling her eyes and setting her keys down at an abnormally loud volume.Â
She let out a short scoff, dropping her keys louder than necessary. âCool. Love that for me. More Fâs.â Lilah had uttered. âWhatâre we even doing?â
âThe syllabus has all of the lab dates listed⊠this one is over circuitry. Basic circuitry.âÂ
âWhen did we learn that?â
âIn the papers and research that he taught then assigned⊠two days ago, I think?â
âOh.â Lilah clicked her tongue. âWell, looks like weâre failing.âÂ
Oh, Jesus. Just leave. Please leave. I can do it myself.Â
âI doubt weâll fail⊠Itâs actually pretty straightforward.If you need help, Iâm more than willing to help walk you through it!â Be nice, be nice, be nice.Â
âOh, shit, yeah. Thanks.âÂ
And with that, you explained the process to your lab partner, slower this time, pointing to the manual you'd already annotated with helpful notes. She nodded along, but you could see her eyes faltering before you'd even finished the first paragraph. And thenâ this girl, god forbidâ somewhere in the middle of your ramblings, sheâd picked up her phone to adjust the music in her earbuds. Plural, which is important to note, as both were placed in her ears!
Just deal with it. Do it yourself, itâll take less time without having to explain basic circuitry.
Your gaze lands on your professor, his back hunched over a neighboring table as he helps another student with their circuit. At least that kid seems to be paying attention; Donnie is happily in his own element, explaining god knows what about the mechanisms behind the device. Once the other student successfully programs his circuit, the turtle gives him a quick pat on the back and a nodâoff to round up the finishing groups.Â
âDude, heâs gonna beat our ass. We started late.âÂ
âUh,â there were no words able to come from your mouth. She was late! Sheâs the reason you might fail this lab for unfinished work! What an ass. âWe lost some time, thatâs all. You came in like ten minutes after we started. Is your class before this a long walk away?â
âWhat? No. I didn't have a class before this. Thatâs too early. I slept in. Hangover. You get it, right?âÂ
No. You did not get it. Partying on a weekday? Going out wasnât really your forte, but parties on a weekend made senseâ but becoming intoxicated on a Tuesday night? Please.Â
One more student until he was at your station. The buzzing fluorescent lights above seemed to intensify, you could now see every dust particle dancing in the airâ it didnât feel like this at first, but now you have suddenly gained the ability to notice every little thing thatâs been going wrong with this lab.Â
You stared at Donnie from behind your table, heaving a few breaths. What would he think if you presented a shitty project that hadnât even been started?! After the praise he gave you for your previous contributions, what were the odds he would take it back? Would he be mad? Would he be disappointed? Would heâÂ
"Hello? Earth to⊠I forgot your name." Lilah snapped her fingers in front of your face, her phone still held aloft, the blue screen reflected in her glazed eyes. "Are you gonna help me or not? I'm not failing this class because you're too busy staring at Mr. Tomato."
âIâm sorry? Tomato?â
âIs that not his name?â
âDude, no. Hamato. Come on,â you mumbled; rubbing your face.
âTomayto, tomahto,â she shrugged.Â
Shit. Have you been staring? Probably. But not like that. Not the way she was implying. "No. I was just thinking about what he might say when he gets over here," you muttered, turning back to the half-finished circuit on the table before you. You needed to finish this. The wires were neatly arranged, color-coded according to your own system that made sense to you but definitely not to her. "Here, you need to connect the sensor output to pin seven, and thenâ"
"Hold on," Lilah interrupted, scrolling through her phone with one thumb while absently fiddling with a wire with the other. Holding a wire you needed. "My friends are wondering if I want to go out Thursday night. Thirsty Thursday, you know? It's practically the weekend anyway."
You watched in horror as her hand, guided by direct ignorance, flew in the direction of a small tray of resistors.
It tips.Â
They scatter across the table like skittering pests. Some roll to the edge. Clatter to the floor. A few landed in the exposed wiring of your nearly-completed circuit.
"No, no, waitâ!"Â
You reach out too late.Â
A tiny spark flashed, and with it, came the burning plastic.Â
And, oh; the LED indicator on your microcontroller, which had previously been blinking successfully in a pattern you'd programmed ten minutes ago, went dark. Dead as a doornail.Â
"Oops." Lilah finally set her phone down, face up. "Well, that's probably not good."
âOh, youâve gotta be fucking kidding mââ
âHey, is everything going okay over here-? I saw aâ oh. Never mind.â
Well, there he was. The purple turtle, tilting his head, found his place towering over you once again. You covered your face in embarrassment, refusing to speak. Donnie clicked his tongue.Â
âAnybody mind explaining what, uh, what happened? I guess?â The reptile shrugged. He looked a little concerned; but you couldnât exactly tell what that concern was directed towards.Â
Lilah, so eager to speak yet so eager to shut up at this exact moment, had shut her mouth. Zipped it. Threw away the key. Her eyes darted towards you, begging for an excuse.Â
âI did it.â You slumped your shoulders, taking the blame for your partner. âI can fix it, though. It shouldnât take longâŠâ
Donatello simply nodded. âAlright. You can stay after, assuming you have nowhere to be. Lilah, pack up, youâre dismissed.â He nods her out of the roomâ quite vigorously, actually. Like he was adamant she would leave.Â
Some poor excuse had slipped out of her pesky little lips, now. Making things so, so much worse.Â
âOh, shoot, thanks. I totally forgot I have a study group for my art history class. Like, right now.â She flashed a smile at Donnie that was all teeth and no sincerity. âProfessor Hamtoes, is there any chance I could get an extension or exemption on the lab? Thank you! Bye!â
Donnieâs jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. âThat is⊠not even⊠remotely close to my name. There were a million other things I providedâ you know what? Nevermind.â He turned back to you, now.
Fuck. You. Asshole!!! Leaving me alone with him!!!!
You slowly lifted your head, meeting Donnieâs gaze across the table. His expression was unreadable behind his purple mask, but you could feel the frustration radiating off him in waves as he watched the spot where Lilah had disappeared.
âFor the record, I know you didnât do it. I could hear her from across the room, sheâs not subtle.â His hands moved to grip the edge of the table, and the scale of them became apparent againâ oh god. Long, tridactyl fingers that could probably encircle your entire wrist. Stop it. Stop thinking that.
He tilted his head slightly, watching as the remaining lab groups packed up their equipment and scattered out of the classroom in packs, their footsteps echoing until silence settled over the two of you.Â
âHer commentary is quite colorful. And the sound of her phone notifications are a drastically annoying high pitch. She should change it,â he mumbles. Donnie shakes his head, trying to rid himself of his negative thoughts towards students.Â
That was a habit of Professor Hamatoâs; speaking down upon those who were⊠less intelligent than him. Perhaps that was an unfortunate trait he had picked up from his brother; Leonardo, who would act the same any time they would come home from a mission and had performed much more poorly than the blue brother had. The negative talk would rub off on Donnie, and it would stick. So, he changed his ways. Donnie knows better, of courseâ he hates catching himself in this actâ and always shoves it off.Â
âYou could hear her? From that distance?â
âYes. Enhanced hearing, among other things. Perks of being a mutant and working in a primarily homosapien-dominated environment,â he clicks his tongue again. You didnât bother to ask questionsâ that was a conversation for another day. For now, you simply smiled, nodding.Â
âI see. Cool features, then.â You offered a small smile. It was cool, though.
Donatello let out a small, self-deprecating chuckle. âMm, it has its drawbacks, believe me.â
âOh, I can imagine. Sounds like a nightmare.â You found yourself watching his hands as he messed around with the circuit, running what would be his thumb over a conductor. Again, with the three fingers. Quite hard to tell what would be whaâ
STOP LOOKING!!!
Your gaze was pulled away immediately. He just laughed, seemingly oblivious and unaware of the thoughts that roamed your mind.
âYou have no idea.â A shake of your professorâs head and a genuine smile graced his face. âComes in handy sometimes, though. Especially when I troubleshoot things, I donât know. Makes it easier to narrow things down.âÂ
He adjusted his goggles, pushing them up his forehead with one long finger. âWhen I was in college, rather than teaching, I think I used to drive my lab partners insane when they pulled stunts like⊠whatâs her face, that just left.â He cursed himself for being discriminatory towards a student⊠yet again.Â
A small breath of a nervous laugh escapes him as he continues. âTheyâd always get a little bit, please pardon my language here,â pissedâ when theyâd break something and I would persist that they stay and fix it.âÂ
âI always thought it was easy,â he rambles, continuing, âbecause I could hear what was wrong with it. Took me a minute to realize regular humans arenât exactly capable of that,â a light snort came from his nose.Â
You chuckled at his little curse, the word not being anywhere near as vulgar as the things youâve heard from students, but it was nice knowing he felt comfortable enough to say so.Â
âWell⊠I guess I can confidently say I know how you feel,â you smiled softly; warm, like seeping honey.Â
âHow did you end up teaching?â You shifted your weight, the metal legs of your stool scraping against the linoleum. âYou seem like a genius compared to everyone else here, youâre clearly overqualifiedââ Realization hit mid-sentence, and you rushed to fix it. âIn a good way! Of course. Iâm just curious what led you here.â
Donatello shakes off your mistake with another laugh. Leaning against the table as you two spoke again, the fabric of his lab coatâ that he only really wore when working with his materialsâ pulled tight across his shoulders. People were starting to trickle out. âYouâre okay, no offense taken. I have another job,â he says, his voice dropping an octave. âThis is only a fraction of the work I do. Iâm a researcher and lead scientist for a private lab nearby. Teaching is just a change of pace for me.âÂ
A hand comes up to cover his face as he makes his next statement. âAnd, donât worry about it, thatâs how most people react when they think thatâs all I subject myself to. How my brothers did, too. One of them. At least. Not my proudest moment.â Hm. Seems he wasnât very fond of recalling that memory, whatever it may have been.
âI will refrain from asking, then.â Your response came out softer than you intended, barely above a whisper in the now-silent lab. Outside, the afternoon sun angled through the windows, casting elongated shadows that danced across the floor like shy visitors at an awkward party.
Donnie nodded, his gaze lingering a moment longer than necessary before he moved toward the nearby supply cabinet. The doors opened with a soft hiss.
His fingers, those fascinating three-fingered hands, fuck, why are you so focused on his handsâ bypassed several smaller instruments before selecting a screwdriver that seemed impossibly large. It was sleek and metallic, a deep purple, matching his mask. Custom accommodated for his mutated size.Â
As he walked back to the table, those eyes of yours drifted to his clothing choices for the day. His arms were so unbelievably defined underneath his lab coat. It was cut out in a funky shape, so his shell was somehow still visible in the back in order for it to not be a giant lump covered by material, but sewn again so it looked somewhat normal from afar. As normal as he could get, that is.
He leaned over your damaged circuit, mumbling scientific jargon.Â
"Resistance is fried, obviously," he murmured, more to himself than to you. "And the capacitor took the brunt of the surge. Amateur mistake, really."
His thumbâlarge and greenâtraced along the damaged board. You wondered briefly if his skin felt like a human's or if it was different. Rougher? More textured?Â
Cut it out, cut it out. Cut. It. Out.
"I need to start building my own circuit boards to hand out to classes, these are not put together very well. Anybody could damage them in a heartbeat if they wanted to,â He paused, glancing at you over the top of his goggles. "Though most would have been paying more attention." That was more of a jab towards the other girl. Maybe all the arguing between those two that you had heard was getting to him.Â
Heâs got a sense of humor, too.
There was no accusation in his tone, just a statement of fact. Still, you felt warmth creep up your neck.Â
"She was... distracted. Just broke the thing by accident. At least itâs able to be fixed."
"Mmm," he hummed in response, his focus returning to the circuit. "There's a difference between being distracted and being uninterested. I'd say she fell into the latter category."
He finished with a final, decisive twist of the screwdriver and straightened up. The microcontroller's LED flickered back to life, blinking in the pattern you had programmed earlier. He had not only fixed what was broken but improved upon the original design, adding a small protective component that would prevent similar damage in the future.
"There," he said, turning slightly toward you. "That should hold."
Your eyes met across the table, and for a fraction of a second, you froze. His eyes, so dark, seemed to see right through you, and you found yourself unable to look away.
The distant sound of a door closing down the hallway broke that sense, and you both blinked.
"It's getting late, and you probably have other classes," he remarked, his tone softening as he spoke. "I should probably let you get on your way."
Neither of you moved. The lab equipment continued to hum softly, the only sound in the space you now shared. You could hear your own heart beating, steady and insistent against your ribs.
"I should," you agreed, still making no attempt to leave.
He extended the screwdriver toward you, an invitation. "Want to try adding the sensor calibration yourself? I can walk you through it. If you donât have anywhere to be, that is. Canât have you skipping."
âNowhere to be. Itâs an easy day today.â The words were quieterâ but why? Why does your voice betray you now?Â
When you finally managed to look at his face again, you saw Donatello waiting patiently for your response. There was a slight tilt in his head; the tails of his mask following along.
âIâd be happy to learn,â you said, voice quieter now, eyes dropping back to the circuit. You grasped one of the components like you were studying it, which you would happily be doing, on a normal dayâ! Though, your focus kept drifting somewhere else.Â
âShow me how?â You handed Donnie the circuit again.
He took it, zero hesitation and full attention.
âHappily.â
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Apartment â„ïž
10:00 p.m.
The deadbolt of your shithole apartment locked with a satisfying click.Â
For just below $1000 per month, youâd managed to find what was possibly the worst apartment that was closest to the university as possibleâ that apartment so, so conveniently (you think, with sarcasm), has the world's shittiest utilities, wifi, and, the worst of all⊠neighbors.Â
Every night. It was like a damn party in their house, you swear. When it wasnât a party, it was like they were two mating rabbits, heinous for nothing but the scent of their own lust.Â
Their headboard had to be broken by now, you wondered. Matter of fact, youâre almost 100% positive it hasâ! The sound youâve tried too fucking hard to drown out has seeped through earbuds, earplugs, classical music, quite literally anything. Noise machines: a useless investment. Banging back on the wall in spite did nothing. They just didnât quit.
In a measly attempt to focus on quite literally anything other than their nightly romantic incursions, you breathed in the scent of warm eucalyptus as thick steam arose from a teapot. The liquid caffeine had some remnants of jasmine⊠even some apple, you noticed. Light notes.Â
Certainly better than whatever your neighborâs room probably smelled like.Â
Your hand gripped softly, gently around the handle of the green teapot; the steam blooming onto your face and drafting into the air. The ceramic was warm on your palm.Â
Youâre glad youâre able to focus on this, and not on the endless whines and thumping coming from your shared wall.
The intruding thoughts of today's little⊠conversation with your professor starts to invade, anyway.Â
Forget about it. Jesus. It was nothing. Youâre being inappropriate, stop getting hooked on people you canât have.Â
You carried the steaming mug over to your sofa, sinking into the familiar dip of the cushions. It was dark. Again. You werenât one for the big lightsâ the natural lighting from the moon served you just fine. You focused on the tea, letting the floral notes of jasmine and apple settle your nerves.Â
Might as well get this part of the night over with while youâre still willing.Â
The intro to one of many dating apps jingles as itâs opened. A red notification bubble disappears as you click on the â3 New Messages!â button.Â
From one man, named Matt, who youâd been somewhat speaking to for the past week or so, were a set of triplet messages. Man mustâve been desperate as fuck when he sent these.Â
Alright. Brace yourself, you thought.
From Matt, 9:42 PM: getting ready to showerÂ
From Matt, 9:42 PM: itâs a shame uâre not in here w me
From Matt, 9:43 PM: hello? ik ur online
Sigh. Do frat boys not have anything better to do? Sad adult men, they were.
You didn't respond. Matter of fact, you hit the block button-- the personal image didn't exactly do it for you, anyways. You were starting to find a common pattern amongst these men holding giant ugly fish in their profile pictures.
Why were you even doing this? To appease those friends of yours, the ones so firm and convinced that this was the only path toward securing a partner? Youâd thought back to that one miserable day, the one miserable day where your friends had signed you up for the apps without your permission. The first time a message popped up was enough to scare the absolute shit out of your system. It didnât help that that message was one of more explicit nature.Â
In hopes of the app working, you kept it. Now it just felt like a stupid game. Some app you regularly checked in on every night, like social media, or something. Trying to bring yourself to delete it was a meticulous task; what if it did work⊠eventually? What if? What if, what if, what if?Â
A particularly loud bang against the shared wall snapped you back to the present. Your teacup rattled in its saucerâ spilling a little bit of its contents.Â
âShut! The fuck! Up!âÂ
You slammed your mug down onto the coasterâharder than necessary, maybe, hoping the retaliatory clatter would carry through the wall. Useless. They wouldnât notice a wrecking ball at this point.
You sank deeper into the sofa, the warmth of the tea doing nothing to ease the headache from the noise.Â
Your dating life was a joke. You were stuck in this shoebox of an apartmentâ thank you, New Yorkâ marinating in other peopleâs animalistic noises. What was the point of all of this? Your major was a dead end. Biology was a strong suitâ over multiple years of your education, youâd expect it to beâ but it just wasnât a passion.
That emotion was enough to get the best of you, for the night. Tipping your head back onto the couch brought such a sense of relief.Â
With Jasmine and apple lingering on your tongue, and the blue moon sifting through the blinds, you decided that attempting to sleep wasnât such a bad idea.
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Donnieâs Scientific Research Laboratory â„ïž
3:00 a.m.
The soft hum of specialized machinery filled the pristine white corridors as Donatello made his way through the underground research facility.Â
He, in his figure, towered over absolutely everyone there; but it was natural. In his element, the man didnât care. The top of his head damn near hit the top of the ceiling, his legs causing a louder stomping sound he tried so hard to muffle.Â
"Morning, Donnie!" chirped a coworker of his from behind a microscope. He barely looked up, dark curls falling in front of the circles below his eyes. "Howâd the first week go? Bearable, I presume?"
âGood very early morning, Dr. Perez.â Donnie managed a smile, his shoulders slumping slightly and what would be his nose, scrunching into a sarcastical bunch. As he sat down, he kicked his feet up on the top of one of his desks; it got him a light side eye, but, who the fuck cares. One leg hooked over the side of the desk, the other bouncing faintly, restless.
âUhâyeah, bearable,â Donnie mumbled. âOne of them shorted a basic microcontroller. Whichâ I mean, it's fine, that happens, butââ he huffed quietly through his nose, rubbing the bridge of his glasses. âThat was... f'king great to repair.â The curses came out mumbled; in a workplace like this, it was really considered disrespectful; a habit he needed to quit.Â
"Her lab partner stayed and helped fix it, though. Thankfully. She's actually... remarkably intuitive, from what Iâve seen. A biology major. Most people in her situation usually take it for the GPA boost. But it's a refreshing perspective, I admit."Â
His eyes glazed over his coworkers' current project, eyeing the slides he was examining via microscope. Although, with his eyes now darting around, it was quite clear he was thinking about something else.
Perez hummed, adjusting the microscope. âYou donât usually get this detailed about students. Should I be concerned?â
"Iâwhat?" Donnie's face grew warmer, his purple mask doing little to hide the sudden color rush to his cheeks. "That's notâthat is completelyâ"
The scientist laughed, a bright sound that carried down the corridor. "Relax, big guy. I'm just teasing. But I did notice you worked late in the university lab yesterday according to the access logs. And you're usually back here by 4 PM sharp."
"The circuit broke. I had to fix it, thank you, my other classes ran a little longer," Donnie mumbled, standing up to make his escape toward his private workstation. âAnd, hey, some students require additional guidance!"
"Yeah, okay, Mr. Additional Guidance, you want me to remember that one next time you start dogging on people for being dumber than you?"
âThat motherfâ okay, Iâm exiting myself from this conversation! Goodnight!â Donnie called, shaking his head and covering his face with his hands; a groan escaping his mouth. Â
Donnie continued to walk the trek to his own personal lab. The automatic doors slid open with a soft hiss, revealing what was once a stark white room, now transformed into a decorative combination of deep purple and ebony black. LED strips ran across the wall in meticulous shapes and patterns, the light pulsing like a rhythmic throb.Â
There was an immense amount of random bullshit tossed and thrown across the floorâbut up front, highlighted by the dim glow as if it were in a spotlight, sat a white bionic arm mechanism; torn into tiny, tiny pieces and strewn about.
âLook at you,â he muttered to the inanimate object, his voice a low rumble. âYou beautiful idiot. Youâre supposed to be perfect. Been working on you for ages and youâve given me nothing.â The turtle ran a finger along the piece of machinery⊠the circuits whine.Â
Five weeks ago, the turtles had faced a fight unlike any other.
Correction: Raph and Donnie had faced a fight unlike any other. Patrol went wrong. So, so, wrong.
Donnie hasnât shut his eyes since.
â°â„ïž âźFlashback: Patrol
It was Raph and Donnieâs night for patrol; Leo and Mikey had stayed back. Training, as always.
Purple and Red had been tracking hordes of foot soldiers through the industrial district when the ambush occurred. It was supposed to be a routine sweep, as it always was!! But the silence of the docks had been a lie.Â
A fucking ruse.Â
Donnie had been too focused on his tech. Eyes glued to his scanner as he tried to pinpoint the source of a lingering signal, completely oblivious to the sharp flash of steel aimed at his shell.Â
Why was it flashing? Where was this signal coming from? God, if he had been listening, only listeningâ!!
