#swnika

“So how do I look?” Inika asked as she shifted back and forth in front of the mirror. 

“Good but shouldn’t you be wearing something more.. I don’t know relaxed?” Her stepsister asked, “You still have a lot of unpacking to do.” 

She was right of course, hell the only reason Sam was over was to give her a hand so she’s have help wrapping up this rush job of a move. Unfortunately though they hadn’t made much progress because Nika had other things on her mind. 

“Yeah.. but Lolly comes home in a couple hours and I want to look nice for my baby.” She shrugged as she continued to focus forward on what was probably the fifth or sixth outfit she had tried on. 

“Ugh.” Samus groaned in response. 

“What was that for?”  

“This outfit is so not for your baby.. I don’t know why you’re bothering to try and catch his eye. We both know you’ll just end up disappointed.” Her sister sighed, “He didn’t even look at you like that when he picked her up.” 

“He was distracted. In a rush to get back home because of the incoming weather.” Nika contested. 

In fact Olin was bringing Oleander home a day late because of that too. He wanted to see if more of the snow would melt before heading back down. The mountain passes could get quite narrow and icey when the weather was right. 

“Or he’s just not interested Nika.” Sam pointed out firmly, “I know you’ve spent the last few years focused on getting your life together -”

“And so has he.” Inika replied defensively, “Seems like a good time to reconnect to me. We’re more mature now, we have a daughter...” 

"A daughter you kept from him for four years. I think you’re overestimating how easy it’ll be for him to get over that. Olin can be too forgiving sometimes but once you cross a line with him you might as well be invisible.” 

“See it’s a perfect little kids room, right?” Olin asked calmly as they all entered Oleander’s bright and sunny new space.  

“Righ! Meebee Suzzy an Tuwee tomtime?” Lolly countered back with a hopeful tone in her voice. 

I really need to get her in speech therapy soon. Nika mused to herself, If her own mother can’t understand her half the time, kindergarten is going to be a hell of ride. Suzzy.. Tuwee? Maybe he got her new stuffed animals?

“Uh.. not really sure that’s going to happen sweetie. This is a special place just for you and your mama okay?” Olin explained carefully. 

So they’re friends of his? Nika’s mind began to wander...

“K.” Lolly shrugged with slight disappointment as she pushed on to explore her room. 

“Suzzy and Tuwee?” Inika asked after they stood in awkward silence for a couple minutes. No harm in clarifying, could be friends right? Olin has a lot of friends she didn’t know and some of them may even have kids. Like Estra! Yes! Estra just had a baby too right? “Are those some of Estra’s kids? I heard she has a bundle of them now.” 

“Oh uhh no.. Sunny’s my girlfriend. She has a little dog named Tulip Lolly is pretty obsessed with.” 

“Olin come back here...” Inika loudly whispered as she chased him into the next room. Sadly this felt like more like old times than any of their other recent interactions, “We’re going to talk about this shit right now.” 

“I am not going to fight with you.” Olin mumbled as he continued toward the door. 

“We don’t have to fight about it because you’re never fucking doing it again.”  

“You don’t have that right.” He replied flatly, his matter of fact tone only serving to add to her frustration. 

“I sure as fuck do have that right!” She fought back trying to insist even to herself that somehow she was right in this, “She’s my daughter Olin! If I don’t want her going with you to visit your fuck buddies I think that’s perfectly reasonable.” 

“She is not just someone I’m sleeping with.” He explained, still keeping a surprising measure of calm, “I love her. I really think there is something here. Fuck I might even marry her.” 

“Whatever, you think you love every woman that gives you the right kind of attention.”

“Oh what the fuck do you even know?” Ollie turned, finally snapping back, “Until two months ago you were no one to me and fuck sometimes I still wish you were. Unfortunately life isn’t that kind though. It likes me to really feel all my mistakes and the only part of being with you that wasn’t an absolute disaster was the fortunate accident that gave me my daughter. I am only here for her and I will never put her in a bad situation. THAT and that alone is the only information YOU need to know about MY life.”

“Hey we’re here!” Olin’s voice called through the house.

Nika was glad for the interruption. Her thoughts were not going to happy places. Maybe this time their interactions would be more pleasant? Give her a bit of hope to marinate in? 

“Dis no my haus Dayee!” Her daughter shouted, clearly cranky from the long ride. 

“Yeah it is sweetie, remember mommy was moving?” Olin reassured her softly,  “You’re getting a whole new room and everything.”

“Ba I don wan new woom.” Oleander whined in response. 

“It’s really nice though, Sammy and I got everything setup for you so you’d be able to find all your favorite things.” Inika countered back hoping that knowing her stuff was already there would sway her. 

“I dunno..” 

“You want me to go with you to see it?” Ollie offered as he gently rubbed her little arm. 

“K.” Lolly sighed still clearly unsure. 

“She’ll be fine once she’s in there.” Inika smiled sweetly. “She just doesn’t like change much” 

“I mean who does?” Olin laughed awkwardly. 

Mood, Nika thought to herself. 

“Why do I insist on buying every square shaped dish I see?” She sighed to herself as she worked away in the kitchen. Sam had left her by then but the words she had said continued to make laps in her head.

You might as well be invisible.

It had been easy to ignore when she had other things to focus on that were not so mindless. Her studies made for a good distraction. Now, however, while mindlessly looking through boxes she couldn’t help but recognize the lack of warmth in his tone the last time she had seen him. 

In fact he sort of seemed outright annoyed. 

Why hadn’t she noticed that before? Did she just not want to? Even though they had been so off and on during their time together there was part of her that kept thinking they’d find a way back. That even though the timing hadn’t been right, that neither of them were in a healthy place they’d be able to reconnect in the future. 

That was the lie she told herself anyway as she held their newborn daughter tightly, as she watched her chubby little legs take their first steps, as the once in a lifetime moments piled up and time began to move too fast for her to keep track of.

- SideWays: Inika Kent -