#sydneysfluffywrites

Tony had texted you earlier that morning, saying that you and Barnes could have the day off since everything was going smoothly at the Avenger's tower. You immediately bolted to Bucky's apartment down the hall and started stamping on his door. 

"Bucky Barnes! Wake up!"

When his sleepy face appeared in the crack of the door, you smiled. 

"Hey, doll." He mumbled, looking rather shaken from his evident sleep. "Whats wrong?"

"I wanna go outside. We have the day off." You showed him your phone which displayed Tony's text. Bucky rubbed his eyes and looked at your phone before looking back at you. "Baby, it's 20 degrees outside."

"So? C'mon, there's a reason you have a jacket!" You pouted, taking your phone back. "I wanna build a snowman!"

"Right now?"

"Yes, Bucky. Right now."

"Oookay. Lemme wake up first."

"Dress warm!" You called before he shut the door and bolted back to your apartment. You wolfed down a bowl of baked oatmeal before making one for Bucky when he got there. Your baked oatmeal was crunchy and creamy, not that mess of tasteless glop normal oatmeal was. Plus your threw in some brown sugar on top of it before you warmed it up. 

After eating you hurried to layer up, a next-to-skin shirt, your thermal leggings, a cotton t-shirt, a pair of jeans, your wool socks, your combat boots(compliments of Bucky) and your white jacket with black gloves. You were tugging on your hat just as Bucky knocked on the front door.

"It's open, Bucky!" You called as you started to lace up your boots. 

He walked in and leaned against the doorway, his hands shoved into his pockets. "You look warm enough to snuggle with."

"Hey, patience, soldier." You stood up, smiling. "You'll get some later. I got you some oatmeal." You squeezed by him, grabbed the bowl and set it in the microwave.

"Thanks, doll." He rested his chin in his hand as he sat on the counter, watching you move through the kitchen with fluid steps. "You're cute." 

You touched your face, sure that your blush could be seen a mile away. You spun around, trying not to look flustered p, but you evidently failed when he broke into a grin.

The microwave stopped you from making a remark as you set his breakfast in front of him. "Eat before I say something silly."

"Yes, ma'am."

He finished off his oatmeal, watching the entire time. "I still think you're cute."

"James Buchanan Barnes." You couldn't hide your smile as you crossed your arms. "Flattery will gain you nothing."

He stuck his tongue out which made you hide your face again. A giggle erupting from your core.

"James!"

"What??" He slid off the bar stool and put his bowl in the dishwasher. "Now are you going to show me how to make a snowman or not?"

You straightened up, fixing your collar and before you knew it, you were both downstairs making a snowball apiece to see how far you could throw it. 

"Ready?" You raised your eyebrows, your competitive spirit rising. 

"Anytime you are," Bucky returned the glance before gazing out over the white blanket that hid the trees that peppered the courtyard. Oscar and the old man were back inside already, but there was a number of younger kids and their parents playing in the snow. Apparently they had decided to make one giant snowman, and they had made pretty good progress so far, with a massive ball on the bottom, about four feet high.

"We'd better throw over in that direction," you pointed to your right, toward a less populated area in the courtyard. 

"Good idea." Bucky nodded. "Wouldn't want to get pelted in the back of the head by the Winter Soldier."

"Noooooooo." You tried to sound serious, but you both knew you weren't fooling the other.

"And no using the metal arm either."

"You know I can't throw left-handed." 

"Just a precaution." You closed your eyes as you finished rounding off your snowball. 

Bucky said nothing but shook his head, you were glad he hadn't cut his hair before winter set in. You had to convince him to wait til spring to do so. 

"Okay, if we get it past the fountain."

"Five dollars says you don't." He grinned at you. 

"Deal." You returned the grin. "After you, good sir."

Bucky made a show of looking like a baseball pitcher, the frown, the look of concentration, everything. You snickered before he let the snowball loose. It sailed over the courtyard and burst into powder against the light post next to the brick wall.

"Impressive." You smiled as he backed up. "But I know better than to compete with that."

"There's still five bucks on the line."

"Yes, yes, yes," you stepped forward, weighing the ball in your hands. You looked outward and hurdled the ball over the fountain, but it barely made it ten feet past it before it fell into the blanket of snow.

"You owe me five dollars, you swindler." You spun around to face Bucky, his eyes rolling back into his head, and his arms crossed.