A fraction too late, Donnie looked up.
Raphael hadnât even blinked before thrusting his massive frame into the line of fire. Shielding Donnie from getting his then-oblivious head chopped off from a fucking ambush attack.
The foot soldier's blade sliced into Raphâs skin with a hiss. The physical sensation was a white-hot flash of agony that instantly numbed his entire side, followed by the terrifyingly warm, heavy rush of blood soaking through his gear.Â
Raph had always thought he was the strongest. Physically, that was.
In two seconds, that was ripped away from him, quicker than Donnie couldâve possibly intervened.Â
Donnie watched in horror as the blade connected with his brother's right arm. Severing. Ripping through reptilian skin and flesh with a sound that would haunt his nightmares for yearsâa sickening wet tear followed by Raph's choked scream of pain.
Bloodâso much bloodâ what, what is he supposed to doâ? He couldâve stopped this, had he just been listening, for fuckâs sake-â!
No. Every time Donnie had thought about it⊠the guilt had been an immediate, corrosive acid in his gut. Raphâs screams. Raw, painful, theyâd bring tears to Donnieâs eyes any time he thought about the occurrence. Heâd wake up screaming in the middle of the night; thinking the incident was his fault. Was it not?
While Leo and Mikey had focused on the recovery, Donnie had retreated into the only sanctuary that made sense: his lab. If his brother had lost a part of himself to protect Donnieâs incompetence, then Donnie would build him something better than flesh and bone. Better to hide than do nothing and sulk. Pft. Not like Raph would want to see him. Or, at least, thatâs what he thinks.Â
Amongst a bionic arm that is painted stark white, all Donnie can visualize is red. Crimson liquid and metallic steel.Â
The thought flashes in his mind.
He canât do this on his own.Â
For weeks, thatâs what Donnie did. He sat. Stared at the arm. Radio silence.Â
How was he supposed to fix anything out there when he couldnât even figure out how to fix himself?
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Lecture Hall â„ïž
Many Weeks LaterâŠ
Almost always, youâre the first to walk in. Donatello is sitting down at his desk, cup of coffee in hand, nodding and smiling over the cup as you sit down. Your presence has begun to be something he expects, now.Â
Sometimes, you two talk! More often than not, actually.Â
Heâll ask how your week has been. How your weekend has been, if youâve done anything interesting. Once or twice, youâve admitted to having a few fun nights out, getting drunk at a bar. He always snorted at that. Never has he had a student openly admit something as ludicrous as intoxication.Â
Youâve become increasingly good at his class. So much so, that heâs had a personal talk about you switching your major. With this being your last year in college, you played that one off with a nervous chuckle.Â
It was true though. You were fucking incredible at whatever it was he had managed to teach you.Â
Thereâs been a few times heâs stayed after during lab days; playing your conversations off at his research job as another circuitry or laboratory malfunction, lying on those days, just because he became engaged in some silly conversation with you. About robotics. Comics. Science. Sometimes, it even got as advanced as relationship history.Â
Hell, you even told him about the motherfucker that decided to sext you in the middle of the night. But you didnât go very in depth there.
Weeks pass by. Multiple, and youâre practically acing the course! Professor Hamatoâs lecture hall, once a sea of unwilling academics, starts to empty. One by one. Two by two. You noticed your old art major friend has decided to drop the class; likely for the better. What a tiring individual. Itâs just the core few now.Â
The lecture hall was half-empty when you arrived, early as always.Â
Donatello stood at his desk, hunched halfway over instead of just sitting, arranging slides for today's presentation. His lab coat was slung over his shoulder, not on, this time. As you approached your seat, he looked up, a smile already forming beneath his mask.
"Good morning," he said, his voice softer than when he addressed the full class. He seemed tired. "Youâre here early again? I'm starting to think you don't sleep."
"I could say the same to you." You replied, taking your usual seat in the front row. To your dismay, your voice carried a hint of a flirtatious lilt. Maybe a side effect of the lack of shut eye.Â
âRough night?âÂ
âIâll spare you the details.â
His eyes darkened momentarily before he recovered. "Please do. Sleep patterns and their correlations fascinate me."
You softly chuckled, shaking your head. "Yeah, a little bit of a rough night then, I guess."
"Oh?" His head tilted, those three-fingered hands stilling on his keyboard. "Studying too hard again?"
âI wish.â You mutter under your breath. âI donât sleep well in general. Though my neighbors might share some blame. Theyâre very⊠animalistic, when night comes around.â Phrasing that in a way that didnât just straight up tell him that your neighbors were going at it all night was slightly more difficult than you had guessed. That conversation was much easier when you had imagined it in your head.
"Ah," he said, his voice lower now. "Yeah, I get it. I have some expertise in that particular area of suffering." His thumb gestured vaguely toward the empty lecture hallâ thankful for the lack of students. âLiving with three brothers teaches you a lot about that kind of⊠unwanted noise.â
Spring was not Donnieâs favorite time of year. By God, heâd invented his own white noise systems to drown out Mikey, sometimes.Â
âThree brothers!?âÂ
âYes, good god!! Donât even get me started onââÂ
As if on cue, a group of students began to trickle in from the back door; the entrance near the very top of the lecture hallway. They had erupted into some previous conversation about a party that went on during the weekend. Yeah, not your forte, but at least they made it on time? Not that you cared.Â
Donnie exhaled; the sound audible to only the first few rows. âMaybe that was my cue to shut up. So be it then,â he said, his voice shifting to a more formal tone as he straightened his stance and switched his location to the front of his computer. He cracked his neck and sat down on top of the desk, swinging his gigantic feet as he watched only a few other students waltz inside.Â
You could just barely hear the sound of his cargo pants swishing against themselves. You forced your gaze elsewhere, desperate to look away before that image became ingrained in your traitorous mind and (un?)willingly altered into something else.Â
Like morning fog, Donnieâs voice had dissipated into the crowd of students. They were all of different ages, but the main focal point of the disturbance came from the twenty-somethings. Hungover. Yet again. Jesus, did you miss the message that this place mustâve been a party school?Â
âWe all settled in?â You heard him mumble to himself. His eyes darted around the room, tongue sticking out for a brief moment. He did that a lot, you noticed. The tongue thing.Â
âCool, coolcoolcoolcool. Soââ With a clap of his hands, Donnie switched on the presentation of slides that he had prepared. âI know weâre nearing the end of the semester, but I wanted to offer a special opportunity for any of you interested in gaining some extra research experience. None of this is for a grade, so if youâre not interested, tune me out. Or leave. Please.âÂ
A couple took him up on that offer.Â
âAnyways⊠I'm leading a project outside of this university that requires some additional hands. Itâs a personal thing. Funded by the technology company I work for. Fancy stuff, if youâre looking for that kind of thing on your resume, I guess?âÂ
Donnie spent a few seconds observing the remaining reactions. Some were uninterested, a few tilted their headsâ he didnât have to land his eyes on you to know that you were paying attention. Even if it was just out of respect, of course.Â
âThis project,â he says, air-quoting slightly, âis a bionic prosthetic. A robotic arm, basically. Like something youâd see in a movie. Iâm trying to rework the interface so it feels more natural.â He pauses, exhaling through his nose. âHowever, thereâs a problem! Itâs not working. And Iâd very much like it to within the next month or so.â His voice was a tad bit sassy, even dismissing, almost? Like he was frustrated. Probably.
From the back, someone interrupted. âDo we have to, like⊠do a lot?â
Donnie blinks once. âYes.â
Thereâs a moment of silence.
âThatâs generally how contribution works.â
âOh. Nevermind.â Jesus Christ. That was the cherry on top of an already cherry filled cake.Â
"Yes, it will be intensive," he groaned. "Time-consuming. But for those of you who actually decide to stick with it, the experience will be unlike anything you'll get in this classroom. I feel like that's a given."Â
He set the papers down, leaning against his desk with practiced nonchalance. "If any of you are interested, see me after class with your transcripts and a brief statement about why you think you'd be a good fit for this kind of work." Again. His eyes darted towards you. Lingered a second. Then, back to the crowd.
And with that, his presentation was over. Your professor had jumped straight from that into today's lab: a continuous project of building and calibrating a miniature robot, of sorts!Â
Simple work.
â°â„ïž âź
Youâd gone a bit rogue with the circuitry and coding behind your bot, thus taking a bit longer than usual to clean. Not an unusual circumstance. Having the place to yourself was nice! After your lab partner dropped out, everything had run much more smoothly. Occasionally, people had come to ask you for help, but it was of no issue. Packing away your tools the way you wanted to had started to feel more therapeutic rather than some godawful stress ritual.Â
Gazing down at the miniature bot in its case for the first time, you couldnât help but think those childhood STEM camps had actually paid offâ as it truly does look like something that was ripped straight out of a Transformers movie! Well, if you sized an autobot down by literal millions. Stripped it down to its core. Heavily reprogrammed it way past what you were assigned. But its little face was kind of cute!
This thing doesnât look half-bad! Professional, to some degree, you thought. I wonder whatâ
A soft cough broke your concentration. Followed by the soft scent of coffee steam.Â
Donatello stood behind you, eyeing your bot with his hands shoved in his lab coatâ the one he mustâve shoved on at some point in class, today. He leaned against the frame of a table that connected to your own.Â
"Sorry! Sorry,â he said, pushing himself upright. "Didn't mean to startle you." Was he watching?
You shook your head, tightening the last screw on your project case. "No, youâre fine! Just making sure my little guy doesn't get damaged in transport."
He nodded slowly, taking a smaller step towards your workstation. âI like what youâve done with the joints. Itâs a different approach than what I see in the masses, usually. Youâre very creative.â
Heat crept up your neck as you clicked the latches shut. "Oh, that? That⊠that was just an experiment. Or something, I donât know. I was gonna take it off. I thoughtâ"
âIâm praising your work, (y/n), not harassing you for it. Sometimes innovation requires you to think outside of the box.â He smiled with a snort. Your cheeks turned red. âDo you have experience with robots like these?â
âOh, Iâ I messed around with them a little bit a few years ago, yeah. I build some models for my bio classes, sometimes. Helps me put miniscule things into perspective.â
Donnieâs hands emerged from his pockets, one adjusting his glasses while the other toyed with torn fabric ends of his lab coat. He seemed interested in asking you somethingâ paying very close attention to what you just said.Â
âDo you think that youâd be⊠interested in the prosthetics research opportunity I mentioned earlier? By any chance?â His arms crossed, tight in the material that highlighted their flex. âI think... I think you'd be perfect for it."
You looked up, trying your best to meet his eyes that stared down at you through his broken tortoiseshell glasses.Â
âMe?â
âOf course, yes. Who else?â
â...me? Of all people?â
That question left your professor a little dumbfounded.Â
â(Y/n)⊠come on.â His tone softened, more earnest than insistent. âYouâve consistently outperformed most of the class and others, you canât deny that. I donât know why you signed up for this course when you wouldâve easily excelled in something so much more prestigious!" He pressed on, voice maintaining that careful professional tone while his fingers drummed against the metal of your workbench. "Your bot, there? Thatâs honestly among some of the early-stage work that my colleagues have done. So why... why in the world would you pick biology?"Â
He blurted that question out before catching himself.
"Thatcameoutveryquickly. Iâm sorry. I meant thatânot that biology isn't a perfectly respectable fieldâI, oh, god."Â
"It's just... complicated," you started, unsure where this conversation was headed. âFinals week is approaching, sir, Iâd really like to, butââÂ
"Complicated," Donatello repeated softly, testing the word on his tongue. His eyesâgod, those eyes behind his glasses. Any time he came to speak to you, it was like they had this way of making you feel like you were the only person who'd ever existed in this unfair universe. "Finals week... right. Of course, how could I forget?â
You watched as his professional mask slipped back into place, the earnestness replaced by that slightly detached academic demeanor he used in lecture halls. It almost sounded like he had mumbled something along the lines ofâ âDonnie, youfuckingidiot, not-even-taking-schedules-into-accountâ His fingers stopped drumming against your workbench.
"I understand," he said, and there was something disappointing in his tone that you couldn't quite place. "Deadlines wait for no one. Especially in your field."Â
You should have just walked away then.. should have packed your damn things and disappeared into the morning dew like all the other students. But your feet stayed planted, your bot clutched in your hands.
"Waitâ! I'm not saying no," you heard Donnie halt.Â
The words had escaped before your brain could censor them. "I just... I don't know if I'm the person you think I am for your project." You gestured vaguely at your bot. "This is justâme, messing around with little robots until I come up with something that satisfies me. Your research sounds... very important, Professor. Outside of my capabilities."
Donatello's head tilted again. âPardon my statement of what is obvious knowledge to me, but thatâs how most groundbreaking discoveries start. Messing around, as you put it." He took a small step closer, careful not to invade your space completely, but enough that you could see the tiny piece of tape that held his glasses together.Â
"Look," he continued, his voice dropping to that softer register he'd used earlier. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't think you had something unique to offer. Iâm serious. Iâd genuinely appreciate it if we could have hands like yours on the team. If there even is a team. I havenât checked my email since I alerted everyone else of itâŠ" Again, you find those words mumbled under his breath. Like he was annoyed. Not with you, of course.
"Can I let you know by Monday?" you finally said, meeting his gaze properly for what felt like the first time. "I need time. To really think about it, that is. But I promise I can let you know. Email, or something?"
The relief that washed over his face was palpable, though he tried to hide it with a quick nod. "Yes, Monday works! I'll be in my office during my usual hours." He paused, his eyes darting to your bot one last time before adding, "Or you could just... find me here. I tend to work late."
âIf things donât work out, email me. My notifications are on at all times, itâs egregious. But Iâll respond. Just let me know?â It was phrased more as a kindhearted, casually offered question. Not a statement.
âI promise.âÂ
Donnie nodded, and with that, you found yourself jiggling the keys to your apartment door; face red, perfectly prepared to collapse on your couch until midnight.
â°â„ïž âź
Location: A Bar, Downtown â„ïž
9:00 P.M.
Your slumber never came.Â
That night, the regular thumping noise youâd heard wasn't from your neighbors.Â
The thumps you now heard would come from the guitar strums, drum beats and vocal screams of a poorly mixed cover band... not to mention the throbbing headache you had from the noise pollution from the residents of a crowded downtown bar.Â
The pulse in your head was aching-- aching so hard, but, alas. Anything was better than the vocals of your suitemates around this time of night.
Everything became louder, it felt like. Sounds became unusually amplified. Dart tips hitting cork, pool balls cracking, someone sliding a fresh pizza onto the counter near the kitchen window. The smell of melted cheese mixed with stale beer and something smoky. It smelt phenomenal. You sat at a high-top table, nursing a strong drink that tasted faintly of lime⊠and something else. You couldnât quite place it. You just told the bartender to give you something thatâd make you feel something, for fuck's sake.
You had tried to go home. God, you had really tried. But the silence of your apartment that night... was, (and, this is contradicting--) far too loud. No noise machine could cancel out the sounds. Not the audible, nor the mental. Nada.
That got to you, too. The mental thoughts.Â
Finals week. What a fun week! Not.
You could make it. You could make it through this last year. Youâve done it before, why not again?Â
Cause youâre not that smart, thatâs why. Pfft. Doesnât take a genius to see that.Â
Your head was thumped down on your hand as the thoughts racedâ intrudingâthrough your head. Maybe alcohol wasnât the best move for tonight.Â
There was too much going on. Too many thoughts to have.Â
Number one was the easiest to figure out: you had no idea what you wanted to do with your life. It was as simpleâand as frustratingâas that, whether you liked it or not.
Sure, majoring in biology was supposed to get you somewhere, but with everything you could muster up in you, there was little to almost no passion! Nothing! The only joy you found out of the science was the capabilities of the human body⊠and even occasionally, building models of said attributes that correlate with the subject. Even still⊠there was no spark.
Number two. That goddamned professor of yours.Â
Where to even start?Â
Maybe the way he always looked at you. Or spoke to you. Or was so eager to speak with you about your weekend and how guys tended to send unusually explicit messages so early in the morning.Â
He was really good at conversation, you realized. The turtle was a nervous, socially anxious wreck, who never raised his voice in a serious way. Sarcastically, sure. Only to things that were common fucking sense, though.
When you spoke, he would listen, with a tilt of his head. When you spoke, he would listen with such. Genuine. Curiosity. His eyes would always follow yours as you got lost in a train of thought; where that train was going, you didnât knowâ probably in a loop and straight back to him.Â
And then there was your current problem. Number Three. A phone buzz. Again.Â
Didnât you block this guy?
A hand ran through your hair as you groaned⊠reading the text message he had sent prior to tonight. This was âMattâ againâ the same guy who'd woken you up three nights ago with explicit texts about what he wanted to do to you while describing in painful detail how your biology knowledge could "assist" his anatomy lesson. You'd blocked him twice. He just kept popping up. Somehow.
In annoyance, and, admittedly very drunkâ you may have accidentally told him youâd be at the local bar. Thatâs how.
âWell, well. Small world," he slurred, beer breath assaulting your nose. Shit burned your eyes, too. Reeked of nacho cheese and breadsticks. "You're even prettier in person.â
âDonâ even try it,â you slurred back, already turning away, elbow slipping a little as you tried to catch the bartenderâs eye. âMâ gettinâ my check.â
âHey, I'm talking to you," his hand closed around your arm, damp with condensation from his glass. âDon't be like that. I was just being honest.â
"I'm not interested," you managed, voice steady despite your hammering heart. "Please leave me alone."
"Feisty. Just like in your messages," he leaned closer, whiskey fumes making your eyes water. "I bet you're wild once someone gets past that good girl act."
âYeah, oâkay, bye.â The chair beneath you creaked as you shoved it aside.Â
The bartender appeared suddenly, placing a check firmly between you and your harasser. "Her night is covered. I suggest you leave now."
Matt looked from the bartender's unsmiling face to yours, contorting his mouth. "Fine," he finally shrugged, backing away slowly. "Your loss." He held his hands up in defeat. âText you later!â He had mouthed.Â
Yeah, please donât.Â
As he disappeared into the crowd, relief washed over you so strongly you nearly slumped off the barstool. The bartender refilled your water glass wordlessly.
"Thank you," you whispered, fingers trembling around the glass. She simply nodded.Â
Outside, the cold air felt fucking phenomenal against your skin. Like a cold shower after a warm workout. It was almost enough to bring you to a sober state, but, not quite. You remained in a state rather just below.Â
Wobbling up the stairs felt like trying to walk after getting off a boat. The steps mixed in with each other, you had suddenly forgotten where the railing wasâ where was your apartment door, again? Was it always this far down?
You stopped in the darkness, kind of just⊠staring out. Your phone slipped out of your pocket into your hands. 13% remaining, the yellow battery had warned.Â
The screen turning on was like the lights of heaven resurfacing themselves. Notifications started stacking along the top.
Three missed calls. And a dozen. Unread. Texts.Â
One of them stood out to you particularly.Â
One of them= problem number two. Your favorite problem.
Of course it was his email you found yourself opening. Donatello Hamato. Professor Hamato, Doctor Hamato, blah blah blah, whatever he had gone byâ nothing else seemed to be of importance right now. Fidgeting with the doorknob of your apartment, your feet stumble their way inside.Â
The door swung halfway shut behind you, and you leaned against it for a second, blinking down at your phone.
The email was mostly an infographic sheet about the project he had practically begged to have you on.Â
You stared at it longer than you meant to. Heâd actually put this together for youâcolor-coded sections, bullet points, notes in the margins? Heâd made this with you in mind. That much was obvious. No pressure, heâd said. Just think about it. But he hadnât looked at anyone else like that when he said it.Â
And after tonight, after Matt, that isâ and feeling so undeniably and absolutely clueless about the future? Yeahhh, emailing him felt like a fantastic idea! (Although, the alcohol likely supported that decision.)
Sober you had entertained that thought once or twice. She just needed a little push, though. Maybe that was why you went out tonight. Hm.
Pft. Yeah, fuck doing this sober. Your thumbs were already flying across the screen, autocorrect be damned.
Hi Professor. I know you said to think about it and I DID think about it. i read your flyer and I am thinking about it right now. actually. Crazy
And I think Iâd like to help. With the arm. The prosthetic thing. Which is very cool by the way. I meant to say that earlier but I think I panicked and talked about finals instead. whoops i am sorry.Â
I donât actually know what Iâm doing with my major. Which is probably not something I should be emailing you at 9:42 PM about. But biology is just. I donât know itâs fine. I think? I keep thinking about the project. And the joints and the interface thing you mentioned and how it responds to movement and stuff. I think Iâm half decent at that? Pretty sure
Anyway. I think Iâd like to be involved if that offer is still open. I can handle the workload. Definitely. I stayed late today and didnât even notice, so that has to count for something.
Also this email might not be very professional. I promise I am normally more coherent than this.
But yes. I would like to join the research project. I think itâs research, if you still want me.Â
â (Y/N), Neural Systems
Your brain flicked back to all of those times youâve verbally made fun of the students that came in with hangovers. Youâre a hypocrite now, too. A hypocrite on a Friday night.Â
"Fuck," you muttered, trudging to your bedroom. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."
