#switchy witch

😳 well, that was certainly answering the call for inspiration. thank you, sweet anon (with your very distinctive writing voice and POV 🏹💘)

idk how skilled of a bottom i actually am. i am used to managing head space in lots of different ways, mainly in professional or leadership contexts. i would definitely admit to that skill set. but as far as being the one demanding pleasure, it would run counter to my sexual history thus far. hence the need for further research, you see.

i think my domming style in general is much more like a lockpicker than a battering ram. i like using a variety of tools and the least amount of force applied effectively to weak spots. i like the feeling of testing and probing and finding the exact right angle where all the tumblers line up and, bam! all resistance falls away.

using someone like a toy doesn't appeal to me. i don't prefer to think of myself that way and i don't like to think of other humans that way (even if i understand the impulse to dissociate from humanity in the myriad of ways that shows up online). i think the lockpicker domme side of me is intrigued by the idea of balancing someone at the edge of their limits but preventing them from going over. dynamic tension. i like a lot of feedback and teamwork. even if the concept of someone continuing to fuck me after they've collapsed is 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 mesmerizing

and leashes 🤔 very much rotating collaring and leashes in my mind these days. kind of getting into the idea of flipping things that might be irritating or triggering to me in the sub role into tools i can use in the domme role. LOL uh, there's some muscle memory in there too. i used to train literal puppies to be guide dogs so i've delivered a lot of corrections using a leash before. i haven't mentioned it because puppy play isn't really my thing but ummmmmmmm leashes and collars, leashes and collars. i could find room in my fantasies for leashing and collaring somebody.

I’m using topping here to mean being the hypnotist and bottoming to mean being the subject. I remain mildly bumpuzzled at the use of these terms in a hypnotic context.

Here are the patterns I’ve noticed in my switching:

-I’m pretty fluid- if someone else wants to bottom or top I’ll usually switch to the opposite pretty easily even if it’s not my normal in the relationship

-I’m perfectly happy both in relationships where dynamics remain constant and where the switching is pretty fluid*. If I’m usually bottomy in a relationship, I may need more encouragement to top- it feels rude to assume toppiness without an actual stated request (broadly hinting doesn’t count).

-When I’m tired or feeling sad or depleted, I usually want to bottom. It’s restorative.

- When I feel depleted or sad, I tend to convince myself that I’m a terrible hypnotist and have to push myself to do it. I tend to internally criticize and get stuttery or easily discouraged if things don’t seem to be working quickly. However, if I can get, say, 5 minutes into a session without psyching myself out, topping is hugely energy-giving and more restorative than bottoming. I just have to ride out the first part.

- I have an internal balance of topping and bottoming that’s probably about at 50/50 preference. If I get too much bottoming without enough topping, I tend to get resentful- as though people don’t take me seriously as a hypnotist. I can also become paranoid that I’m so terrible that no one wants to play with me (and they are too kind to tell me directly).  If I do too much topping without bottoming, I tend to feel depleted. My toppiness feels like it gets broken- like the words just won’t come in any sort of smooth way.**

-Topping often feels more vulnerable than bottoming- it takes a lot of trust that someone will follow where I lead. Topping a new person especially feels more vulnerable than bottoming for one. (If I were a different kind of subject I may experience this differently).

-I tell myself I “need” to be hypnotized more often than I tell myself I need to hypnotize someone. That’s also an easier itch to scratch with mp3s, self-hypnosis, etc. if no one is around/ available.*** Topping needs are not so easily met.

-Switchfighting is fun and light- I would like to get better at quickie inductions and tricksy language so I could be more skilled at these. I  prefer mutual trance as a switchy activity but mutual trances are STRONG interpersonal magicks and best done with someone I’m OK with being attached to.

-ETA: I’m not quite sure how.if I’m perceived by the community as a whole- I’ve been fortunate enough to not have much creepiness directed towards me as a top or as a bottom. I wonder if that is because I don’t fall easily into a role (hot subby girl vs lady hypnotist unicorn), because my tumblr’s pretty non-explicit, because my tumblr’s not particularly popular, or because of unknown factor x.

I’m curious: What are other people’s switching patterns? How are they similar/different?

Tagging @tennfan2, @rightthewaydown, @banana-pie-gaige, @mr-prism, @mrs-prism, @hypnosophist, @banana-pie-gaige, @spiralturquoise, @dancercoder, @zanythoughts, @hypno-sandwich, @damnhypsters, @thehypnobunny, @bannableoffense, @meltinggoldanddippingthingsinit , @minddiver, @sex-obsessed-lesbian  any other switches who I am leaving out

*However, I mildly prefer being fluid. I love the moments where things feel up in the air- like watching a volleyball that could be spiked either way.

*This is a lie-I hypnotized people for years before I had much experience at all as a subject.