"Whatever. Okay, so I was wrong."

"C'mon." You smiled tugging his arm into the snow. You were so glad for the boots he had got you, they were definitely keeping your feet dry and warm. You let him go and flopped into the bank of snow, the top layer fluffing up and the next layer making you grunt as it was harder than you thought. But you didn't care. You giggled as you pushed yourself up, but Bucky wasn't beside you. You looked around and spotted his dark figure holding a small child up as they put the orange nose on their rather tall snowman. When they stuck it in firmly, they clapped and cheered, turning to see Bucky's reaction. He made a gasping noise and set them down, making sure they were steady on the lumpy snow.

"Thank you!" They said in an enunciated voice as they waddled away. Bucky straightened up and walked back to you. 

"Are you comfy?" He bent over you, his hands shoved into his pockets. 

"Mmm, if you were down here too, just maybe." You tried to look innocent. 

"But it's cold down there."

You muffled your laugh with your mittens, completely sure your cheeks were red. 

"C'mon," Bucky laughed and hauled you to your feet. "Build me a snowman."

"On it, sir." You began to ball together a large lump of snow, patting the looser parts into place. 

You rounded it to around two feet tall, making sure it was solid before rolling another ball from the snow. 

"Sit on that." You pointed to the second ball. 

"What?" Bucky tilted his head. 

"You heard me, soldier, sit on it, please." You repeated with a grin.

"Yes, boss." He smarted, lowering himself onto the snow, resting his chin on his hand which was propped up on his elbow. "Now what?"

"Now get off."

"Whats all this on off stuff??"

"I had to compact the snow, how would you do it?" You shrugged, finishing off the ball and picking it up to place on the bottom ball. 

"Touché." He shrugged.

"Almost done. Ah, shoot!" You slapped your hands on your sides, shaking snow off.

"Whats wrong?"

"I didn't think about the eyes and the nose..." 

"Don't move-" he tapped your arm before disappearing across the courtyard, bending over a bed of rocks that the kids had dug up from under the snow. 

"Haha!" He returned victoriously, holding up two rocks about the same size. "For you." 

"Thank you, Bucky." You reached up and pecked him on the cheek, but you could see his cheeks flush red before you turned and began to make the top ball, or the head. "How about you hang onto those? Wouldn't want them to run off."

"Noooooo," he imitated you, pocketing the rocks.

Ugh, why did he have to be so sweet? You laughed inwardly, gingerly picking up the top ball and setting it on the center of the middle ball. 

"Tada," you stood back, admiring your work. "Now, you put the eyes in."

Bucky looked at the rocks in his metal hand and held them out to you. 

"No, no, you can do it. You're helping me." You smiled, shoving your mittened hands into your pockets. 

"Okay," Bucky shrugged and popped the rocks into the snow, shoving them just far enough to secure them. 

"Now, the nose...." you muttered, looking around. "It's not a reasonable snowman without a carrot nose.."

"I can't pull a carrot out of thin air." 

"Dang it."

"Shhh, Steve can hear a flea swear."

You snickered, the image of Captain America screaming through a magnifying glass, "LANGUAGE!" appearing in your head. 

You and Bucky looked around, you knew you didn't have a carrot in your apartment, and neither were you about to walk four blocks to the grocery store just for one carrot-

You were about to give up, but the small child Bucky held earlier was tapping on his pant leg. He looked down and crouched to the child's level.

"Yes?"

"Here." They held out a tiny carrot, a small bite taken out of the end. "Snowman needs nose."

"He obviously does." Bucky nodded. "Do you want to put it up there?"

"Uh-huh." 

"Okay, here we go." He picked them up again, carrying them gingerly to the snowman and made a booking noise when they poked the carrot into the snow. 

"Tada!" He looked at the little boy.

"Ta- da!" He tried, enunciating more and looking to you for approval.

"I love it!" You smiled, clapping.

Bucky set the boy down and let him wander back to his family. 

You watched as he did, snuggling up to him. "You're too sweet."

"What?" Bucky looked down at your when you looped your arm through his. 

"I said you're too sweet."

"I think your hallucinating." He smirked.

You shook your head, looking back to the snowman. "He's a little lopsided, but he'll do."

"And I'll bet you'll watch him when the snows melts and just wave goodbye." 