You collapsed onto your bed, face first. The comforters, chilled by the AC, felt like a mercy against your skinâthankfully cool enough to coax your mind back toward semi-sobriety as the buzz lifted. Of course, the relief was only temporary. That godawful headache would undoubtedly be waiting for you in the morning.
Reading back on the message now, you donât know what godforsaken part of you thought that that message was okay to send. Butâ you know. Inebriation and its effects on the mind. What a beautiful misdemeanor.
The start of the migraine was almost immediate. Blindly fumbling for the pill bottle on your bedside table, you managed to peel the ibuprofen from the blister pack and wash it down with a desperate gulp of the lukewarm, old water left in the glass by your bed. Yuck. Wasnât even cold.Â
The logical part of your brainâthe sober part that was now slowly resurfacingâtold you that there was nothing to be done until morning. You'd face the consequences then. Perhaps you could claim your email account had been hacked. Or that you'd sleepwalked and typed it unconsciously. Orâ
As the glass hit the nightstand again, your phone buzzed against the wood.
What the hell? Itâs been six minutes, a response already? Shit. Shit, shit shit, this was supposed to be a future-you problem!! Your heart hammered against your ribs⊠the water and pill you just ingested threatening to come back out. The sheets rustled as your hand aimed for where your phone had been placed.
Right. God, He was a night owl. He literally told you that himself.Â
I'm glad to see your email. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't refreshing my inbox hoping for it.
First, let me address the obvious: your current state of... inebriation, if I had to guess? Unless you compose all your correspondence with the same delightful disregard for punctuation and capitalization? (I ask purely for research purposes, I swear.)
I'm guessing you're not writing this from your usual academic mindset. That's okay. I appreciate the honesty. Though I do hope you're somewhere comfortable and not in the middle of nowhere, like a road. I donât know. Safety first. :)
Secondâand more importantlyâYES. Absolutely, unequivocally yes! The offer is more than open, and in more broad regards, I was sincerely hoping that it would be you to volunteer. Your work during labs (and outside of!) is absolutely outstanding. I canât wait to see how you apply your skills in person.Â
My lab is in the science building, third floor, west wingâjust past the organic chemistry labs. The sign says "Neural Interface Laboratory," but I'm usually the only one there after hours. Room 302. If you're not too hungover tomorrow, come by around 2 PM? I'll have coffee. And water, which is absolutely more important.
We'll discuss logistics Monday during office hours. Try to get some sleep! Your brain functions better when rested.
Full disclosure. There isn't much of a team yetâyou're kind of it, if you accept.
Get some rest (for my sake and yours),Â
Donatello Hamato, Ph.D.
Neural Systems, Adaptive Robotics & Research Specialist
You read the email twice. Three times. Then a fourth for good measure. Each reading sent another wave of heat through your cheeks. He wasn't mad. He wasn't offended by your informal, very intoxicated message. He seemed amused?
Maybe the alcohol will diffuse in the morning. The embarrassment⊠likely not.Â
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Apartment, Morning â„ïž
10:15 a.m.
"Fuck," you muttered into the fabric. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."
But as much as you wanted to die, you also had to be at Donnieâs lab at 2 PM. Coffee, he'd promised. And water. Bless him.
After an ibuprofen and the worldâs longest shower, you started feeling somewhat human again. You stood before your closet, suddenly very aware that you had no idea what to wear to a research meeting with your subjectively attractive, brilliant professor who you may or may not have sent a drunk email to confessing your life crisis to.
You ended up deciding upon a muted dove gray sweater, the material nearing an off-white. A simple pair of dressier pants had followed and your hair was finally fixed into something that wasnât a complete mess.Â
Three hours to go.
The apartment felt very silent without the usual background noise of your roommate's music. Every sound seemed amplified. Sliding butter on your toast felt more nerve-wracking than usual, slipping a jacket on felt comforting, even clicking the door shut felt so, very, loud.Â
You checked your phone for what had to be the thirteenth time that hour. No new messages, of course. The last correspondence was still there: Donatello's email sitting comfortably in your sent folder, followed by his surprisingly warm response.
You stared at his signature, pasted casually at the end of the email: Neural Robotics and Research Specialist.Â
Who were you to even work with someone like that? Youâd shown him your advancements in building these little creations, from circuit boards to functioning bots, even biological replicas, sure. You wereâ somewhatâ up there with him, compared to the rest. But when compared to his mind?Â
What did he even see in you? It almost felt pathetic.Â
At 12:45 PM, you caved and decided to head out early. Well. Better pathetic than late, you reasoned, locking your apartment door behind you.Â
The campus was quite empty for a Saturday afternoon, most students also recovering from Friday night or already deep into weekend plans that most certainly didn't involve research with a turtle. You took the long way around the science building, watching the frost of December skitter across pavement.Â
Oh, how you missed Summer. Spring, Fall, evenâ warm weather. You took it for granted.Â
The laboratory building doors hissed open with a strange, almost snake-like sound.The inside of the heinously white building was (thankfully) much much warmerâ your cheeks had already turned pink! Instead of inhaling the cold, snowy fogâ you now inhaled something you considered much, much worse: antiseptic surfaces, formaldehyde, straight chemicals.
The first two floors were bustling with weekend researchers, their conversations floating down hallways as you passed. But as you climbed to the third floor, the noise faded until only your footsteps echoed against polished linoleum. Everyone else had been off in their own world.
The west wing of the laboratory was eerily quiet.
â302, 302, 302âŠâ The room number spilled from your lips, permanently embedded for the last hour and a half. Whispering nonsense to yourself, eyes darting quickly around the never-ending hallway, you nearly passed itâ!
A simple white plaque next to the door read âNeural Interface Laboratory,â exactly as Donatello had said, along with a giant 302 labeled underneath. Your hand hovered over the handle for a moment.
Oh, Jesus.
You pushed the door open.
The lab⊠his lab, was much larger than you had expected. Upon entry, it was the scent that attacked you the most. Instead of chemicals, you were now graced with that same, gracefully comforting scent of his lecture hallâ warm copy paper and espresso.Â
The copy paper made sense⊠he had stacks of them piled around his room. Glancing at one, you had recognized the layout of some engineering project heâd been working on that appeared to take the shape of a metal-looking robot. Convenient enough.Â
The institutional white was the next thing youâd noticed had changed. Donnie had apparently taken down, or at least tried to cover, anything that came somewhat close to white in his lab. Anything white had been replaced with a dark purple and grey circuit pattern. The neon pulsated along each wall, lighting up the room in different areas each second. It wasnât overdone, there were only a few areas that were decorated like this near the top.Â
Other than this⊠the room was quite cozy, actually! Scattered chairs with blankets laid over them. Little juice boxes scattered everywhere. A little bit of a worn-down linen couch hidden behind his desk, where Donnie, a very focused Donnie, sat.Â
He hadn't heard you come in. His brow was furrowed in concentration, fingers deftly manipulating a delicate-looking tool and his tongue halfway out of his damn mouth. That coerced a little giggle out of you. His lab coat was draped over the back of his chair, leaving him in his typical attire. Would that be nothing? Tactical gear from whatever he did at night?Â
Whatever it was, it did so fucking little to hide lean muscle built from who-knows-what kind of activities. The broken glasses were perched on his nose as usual, and for a moment you just watched him work, the purple-clad turtle completely absorbed in whatever project had captured his attention.
When he finally noticed you standing there, he straightened so abruptly he nearly sent the much larger machine heâd been dissecting toppling off the table.
âOhâshit, sorry! I didnât hear you,â he stammered, pushing his glasses up his nose. His cheeks flushed slightly darker green. "You're quite early."
âI am⊠Iâm sorry. I hope thatâs okay. I was freaking out a little about being lateee," you drew back the ending of the word late as if it was a habit. It wasnât; you were just damn near shitting your pants because of this opportunity.Â
"Late? You're twenty minutes early." He gestured vaguely with his screwdriver. "But don't apologize. I'm glad you're here. Honestly, I wasn't sure if the... well, if last night would change your mind."
Heat flooded your cheeks at the reminder of your drunk email confession. "God, about thatâI am so sorry. I don't usually... that's not how I normallyâ"
â(Y/n), youâre fine. Trust me. Iâve seen plenty worse.âÂ
âOh, thank God, I thought I was going to get kicked off or an email to the dean. Thank you.âÂ
Donnie let out a laugh. "The dean has more important things to worry about than a student having one too many drinks." He pushed his glasses up with one knuckle. "Although if we're being technical, you're still enrolled in my Neural Systems course, so you'd be dealing with me first before anyone else. But I promise I have no plans to expel you." Donnie nodded his head towards a machine, one that had drafted a scent quite refreshing for the afternoon. âCoffee?â Ah. An espresso machine.Â
âYeah, actually. Iâd love that.âÂ
Another nod. Watching as his legs carried him to the source of the scent, you gazed over his form whilst he busied himself with the machine. Look. Away. Look at literally anything else, please, dear God.Â
As Donnieâs hands are put to work, you take the opportunity to look more closely at his workspace.Â
The project he'd been working on was clearly some kind of mechanical arm or prosthetic, as heâd saidâit was a titanium white, almost metallic, practically torn open in the middle of the wrist; wiring visible through transparent casing sections. On nearby tables lay scattered sketches of what you assumed was the finished product, 3D models of each layer of the arm, and some really long ass lines of code pulled up on his computer. You didnât touch; but, holy shit, this was intricate.Â
Youâd built something like this once. Not metal, no, nothing this complicated, but something of an absolutely crude hand diorama made of wire and leftover parts, strings threaded through the fingers to mimic tendons. You remembered pulling them, watching the joints curl. Watching something supposedly inanimate move because you told it to. A puppeteer and its playtoy.
That little free-time project had sat, lifelessly, on your shelf, just begging to be used. Enjoyed. Tugged at. Anything.Â
A sudden presence popped you back into lifeâ Donnieâs ginormous figure had managed to surprise you again, appearing right behind your much tinier stature. His hand came around beside your waist, gently setting down a cup of coffee and a water bottleâ miniscule, compared to his handsâ on his desk in front of you. He mumbled something along the lines of âplease be carefulâ, and that the âcoffee is hotâ.
âThis looks like something out of a science movie, Dr. Hamato.â
âThe coffee?â
âThe arm.â You chuckle.Â
âOh. Thatâs high praise, thank you. I aim to please.â His hand came up to scratch his neck. âAlthough, Iâd say Iâm aiming a little above your comparison. Itâll eventually be a prosthetic appendage that can lift over a few hundred pounds, maybe even more, with advancements. It should move with almost the exact mimicry of a human. Hopefully. EventuallyâŠâ Donnie messed with the odd number of ripped apart fingers.Â
He didnât bat an eye⊠but you counted three fingers, not five.Â
âWhy only three fingers? Have you not added the other two, yet?â A tilt of your head prompts a raise of his eyebrows. He shakes his head; as if reminded of a vital piece of information.Â
The turtle took a deep breath in. âNo, that was, uh, intentional.â He whispers. âOkay. I shouldâve mentioned this earlier⊠If you want to back out now, thereâs absolutely no judgement here. I wouldnât blame you. This is a bit of a rough, uh, topicâŠ. this part of the project, that is.â
You nodded; gently. âOf course. What is it?âÂ
Donnie grabs the prosthetic; easily lifting it into his arms to cradle. Not like a baby, but instead pure admirationâ hope, for what this thing might eventually form itself to be.Â
âThehe arm isnât for a human. Itâs for my older brotherâRaphael. We call him Raph, though. Brute force of a fucking turtle, that idiot is.â His cursing caught you off guard. âHe lost his arm a few weeks ago during a mission. Asshole got in the way of a blade meant for⊠someone else. Someone not very smart.â Donatello admitted, his confession evidently a baked and glazed mixture of guilt and tears. He did not meet your eyes.Â
"It was bad. He was the physical backbone of our family. I mean, we all areâ but that was his thing. Leoâs got his leadership and negotiation tactics, Mikeyâs great at diversions and distractions, Iâm supposed to be smartâ but Raph is strong. Extremely. It was his primary form of defense.â Donnie leans back in his chair, kicking a leg over another.Â
âThis needs to be flawless, better than his original. Iâve been working on this for months. But Iâmâ and, I hate to admit thisâ strugglingâ to figure this out. So I am asking for help. Hence, your presence here.â A breath inâ âhopefully.âÂ
âA mission?â you asked softly, the word coming out as a whisper. âI⊠I didnât know you were in that line of work. Was it a fight? AreâŠare you okay?â
Donnieâs eyes, dark and heavy with exhaustion and guilt, flicked away from you.Â
"It was," he confirmed, his voice becoming flat and deliberately brief. He walked over to the bank of computers, turning his back to you for a moment as he typed something quickly into a console. "Itâs complicated. Our family often deals with situations that require specialized defense, and Raph is the one who usually handles the immediate danger. Thatâs why his injury is such a critical setback for us all." He forced a breath, turning back around, his gaze now focused entirely on the machinery between you. "Unfortunately, thatâs not really the concern at hand. The arm is.âÂ
âOf course, I understand.â He was clearly shutting down that branch of conversation, and you respected the boundary immediately. You set your coffee down and placed your hand gently on the desk near the limb, messing with the fingers.Â
âYouâre very passionate about this.â Tracing the edge of one metallic finger, your own felt impossibly small against his creationâfragile. Looking up at him properly for the first time since his confession, your words spilled; oozed, soft, like honey. âIâd still love to help you with this project. If youâll have me?â
Your professor clicked his tongue with a nod of his head. âTsk. Knew youâd bite.âÂ
âMm. Iâve built smaller versions,â you said, pulling your hand back slightly as heat crept up your neck. âNothing this complex, but I think we can figure it out. With enough time. Of course.â
âWe have time. I can get us time.âÂ
Before you could respond, he reached past you, his arm brushing against your shoulder as he grabbed a schematic from a nearby stack. His fingers came into contact with your sweater, holding your shoulder in place so he could use you as a balance weight while he lifted a foot off of the ground to reach a littleee further than he had intended. It felt almost as good as you had imagined. Yet, not close enough.Â
âThese are the initial designs,â he said, his voice strained slightly as he unfolded the large sheet on the desk between you. âBut theyâre missing something. Iâve been staring at them for weeks and I canât figure out what. And I refuse to bring this to my laboratory colleagues, theyâll just give unnecessary input and ask unnecessary questions.â
As he leaned over to point to a specific detail, you found yourself leaning in too, the scent of him filling your senses againâwarm, like the copy paper youâd noticed⊠and slightly like⊠alpine? Ozonic, the stereotypical kind. Obviously, the scent of oil was very distinct, and could easily hide the odd scents that were present. Could they make this scent into a candle?Â
âHere,â you said, your own finger reaching out to trace along the schematic without thinking. Your cup of coffee is now finished. You set it down, finally able to use your fingers for a demonstration. This was it. This was the moment you had to bring all of your prior knowledge to try and impress him; to affirm that youâre worthy to be here. Which, you are!
"If you wanna try shifting the synaptic routing to bypass this over here, then introduce a secondary feedback loop in the motor interface⊠that might help with your reaction time problem."
Your fingers brushed against his as you pointed out your suggestion. Neither of you pulled away immediately⊠Donnieâs eyes found yours. Contemplating your solution and trying to focus on you all at once.Â
âDo you think that might work? Have you tried that?â You murmured. Did he think you were dumb? Please donât think Iâm dumb.Â
âYou...â he started, then cleared his throat. âYouâre right. That could work.â
Donnie allowed himself a light smile. He twisted the paper back into its cylindrical shapeâ tightened in its rubber bandâ and threw it behind his computer.Â
âI think,â he said, his voice lower now, intimate, regarding the situation, âyou and I are going to make a remarkable team.â
âI think we will, Professor.â
âDonnie. Please, call me Donnie. Weâll be working together for a very long time.âÂ
âDonnie,â you repeated, softly.
âBetter,â he hummed, almost to himself. âMore coffee?â
â°â„ïž âź
The crush had only gotten worse with time.Â
Itâs been about a month or two of working with him, now. And, by God, have you two gotten close.
Working in the lab with him became procedural. Every dayâ around seven at night, rather than two, youâd visit Donnie in the lab⊠assisting him with whatever godforsaken problem has chosen to present itself today. Heâd explained how this wasnât really research, anymore. More of a project he had somewhat of a deadline for.Â
But outside of the lab was starting to become much, much different. Of course. Of course it was, you were still a student in his class. That reminder formed a deeeeeep hole in your stomach.Â
Monday morning's lecture felt like walking into an entirely different universe-- from cozy and (what you both called 'intimate') to a much lesser, mind-numbing class.
Not that you didn't like it-- you loved this class with everything in you! You just-- you know, preferred the one-on-ones. With Donnie. Alone.
It seemed he preferred those, too.
He'd sarcastically eyeroll at you when a student he notably disliked had entered the room. More often than not, heâd be standing by your lecture hall table, hands behind him grasping the table as he would tilt his head backwards to speak with you, hoping to catch your eye. Your chats were often about the project; but lately, theyâve been growing from the usual âhow have you beenâ and âwhat are you up to.â
He started asking about weekends. Weekdays, your schedule, if anythingâs been particularly bothering you lately. He was starting to ask you more and more about how your sleep was, considering the whole situation with your neighbors⊠and, god forbid. He even brought up the sext you got one night, asking if that man had bothered making an appearance again. You couldnât bear to tell him he had.Â
Not that you were even interested, though. Your eyes were set somewhere else.Â
âDid you end up doing anything interesting after research on Friday?â he asked one morning. Same tilted head position where heâs glancing down at you and everything. You gazed up from your notesâ pretending you didnât see him come over and literally position himself next to you.Â
âOf course not,â he said easily, teasing, almostâ but there was a faint curve to his mouth. âI like to know how my students spend their time.â
âYour students, huh?â
He was quiet for a second, tilting his head, debating an answer.Â
ââŠyou,â he corrected, quieter. âJust making sure youâre getting enough sleep. The prosthetic is coming along quite well, but youâve been a little out of it lately. Just checking in on you, can I not?â You clicked your tongueâ rolling your eyes in a sarcastic manner. Of course he pulled that card on you.Â
He turned his attention toward the lecture hall, which was gradually filling with studentsâabout a dozen in total, an amount he likely overestimated, though the headcount was steadily rising as finals drew near. Donnie eyed them slowly pooling in.Â
âWell, Iâm fine, Professor. Really,â you insisted, though the slight tremor in your hands suggested otherwise. He didnât look convinced, his something-of-a-brow furrowing as he came behind your seat, the scent of espresso becoming increasingly heavier. Coffee sounded great right now. Â
âDonnie. Please,â He corrected his name again softly. There was really nobody else in your vicinity that could hear. âSeriously. If youâre getting exhausted from all of the hoursâŠyou donât have to keep brushing it off with me,â he said, quieter now, more gentle and concerned with his words. âIf somethingâs off, you can just say that. I promise Iâm not going toââ
His lecture was cut short by the sharp, synthetic ding of your phone. Oh, hell. Not now, please, not now!
The damn thing sat face-up on the desk. Before you could slap a hand over it or swipe the stupid thing away, the banner notification of some random guy had flashed in bold white letters:Â
Dating App âą New Message from KyleÂ
âHey beautiful, u wanna get back to me abt that anatomy lesson? Iâm free tonight if you want toââ
The rest of the message was mercifully cut off. But the damage was doneâ your conversation with Donnie was over, for the time being. At least now, it was. Silence lingered.Â
You watched Donnieâs eyes track the text. His pupils dilated behind his glasses before he jerked his gaze back to yours. The manâs posture suddenly became oddly clinical. Formal⊠as it had been, three months ago. He stood up much taller than he had before, when he was slouched down behind you, comfortably.Â
âOhh,â he said, his voice dropping an octave, sounding suddenly much more like âDr. Hamatoâ than the version of âDonnieâ that you knew. âI see. I suppose that explains the⊠distraction.â He straightened up, his shell hitting the back of his chair with a hollow thud and a slight growl at the pain.Â
âIâll leave you to your⊠lessons, then. I have a lecture to start.â
You couldnât even fabricate fake laughter at this point.
WhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhattheACTUALfuck.Â
What came out of you was nothing more than a damn-near silent awkward chuckle and nod⊠you slipping back into your seat as he strided awayâ refusing to look back.Â
That day, he didnât call on you to answer questions like he normally did. He didnât lock eyes with you when someone brought up a stupid question. And when the class finally ended, he didn't even bother to say goodbye as you walked out the door.
Sucks ass that you have to see him that night for research, doesnât it?Â
Time began to move very, very slow.Â
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Prosthetics Lab â„ïž
7:00 p.m.
