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It was supposed to be a one time thing, just a one time thing, but it began to turn into something more. The kiss that was a spur of the moment, turned into something else. The guilt of Emma's actions ate her away; it ate her alive, plagued her mind and never left. Not even for a single moment. It didn't let her rest.
And it hurt her because she loves you, not Draken, yet she kissed him and did everything she shouldn't have done.
It hurt because she saw you in that man, everything about him reminded her of you and because she was out of her mind in that moment, she pulled him down to her height and placed the lips that were reserved for you, on someone else's.
But only his lips didn't remind her of you. It was foreign and left an unpleasant feeling in her stomach, yet she continued further because she was craving for you. You, who has been away for the last couple of days. You, who didn't spare her more of your time because of work.
When you told her that your boss has been piling up work for you, she understood that you're going to be busy for a while and will have to deal with that wretched woman until your next income before you retire from that 9 to 5 job and finally do something about your [___] degree—to support the two of you with a stable and steady income, of course.
Yet, this one's taking longer than usual. You've been staying more in your office rather than at home, even your coworkers have noticed and notified her about it, saying she should scold you out of it because it's becoming worrying. However, nothing worked. And no, she didn't want to scold you, she normally would have but seeing you so stressed, she doesn't think it will work.
It has been weeks, and before you knew it, it turned into a month. You finally got your last paycheck and left the company. You were going to stay unemployed for a little while since it won't be a breeze to do something out of your degree, so you came home with a smile, happy that you were now able to spend all of your time with Emma.
However, that home reeked of something else.
Normally, coming back home always felt somehow like a picnic at a beach and smell like flowers, but you only felt dread and tired. Emma wasn't sitting in the living area like always to greet you, even if you weren't going to return the gesture. She always had a batch of fresh food and desserts to serve you but there were only cold dishes set on the table.
Were you gone for that long that she had started to drift for a while?
You kept your hopes up, strongly holding onto that hope that it will all go back to how it was and always will be now that you're out of that toxic company. You wanted to spend this first night of finally being free with Emma, maybe to watch a movie or go out on a stroll, but your plans weren't going to go through.
There was a different smell inside the room you shared with Emma. It smelled like always, but there was another hint to it. There was something else. There really was. You couldn't put a finger on it but it didn't feel right, it's as though you shouldn't know about it but you should, but if you do, it'll only ruin something.
Processing those feelings, an idea popped up but you pushed it to the back of your head.
Emma wouldn't do something like that, you thought.
You shook your head, put your bag down and stretched before heading inside the bathroom, only to see Emma inside. You immediately closed the door with a thumping heart and hot cheeks, before it opened once again.
You hear her chuckle, oh how nice it is to hear that again, "We're already married, what are you so shy about?" She began to change into her night clothes before turning to you. You were going to speak but you noticed the red surrounding her eyes, "Were you crying?" you asked,
She couldn't answer, well, she didn't answer. You only wrapped your arms around her, swaying side-to-side, telling her that it's all right now because you're here. "It's going to be all right. I finally left that place, I'm all yours."
Oh, I wish I could pretend nothing happened, she thought. Emma was guilty but nobody can say that she was wrongfully accused or even the victim in the situation. Draken didn't know she was even married, but of course, she knew that but she still did everything unimaginable.
What have I done? She kept thinking and crying to herself for the past month that you were away and replaced with someone new,
Why did I do that? Why did you, Emma?
Questions stemming from her guilt began to consume her. Even as she cooked, as she cleaned, before she slept and in her dreams. It was like having eyes and lips all around her, the walls in this home that you two have built know about it and it haunts her every day and night.
It haunts her even in her sleep.
"Emma, you're so cruel." I am,
"Emma, you're horrible." I am,
"Emma, look at what you did?" I know,
"Emma, you don't deserve her," I don't,
"Emma, you should die." I should.
The voices in her head remind her of that night. That night she did something horrible. That night she managed to put a huge gap between the two of you. It haunted her, like the shadow behind her figure and she can't do anything about it.
But you know what? She doesn't want to tell you. She loves you so much, but she doesn't want to let you go. You don't deserve this, but she's selfish and wants to keep you by her side. Even if this shadow of guilt stays for a lifetime right behind her, she'll live with it if it means getting to keep you with her.
But it's not going to let her get away with it.
Just as everything was going all right for you and seemingly for Emma, you find something.
You were going to confront her, of course you were. It hurt and you know it hurts her as well.
Even when you find out about this, you're still sure that Emma loves you and that you love her as well. But were you enough for her? Most probably not. Because, what have you been doing the past month? Even after all the warnings and longing for her, you continued with the work that was supposed to be second in your priority's list.
I should have talked to her,
I should have re-established my priorities,
Even during the times you could have taken a break and provided the promised love and affection you would give to her, you didn't. And it was intentional.
You thought that if you did something about your work earlier and did it all throughout with no breaks whatsoever, you thought it would go by in a flash. It did, but you lost something along the way;
All because of the work that you decided to deem more important than her.
Sitting in the dining area, you forced your eyes to open wider than they should be, trying not to let your eyelids relax and appear to bear sorrow behind them that may add more to the tension that you feel very strongly in the room.
Once Emma and you finished your meals, you put them away and Emma takes out a box of blueberry cheesecake that she bought this afternoon.
"I got these from the newly established bakery just a few minutes away from here!" Whilst feigning the most believable, true smile she could muster, she said. You returned the smile, however, you knew that Emma knew it wasn't genuine.
What's wrong? She wants to ask you, however, she probably gets it already.
All the things she did is why, that's what's wrong.
You took bites, even when you were full, you took bites. You ate and ate until you had finished about three slices already. And unbeknownst to you, you started playing with the ring, that still shone beautifully, that was placed by Emma herself on your ring finger.
As Emma finishes her turn in washing the dishes, she notices your act.
Please, she pleads to the heavens in her little mind. She didn't need words to explain what she was asking for since it was crystal clear.
You don't speak and time passes, almost an hour has passed and you've not spoken.
"Please... Emma, tell me this is a joke."
She can't hide it from you anymore,
"What can I do to keep you here with me, while being assured that you'll stay?"
Is that really what you ask of her? Is that the first thing you ask when there are other ways to approach the situation? "Other ways," as in fighting, throwing objects at each other, screaming.
Sobs can't be heard but a cascade of tears fell from your pretty eyes as you silently cry in front of her.
Emma can't even cry anymore, she's cried too much that she's probably wasted all of it. But even when she thinks like so, tears stream down her face as well, and more when she sees you clutching onto the fabric covering your chest as you cry and silently scream.
"Is...this what I come home to...?"
No, she thought, no, she knows that it's not what you should come back home to,
"Even while I was away, did that mean you can bring somebody else home?!"
"Much more... a man? You brought home a man?!"
It hurt beyond words. If you were to write an essay of your feelings, you wouldn't even know where to start. It hurt like that. It was so painful.
You didn't even spare her another word before taking the ring off,
"I don't think I can stay here with the knowledge of what you've done."
Emma can't speak, she only cries once again when she hears nothing else but a wallet and a phone getting picked up from the table, then shoes being put, to the door being opened where you walk out.
Where you leave and never come back.