"I just might do that!" You laughed. "It'll be like loosing a family member!"

Bucky just rolled his eyes, but the grin on his face indicated his amusement.

You stifled your yawn for the fifth time as you and Bucky walked through the lit street, the Christmas lights had been up for a few weeks now, but you hadn't been able to really enjoy them. Missions and SHIELD business, all that junk.

Bucky seemed to be mesmerized but the display, his eyes scanning everything he could take in. A smile grazing his lips every time he glanced at you.

"You like it, Bucky?" You held his metal hand, knowing it was probably cold from the extended time in the cold. Not that he complained. 

"It's gorgeous. But you outdo it all."

"Aww..thank you." You ducked, hiding your blush. "You just looked so far away."

"It's been a long time since I've seen Christmas." He rumbled, your boots crunching over the snow. 

"Mm, do you remember it?"

"Vaguely. Just the feeling, I guess. The smells, some of the tastes, nothing more."

"Did you guys have a tree in Brooklyn when you were growing up?"

"I..think so? I'm not sure if we did or not."

"That's okay," you assured, squeezing his hand. "I have a tree."

"I'd like that," he smiled at the ground. 

You smiled as you both paused at a window, the glass was a little foggy but inside was one of those ceramic villages decorated like an old town for Christmas. The train chugging around in a circle around the edge of the white cloth that was laid for snow on the side table. It was almost magical how nostalgic this was. 

You looked at Bucky who was utterly fascinated by the little houses and shops spread before him, the hand painted little details on the roofs, the tiny people in and out of the street. 

"I really like these little things," you commented. "They really just make Christmas the way it is."

"Look," he pointed through the glass, there was a small building with the Avenger's symbol on it, and on the outside were tiny figurines of the team, Stark, Thor, Cap, Natasha, even Banner and Clint were there. 

You and Bucky shared a glance and burst into a laugh. "We'd better not let them live this down."

"Oh, no, no." Bucky shook his head, his smile making your heart swell. To see him happy and smiling meant the world to you. "Not on your sweet life."

"At least they didn't include you, that would have been cruel and inhuman."

"What?? Hey, I have a key role in the team, young lady. What are you talking about?" He grinned, his tone playful. You snickered and bumped his shoulder as you kept walking down the street. You were glad he could take your mild banter, you used to have to walk on eggshells when it came to teasing. But it was one of your love languages, which he soon learned and even sassed back every once and a while. He had a sense of humor somewhere under that stone wall he had built around his mind. You just had to chip through with a little kindness and patience and simple human companionship.

 You felt his metal arm squeeze harder, the metal plates shifting down the forearm.

"You cold?" You slowed your pace and looked at him. 

"A little."

"You wanna go home? I'll make hot chocolate."

He seemed to turn your offer over. "Okay."

You smiled as you both turned around and began to head back to the apartment complex 

Apparently while you were both gone(and it probably happened the previous night, you just didn't notice) but your apartment building was showered in lights and a massive wreath hung where the building split into two parts.

"Oh, wow--' you breathed, awe overtaking you. You felt the chill as a warm tear traced it's way down your cheek. You hurriedly brushed it away, this was not a Hallmark movie for Pete's sake--

Bucky drew you closer to his side, his presence making it all the better. This was probably the first real Christmas he'd spent in his hometown. HYDRA wasn't on his back, Steve was here, no enemies(at the moment) and most importantly, he thought, he had you. He knew better than to ask since he probably knew the answe- 

"Can I stay over tonight?" He slowly asked.

"Of course, Bucky." You smiled. "You know I'd never turn you away."

He was silent all the way to your apartment. He was always quiet, but when he rarely spoke, he was going numb quickly. Had you dragged him outside and brought on past memories? Was he about to have a flashback...?

"James," you started as he shut the door behind you both after you walked inside the warm apartment. "I'm sorry if I made you remember things you don't want to remember, I know you don't really like the cold, and I don't blame you, but-"

"Shhh." He right hand came up and touched your chin, his finger barely coming in contact. "Baby, I'm okay. Honestly? If you hadn't been there the whole time, yeah, I might have gotten scared...and ran off. But I have you. You're my rock, you make everything better."

You could have sworn you melted right on the spot.

"I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't showed up." 

"Thank you, James." You smiled warmly, you hand coming up and grasping his. 