The lab door slid open with a louder hiss than what you were used to, tonight.Â
Most times, that sound was a sound of comfort. It would usually mean being able to work on a project youâd loved, solving problems through trial and error, contributing to something thatâ well, meant somethingâ all while working with someone that was starting to mean something to you. Someone who youâd literally been eyeing since the beginning of the year.Â
Now it was just cold. The fog from the hiss sent a shiver down your spine.Â
You didnât like what you saw when you entered the lab. Donnie sat in his chair, leaned back with his legs crossed and one foot rested upon his desk, jaw tighter than a knot as he screwed a plate back onto the arms base. Lingering in the doorway for hours felt so right, right right now.Â
He didnât look up. Not like he usually did, when that sound went off.Â
You took hesitant steps toward his worktable, the squeak of your sneakers against the linoleum sounding unnaturally loud in the quiet lab. "I, uh..." You cleared your throat. "I looked over the code for the arms memory last night. I didnât have access to change any of it, but I can work on that today."
Donnie finally raised his head, and the impact of his gaze straight-up hit you like a hammer.Â
His expression was absurdly neutral, unlike the excessive amount of warmth you'd grown accustomed to. His eyes were darker, almost sleepier, than normal. What was it? Disappointment? Annoyance? You couldn't parse it.
He gestured vaguely toward an empty chair. "Right. Good. You wanna go work on the code for a bit? Iâm a bit busy with this." His voice, usually rich with enthusiasm or laced with dry humor, was flat. Monotone.Â
You set your bag beside a spinny chair with a soft thud. For several minutes, the only exchange was technical. And impersonal. It was awful, almost to a level of uncomfortable. Jeez, only once, you pointed out a potential improvement to the pattern of the white base plates he was screwdriving in; he nodded curtly and made notes without comment. You suggested a different power source that might reduce weight; he replied with a simple "Already considered it."
Each clipped response was another punch to the gut after an even worse punch to the gut. So much for learning about each other, God. No more joking about stupid shit his brothers have done. No more joking about the men that speak like this to you all the time. Speaking of which, why is he so pissed now? Heâs known about their tendency to send explicitly obnoxious messages to your inbox at the most random time of day.Â
Youâre unable to bear any more of this suffocated civility.Â
Leaning forward, your elbows found their place on your knees. "Donnie," you said softly, testing the waters with his name. "Do you⊠are we going to talk about what happened today? I feel like⊠youâve known for a while about this guys tendency to text me like that, heâ"
"Today?" he asked, though you knew damn well he knew exactly what you meant. "In what regard?"
You took a breath. "In the lecture hall. When..." You gestured vaguely at your phone, now safely tucked away in your bag.
His tridactyl fingers began tapping again, this time against the surface of his worktable.Â
"I don't believe there's anything to discuss," he said, though his gaze had dropped to the prosthetic, avoiding yours. "You're entitled to a personal life. Your extracurricular activities are none of my concern."
Extracurricular? Is that how he saw this?
"It's not like that," you insisted, leaning forward. "Kyle isâI'm not seeing him. We've never even met. Heâs no better than that one guy at the bar I told you about. Theyâre all looking for one thing and one thing only.â You explained, turning in your swivel chair completely towards him.Â
âIt's just a dating app, one of those things where you swipe and sometimes you get messages like that. I delete most of them. Fuck, I donât even have it for my own personal gain. One of my friends had me download it because she was sorry for my dating life." You snortedâ though, the reasoning was true.
No other guy would get this in-depth explanation. Just the one that matters. That has mattered, the one thatâs paid and given you attention since before you could pray for the slightest opportunity to even come into his well-guarded vicinity.
Donnie froze at your reasoning. His tool hovered millimeters from the prosthetic's wrist joint. After a long moment, he slowly set it down and turned to face you fully, finally meeting your eyes without that clinical detachment from earlier.
Donnie finally looked at you, his expression unreadable. "Oh. Pardon my asking, if thatâs the case, then why did he message you about... 'anatomy lessons'? I can only go so far to imagine what that means."Â
His voice was flat, but the way his fingers curled into a slight fist betrayed something beneath the surface. He didnât want to imagine you like that. At least, not with another guy. Another other guy he didnât even know.
Your cheeks flushed with heat. "God, don't remind me. Heâs not even that smart. He knows me from anatomy and phys from, like, two years ago. I helped him study for one test. Now heâs just trying to get a rise out of me. With, uh, terrible, terrible pickup lines."
Heâs not even that smart, youâd said. Did you like smart people? Donnie kept that thought to himself.
"So you're not..." he started, then paused, clearing his throat. "You're not seeing anyone?"
You shook your head. "No. I'm not seeing anyone."
He straightened, eyes widening, adjusting his glasses even though they hadnât moved. He told himself it didnât matter. It shouldnât matter. This wasnât his business. You were his student. His research assistant, technically. Anything beyond that was irrelevant. He knows better!
âIâm sorry. Itâs not any of my business. I shouldâve stayed out of it,â He mumbled. âMy eyes like to wander. The text was just⊠rightinfrontofmyface. Forget I ever said any of this. Please?âÂ
You smiled, ready to tease him once again. Thank God you discussed that whole situation.Â
But there was one thing you were still left to wonder.Â
You spun slowly in your swivel chair, leaning forward, resting your chin upon your hand as you watched him. Your voice became mumbled by your palm slightly covering your mouth.
âWould it have mattered if the text had been genuine?â
ââŠIt shouldnât matter,â he said quietly, though it didnât sound convincing even to him. A brief pause, his fingers stilling against the table before he exhaled. âBut it would. Not because itâs my placeâit isnâtâbut because you shouldnât be giving your time to someone who clearly doesnât know what to do with it. Like⊠What's his face? Kyle.â
âWhat do you mean, I shouldnât be?â
âI donât like the idea of you doing it. It never ends up well. For someone as smart as you, I feel like youâd know that by now.âÂ
Fuck, how Donnie wanted to just load up your schedule so you didnât have time for idiots to give you their quote-on-quote- âanatomy lessonsâ-- he wanted to fill up your schedule with nothing but the research project so you didnât have time to talk to anyone else. Nobody but him.Â
That shit stays in HIS head, though. God, if he ever let those feelings through, heâdâÂ
âYou throw yourself into thingsâthis, the project, everythingâand I know what happens when youâre stretched too thin.â A slight tilt of his head, voice lowering just a fraction. âIâd rather not watch you burn yourself out over someone who thinks a message like that is impressive.â
He adjusted his glasses, like he needed something to ground himself. âAnd, selfishly,â he added, almost under his breath, âI like having your focus here. Youâre good at this. Youâre good with me.â A beat. âIâm not particularly interested in competing with someone who hasnât earned it.âÂ
âCompeting with?â you smirked, a hint of a smile slipping in, light and teasing whereas his had gone tight.
Donnie stilled for half a secondâjust long enough to give himself awayâbefore he scoffed quietly under his breath.
âDonât start that,â he muttered, though there was no real bite to it.
âDonât start what?â you pressed, softer now, leaning just slightly into it.
He shot you a warning look. You just stared right back into his eyes.Â
After a moment, he broke eye contact, looking back down at the arm between you. "Don't play coy. It doesn't suit you."
âYou brought it up.â Donnie could feel the rhythmic beating of his heart against his plastron. Setting his screwdriver down again with a light thunk, indicating slight frustrationâno, embarrassment? Giving in, almost? He spun his chair to face your direction.
âOkay, fair. I acted like a child today. In my lecture hall. It was unprofessional, and Iâll be dead honest, yeah, it was far beneath the standard I set for myself. I saw a notification on a studentâs phone and I let my personal⊠what would I call it, biasesâ cloud my judgment.â
Donnie leaned in a few feet, simply by resting his chin on his hands, elbows sat on his knees.
âPlease donât mistake my apology for indifference, (y/n). Iâm a man of logic. Logically, someone like you shouldnât be wasting your time on someone who couldnât come up with a better pick up line. Fuck, I could do better than that. He probably went and looked it up online, or something. Unoriginal." The turtle groaned.Â
âMost of those men are unoriginal. Easiest dismissals Iâve ever made in my life,â you chuckled.Â
âYeah. Speaking of which,â Donnie leaned back in his chair, the piece of furniture emitting a groaning sound. âEvery week itâs something new with you, isnât it? Another crude message, another man who thinks a cheap pickup line entitles him to your time, your attention, yourââ He gestured vaguely, unable or unwilling to finish that thought. âI donât understand. Why donât you just⊠delete the app? You block them. You joke about it like itâs just a regular part of your week. This constant objectifying bullshit is not normal. I think you know that. I also think that you know that you deserve better than that.â
A sigh escaped from your lipsâ he was correct. Of course you did. Drinking at the bar to get away from everything should have been your last fucking straw, it shouldâve been the moment you pressed hold for three long seconds on the app and clicked âinstall.â
âYouâre right. About the apps. I shouldâve deleted them a hot minute ago,â you mumble, taking your phone out of your pocket. Absent-mindedly, and not even reading them, you swipe away all of the messages.Â
He paused in his mindlessly observant examination of the prosthetic, turning his head slightly but not fully toward you. âThen why havenât you?â
âMy friend made me download the app. I think I told you that bit, though. Sheâs been pestering me about how I never go out anymore, how I need to âget back out there?â She comes over sometimes at night⊠I deleted it once. Never heard the end of it from her. Sheâs in love with hearing how my apparent âdating lifeâ is turning out... she gets fake stories. Every time.â You chuckle.Â
Donnie turned then, his expression unreadable. âYou spend your nights here. With me. Working on something that actually matters. She shouldnât get to dictate who and when you decide to date.â
You snorted, nodding.Â
âOh, sorry. Forgive me if I donât see the need for you to waste your weekends with men who canât string together a coherent thought, much less respect you properly.â He mumbled.Â
âOh? And what exactly constitutes ârespecting me properly,â in your professional opinion, Doctor?â You teased, a light giggle at the nickname youâve probably never called him.Â
His lips quirked into something between a smile and a frown. âRecognizing your intelligence for one. Not just your appearance.â His eyes dropped to your lips briefly before meeting your gaze again.
âYou seem to have very strong opinions on what constitutes appropriate treatment of me,â you teased softly, your voice lower than you intended. You pulled your phone from your bag, the screen illuminating your face with a cold glow. "But you're right. It is bullshit. And I'm tired of looking at it."
With a few decisive taps, you navigated to the settings. The 'Delete Account' button felt remarkably heavy, yet as you pressed it, a wave of genuine relief washed over you. "There," you said, holding the screen up so he could see the app icon vanish into the ether. "Satisfied, Professor?"
His gaze fixed on the now-empty space where the app had been, then slowly lifted to yours.Â
"Donnie," he corrected for probably the fifth time now, voice low, though his focus lingered on your face a moment too long. "Very." He cleared his throat, shifting his attention back to the prosthetic on the desk between you.
âYou in the mood to learn something new?â
Quick change of pace.
âDepends. What do I not know how to do?â
âI've been focusing on the more meticulous parts of the arm lately.â Donnie said, gesturing to the prosthetic on the worktable between you. âThere's an issue with the response time, specifically in the limbâs grip mechanisms. Sometimes there's a noticeable delay that could be problematic in real time. Raph fightsâ an extensive amount, for what I would deem normal.â He groans. âAnyways, it needs to be strong enough for someone of his nature.â
The grip mechanisms and reaction time, more specifically, was the area Donnie had been working on for an absolutely egregious amount of timeâ any time you saw him frustrated, he was fiddling with fingers of the limb and itâs code and itâs servosâ itâs no shock he needed a second set of eyes. Or, hands, on his section of the experiment. Â
Closer came the wheels of his chair making a soft whir against the floor so he could get a better view of the bionic limb. That scent started to wash over you again. Espresso. Copy Paper. Alpine. Donnieâs three fingered hand reached around you; flattening the armâs fingers to rest on his workbench.Â
"Thereâs far too many sources of the problem to trial and error alone. I want you to start looking at it, too. Your hands are smaller than mine. You may be able to feel the problem and identify it better than my own capabilities. Think you can handle that for me?"
Your heart quickened at his praise. "I... okay. I can try."
"Excellent," Donnie nodded, turning slightly so his shell didn't block your view of the arm. "Come here, Iâll teach you." He patted the edge of a chair in front of him; its height already adjusted. Conveniently lower than his own chair was set at, for the record.Â
You hesitated only a moment before sliding onto the small space he'd made, the warmth of your back ever so slightly brushing up against his plastron; which seems, intentionally, pushed towards you. The warmth of your body under your own lab coat made it increasingly hard to focus. Fuuuck.Â
"Alright," Donnie said, his voice lowering as he positioned your hand over the prosthetic. Large and coarsened, his fingers guided yours to the forearm section of the limb where the main sensors were housed. "Feel for this panel here? It⊠well, if I can get itâ slides open. There." In Donnieâs other hand was his purple screwdriver, which he used to rid the arm of the panelâ his arms enveloping you again.Â
He nodded you along to remove the cover with your own hands. At this point, he was pretty much bracing his own weight on the table, hands remaining planted by your sides. Heâd point here and there, for youâ what to do, and all, once youâd uncovered the wiring and circuitry.Â
âNow,â he murmured. âWhat do you think is the main issue with the response time, here?â
For a moment, you were silent. âWell, Iâd figure it has something to do with the input. You should always start there. Iâd check and see if anything is wrong with the circuitry.â
âGood. And whereâs that?âÂ
âHere,â you pointed, where he had just guided you to open up.Â
âMhm.â The turtle nodded. âDo you know why I placed the housing for the wires in that location?â Without an explanation, he gently picked up your wrist.Â
âWhen the user initiates a grip, Raph, in this caseâŠâ he went on, quieter now, his words brushing closer as he leaned in, âthe signal starts here.â His thumb shifted against your wrist, his own finger trailing across the midsection of your arm for a second before guiding your hand forward. âIt runs through this junction⊠then distributes across the phalanges. Your fingers.â
Long story short, itâs really fucking hard to get any words out, right now.Â
âBut thatâs my problem. Iâve checked every issue that could be in the forearm. But nothing wants to present itself, like it should be doing.âÂ
 âAnd your solution is?â
"That's what you get to find out."
You sighed. Of fucking course.Â
âIâll do my best.â
âHey," he murmured. "Youâll get it. Have faith in your intelligence, I trust you.â Donnie placed a hand on your shoulder; kneading it for a second before he took a few paces back. âI need to head out for a second. Just⊠try your best for the time being? Please? Iâll be back soon.â
And with that, he was gone.Â
â°â„ïž âź
This. Damn. Arm.Â
Was there anything better they could have been testing? Anything that could have been more aligned to your field of scientific research, your understanding of the biological and genetic makeup of a human that could better your performance with this thing? Thereâs too much wire. Too many connections to be made. Far too much unforgiving complexity that your mind does not appreciate.Â
And still, you found yourself completely absorbed by its persevering incapabilities. Persevering incapabilities you need to fix. That your mind says you need to fix, or else you wonât let yourself sleep at night.Â
âYou look exhausted.â Donnieâs voice appeared behind you. Seems heâs returned from wherever he ran off to. With a slight crinkle sound behind you, you tilted your head up slightly to acknowledge whatever it was he was doing.Â
Somewhere in between soldering wires and typing up endless lines of code, heâd managed to silently grab a drink from the mini fridge next to your lab desks. You hadnât even noticed. He was fairly good at staying quiet. When he wanted to be.Â
There was another slight thud of something being placed down next to your deconstructed project; it was much more colorful, but the backside of it was the same metallic grey that has consumed your life for the past month-and-a-half. With a quick switch of your gaze, you register that it was a juice box of some sortâ the pouch kind with the insertable straws.
âIs that where you went off to?â
âWhatâs that?â
âTo get a drink?â
"It's fruit punch flavored,â Donnie murmurs. He pushes it towards you, like heâs trying his best to encourage you to just drink something, for the love of God. You manage a slight chuckle.Â
âYeah, I noticed that. You leave them around the lab sometimes.â You tilt your head toward the cluttered area by his desk, where the majority of the empty pouches are homed.
Your professor raises a behemoth of an arm up to scratch the back of his neck. âYeah. I, uh, donât always recognize when Iâm making a mess of things. Iâll pick them up. Eventually.â Heâd forget it, you knew. Â
You picked up the juice box, pulling the straw from its cellophane wrapper with a slight crinkle that sounded loud in the otherwise quiet lab. Health-wise, sugar wasnât that much better compared to your usual caffeine intake from coffeeâ but it was a nice palate change. It made you happy that he had noticed something of your incessant spiraling.Â
"Thank you, Donnie" you mumbled around the straw, your eyes already dropping back to the disarticulated mechanical arm lying across your bench. The dreaded question continued to linger in your headâ gnawing, like an incorporeal mouseâ how the hell were you supposed to improve this thing? Fix the reaction time when thereâs so many sources of the problem? Given your outstanding background, it felt almost ridiculous to not criticize yourself.Â
Your job, the role Donnie had been so oddly insistent upon assigning to you specifically, was to fine-tune the programming's biological realism. You were tasked with ensuring the responsiveness of the prosthetic limb. It must be as natural and organic as it could possibly be, but to do so, you had to alter something that was literally, physically, and mechanically the exact opposite.Â
Failure wasnât really something you were willing to entertain. There had to be a way. God forbid, you wouldnât sleep until there was.Â
"Hey, can you come here for a second?â Donnie peeped up, looking up and over from his desk area, where he had, somehow, practically teleported back off to. Only the top of his glasses and the faint glint of his eyes were visible at first. Just dark dots in a dark room. He tilted his head higherâthen higher stillâtrying to see you over the mess. Heâs tilting his head now. Itâs still not working.Â
âI have a question, if you donât mind⊠um, itâs about the wiring for the nerves around the radius of the forearm here," you continued, pointing with the hand holding the juice box to a microscopic cluster of a red and blue mess.Â
"Okay. Iâve tried a few different code sequences, I wondered for a bit if that might be the problem. But the gripâs still way too sensitive. Do youuu⊠think the converter we borrowed might beâ"
You looked up, expecting Donnie to be halfway across the room, tossing empty pouches of juice boxes into the trashcan or working on something personal. You found him doing the exact opposite. Matter of fact, turning wasnât even an option; your chair was stuck in place. Donnie was not looking at the arm, nor was he across the room, as you had falsely suspected. Your chair continued to squeal in protest. Donnie wasn't looking at the arm at all.
He was looking down at you, his large, dark eyes narrowed slightly, a thoughtful, almost distant look on his face. He wasn't fidgetingâa rare state for himâjust absolutely still, watching youâ his hands placed on the back of your chair, stabilizing himself. His weight that was placed on the chair was enough to hold it in place, to hold you in place, deeming you stuck.
His hands were big enough, placed where they were, that he was unknowingly close to the back of your neck. He slid one hand from the chair back, moving it carefully, as if hyperfixated on something else, until his thumb brushed the delicate skin just below your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine.Â
Don't. Move. You thought.Â
Sly bastard can probably hear you shaking with those goddamn enhanced abilities of his.
"It could be an issue with the converter, yes, but before we dive into the code for the arm, can weâ" he paused, rubbing his thumb along the side of the chair, but not gripping it; he was trying to articulate a thought that wasn't strictly⊠technical. Professional?
"Can we talk about something else? For a minute?" he finished, the question soft, almost a request for permission.
You immediately set the juice box down. "Yes. Of course. Is everything alright?"
"Yes. No. I mean, yes, everything is fine, I think," he assured you quickly, and you saw the slightest hint of pink in his cheeks. In his head, gears are grinding, lights are flickering, doors are opening; but it seems Donnie isnât entirely sure if he wants those doors barricaded and locked away. Like heâs debated even conversing with you about this fact; even though he knew damn well this was an issue he should have addressed the second he invited you into his lab.
Donnie steps awayâ not far away, but near your side now, directly adjacent to the short ends of the desk. Well⊠at least you didnât have to worry about your neck giving you away, for now.Â
But you werenât getting away that easy. By fault of your own, of course.Â
You turn in your chair before you can think better of it. It was merely a force of habit, speaking directly to people as a sign of respectâ itâs a mistake, is what it was.
Now heâs facing you. Fuck, now he could actually see how youâre interpreting this whole interaction.Â
Your gaze doesnât quite meet hisâat this height, your eyes land somewhere around his kneesâbut youâre close. But, sitting down, youâre close enough that your knees bump into his. Close enough that you can see the way his jaw tightened, and simply for a second, the way his eyes flick downâright before snapping back up to yours.Â
âOh, geez, sorry! Didnât mean to⊠shit, sorry, Iâll move.â You tilt your head back, finally catching his gaze. The action of looking up has gotten oddly familiar; standing next to him was seriously something that took far too long to get used to. His eyes are wide; almost startled. Like a deer caught in headlights. You wondered if it was a bit of a culture shock for him. Seeing humans up close, small, fragile, instead of from a distance, isolated in the sewers with his brothers.Â
Another thing youâve learned about your professor; that man had made a severe (although impressive) habit of cursing. Not that you minded. It was entertaining, actually. The amount of  âshitsâ and âmotherfuckersâ youâve walked in on since this project started? Egregious.
Due to his isolation, Donnie often misinterpreted regular social situations. He was incredibly book-smart. Obviously. His mind operated on wavelengths most could barely comprehend. His street-smarts were⊠something else, though. To him? Foreign. He'd mentioned once, offhandedly, that his orange brother possessed this capability; something he was eternally jealous of.
