#sxssyeon

I think it’s bedtime for you, child.

Good thing you changed it, we can’t have you falsely advertise things that aren’t true, Wonshik-ah.

(—gasps and looks around, brows raised in mock surprise; Oh no, where’d she go?!

(—whispers from afar; I thought it was rather creative—

11. 20. 2014.

Dear journal, 

I have been..miserable. I never thought I would be, since I’ve always been a happy person, but these days, I don’t know where I can find my happiness anymore. A part of me is gone, and I’m afraid that It will never come back. It’s hard to even smile these days. I find myself holding onto the past, and those memories, they hurt me. Everywhere I’m looking, I see him. Everywhere I go, they remind me of him. I feel pain everywhere. Will It ever get any better?

But It’s different with Hakyeon oppa. And I’m grateful.

He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he is there. Everyone else keeps trying to cheer me up, but It makes me feel somewhat..pressure. Like I have to be happy so that I won’t worry them. I hate seeing them upset, you see. But when I’m with Hakyeon oppa, I’m genuinely..not too unhappy. He distracts me. I bully him a lot, and I tease him, but at least when I smile, they aren’t forced. I find myself at ease when I’m with him. I know he’d hug me and wipe my tears away if I cry in front of him, but when he is around, I don’t have to think about those pains. I don’t feel too hurt, and that’s a good thing, right? 

I like claiming him as mine, as It’s funny seeing him get jealous and pouty over Wonshik. I love them both, though. It feels like, It’s okay to smile, It’s okay to not be in too much pain, and It’s okay to accept things the way they are. He’s a good guy, you know. And I wish things would stay this way, so that maybe one day, I could tell him that oppa, I got my heart broken, but I’m okay now, thank you for being here. Maybe one day It’d be okay to say that. 

Hakyeon oppa doesn’t need to know he really is my favorite member of VIXX, right? I’m going to keep bringing up Wonshik and Hongbin just to tease him, heh.

[ sms - Boo ] .......I don't even know where to begin with all the questions I have for you right now.

[ sms - Boo ] Just so you know, the image inside my head right now is REALLY disturbing.

And that's quite alright! So long as you can get past my fanboying as well. (—lets out a laugh as he nods and properly bows; It's a pleasure to meet you, Bomi!