"Now about that hot cocoa."

"On it, Sergeant." You made a salute and strolled into the kitchen, turning the small radio you always kept on the counter to the AUX setting and plugged your phone it, starting the playlist you always had for soft moment or just background noise.

Bucky settled onto the bar stool and watched your movements as he always did, it was a habit he'd made after being 'assigned' to you. As the Soldier, he'd watch your movements carefully as you'd move around the kitchen while making your dinner and his. He inhaled the scent of cinnamon as you sprinkled a little into the mix before shaking up the bag and pouring it into the ceramic mugs that stood on the counter. You looked up and met Bucky's eyes, a smile breaking out on your face as he stuck his tongue out. 

"Would you stop, James? I look like a teenage girl when you do that."

"Do I look like I care?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh, what am I going to do with you." You sighed with a smile, leaning against the island while the water warmed on the stove behind you.

He smiled at you again, his gaze turning to the radio as an older song came on.

"You listen to 40's music??"

"Etta James is not 40's, Bucky."

"The song is." He slid off the stool and came around the island to your side. 

"What?" You looked up, his frame much taller than yours seemed to demand something. "You want to dance?"

He nodded, his metal hand finding your soft flesh one. "Uh-huh."

"Okay." You gently let him lead, his hand pulling your middle close to his, your feet practically on top of his as you both glided over the wooden floor of the kitchen, the song was low enough that you could hear Bucky's heartbeat through his shirt. It was fast as you guessed, yes the super-serum made his heart-rate higher than normal, but you were not a serum. You made his chest fly away when you touched him or even whispered his name.

"Bucky, the waters ready." You mumbled into his shirt, your warmth just now taking the biting pain rom his arm.

"But you're busy."

"Bucky." You knew better than to push away, but you reached over and turned off the burner before you boiled all the water away. 

When the song ended, you felt his kiss on your forehead, his hand fingering through your hair.

"I love you." His whisper nailed you to the floor. He'd never said that, not out loud at least.

"W-what?"

"I said I love you."

"I..I love you too, Bucky." You breathed. His fingers traveled to your neck, gingerly falling behind your hair and resting on the back of your neck. 

"I really don't know what I would do without you." He admitted, his eyes soft.

"I'm here, James. I'll always be here."

You felt his weight shift as he forced himself to pull away to let you get the warm drinks made, his eyes always following your movements. 

"I should have put the blanket in the dryer..." you mumbled as you carefully pouring the still-steaming liquid into the mugs, putting a spoon in each to stir.

"But I have my personal space-heater." You smiled at Bucky while you pushed his mug across the island to him. "Would you like marshmallows?"

"Please." He said softly. 

You poured three marshmallows in your own mug before plopping three in his mug.

"More?"

"More."

You dropped in three more. 

"Thank you." He shyly smiled, taking a long slow sip of the warm drink. His features brightened as he warmed, his left shoulder became less tense and his fingers seemed to tingle.

"You want to move to the couch?" You stirred your marshmallows into the drink so they dissolved.

He nodded, his tiredness showing through. He wasn't active today, but you could tell he didn't sleep long last night. The bags under his eyes were getting smaller each week, though.

You watched him very carefully lower himself onto your couch, his hand immediately finding the large blanket you always kept there. You smiled as he silently patted the cushion next to him, inviting you over, 

"I'm coming, soldier," you smiled. He did this a lot before he went to Wakanda. You never understood why the Soldier was so...docile toward you when he was so aggressive toward others. Was it something as small as your presence, was it your similar need for healing?

"Hey," he tugged on your sleeve, pulling you from your thoughts, "you look far away."

"Sorry, thinking again," you nestled against him, your legs tucked under the blanket as his hand found your hair again. Even though he had a need for other warmth, you could immediately feel his heat through your small space. 

"I love my space heater." You giggled, bumping the side of your head on him.

"Space heater, really??"

"Don't deny it, you're like a fire."

"Love you too, I guess." He smirked as he took another drink. You knew he was playing. You looked out the window to see the lights across the city. You felt safe and secure, like there wasn't a horrid world out there that would take your mind and your very being away. Maybe it was going to be okay.

As long as you had Bucky and he had you.

It was gonna be okay.

Thank you for reading! <3 ~ Sandy

Dividers by @strangergraphics, credit to @embbarnes for inspiration.