"Iâm sorry. Do you, do you mindâŠ" you note, your voice softer than you intended. He was slightly blocking you in now, likely unaware of his size.Â
He flinches at the word, though you're not sure why. "Right. Sorry." But he doesn't move. Instead, he kneels down, bringing himself to your eye level. The motion is fluid, practicedâlike he's spent years learning how to fold his larger frame into spaces not built for him.
"Better?" he asks, and there's something about his proximity that makes your pulse quicken. You can smell the faint scent of ozone and soldering flux clinging to him, mixed with something sweeterâlike fruit punch.
"Mm-hmm," you manage, trying to ignore how his breath ghosts across your cheek when he speaks.
"I've been wondering something," he murmurs, one hand coming to rest on the arm of your chair, fingers just brushing against the sleeve of your lab coat. The contact is minimalâinsignificant, reallyâbut it sends a jolt through you like static electricity.
"About...?" you prompt, heart beating against your ribs.
âAm I making you nervous?âÂ
âNo. No, why would I be nervous?â The soles of your shoes started digging into the ground, trying to dig themselves further into the hole they were already stuck in.Â
âYou know I can hear your heartbeat, right?â He murmured, his thumb brushing against the fabric of your lab coat, tracing small circles against your arm. âAnd feel when you get a little embarrassed. When your face flushes and you heat up a few degrees.âÂ
Upon introduction, that idea sounded a little off. He could⊠actually⊠oh, god.
Donnieâs other hand came up to gently cup your chin, tilting your face toward his.
"Itâs just thermoreception," he explained softly, his scientific mind kicking in despite his current goal. "I have mutated genes. Obviously. Part of what helps me do what I do is my enhanced ability to detect changes in temperature. Your skin is currently several degrees warmer than baselineâclassic physiological response to...." He paused, catching himself before he rambled further. âI wonât continue. Iâm sure youâre already aware of that phenomenon?â The turtle questioned. Â
"Donnie, please..." you whispered.Â
"Please what?" he asked, his voice soft but still a little tilt to it. Teasing; but somehow, somehow, still of praise. It was a pathetic plea, reallyâwhat exactly were you asking him to do? Stop?
"IâJesus. I can't..." The words caught in your throat, thick and useless. What were you even trying to say? That his proximity was unraveling you piece by piece? That every nerve ending in your body was firing at once, sending crackling signals straight to your core? He was painstakingly close now, so close you could count the shades of brown in his eyes, see the slight tremor in his hand where it cupped your chin. His thumb stroked your skin, a slow, deliberate motion that made your breath hitch.
"That's not an answer," he murmured, his voice dropping lower, deeper than before. It vibrated through you, settling somewhere in the pit of your stomach. "I asked if I'm making you nervous."
You shook your head, or tried toâhis gentle grip held you steady. "No. It's just... you're..."
"I'm what?" His other hand moved from the arm of your chair to your shoulder, fingers splaying wide across the fabric of your lab coat.
âClose.â You peeped. âVery close.âÂ
Donnie's lips curved into something that wasn't quite a smile, something darker and more knowing. "Close?" he repeated, the word a low rumble that vibrated through his hand still resting on your chin. "Yeah, I think that's... that's certainly a word I'd use to describe it.â
What could you possibly say to that?Â
The copy paper and espresso scent you'd learned to identify with Donnie had disappeared. Now that he's closer-- so, so much closer-- that man has flourished in another strange smell... strawberry? Pastries, it reminded you of. You thought back to the time he told you the flavor of the icing on Pop Tarts was particularly appealing to him.
Disregarding that... fuck, your breath hitched. Every part of your brain was screaming at you to pull back, to remember this was your professor, your colleague, a fucking mutant turtle for crying out loud! But your bodyâyour traitorous, heat-flushed bodyâremained rooted to the spot, leaning in ever so slightly.
His gaze dropped to your lips again. Lingered there for a fraction of a second too long before meeting your eyes once more.
"Your workspace is a disaster," you blurted out, and immediately wanted to die. Of all the things to say?!
To your surprise, Donnie laughed, a genuine, rumbling sound that made your chest ache with something warm and unfamiliar. ""You're trying to change the subject." he corrected, but there was amusement in his eyes. "Are you genuinely trying to divert my attention, (y/n), or are you just nervous?" His hands came up to squeeze your waist.Â
"If you ask me to stop, I'll stop. No questions asked. I just want you to be honest with me because what I'mâ what we're doing hereâ isn't exactly..." The turtle took a breath. "Ethical."
Fuck it. You wanted it. So bad.Â
All those nights you spent thinking about him? Thoughts that could all go to waste in a moment? No. Not the time to risk that fantasy, no.Â
All it took for that domino to fall was a shake of your headâ
And then he kissed you.
It wasn't aggressive or demanding. His lips were softer than you'd imagined.
He took his time, exploring, giving you every opportunity to pull away. But you didn't. You couldn't. Instead, your hands found their way to his arms, gripping the textured skin of his biceps as you leaned into the kiss, answering his question with your actions.
When he finally pulled back, it was only slightly, his forehead resting against yours.Â
"Still nervous?" he asked, his voice now husky with emotion.
"Mm-hmm," you managed, the sound somewhere between a whimper and a hum of satisfaction. "It's a good nervous now, I think?â
His hand moved from your shoulder to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair. "Good," he murmured, before capturing your lips again, this time with more certainty. More need. His other hand slid down from your chin, tracing the column of your throat, his fingers resting against the pulse point there. He could feel your heartbeat, you realized. He could literally feel how he affected you.
"We should... the arm..." you managed between kisses, though your conviction was weak at best.
Donnie chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that vibrated through your entire body. "The arm can wait," he murmured, his lips now tracing patterns along your collarbone. "I'm focused on you now, love."
Your breathing only became heavier. Pants and heaves escaping as he moved his lips further down your neck.
"Are you going to stop?" Somehow, the words managed themselves out. You prayed to god the answer was no. Please, sweet hell, please. Say no.
âWould you like me to stop?â Kisses began to pepper their way down your collarbone. Donnie stopped once he was just beneath your height when sitting down; now, finally, on his knees. âSay the word, I will. Iâll forget this ever happened.âÂ
The word fell from your lips before you could stop it. A pleading, desperate as fuck whisper.Â
No.Â
âThought that might be your answer.â His hands moved from your waist, one slipping behind your back to support you while the other swept beneath your knees. In one motionâ predictable for someone of his physiqueâhe lifted you, chair and all protesting forgotten. With a gasp, your hands were found flying to his shoulders for balance as he cradled you against his chest.
Gentle, thatâs what he was. Out of his lips spilled an abundance of Iâve got youâs and itâs okayâs.
The couch in the back of the labâa seldom-used piece of furniture where he occasionally caught hours of sleep between experimentsâfelt impossibly soft as he lowered you onto it. He didn't immediately follow, instead kneeling in front of you, his expression soft. Searching for anything he may be doing wrong, anything he could fix.
"Doing okay? Still with me?" he asked, his thumb stroking your cheek, hands coming down to lightly scratch up and down your arms.
You could only nod, words failing you as you watched him, this brilliant, awkward turtle who held entire fucking galaxies of knowledge in his mind⊠but now looked at you with such tender uncertainty. So funny how all of that can happen in a semester or two.Â
His fingers traced patterns on your arm again as he leaned in, capturing your lips again in a kiss that was somehow both deeper and more gentle than before. There was no urgency in his touch. Heâd take it slow. So slow, for you.Â
" I have been trying very hard not to cross a line with you," he breathed, the words so soft you almost missed them. "Every day, youâve made that increasingly harder."
A quiet, breathy chuckle came from your tilted head as you gazed down at him. âSorry.â
His eyes darted up through his taped glasses again. âMm. No, donât say that. All Iâm saying is that Iâm beginning to suspect that you enjoy torturing me.â You felt his lips curve into a smile smirk as he kissed against your stomach.Â
Speaking of which⊠his hands moved to the hem of your pants, quite flowy and loose, todayâ fingers hesitating just beneath the fabric. Donnie made a little noise, sort of a huff, to try and get your anxious and darting attention yet again.Â
His gaze drifted over you, appreciative but not predatory. "May I?" he asked, fingers hovering at the waistband of your pants.
You managed a small "yes" despite the lump in your throat.
At your nod, he slowly lifted his finger up and under the fabric, sliding them down your hips. Tortuous, it was. Heâd pause any time you even uttered a soft sound.Â
"Shit. Iâm sorry! Too much?" he asked immediately, stilling.
You shook your head, pressing your palm against his mask. "No! No. Iâm just enjoying watching you." Oh, your face was redddddd.
He huffed again; more positively connotated, this time. Almost like a sigh of relief. Kind of cute.Â
Donnie got back to work. As he nodded understandingly, the turtle began finishing his task with the same degree of gentleness until you sat before him in your underwear; top half still covered.Â
But he made no move to remove his own gear or shell. Instead, he stretched out his own form a little bit, propping himself up on an elbow to simply look at you.
"You're... perfect," he whispered, his eyes tracing every line and curve of your body. "Can I just...?"
You didn't need to ask what he meant. He was asking permission to explore, to touch and discover. Thatâs what he did, that was his thing. Who were you to deny him this indulgence?Â
You nodded. Ah, there was that permission. Permission that you gave with a soft "please."
His hands were everywhere and nowhere at onceâtracing your collarbones, skimming down your arms, mapping the terrain of your hips with such care and attention it brought tears to your eyes.Â
When he kissed you again, he made it clear how long heâs been holding back.Â
"Are you going to take your..." you started to ask, gesturing vaguely toward his gear.
âHm? Oh.â Donnie glanced down at his tactical gear that lay straining his skin under his lab coat. Elbow gear. Forearm guards. A shell mounted gear rig. Even the thigh holsters, Jesus! You had to look away.
He followed your gaze, a faint blush rising on his green skin. "Iâm going to be completely honest. I am... a little bit⊠different from what you would consider normal. All parts of me. Obviously. Iâm not going to lie and say Iâm the most confident about my own anatomical differences..." His fingers traced patterns along your hip, avoiding the subject but addressing it all the same. âButâ nevermind that. Youâre my priority right now. I'd rather focus entirely on you. Maybe sometime in the future, we can look into that, if that's alright with you, sweetheart?"
Your heart swelled at his vulnerability, at the way this brilliant turtle who could navigate complex neural networks suddenly fumbled with matters of the heart. "Yes," you whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek. "That's more than alright."
Donnie's eyes softened, relief washing over his features. He leaned down to kiss you again, slow and tender, his lips moving against yours with deliberate care. "Thank you," he murmured against your mouth before trailing kisses down your neck.
His hands began a methodical exploration of your body, learning every curve and dip with scientific precision but tender reverence. When his fingers dipped between your thighs, you arched into his touch with a soft gasp.
"Sensitive here?" he asked, his voice a low rumble as he watched your reactions closely.
You could only nod, words failing you as he circled that sensitive bundle of nerves with his thumb, sending waves of pleasure through your body.
âI will admit, I am exceedingly curious to know more about the human body,â he murmurs, still⊠experimenting. "Tell me what you like? Show me, maybe?" He pauses more kisses at your stomach again, feeling your breathing go up and down beneath his lips. "I'm a fast learner. Promise Iâll do my best.âÂ
A blush crept up your neck at his earnestness. "What do you mean⊠show you?"
âGive me your hand.â Donnie propped his chin on your stomach, gently taking your hand in his. "Just show me where you want me. I donât know what Iâm doing, either. If I know what you want, I can help you get what you want." His fingers traced abstract patterns on your hip, waiting. Grinning, like the sweet little shit he was.Â
You took a shaky breath, hesitating only a moment before guiding his hand lower. "Here, please..." you whispered, placing his fingers against the sensitive bundle of nerves. "This is... mmhm."
His eyes lit up. "Oh," he murmured, beginning to explore with careful, methodical touches that somehow managed to be incredibly arousing. "Your nerve endings here are quite--"
"Donnie," you gasped as he found just the right spot. "Less talking, more... yeah, that."
"Right. Sorry," he chuckled, adjusting his technique based on your reactions. "Got it. More doing, less talking, It'snotlikeyouhaveagirlrightinfrontofyou; genius," you heard him quietly criticizing-- mumbling-- to himself.
With a soft giggle, your hands threaded through the purple folds of his mask as he worked, his touch growing far bolder as your responses guided him.Â
His fingers moved with an experimental curiosity that made your toes curl, each touch deliberate and searching. When he shifted positions, lowering his head between your thighs, your entire body went rigid.
"Wait, Donnie, you don't have toâ" you started, pushing yourself up on your elbows.
"Shh," he murmured against your inner thigh, his breath warm against your skin. "I want to. I really want to." His eyes met yours from this new angle, dark even through his glasses. "Unless you're uncomfortable? Because we can stop. Absolutely no pressure."
You shook your head slowly, your cheeks burning. "No, it's not that. I just... I havenât⊠itâs been a while, is allâ" You trailed off, feeling embarrassingly inexperienced compared to his confident explorations so far.
Understanding dawned in his expression. "Sweetheart. That's okay. We'll figure it out together, or at least, jog your memory." He pressed a soft kiss to your thigh. "If I do anything you don't like, just tell me. Or squeeze my shoulder. Deal?"
"Deal," you whispered, settling back against the couch cushions as your heart hammered against your ribs.
His first cautious lick made you gasp, your hands flying to his shoulders. "Good or bad?" he asked immediately, pulling back slightly.
"Good," you breathed out. "Definitely good."
"Thank god," he muttered, more to himself than to you, before returning with more confidence.
His touch was exploratory at first, learning, but even still, with such care. When his tongue found a particularly sensitive spot, your back arched off the couch.
"Right there?" he asked, voice thick.
"God, yes. Please don't stop."
As he continued, your shy protests faded into soft whimpers and sighs. The lab faded away, replaced by the sensation of his mouth, his hands gripping your hips, the low sounds of pleasure he made against your skin that vibrated through your entire body.
"You're so pretty," he murmured, lifting his head momentarily to look at you. Your eyes were squeezed shut, mouth slightly parted as soft sounds escaped you. "So, so responsive."
"Please," you gasped, not even sure what you were asking for. "Donnie, Iâ"
Words failed you as he pressed closer, his tongue moving with renewed purpose. Your hips bucked against his mouth, seeking more of the delicious friction that had your nerve endings singing. He noticed your movements immediately, his mind cataloging your response before his body acted on instinct.
"Do you need more, love?" he murmured against your heated flesh, the vibration of his words making you shudder.
You could only nod frantically, your fingers tightening on his shoulders as he pulled back slightly. His glasses had fogged slightly from your combined heat, giving him an almost hazy appearance that made your heart flutter wildly.
His eyes held yours as he slowly brought his hand to where his mouth had just been. "I should probably warn you," he said, a slight blush creeping up his neck despite the intimacy of the moment. "My fingers... they're not exactly human-sized. They might be a bit much at first."
You watched, breath held tight in your chest, as he carefully traced your entrance with the tip of one thick, three-fingered hand. His skin was cool compared to your fevered warmth, and just that slight pressure had you seeing stars behind your closed eyelids.
"Just... go slow," you managed, voice thin and reedy.
"Always," he promised, pressing forward just enough to let you feel the stretch. "Tell me if it's too much."
The initial entry was unlike anything you'd experienced beforeâborderline overwhelming, but fuck. Still phenomenal. He stilled, letting you adjust, his thumb stroking comforting circles against your hip.
"Okay?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"More," you breathed out, surprising yourself with your own boldness. "Please, Donnie."
He obliged, sinking deeper as his mouth returned to its previous attention. The dual sensations were almost too much to processâthe exploration of his fingers paired with his tongue.
When he curled inside of you, pressing against a spot that made your vision go white; you cried out his name.
"Found it," he chuckled against you, the sound rumbling through your body. "Fascinating anatomical structure, really. The way youâ"
"Donnie," you interrupted, fingers tangling in his bandana. "Less science, more... oh god, right there."
"Right. Sorry," he mumbled, a bit embarrassed. "Force of habit."
As he continued his ministrations, you lost all track of time and place. The pressure continued to build steadily inside you. Higher... and higher... and higher...
Then his second finger joined the first.
You hadn't realized how much you needed thisâhow much you'd been craving his touch despite never consciously acknowledging it.
"Fuck, you're taking this so well," he murmured, his voice thick with awe.
He punctuated his thought with a particularly skillful curl of his fingers that had you arching off the couch, your head thrown back as pleasure washed over you in waves.
"Donnie," you gasped, hands scrabbling for purchase on the couch cushions. "I think... I'm going to..."
"Let go," he urged, his voice low and encouraging. "I've got you, love, let go. Nobody else is here to see this but me, you're doing perfect."
His words were your undoing. Those fast, quick paced words all rambled together at the end again told you that he was feeling something, too.
The tension that had been building inside you finally snapped.
God. Fucking. Damn. What was this feeling? You wanted more of him, but you couldn't quite place where he was. What he was saying. Was he talking to you right now? Everything is foggy. You can only feel one hand on the side of your thigh, caressing, calming you down. It was dim. So dim. With that touch came gentle murmurs as he worked you through it, his touches softening as you came down from your high.
When your eyes finally fluttered open, he was watching you with an expression of pure wonder, his fingers still buried inside you as if reluctant to break the connection.
"Did I do okay?" he asked again, softer this time. Quieter.
"Hm?" Still hazy. Your vision swam, colors bleeding at the edges as consciousness slowly seeped back into your limbs. One blink, then another, and Donnie's concerned face swam into focus above you. His glasses were slightly askew, and a strand of purple had come loose from his bandana, curling against his forehead.
"Welcome back," he murmured, his voice impossibly gentle. His thumb stroked your hip in slow, soothing circles. "How are you feeling?"
You managed a weak nod, your throat too dry for words. As awareness returned, so did sensitivityâa pleasant ache that reminded you of exactly what had transpired. Your eyes widened slightly as you became aware of his fingers still inside you.
"Sorry," he murmured, carefully withdrawing, the motion making you shudder. "Didn't want to startle you."
When he shifted to sit beside you on the couch, you noticed how his lab coat had ridden up, revealing the tactical gear beneath. Something stirred in youâa reciprocal desire to give him what he'd given you.
"Oh. You didn't..." you started, your voice raspy. "Can I... help you, too?"
Donnie's gaze softened, though a faint blush darkened his green cheeks. He reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers. "Oh, sweetheart, no. That's... incredibly kind of you to offer, but no, this was enough for me."
"Butâ"
"There's a reason," he interrupted gently, bringing your joined hands to his lips for a soft kiss. "My anatomy is... well, considerably different from what you're used to." He paused, seeming to search for the right words. "And on the larger scale, I'm afraid. I wouldn't want to hurt you, especially not when..." He glanced down at where your bodies had nearly connected earlier. "When we've just... made this advancement. Out of the blue, like this."
"I wouldn't say it's out of the blue. You looked like you've been plotting that for a while."
"Okay, well." Donnie laughed, taking a breath. "I'd say that's mutual, thank you. You're not that hard of a read. I could tell how you felt ever since I asked you personally to join in on my project."
Your heart swelled at his words, at the concern that radiated from him. "Fair. So, maybe another time? Maybe? Possibly?" A gentle ask.
A genuine smile lit up his face. "Absolutely, yes. Fuck yes," he agreed. Again, with the spontaneous cursing. "Nothing I'd want more. Just. some safety measures, is all. When we're both more prepared I can properly explain things. "
"I think I can handle that." You joked around. A smile, alongside a genuine nod, came, as you rested your head against the backside of the couch.
You watched Donnie step out of the way for a brief second, coming back with a tiny purple washcloth and bottle of water for you.
"Would it be alright if Iâ?" Donnie gestured with the washcloth, his uncertainty palpable. "I can help clean you up. I-If you're fine being touched right now, I know that was a lot in itself."
Your nod was immediate, though shy. He got down on his knees again, gently wiping between your thighs. Donnie was very careful not to press too hard against sensitive skin.
After setting the washcloth aside, he twisted open the water bottle and softly pressed it into your hands. "Here. Drink, please?" You did so, watching as his towering form stood up once again; just to flop down in exhaust right next to you.
Before you could argue against it, Donnie was pulling you against his plastron. His arms wrapped around you securely, the hard shell against your back surprisingly comforting. One hand stroked your hair while the other rested on your hip, thumb tracing idle patterns through the fabric of your sweater.
"Still okay?" he murmured, his chin resting atop your head.
"Better than okay," you sighed, melting into his embrace. The couch wasn't really built for someone of his size, but he made it work.
"You're perfect," he murmured against your hair, pressing a soft kiss there. "Did you know that?"
You hummed contentedly, your hand coming to rest on his chest. "You're not so bad yourself, Professor."
Donnie chuckled, the sound rumbling through his plastron against your cheek. "Oh. My. God. Are we not past that by now?" His fingers traced lazy patterns along your arm, sending pleasant shivers across your skin. "Especially given our current arrangement."
"True," you murmured, tilting your head back to press a soft kiss to his jawline. "So, talk to me. What does this mean? For us? With the semester ending in a few weeks?" The question hung between you, weighted with unspoken implications about ethics and boundaries you'd already crossed.
"I've been thinking about that," Donnie admitted quietly. "Once the project's complete, once you've graduated... there's no formal reason we can't see where this goes. Professionally speaking, of course."
His scientific approach to romance would have been amusing if your heart wasn't pounding at the implications. "So we just... wait?" Your fingers wandered to the edge of his bandana, tracing the soft fabric.
"Three weeks," he confirmed, capturing your wandering hand in his. "Three weeks of focused work on the prosthetic prototype, then..." He paused, lowering his head to brush his lips against yours. "Then I'd very much like to take you on a proper date. Where I don't have to worry about crossing ethical lines."
"You've been crossing ethical lines for months," you teased, though your voice was soft.
"Just wait those three weeks. See what happens then," he smirked, lightly massaging your shoulder.
Good God.
â°â„ïž âź
Location: Apartment â„ïž
Time: 8:40 P.M
Three weeks. That was the deal. Three weeks of professionalism. Three weeks of pretending Donnie's lecture hall wasn't suddenly your favorite place on Earth. Three weeks of sidelong glances in his semester-long class that nobody else would see.
Now, with your diploma tucked safely in its tube and the final research paper submitted, you were free. The wait was everlasting.
Your apartment was quieter than the lab. No humming of machinery, no Donnie muttering calculations under his breath. Just the whir of your aging refrigerator and the distant New York traffic. You'd changed out of your graduation gown into comfortable sweats, the ceremonial fabric now draped over a chair in the corner of your room. Your phone sat face down on the coffee table, it hadn't buzzed all evening.
Not that you were watching it. Much.
The text came at 8:47 PM.
Donnie: Congratulations again, by the way. You were brilliant today. Also, would this Saturday be acceptable for our previously discussed endeavor?
You couldn't help but smile at his formal phrasing. Even in texts, he sounded so fancy. Your thumbs hovered over the screen before typing back.
You: Date night?
The three dots appeared immediately, disappeared, then reappeared.
Donnie: Yes. Thatâs what Iâm asking hahahahaha
Thatâs a lot of haâs.Â
You: Friday sounds perfect. Are you going to tell me where we're going?
Donnie: That would spoil the surprise. I'll pick you up at 7.
Donnie: Unless you would prefer to meet somewhere specific?
You thought to yourself; typing away as you came up with a solution.Â
You: You seem to have dinner in mindÂ
You: But
You: How do you feel about museums?
You laughed softly under your breath, leaning back against your pillows as the warmth in your chest spread all over again. Three dots began to type.Â
Donnie: I broke into one once.
Three dots again.Â
Donnie: Iâll explain over dinner, now you canât get out it hahahahah
Donnie: đ
You bit your lip, unable to stop smiling. This. Man. Good grief.Â
â°â„ïž âź
Location: The Lair â„ïž
Time: 8:50 P.M
Donnie leaned back in his chair at the lair's main table, setting his phone face down beside his scattered schematics. He was home, once again; happy to be surrounded by the people he loved the most. His brothers, each in their own colorful distinction, had gone their separate ways, given the recent acceptance of mutants into society.
Splinter demanded they all meet up again. He missed his kids, thatâs all.Â
Splinter did not miss Mikeyâs explicit mouth. God forbid Donnie lets his youngest brother know about this girl.
âDude!! I had one of those too. Met her in a comic book shop and everything!! I knew her for a while, man, we hit it off real well and then weââÂ
âMikey!â Leo, Raph, and Donnie all spat.Â
âWhat? Just being honest. Topic got brought up. Thatâs all, bro.â He held his hands up in defense. Raph punched them both downâ
His white titanium arm replacing what was previously green.Â
âOw! What the hell, Raph?!âÂ
âSorry. Just testinâ it out. Packs a punch, huh?â Raph grumbled, flexing his new prosthetic arm with a grin. âShitâs fuckinâ awesome.â
âLanguage, Raph.â Leo mumbled; bent over as he grabbed a box of tea from one of their cabinets.Â
Donnie smiled faintly at the praise, though his mind was already drifting back to Friday. To you. His phone buzzed on the table.
(Y/N): Friday at 7. Iâm looking forward to it. Very much. Please donât break into any more museums.
Donnie hearted the message, but couldnât slam his phone down fast enough before Mikey could get up in his business.Â
âOoh, secret messages? Is it that girl? Whatâs her name? Whatâs she look like?â
Donnieâs green cheeks darkened. âItâs none of your business, Mikey. Go bother Dad.â
The orange turtle groaned; but did so. Heâd probably get tasered away again if he didnât leave.Â
Donnie: Iâll try my best. Looking forward to it.
Sent.
You: Iâm looking forward to it too, Professor. đ
Donnieâs heart did a little flip. He quickly typed back:
Donnie: Youâre going to be the death of me. See you Friday.
You sent a purple heart in response to that message. Donatello smiled.Â
He set the phone down, trying to hide his grin as his brothers continued to tease. This was where he wanted to be. This environment, his people; his you.Â
Heâd made up with Raph. The two of you had finished the project. And, better yet, he was going to take you out on a date. To dinner and a museum. It genuinely, wholeheartedly, could not get better than this.Â
Donatello was smart. That was his thing.
He could solve the worldâs hardest problem in his head. He could calculate complex theorems; then invent a new one on the spot, like it was nothing. He could predict outcomes, probabilities, patternsâentire chains of events before they even happened.Â
But neverâ in a million yearsâ could that man have predicted you.Â
â°â„ïž âź
AN: I am a veterinary sciences major. I donât know shit about engineering. I found my information off of some weird ass websites. Pretend like this anything mentioned wasnât probably surface level knowledge đ there's also probably many editing mistakes in here... i wrote this on multiple platforms so it's likely screwed up. let me know if you spot anything and i'll fix it!
sincerely hope you enjoyed :) i said i'd release this on the weekend and it's 12:07 am my time. i sort of lied. forgive me pls
tags: bayverse, request part 2, not a pre-established relationship, apologies previous anon, angst w/ comfort, distant reader (?), raph comforts you through a breakup
synopsis: raph hears the banter from you and your now ex-boyfriend over patrol one night. he comes to ease your mind a little, unexpectedly.
â°â„ïž âź
It was late. One in the morning, maybe? Your hands had that throbbing kind of hurt in them again. They burned. They were tender. Sore. It was agonizing.
It was impossible to tell whether the ache in your chest was physical or emotional this time⊠all you knew was that your hands were tightâ quite literally fists of rageâ as you shoved your ex-boyfriend out of your apartment. Rain drenched his brittle, straw-like hair while you became utterly soaked with tears that were soon to stain your absolutely exasperated face.Â
Still, his screams surpassed the thunder; the rage in his eyes shining brighter than lightning, his anger everlasting.
âOh, that was so long ago, get over it!âÂ
âYou think that changes anything?! You were with another girl! Another girl! You ignorant piece of shitâI canât believe you!â
âGoddamn it, why donât you take a second and think about how I felt? Seriously! You act like I committed some crime! I mean, from how I see it, youâre acting like itâs the end of the world because I got drunk once and kissed herââ
âYou did more than just kiss her.â A hiss from your throat reverberated. âYou know damn well.â
âOh, come on. It was one mistake.â
âSo you admit to it?! And you still, in your right mind, think that this relationship is gonna be okay?!â
âFine! Jesus, yes! I did!â he yelled. âBut if you werenât so damn emotional, maybe I wouldnât have been tempted! Youâre always checking up on me, questioning everything I do! Itâs getting old!â
âSo now itâs my fault that you cheated?â you spat.
âMaybe if you werenât always so controlling, none of this would have happened!â Oh. My. God.
âGet out.â You whispered. He was silent.Â
âGet. Out.â
His eyesâvenomousâfixed on you. Almost violent with the way he stared. You didnât like it. Others would question why he acted like this, but you knew. This was in this insolent little manâs nature.
And, shit, he couldnât even pay for dinner because he was too âbrokeâ from paying for another womanâs meal! Too busy taking an endless rotation of girls out on dates, too busy hooking up with coworkers, too busy scrambling for yet another new job after getting himself fired from the last oneâ whatever it was, he was far too busy for you.
And thank God for that.
Your now-ex boyfriend turned on his heel, muttering something vile under his breath, and stormed down the street without another word, leaving you shivering and alone on your apartment doorstep.
You felt the rain cascade down your shoulders. Cold. Soaking. Murky.
Itâs your fault.Â
Thatâs what he thinks. That this entire relationshipâ the one you finally had the guts to endâ he thought that his adulterous actions were your fault. Hah.
You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You wanted to go back in time and make sure you never even met him.
But you couldnât. You couldnât do any of that.Â
So, you stared. You stared until that man was gone. Hidden by the rain, locked away from you as long as you would never allow him to return.Â
But while your eyes peered into this manâs back, another pair watched from afar; a pair of eyes that was supposed to be out on patrol, but was much, much more interested in something else.
â°â„ïž âź
The moment he was gone, the moment he turned around the block, every meticulous piece of a glass wall you had spent years methodically building, had shattered. Into a million pieces. Itâs your fault, itâs your fault, itâs your faultâ the floor felt unstable. Fuck, get inside, will you?
And so you did. You had never scrambled to close a door faster. Your breath hitched as your hands trembled, fumbling with the deadbolt before you locked itâ once, twice, three times.
The click of each lock echoed in the suffocating silence of your apartment. You slid down against the wood, body giving out. You buried your face in your knees and finally let the sobs take over, racking your entire frame with the force of them.
Sobs turned into heaves. Heaves turned into dry coughing. Dry coughing turned into⊠retching. Great.Â
The nausea hits again, goddammit, and you clamp your hands over your mouth, but it doesnât matter. Stupid crying. Stupid symptoms. Stupid anxiety. Stupid, God, all of it! You scrambled to your feet, lurching unsteadily toward the bathroom. Your stomach heaved. Nothing came up. This useless body of yours canât do anything right, can it? Fuck. Just painful, dry retches that left your throat burning and your head pounding. You slumped against the cool porcelain of the toilet, your body shaking, trembling, so angry at yourself you want to destroy the walls, the sink, the whole goddamn room.
You forced yourself up, your legs feeling like jelly. You stumbled to the sink and splashed cold water on your face, the shock of it momentarily clearing your head. When you looked in the mirror, you didn't recognize the person staring back. Eyes swollen and bloodshot, face pale and blotchy. A stranger. Living in your skin.
This was rock bottom. It had to be. You dragged yourself out of the bathroom, leaving the light on. Your parents had told you to do that when you were little when you got stressed⊠whatever coping mechanisms work, work. You took a look around the place.Â
The apartment was a mess of discarded clothes and half-empty boxes of tissues. Most clothes were his; you were more than happy to trash them. Bottles of random drinks youâve never heard of. Food he left out that he did not trash. A window he did not decide to shut.Â
âStinks ân here,â you heard a voice mumble.Â
âŠthat little shit left the window open.Â
Resting at the window was Raph; perched by your fire escape, his soaked red bandana clinging to his wet scales and skin like a magnet.Â
A sigh reverberated from your lungs. Your legs gave out once again, sinking down onto the floor, the purpose of your feet practically nonsensical by now.Â
âYou heard all that?â You mumble. âWhat are you even doing here? Youâre supposed to be on the other side of town this time of night.âÂ
âS, uh, patrol got cancelled or somethinâ. My end, at least⊠thank Leo for that.â He shrugged. âHeard the banter. Came to check it out.âÂ
His facial expression was his typical pick-- you'd known him forever, that his angry face was his casual-- but there was nothing casual about it, this time. Raphâs upper face had somewhat contorted into the bottom; if he had eyebrows, they would have been flipped. Almost like he was concerned.Â
âRight,â you mumble. âYou heard it all. So you can go. Iâm fine.â
âYeah, sure.â You swore you could hear a scoff come from his throat. Annoyed, your gaze lifted to meet his.Â
"Seriously think I'm leavin'? Dumbass." His eyes moved slowly over the scene again, taking in the shake of your hands, the slump of your shoulders, the mess crowding the room around you. It didnât take much to see you werenât okay. Not at all. So why werenât you telling him? His mouth tightened in a quick grimace behind the windowsill, and he covered it by turning away with a cough, grumbling something about inhaling a bug.
You allowed Raph to talk to you like this. It was his way of showing his affection to people, whether that be his brothers, or you. Blunt and dry. Unnecessary cursing. Awkward back-and-forth arguments. But he was trying, always, admittedly; so you allowed it. Momentarily.
âCan you just leave this be? I want to be alone.â Your voice was barely a whisper.
âNot gonna happen,â he said, his tone firm but not unkind.Â
He finally moved, swinging his legs over the windowsill and landing softly on the floor inside your apartment. He was careful, observant, as he was taught to beâ maybe he was afraid you might shut down. He straightened up, his imposing frame seeming to fill the small space. Droplets of rain dripped from his bandana and shell and fell mercilessly to the floor.
âIf you ask me, jerk had it cominâ,â he said, nodding toward the road your ex had disappeared through. âHeard every word. You were right to say what yaâ did.â
Oh, come on, every word?! You didn't respond. You just wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling a fresh wave of tears pricking at your eyes. You refused to let them fall. Not in front of him.
Raph shifted his weight, the floorboards groaning beneath his substantial frame. His hands, those massive green hands that could crush concrete but had once carefully aided a broken appendage for you, fidgeted at his sides. He hated this â seeing you broken like this, all crumpled on the floor like a piece of discarded paper. Hated himself more for the stupid reasons he'd never made his move sooner.Â
For someone who wasnât very people-apt, people-friendlyâ as youâd put it⊠he did have a soft spot for you. A very, very, soft spot.Â
Raphael had a hard time trusting any human that was introduced to their lives at first. Naturally. He wasnât similar in physicality to that of a regular personâ that much was just a fact of life for him and his brothers. But⊠heâd gotten used to you far quicker than he should have. Leo, Donnie and Mikey would tease him endlessly about it! Raph always brushed them off. If anyone asked, heâd just shrug and say you were easier to trust. That you treated him like a real person instead of a monster. Wasnât it obvious?
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you didnât scream when you first met the family of mutants. The fact that they never heard you utter a word about them behind their backs. Not a peep.
Youâd actually met Raph, first. He was weary when approaching humans, as he always was. He often just lingered in the shadows. But you had broken some part of your body by the fault of a foot soldier⊠the responsibility of you had fallen to him. So, it was duty, you know? Thatâs what he had called it. It drew him in a little bit more than average considering you didnât seem scared, at first glance.
His brothers would only say it spiraled from there. Apparently, the turtle simply couldnât shut his mouth about you for as long as heâd known you. Raph, of course, would claim the oppositeâ heâd only say his life has gotten better because he had finally found someone he could trust.Â
Raph had known about your stupid, disgusting relationship for months. Heâd been your shoulder to cry on when you knew your ex had screwed up, but were so willingly ready to give his manipulative ass another chance. The turtle always listened. Without judgement. Every insult your previous boyfriend would hurl at youâ every dismissal, every piece of your life that he controlled, every single bit of itâ was infodumped to Raph. He logged it in his head. Not typically something he does, but, you were a different story.Â
Over time, that anger for your boyfriend had developed. Jealousy, was it, that he had felt? Anger for his actions? Was all of it an option?! Raph knew he was a turtle with a temper, but this felt so ridiculously out of bounds for him! He canât control you. He doesnât want to control you, no. Not ever. But if he could just convince you to see the carnage that man has wreaked on your mentalityâŠÂ
This worthless human had been taking up space in your life, space that Raph increasingly, desperately wished he could occupy. He would think about you constantly. More than your ex did. Oh, how he was positive of that. He knew what you liked. Your interests. Favorite colors. Music. You shared so many things in commonâ and with that man, there were none.Â
He hated that he couldn't just be with you, not like a normal guy. He was a mutant turtle. The idea of this thought had plagued him since birth.That fact had been sitting in the back of his mind his whole life, something he knew would matter eventually. Feelings amplified times ten, the mutant had no idea how to deal with this. Pure jealousy and hatred for something he simply could not control.Â
"You, uh," he started, then stopped, clearing his throat. "You need anything?"
You shook your head without looking up, focusing instead on a darkened stain in the carpet.
He scanned the room again, his gaze lingering on an overturned picture frame â you and the ex at some beach, your smile genuine then, his already fake. Raph's jaw tightened. He'd met the guy twice. (Watched him from afarâ he respected you too much to impose. He was terrified he would have disposed of the manchild.) Both times, something had felt off. Wrong.
"Been wonderin' something," Raph said, taking another careful step into the room. "Why'd you stay with him so long?"
His question settled into the silence between you. Do you tell the truth? Your mouth stayed closed, your head giving a faint shake instead. You knew the answer. Youâd known it the whole time. But, good god, did it hurt to admit it. It hurt so bad. Raph knew that all too well. He didn't try to push for a response.
You didnât move, didnât respond. That was fine. Heâd wait. Waiting was nothing. Heâd always wait.
"You deserve better," he finally said, voice low and rough as gravel. The turtle found himself crossing the small space with intricately placed steps to stand beside your crumpled figure. He didn't sit, just stood there, his gaze fixed on some distant point before drifting down, eventually landing on you.
"What better is there, Raph? I thought he was going to be the-"
"Someone better? Someone who⊠I dunno," He struggled for the words. âSomeone who actually gives a shit? Me?â
The confession lingered in the space between you, awkward, the room suddenly feeling far too small, far too quiet. Raph hadnât meant to say that. Not like that. Not while you were already hurting. He watched your shoulders tense, but you still didn't look at him. He felt a hot flush crawl up the back of his neck. This was a disaster. He should just go. He should swing back out the window and let you be. But he couldn't move. He was rooted to the spot, trapped by your silence and his own stupid, runaway mouth.
You stayed silent for a long moment, the only sounds being the gentle patter of rain against the windowpane and the distant rumble of thunder. Raphâs heartbeat hammered in his own chest, a wild, frantic rhythm he was sure you could somehow hear. Then, you slowly lifted your head, your tear-streaked face finally meeting his. A sad, watery something-of-a-smile pulled at the corners of your lips. He wasnât sure how to feel about that. Was that⊠a good sign? He couldn't tell.
"Okay." you whispered, your voice hoarse from crying. Your gaze wasn't one of disgust, or fear. Just⊠tired. So incredibly tired. But there was something else in there, too.Â
A wave of⊠something, crashed over Raph, hot and overwhelming. He took a half-step back, the floorboards groaning in protest. "Forget I said that," he grumbled, turning away, unable to hold your gaze. "Stupid."
"No," you said softly. "Youâre not. Weâll talk about it. Eventually."
There was a sensation brewing deep in Raph's stomach. Butterflies?
Raph chanced a look back. Your head cocked just so, gaze combing through his. He could see the questions there, the confusion, the exhaustion. But he didn't see complete despair.
He was searching for that emotion. He saw a tiny smile, something finally the tiniest bit hopeful-- something that looked a whole lot like you. The you he knew.
"Look," he said, sighing, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just⊠let me help, alright? Lemme clean this place up a bit. Let me-"
"You're a mess. Let's go clean up in the shower or something, c'mon..." You mumbled, sleepily pulling him up, walking a very willing turtle towards your bathroom.Â
"Yeah, and you're soaked, (y/n), don't you wanna put on some dry clothes?" He was gentle with you. You wanted to take him somewhere, so be it, that's where he went. No matter what it was you said to convince him to do so.
"And you're covered in dirt from patrol. Let me do something that has me focus on someone I actually like, rather than him, please?" You mumbled, using slight force to shove Raph down onto the ledge of your bathtub. He accepted, manually sitting himself down; you couldn't really push him if you tried.
Did you really not want to talk about anything that happened tonight?
Ah, well. It had him confused for a second.
The sensation of a warm, soapy washcloth was in your hands, and you were gently wiping the grime from his scales.
Raph froze. He could feel the heat from the cloth, the gentle pressure of your fingers against his arm. He could smell the faint scent of your soap, something floral and clean that was so drastically different from the stink that your boyfriend had sprayed into this place like a protective skunk defending its territory. This was quite intimate. More so than any fight, any battle he had ever partaken in.
Fuck, he was falling so hard. Falling deeper into this hole he'd dug himself.
He watched you, your brow furrowed in concentration as you carefully cleaned a particularly stubborn patch of dirt from his forearm. Your hands, which had been shaking so violently just moments before, were now steady, purposeful. This was your coping mechanism, he realized. You didnât want to do any talking. No thinking, no nothing. No nothing, other than focusing on some simple and repetitive task in front of you that took your mind off of the world for a few brief moments.Â
He held his breath as you moved up to his shoulder, the soft cloth tracing the lines of his muscles. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks again, a deep green tint he was grateful you couldn't see in the dim light of the bathroom.
Still, with your hands gently drying off his skin with an older towel, he didnât move a muscle. He just breathedâ in, out. In and out again. Watching your miniscule hands wash his ginormous form with such care and attention. Attention heâs been wanting to reciprocate to you.
"Raph," you started, your voice a little shaky.
"Mm?"
âYou⊠youâre staying, right?â You chewed your lip. âItâs pouring out there."
"You want me to?"Â
You nodded, folding the towel and placing it in a bin, soon to be added to your laundry pile. âPlease?â
He nodded, moving out of the bathroom with a grunt. "Yeah, 'course. Ain't leavin' you here by yourself.â
He followed you out of the bathroom and into the main room, which now felt slightly less oppressive, though still littered with the debris of your breakdown. Raph quickly began gathering the strewn clothes and damp tissues, tossing them into a pile. He made quick work of the mess. You watched him for a moment, the sight of him quietly cleaning your space doing more to settle your nerves than any amount of cold water had.
"You don't need to worry about the mess" you finally said, your voice still rough. "It can wait. He'll come pick it up eventually."
Raph grunted, dropping a bundle of wadded-up paper. "No. Canât stand a mess. He doesn't need his stuff, anyways." Ironic. His room was always a mess. He shot a quick glance at the window, which he then shut firmly, locking it this time. The apartment was now sealed, the sound of the outside rain muted to a dull, steady drumming.
Once the worst of the clutter was goneâmost of it belonging to your ex, now confined to a garbage bag heâd happily designated for his thingsâRaph turned to you. "Go get changed. Youâre gonna catch a cold."
You didnât argue. You slipped into your bedroom and returned a minute later wearing some oversized, stained t-shirt and a pair of worn pajama bottoms. At least they were clean.
You moved toward the couch, sinking into the corner cushions. Raph, after checking that his weapons harness was completely empty, followed. He hesitated for a moment, looking at the available space on the small sofa. It was a tight fit for him on his own, let alone with you.
He settled gingerly on the other end, his shell pressed against the armrest, a gap of several feet between you. Your eyes still sat on the floor. Unmoving. But, you did have the energy to nod him over closer to you.
âSo⊠all that,â Raph started, his voice barely audible over the rain. "Your ex. you really done with him?â
You pulled your knees up to your chest and rested your chin on them. âYeah. Completely. No chance. I meant it. I just⊠I donât want to feel that stupid again."
"Don't say that." He whipped his head directly at you. "Jerk just took advantage of the fact you cared. Kept pushinâ to see how much he could get away with. Happens.â He paused, scratching the back of his neck. âBut heâs gone now." He let out a slow breath in addition to a pause. âYou gonna be okay?â
A genuine smile, the first of the night, touched your lips. "I think so. I hope so. Thank you."
Without a second thought, you shifted, sliding across the cushions until you were right beside him. You laid your head on his shoulder, your temple resting against the rough, warm surface of his scales.
Raph went rigid, a statue of surprise. You felt his body momentarily lock up. You snuggled closer, letting out a deep, cleansing sigh.
âYou can relax, Raph,â you mumbled, your voice already heavy with exhaustion. âI like you too."Â
The words tumbled out thick with sleep, barely coherent but carrying their weight all the same. The warmth of him beside you damn near made you surrender yourself to the vulnerability. It was exactly what your restless mind had been searching for, and now that you had it, your body finally began to let go.
After a minute, something in Raphâs mind slowly allowed him to relax, a feeling that washed over him like sunlight. He let out the breath heâd been holding, the tension draining from his shoulders.
With a gentle movement, you lifted his heavy, muscular arm and draped it across the back of the sofa, settling your head against his bicep. He made a surprisingly comfortable pillowâfar better than your dismissive ex, though you certainly werenât thinking about that.
"Let me know if you want your arm back," you muttered sleepily into his scales, your eyes drifting shut.
Raph grunted, though it came out more like a snort. âSure.â You felt the deep, steady rumble of his chest beneath you. His arm stayed exactly where youâd placed it, comfortable and stable. Heâd lifted his fingers a bit to brush them against your hair. They soon began to move to their own accord, softly scratching your scalp.
You were just so tired. You wanted to sleep. Hard. Deep. Without dreams. You just wanted comfort. And that was what he was able to provide you with.Â
In the dim moonlight filtering through the window, your breathing had steadied into soft, rhythmic puffs against his scales. Raph remained perfectly still, afraid that even the slightest shift might break whatever fragile peace had settled over the apartment. He watched your eyelids flutter in sleep, the wet remnants of tears dried on your cheeks. His eyes traced the gentle curve of your shoulder where it rested against his bicep.
He gazed at your sleeping form in his arms. Watching you doze off, Raph had some trouble brushing off the small, rare sense of thanks curling in his chest. For once, in a million years, heâd never admit this aloudâ he was grateful for Leo, who had purposefully dismissed him from patrol so he could check on you.
The leader had heard shouting from afar. Leo went to check on the disturbance, thinking it was the classic Foot Clan kidnapping case-- he found the situation was very up Raph's alley.
Each brother would have a hard time putting into words just how much complaining he had to hear every night about your ex from his angsty brother. Maybe sending him off would fix it, Leo thought.
Raph had stayed up countless nights thinking about this moment. Not exactly this, but some alteration of this where you finally saw what he did. How he cared for you, why he did. God, how he wanted to shove the thought into your mind that you deserved someone who'd show up, who'd listen, who'd actually care. He never imagined it would happen like this, though. Never imagined the catalyst for your previous encounter would cause you such raw pain.
Your words reverberated in Raphâs mind.Â
Youâll talk about it. Eventually.
â°â„ïž âź
i may rewrite this one. we'll see lol
other parts soon to come: links will update as they release <3
series: frustrated reader / turtle of choice (request)
blue hour: bay! leo x reader
sweet nothings: bay! donnie x reader
on my last nerve: bay! raph x reader (you are here)
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in your opinion, what type of person attract each of the bayverse turtles? and with whom they would be most compatible with?đ
100% Compatibility: Bayverse! Turtles x Reader Drabbles
đ this is such a cute request!! wanted to get something out because apparently i've been inactive with my writing for about a month here... VOP is coming soon i promise đ€
requests are open <3: finishing violation of protocol first, though ;)
tags: bayverse, x reader, gender neutral, leo, raph, donnie, mikey, drabbles? headcanons? i didn't know what to call it, fluff and attraction
synopsis: a little analysis of each turtle's interests in a person. what exactly are they attracted to? who are they compatible with?
â°â„ïž âź
In my opinion, Leo would be the most attracted, or, naturally compatible with someone who possesses the capability to keep his domineering persona in line. That turtle has it in his head consistently that he needs to be the leader, he needs to be the one on top of things all of the time, he needs to be able to put individuals below him where they quote-on-quote âbelongâ-- as heâd so disrespectfully label it. Unfortunately, he also needs to know that he canât exactly⊠do that every time. So much for respect! The man can hardly keep his sensitive emotions in his head when he boasts his ability to do so.Â
He does try, though. Itâs not really an âanger-issue,â per se, but rather more of a âcontrolâ kind of issue? Everything NEEDS to go his way and he'll be all sensitive and negatively emotional when it doesn't. After the whole airplane incident, he had a long talk with Splinter about how he treats his team. Here and there, heâd struggleâ but he would do better with a constant reminder. Thatâs where you come in.Â
Leo would be naturally compatible with somebody who can talk some sense into his brain. Who can tell him off when the time calls for it; who can be more dominant in the situation despite the fact that he knows damn well he should be acting better.Â
Occasionally, heâll act all bitchy and possessive to piss you off, just so he can watch you knock some sense into him when heâs trying to take control of others again.Â
You notice (more often than not, now) that Leoâs done a better job at it. You watched him grow into the âhonor-boyâ that his brothers, Raph, especially, had stereotyped him to be.Â
Oh, he became an honor-boy, alright. Just for you.Â
Because, oh, you want him? Do you need him to help you out with something simple? He can help you, sure. More teasing ensues and heâll be a little brat about it. But oh! This means you have to get all bossy with him, telling him to âstopâ and to âget his damn act together?â Please, more, Leo would be addicted to that!Â
Of course the attitude is a front. But by god, once heâs got a hold of you, that man is obsessed.Â
(TLDR; heâs sensitive and submissive to individuals who will call him out for his bullshit. he also really likes it when you glaze him though because good god i just know he gets the ego boost andâll get all teasing and taunting again and obsessed with the idea that you want him. heâs severely attracted to the idea, i guarantee it)
Next is Raph.
Oh, Raph. Big Red. Easy enough to write for, because Iâve had this idea in my head for ages.Â
You may think he needs someone thatâs chronically angry or ticked off like him. No. He wants the opposite.Â
He wants someone thatâs willing to help him coax into his calmer nature. Heâs not just angry. God, thatâs all anyone ever sees him as. He has a personality, for Godâs sakes! He likes knitting! Motorcycles! Working out! He has a huge stuffed animal on his bed because of that one time Mikey compared him to a giant teddy bear!Â
Raph wantsâno, needsâsomeone whoâs willing to ease him into this lifestyle, out and away from the anger. NOT like the âI can fix him đâ way. Absolutely not, that shit turns him in the opposite direction. He needs someone willing to wait. Willing to see him for who he is, past the anger, and help him with his identity. He often found himself attracted to people who study any kind of arts or humanities for this reason! Not to stereotype, but he found that the majority of them were great listeners, and even had unique passions of their own. Hell, heâd love someone who wouldnât judge him for his anxious knitting and crochet hobby lol. He gets enough shit from his brothers for it.
He might also find it interesting if you were interested in cars, or any kind of motorized vehicle, for that matter. Raphâs also smart, itâs not just Donnie! He knows how to work with vehicles, he works on his motorcycle all the damn time. If you had some sort of background knowledge to yap with him about, dude would be head over heels.
I also think heâd be really into bakers. If he was having a rough day and you slipped a plate of warm cookies through a crack in his door, heâd find himself trailing the scent and straight back to you. Not to mention the cute little note youâd slipped on top of them. Something like a âhope youâre doing okay,â or âdidnât want u to feel left out <3â... that would mean the world to him.Â
He likes people he can be physically intimate with. PDA, touching, showing you off, thatâs Raphâs thing. Gently wiping off your sweat because he pushed you past your breaking point in a workout. Let him love you! Let him show you off!Â
He worked hard for this, canât he prove it to you?
Donnieâs turn!Â
That man is absolutely, 100%, undeniable, most compatible with people who hyperfixate. Shocker.Â
You donât need to be smart like him! While he does appreciate the intelligence quotient compatibility⊠dudeâs a nerd. A geek. Could and would hyperfixate on something for days and stay up til the crack of dawn conversing about it. Donnie does not need a second Donnie in the room. Donnie would explode out of excitement and shit would go awry. Heâd love that, though, but againâ itâs not necessary.
I have a headcanon that heâs a comic and book nerd. One of his favorite things to talk about is the horrendous book-to-movie adaptations he sees, it usually turns into a passionate, angry rant that you canât help but tease him forâeven though youâre right there with him, following every single word that seeps out of his mouth that has an usually large tongue hanging out of it here and there. He appreciates that you actually listen to his critiques of pacing and character arcs. He appreciates you listening in general, most people just zone out when he enters that mode!
Thatâs what heâs attracted toâ yes, intelligence, but a specific kind. When you can stay up and chat for hours about one topic, thatâs what he loves! Not only that, but getting you out of your comfort zone, too. Quiet individuals. He likes those. Iâll come back to it.
Back to the teasing⊠yes, that is another trait he finds attractive. I wouldnât necessarily say heâs compatible with it, though, as heâs genuinely terrible at telling you off. Heâll get all shy and push his glasses up and spin his chair away in the opposite direction of where youâre facing. The fact that youâre quiet, shy, reserved? Donnie would never have predicted you saying something as outward as that would fluster him.Â
(he does pretend heâs all that and a bag of chips in his free time though. i know it. once you get to know him, he gets more confident in himself, eventually retaliating to your teasing. he hopes those teases eventually turn into flirts⊠heâs kinda hyped himself up for that a tad bit too much. he knows heâs tall and nerdy and kind of a sarcastic little shit at heart who curses all the time but he can make himself attractive, right? through words? god, how he hopes. )
Please ask him questions. He loves people who ask him questions.Â
Match his freak. He has a terrible habit of cursing and listening to slutty nerd music (I totally stole that headcanon from @ray-jaykub . i am obsessed with it, itâs forever in my mind. full credit to you for that đ) So, yes. Sit there and pretend to enjoy it.
Heâs into the shy, quiet ones. Loves when they, again, match his freak in private. Loves glasses, too. donât debate me iâm not changing any part of that headcanon
Mikey, the last turtle of this little ramble!!
It honestly doesnât even matter because he canât really tell, but heâd be so naturally compatible with someone whoâs a younger sibling, just like him. Shocker, right? Mikeyâs been pushed down, shoved aside, and flat-out ignored just because everyone assumes he doesnât know enough or hasnât seen enough of the world to actually engage in a more mature conversation. Heâd love to find someone who just gets that struggle.
Mikey pays attention to hierarchy more than people think. Who gets listened to first? Who gets interrupted? Who gets talked over? That, he listens to.
Orange wants someone who can keep up with him⊠someone who genuinely likes him for who he is and includes them in his conversations. He wants someone expressive, who tells them how he feels, if heâs gone overboard or screwed something up! Mikey would ABSOLUTELY stress that communication is key. Heâs a green flag, greenest of green.Â
Usually, none of the turtles are going to choose someone solely off of physical looks; that doesnât change with Mikey. However, he does loveâ LOVEâ people with expressive faces. People who have interesting features, like him, immediately catch his eyes. He reads people visually first, so if someone is emotionally legible, heâd be more prone to interacting with them.Â
Another thing visually: he likes it when people dress casually, not professionally all the time! Mikey is very chill, laid back, and hates being told what to do. Anytime he sees someone dressed professionally, suit and tie, blazer and heels, in a certain dress codeâa cop outfit (woah, whereâd that come from? cough)? He thinks heâs gonna get bossed around. Not something heâs really into. He prefers them naturally soft and inviting!
Mikey has a soft spot for anyone who can whip up a meal. He prefers savory cooking to sweet baking, but that manâs stomach is also a bottomless pit, so heâll take anything he can get. He gets along with his Red brother for this reason; theyâre closer together, so they share that interest for sure â€ïžđ§Ą
Like Donnie, that manâs freak level is above whatâs natural. He is absolutely going to use that to toy with you, though he might inadvertently find himself drawn to your retaliation. Mikey doesnât know what heâs gotten himself into, now. Just like every other situation he manages to find himself inâŠ
Heâs respectful!! Always!! Again, Michelangelo is such a green flag. Always making sure youâre comfortable, you have what you want, youâre warm and cozied up under a blanket with himâ let him spoil you. Thatâs another thing he loves. After being in the role of the youngest, being a caretaker really isnât so bad. He lovessss loving on you. Please let him, he wonât let you down.
As long as youâre the subject, by all meansâ heâll tend to you any day of the week.Â
AHH!! Oh my gosh I absolutely LOVED your rise Donnie and Raphael headcanons about reader on their period! I really would love to see a version of those with rise Leo too if that wouldnât be too much to ask!
That Time of the Month: Rise! Leo & Mikey Headcanons (pt.2)
đ i've had a few people request this! this is for you guys :) xoxo
tags: rottmnt, x reader, leo, mikey, headcanons, pre-established relationship, request, fluff, comfort, fem reader/reader who has a period
synopsis: it's that time of the month again. your cramps are worse than ever, and you want nothing more than to curl up in a hole and to just stay there forever. your lovely turtle boyfriend helps you through it đ
Leo đ«
Leo was often deemed the âmedicâ of the team. Heâs very (unexpectedly, to say the least) well-versed in aiding injuries of all kinds.Â
That being said, he had no idea what to do the first time you mentioned having a âperiod.â
âMi corazon, wait, stopâ what do I do? Just tell me what to do, what do you need?! You said youâre bleeding, I have band-aids! Show me the wound!â He holds up a freakishly large bandage.
He was very proud to be able to help you! To try, at least! Band-aids fix everything, right? God, just tell him where it hurts!!! Heâll fix it!!!
You stare at him. A blank stare until you become forced to spit out the real situation.
â...Iâm sorry, youâre bleeding out of your WHAT?!â
He was corralling so much shit in his hands the first time this happened. Youâd only bled through your sweatpantsâ he had a whole medkit in his arms, some gauze, some bandages, even some hydrogen peroxide.Â
You told him there was blood on your clothing. He thought youâd somehow managed a bad cut on your rear end.Â
It took a lot of explaining to get him to understand that this time of the month was a natural thing for someone who possessed female biology. He was a turtle, though, you canât really expect much from someone who spent half his life in the sewers. April may have mentioned something here and there, but, hey. His expertise was in battle wounds, thank you very much!Â
Leo claims that he is âwounded, cariña, by your assumptions of his knowledge surrounding the female body.â Heâs shaming himself he didnât know more initially, but that statement was just his way of deterring your judgement.
Fast-forward a few months. Years, if you see fit.Â
He likes seeing you all pissed and in a mood because of the pain. Sure, he feels badâ yes, he helps you out, still-Â but he does mess with you more than he does on a regular day.
He holds onto the freshly washed pants that just came out of the dryer because he likes seeing you all comfy and cozy in an extra pair of his own pants, for one.Â
âLeo. Give. Me. My. Pants.â You spit through your teeth. Youâre angry, holding a heated rice sock to your stomach.Â
"Aww, what a shame. You sure? You look so cute in blue," he teases, holding the pants just out of reach as you swipe for them. With a wink and a chuckle, he finally tosses them your way and climbs into bed beside you.Â
Heâll take his thumbs (or, one of his three fingers) and slowly knead at your hips. Your waist. Your stomach, if itâs well enough to take a massage at the moment.Â
Slowly slipping his hands under the waistband of yourâ well, his pantsâ he massages a little lower, trying his best to comfort you.Â
âLeoââ
âRelax, mi vida. âm just massaging. Iâm not doing anything.â He presses a kiss to your temple.Â
His room is surprisingly comforting for a train car. Leo has taken the time to set up some string lights, delicately casting a nice, warm glow throughout his room. Heâs got comics splattered here and there that you two read sometimes. For someone so chaotic, his room was certainly a contrasting space.Â
You groan as Leoâs fingers press into the sore muscles of your lower back, the pressure just shy of painful, but quite literally, just what you needed.Â
He leans in close. His lips are just barely brushing your ear, and he comes to speaks in a low, gentle murmur. Heâs especially careful, conscious that even his voice might hurt you right now. (After some research, he found that headaches were often a common occurrence with menstruation!)Â
"Couldâve told me you were cramping worse than usual today, preciosa." He whispers out, continuing his light attack of kisses.
You huff, burying your face deeper into his pillow. "Didnât wanna hear the 'I told you so' about skipping painkillers yesterday," you mutter.
âI would not say I told you so! How dare you think that of me.â The red slider forces a fake, wounded scoff from the back of his throat.
âAre you joking?âÂ
âIâve never joked a day in my life. Swear it on my ancestors.â Now heâs got that stupid smirk on his face.Â
Good God, he is insufferable.Â
Leo leans over and grabs some sort of foiled material from his nightstand; after he leans back over, you discover that itâs a pill packet! Ibuprofen, midol, the sorts.Â
âHere, drink up. No I told you soâs, I promise.â He hands you a water bottle youâve been holding onto for a while, now. âNeed me to warm up the sock again? Get you some chocolate? Pizza from Huesoâs? He loves me. We can get pizza for free. Oh, or, teleport us both to Tahiti? âCause I can definitely teleport us to Tahiti. Iâm your man.âÂ
Leo had gotten fairly mature since the Kraang incident. You have to give him points for keeping his sense of humor. It was stupid, really. But it was him. And you loved it.Â
A warm chuckle came from your lips; something Leo had been internally BEGGING to hear all day. Thank God! She laughs! What a miracle!
âPizza is fine, babe. Maybe some chocolate, too?â With those eyes of yours, he couldnât deny. Leo smiles and squeezes your shoulder as he gets up to grab his swords to annoy the absolute shit out of Hueso on your behalf.Â
Itâs a few minutes later, and unfortunately, youâre back to laughing your ass off.Â
Hueso wants nothing to do with Leo; heâs shoved him out of the shop! You got a great view of an argumentative Leo as he was then shoved out of his own portal from Huesoâs restaurant and back into his bedroom.
âSenor Hueso, Iâve bought enough pizza to put your son through bone college, and yet you still canât sacrifice one pineapple pizza? Oh, come on, donât be like tha-!â
His portal shuts with a zoot sound. Leo spun around to face you.Â
âSorry, mi vida. No pizza tonight. Huesoâs not cooperating, you saw, right?â
He sighs, dramatically collapsing onto the bed next to you, his plastron making a soft thud against the mattress. "He's lost it, I tell you. No vision. No appreciation for New Yorkâs finest heroes. He may have New Yorkâs finest pizza, but no appreciation for us. Tsk. He's missing out. I almost feel bad for him, y'know?"
Slowly, he drags a king-sized chocolate bar out of his belt.Â
âBut I did snag this. I know, I knowâ Iâm the greatest, hold your applause.âÂ
You snatch the chocolate bar from his hand with a groan, tearing the wrapper open with your teeth. "You're lucky I love you," you mumble around a mouthful of caramel-filled goodness.Â
Leo watches you with that stupid expression of his. Yeah, heâd fight off any amount of spanish speaking, pizzeria-owning skeletons named 'Hueso' for you, even if it was just for a chocolate bar.Â
You really are some miracle he can't believe he gets to touch.
Mikey đ
Typically, when you waltz your way into the lair, it takes less than 5 seconds for a certain box turtle to materialize from thin air and give you the world's tightest hug. Usually, that comes along with an âomigosh, (y/n), youâre heeeere!â Along with a spin and a kiss. Mikeyâs a little short, so he has to tiptoe to reach your lipsâ but he never forgets.
But there was no spin and a hug this time. Halfway through his âomigosh,â Mikey paused; an uncharacteristically concerned look appeared on his characteristically enthusiastic face.
âAngel? You look⊠a little out of it. You doing okay? Can I get you anything?â He chirps.
You leaned into the doorway, pressing a hand against your lower stomach with a wince. "Hey, sweetheart" you murmured, forcing a smile. "Just... not my best day. Cramping a little. Iâll be okay."Â
Mikey's eyes widened with genuine concern. He took your free hand, guiding your fingers to his lips for a soft kiss before intertwining them with his own.Â
âYou wanna go take a bath? Shower? Itâs late, anyway. I bet youâve had a long day.â With a smile and a nod, you follow your favorite (and only) boyfriend to his room.Â
Thankfully, the bathroom was right next to his section of the lair. He was the youngest; and, by unwritten rules, didnât get a bathroom in his room. Raph and Donnie did. Raph, by rule of âoldest gets it first,â and Donnie because, well, he built it himself. Leo and Mikey simply ran out of luck. So; Mikey picked a room that was closest to the shared bathroom.Â
Immediately, Mikey began prepping to help you bathe like it was the only thing that ever mattered to him.Â
He had bottles of your favorite soap stored away. He had just finished washing and drying the fluffiest towels he owned. He had warm water already running in the tub.Â
And⊠he watched as you slowly entered the bathroom without him.Â
Mikey kind of just⊠stood there. Watched you. Happily.Â
âAre you coming in, babe?â You asked him, softly. Tilting your head.Â
âOh! Yes. Sorry. I didnât know if you wanted the help or not. But Iâm glad to help, always!â He chirped.Â
The heavy bathroom door clicked shut, and the distant, ambient chatter of the other brotherâs in the lair just sort of faded away. No more rambunctious Leo, endless sarcasm from Donnie, or watchfulness from Raph. Just peace and VERY much needed quiet.
Inside, it was already warm. The air was thick with steam and that steam was laced with the scent of your soap that Mikey had stashed away for safe keeping.Â
"Okay," he murmured, using his three-fingered hand to wipe your lightly wetted hair out of your face. "Step one of making you feel nice and clean again. Iâm gonna wash your hair, alright?âÂ
He slid past you, his orange mask tails brushing against your arm, and knelt down by the tub. Mikey dipped his hand into the rushing water, swirling it around to check the heat. He took his time with it, making sure it was exactly right. Just for you, all for you.
"Lean back for me, sunshine."
You let your head rest against the smooth, curved rim of the porcelain. Mikey picked up the detachable showerhead, adjusting the pressure until it was a gentle, steady stream, testing it against the back of his own wrist first. When the warm water started soaking through your hair, you let out a quiet groan, closing your eyes.
His fingers were big, but he was incredibly deft with them. He worked a dollop of your shampoo into his palms, then buried his fingers into your hair. He started massaging your scalp in slow, heavy circles, working from the top down to the tense muscles at the base of your neck. He knew exactly where the tension gathered when you were in pain.
GOD. Mikey was incredible at this, words couldnât even be formed to explain it! It almost lulled you to sleep, this sensation. Could it get any better?Â
No. But it could, unfortunately, get worse!
A sudden, familiar feeling broke through the warmth of the bath. A heavy and distinct trickle down your inner thigh.
With your eyes snapping open immediately, your body went rigid. Frozen despite the oh-so-warm waters.Â
"Hey, hey," your boyfriend murmured, his voice dropping a lower register. âYou went all rigid on me there. You alright? Did a bad cramp hit?"
You bit your lip, looking down at the soapy water, unable to meet his eyes for a second. "I... Mikey, I think I bled a little. Outside the tub. On my leg. Iâm so sorry, I didn't mean to make a mess in hereâŠ!" Tearsâ they begin to form under your tired eyes.
Mikey let out a soft, breathy huffânot of annoyance, but a gentle, reassuring little sound. He reached down, his thumb lightly catching your chin to guide your face back up to him.
"Oh, sunshine, look at me. You do not apologize for that, ever." he said, his expression incredibly tender. "Your body is just doing its thing, and itâs hurting you enough already. You think a little blood scares me? Please, I make my enemies bleed every day! Itâs normal, weâre all good! He paused, a light sigh soon to follow.Â
âThat was a lie. I just beat them up, no blood. Usually.â He gave you a small smile, his thumb brushing your cheek. "Can I help you clean it up? Only if you want me to, promise. I wonât if you donât want me to. All you gotta do is tell me.â
The absolute safety in his face made the knot in your chest loosen just a bit. You swallowed hard and nodded softly. "Yeah. Please. That... would be really nice."
"You got it," he whispered with a wink.
Heâs gentle. Oh, so very gentle as he takes a washcloth and rubs it up and down your legs.Â
There wasn't a single ounce of judgment or hesitation in him. After a few strokes, he rinsed the cloth out in the sink, completely unbothered; Mikey sets the rag on the sink and turns back to face you.Â
"All clean, angel. See? No harm done," he murmured. He leaned inward, pressing a sweet, lingering kiss to your knee, then up to your wet fingers. "Now, how about we finish rinsing that shampoo out so I can get you into some warm pajamas and tucked into bed?
â°â„ïž âź
i'm debating over whether or not to tag those on my tag list in the millions of requests i've gotten. i 100% will for longer, original works, i get that's the point of a tag list in general, but if you have a preference on being tagged or not for requests, let me know lmao đ i've never actually done a tag list before. please forgive my lack of knowledge
if you're looking for raph and donnie's part, click here <3
đ my goodness, has it been a long week. i felt it was the perfect time to get these done đ«¶ i originally intended to release all four parts today, but my very misleading mind thought i had enough time to write all four in one day. so, without further ado, here's our honor boy. other parts soon to follow xoxo
requests are open! <3
tags: bayverse, request, pre-established relationship, angst w/ comfort, fluff, leo gives you a much-needed massage
synopsis: you're frustrated. life has become far too much, and you've never been one to let emotions show. in the hardest of times, leo helps you realize that it's okay to feel vulnerable.
â°â„ïž âź
There wasnât a lot that made you tick.Â
But youâd been angry on Tuesday. Tuesday, the second most grueling day of the week, when your manager had shifted numerous amounts of extra work onto you without asking.
You were irritated on Wednesday, when traffic delayed you from heading to work. Heading to see your family. To top it off, someone hit your car on the drive homeâand drove off, leaving you with no way to get their information.
Thursday wasnât much different. Everyone around youâfamily, friends, colleaguesâseemed to have their own demands, each one asking more than you could comfortably handle, knowing damn well how hard it was for you to say something as simple as âno.â
Friday was the worst. No time to think. Just emails, meetings, frustrated conversations. Even when you got home.
You just kept. Screwing. Up.
The only time you had to yourself was your lunch break⊠which was more than enough time to get in your head, replenishing every meticulous, degrading, negative thing youâve ever thought about yourself.Â
So, yes; this week has given you fair reasoning to lose it. To want to hide away forever, do nothing. Bury your face in a pillow and retreat into a dark hole that was your mental mancave. Hell, you werenât even someone who snapped easily. You didnât complain much. You were the dependable one. The one people leaned on!
But dependable people get tired, too. Thatâs something youâve learned quite thoroughly, these past few months.
â°â„ïž âź
Two A.M.
Thatâs when you thought it was a smart idea to go down to visit the lair.Â
Well, it didnât matter if it was a smart idea or not. Youâd already texted and asked for permission. All four of the brothers had said they couldnât care less: matter of fact, your company was appreciated!Â
Leo had politely added that he would never mind. The two of you were together, anyways, why would he?
It was one of those nights, again. Foggy outside. Humid. Not the best kind of weather. You could barely see ten feet ahead as you walked, hands tucked into your sleeves against the damp chill. Turning to find the manhole cover, you gently slipped your condensation-coated fingers under the lid; bracing yourself before lifting the ingrained metal object.
As you opened the sewer cover and let it fall back into place with sheer force, that same foggy blue light would ripple in through the holes in the lid, lightly (almost ghostly) illuminating the pre-navigated labyrinth you were about to step into.Â
Steam drifted lazily along the floor below, thick enough to swallow your shoes the second you stepped off the ladder. White mist clouded around your feet.Â
You exhaled slowly, trying to seep the tension out through your lungs, but it stayed exactly where it wasâ trapped beneath your skin. Your jaw had tightened somewhere along the way, and you only noticed when your teeth ached faintly from the pressure. You forced them apart. Rolled your shoulders back. The motion did nothing.
You knew the twists and turns to enter the lair by heart. Your heart began to ache as your senses recognized you nearing the main entrance of their homeâ did you really want to burden him with this, at this hour?Â
Yes.
Although, your arrival argued otherwise.
You thought about it for a moment. You watched silently as Leo would train with his swords; gracefully clashing them against the mock foot soldier the boys collectively had lying around the lair.Â
Youâd watched him train before, but it always caught you off guard â the way someone so solid could move with such fluid control. Thatâs who Leo was. Calm, controlled, contained. The katanas became extensions of him, the edges of his silver weapon glinting softly as they traced smooth, intentional patterns through the air. Each turn of his was balanced, each strike restrained just before the point of excess, as though he were seeing false hallucinations of his opponents in the dark air. The tunnels were quiet save for the gentle swish of steel and the faint drip of water that came from the sloshing of your feet.
Judging from how long youâve been staring, it seems he hasnât noticed you yet. His expression was calm but intent, blue eyes focused and distant, completely absorbed in the rhythm of the form.
You leaned against the wall, letting the rhythmic sounds of his practice soothe your frayed nerves just slightly. Watched as he completed a complex sequence, ending with both katanas crossed defensively before his face, chest rising and falling with controlled breaths. Then those blue eyes opened fully, immediately finding yours in the shadows.
"Oh, hey. Look what the cat dragged in," Leo nodded, calm and collected. He gathered both swords in one hand and motioned you over to him. "Come here, sweetheart."
You pushed off the wall, your steps soft against the concrete as you approached. The air between you still held the heat from his exertion, faint and damp against your skin. "Why are you training so late?" You breathed, leaning your head into his plastron. Leo softly, but gently, ran his three-fingered hand through your hair.Â
"Donnie and Mikey are out on patrol tonight. Raphâs somewhere, not here. Heâs an adult, though. Iâm sure he can handle himself." He pressed a kiss to your forehead. It lasted a few seconds; something you, admittedly, needed. He could tell.Â
"Dadâs sleeping. Which, you, my love, should be doing right now. Whatâs going on?" The turtle whispered. He tilted your chin up to face him. "Bad week?"
You managed a half-smile, reaching out to trail your fingers along his forearm, feeling the firm muscles beneath. "Something like that."
Leo hummed quietly, turning to face another training dummy. "I figured. You seemed a little off these past few days."
Your shoulders slumped slightly at his observation. "Is it that obvious?"
"Only to me, honey." He paused mid-sequence, unsheathing only one of his weapons, gesturing with one blade. "Here. Hold this."
He passed you his practice katana (he never used his real ones during training), the handle warm from his grip. The sword had been flipped upside downâthe equivalent of how youâd hand someone a pair of scissors by the blade. Your fingers closed around the hilt. The tilt of your head amused Leo; he smiled lightly and began to move.
"Just like this," he murmured. He had taken a few steps and now stood behind you, his larger frame encompassing yours as he positioned your hands on the hilt. You watched Leo's green hands fold over your own. "Just let me lead you. It might help with all that stress you keep in your head."
His movements were slow and precise, giving you time to mirror them. No corrections came, not a single word of advice about your form. When you stumbled slightly on a turn, his hand found the small of your back, steadying you without comment. Leo softly adjusted your stance.Â
"Better," he said simply, his voice low and close to your ear. "Much better."
After several minutes, he took the sword from your hands, sheathing the remaining katana with practiced ease. His hands found your shoulders, thumbs pressing into the tight muscles there.
"Turn around," he commanded softly. He took your waist, gently easing the both of you down onto the floor.Â
It wasnât cold, in lieu of the many training mats that had been sprawled out on the concrete ground. Leo laid his shell against the brick wall, physically forcing you to follow suit, your own back leaning against his plastron. Well, for the most part.Â
Leo's handsâlarge, calloused from trainingâfound the tension points on your shoulders with immediate accuracy, even through the thin fabric of your shirt. His thumbs rotated slowly, methodically, easing the knots that had been gathering there all week.
âIâm not exactly a professional,â he hummed softly, âbut I think youâve been carrying just a bit too much this past week.âÂ
You didnât respond; he didn't need you to. One hand pressed into your left shoulder blade, the other moved along the right, moving in slow, even strokes, easing the tightness inch by inch.
He stayed with the motion, kneading gently at the tight muscles near your spine, then letting his hands drift up again to your shoulders, applying a steady, reassuring pressure. Has he done this before? Your chest unclenched just a little. Your jaw loosened. Even your fingers relaxed from the unconscious curl they had held all day.
His fingers worked their way up your neck, finding a particularly stubborn spot just below your hairline that made you groan softly. Leo chuckled at the sound. âThereee it is,â he murmured, applying gentle, steady force until the muscle finally gave way.
"Any better?" he questioned against your hair, his voice a low vibration against your head.
âMhm," you admitted, the single word sounding slightly strained from the effort of relaxing.
He continued for a few moments more, working his way from your shoulders up the sides of your neck, his fingers trailing lightly over your jawline.
âSo⊠would you like to tell me about the week youâve had? Or not. We donât have to talk about it if you donât want to,â Leo mumbled in your neck. While he continued to massage your back, or just lightly scratch it, he kept his face buried in your hair and skin, churringâ it was a guilty pleasure of his. He liked the way your shampoo and conditioner smelled. Or maybe it was just you. He didnât care that much. Â
You took a sigh before responding. âIâm just⊠frustrated.â The words came out as a stutter rather than a full explanation. You had to stop; your voice cracked, simply upon the expression of an emotion. You hated giving reasoning as to how you felt. It felt as if there was always a needâ no, a requirementâ to provide an explanation for why you felt the way you did.Â
Maybe it was because you didnât act this way. Not ever. Not around other people. You were supposed to be calm. Composed. The friend who helped everyone elseânot the one who needed helping.
This was a vulnerability. God, how you hated it.Â
Leo still nodded, providing a sense of validation.Â
Validation was better than vulnerability.Â
âFrustrated with what, my love?â He whispered, dragging his fingers up your spine.
âEverything.â The answer came out of you, quicker than you would have liked. âWork. Family. Friends. Thereâs so much to do. So much to get done, so much to promise people. So many ways I have to stay composed around everyone I meet. So many people I have to console. I donât know how to handle myself anymore.âÂ
The words broke Leo, despite them being the truth. Even with the emotional impact of his higher empathic abilities; your truth was all he asked for. But the way you delivered it⊠it was so broken. Weak.
â(Y/n)âŠâ Leo exhaled. âYou donât have to stay composed all the time. You donât have to be the perfect friend. The perfect employee. You donât have to be perfect.â
âYes, I do.â You immediately protested. âIf Iâm not perfect, I feel useless. I canât be useless, Leo.â
That caught him off guard. That was the one thing he didn't expect to hear. Useless?
His hands stopped their movements. For a moment, they just rested there, warm against your back. He let the silence settle, the only sounds being the distant dripping of water and the soft rush of wind through the tunnels. âWho told you that?â he asked, his voice dangerously quiet.
Your turn to be quiet. âNobody. I just⊠donât like who Iâve been this week.â A pause. âAnd that is⊠what my mind tells me. When I feel being a let down is all I'm able to do for days on end.âÂ
You knew it was wrong. What you felt couldnât really be put into words; youâd feel this emotion again sometime soon. But it passed. It always passed. Even you, sober from the negative mentality that resulted from frustration, knew that you werenât a let downâ but, with everything you gave, it still felt impossible not to feel like one.Â
He didn't say anything to that. He just resumed his massage, his touch slower, deeper than before. Each press of his thumbs, each slide of his fingers pushing into your skin felt like a wordless argument against what youâd just said.
âYouâre not useless, beautiful,â he finally whispered into your ear, the words firm and sure. âBeing human means being messy sometimes. Being overwhelmed. Wanting to hide. I know that better than anyone. None of that makes you any less perfect to me.â
There were tears forming in your eyesâbut you didnât dare let them flow. "You're who I worry about the most," you mumble.
"What's that?" Leo leaned in, head tilting. What did you mean?
"You are ten times who I'll ever be, Leo. I don't know why you'd want to end up with someone too tiny and useless to you like myself. Hell, I interrupted your training earlier. That's what you should be doing right now, not consoling my emotional ass," you groan.
His fingers dug gently into a particularly tight spot near your spine, eliciting a small hiss of relief from you. "I saw you leaning on the wall outside for almost five minutes. You were analyzing my movements, but I could tell you were also analyzing whether or not you were 'allowed' to come in and disrupt my practice," he noted, ever observant. "You don't disrupt me, love. I need you here. You remind me that there's something outside of the tunnels and that Iâm not the sewer-dweller I make myself out to be." He pressed another kiss to your cheek. "(Y/N)âI say this with sincerityâI don't know how to work it into your stubborn mind that I love you more than life itself."
He shifted slightly, adjusting your weight against him until you were settled more comfortably. His hands moved from your back to your sides, pulling you just a fraction closer. The warmth of your own body melted into the cool scales of his own.
He could tell you were tired. He'd take you to bed, after this. He brushed some of your hair out of your sleepy eyes.Â
"Remember the night you found me in the dojo after the whole Shredder incident, a few years ago?" he asked, his voice low and serious. "Just sitting on the floor, staring at my swords. Convinced I'd failed everyone? Terrified that I'd allowed Dad to die?"
You nodded against his plastron. "You said you felt like youâd led your family into a trap." You turned your head slightly, meeting his eyes. âLike youâd failed as a brother.â
"And you sat with me for two hours, even though it was days after we saved everyone." Leo continued, his thumb tracing circles on your hip. "You didn't say much. Just sat there. You didn't try to fix me or tell me I was wrong. You just⊠stayed. That's what you do, sweetheart. You stay. You listened. That was everything to me."
His hands found yours, fingers lacing together as he rested your joined hands in your lap. The size difference was starkâhis three-fingered hands completely enveloping yoursâbut the fit felt right, like two puzzle pieces clicking into place. "And it's also, not that you'd care or anything-- the moment I knew I loved you." You didn't have to turn your head again to know he was smirking.
"Of course I'd care about that." Still a little stubborn, but more gentle, this time.Â
"Yeah, I know. Just teasing." He pulls you closer. The turtle's voice drops to a whisper.
"Your mind lies to you sometimes," he murmured once more against your hair. "It tells you these awful things about yourself because you've been taught to measure your worth by how much you do for others. But I need you to hear me when I say this: your worth is not tied to your productivity. You're not a machine whose sole purpose is to function for others. You're a person. A beautiful, caring, overwhelmingly thoughtful person who forgets to save some of that thoughtfulness for herself."
A tear escaped then, tracing a path down your cheek. You hadn't given permission for it to fall, but there it was, warm and wet. Before you could wipe it away, Leo's thumb was there, gently brushing it off.
"I know that." Softly, quietly, you exhale the words.Â
"Do you?"Â
"Mm. Maybe not."
"Then I'll keep reminding you," he promised, his fingers finding the knots in your shoulders again. "Every day if I have to. Until you start believing it too."
You made a soft sound against his plastronâsomething between a laugh and a sob. "That's a lot of days."
"I've got time." His massage tapered off, his hands settling warm and heavy on your back, a comforting weight. He leaned his head against yours, sighing contentedly.Â
"Letâs get you to bed, love," he suggested, voice thick with sleepiness. "Itâs been a long week. You deserve to rest."
He gently maneuvered you both up from the floor, keeping one arm cradled securely around your waist. You leaned into his side, allowing him to take your weight as you stumbled slightly, fatigue heavy in your limbs. The world felt muffled, the tunnels quiet and peaceful compared to the storm in your mind earlier.Â
The moment you crossed the threshold into his room, you felt the weight of the week lift entirely. His room was simple but comforting: a mattress piled high with blankets, a few bonsai trees, full pothos plants, and the soothing, almost eucalyptus scent that was just pure Leo.
He helped you peel off your slightly damp outer layer, tossing it onto a chair. Then, with an easy strength, he lifted you onto the bed, tucking you expertly beneath the heavy comforter.
Leo followed, settling in beside you. He didn't turn away to sleep; instead, he pulled you against his plastron, securing you in the familiar curve of his body. Your head found the perfect spot nestled beneath his chin, his arm a secure band around your middle.
âGet some sleep, sweetheart,â he breathed, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of your head. His fingers traced slow, absentminded patterns beneath your eyes, coaxing them closed without actually askingâ sneaky turtle. âIâll be here when you wake up.â
You didnât need to be told twice. Surrounded by his warmth, you let go completely.
The last thing you registered was the gentle, hypnotic scratch of his claws against the back of your scalpâa gesture that was forever reserved only for you.Â
Yours, and yours alone.
â°â„ïž âź
other parts soon to come: links will update as they release <3