#swallowpit

@swallowpit asked: what else do you want from me? / Kara BC angst

@swallowpit said: combat!

¹ .ㅤ‘ via the system of touch ’ . 

strength comes with an inherent violence associated to it. someone with strength is someone who FIGHTS, a clenched fist with knuckles bared & swinging. it's underscored with resounding impact. in the wake of reign's destructive purpose still hovering its sinister intent over national city, sam can't help but associate the remnant kryptonian power housed in her veins with the brutality that accompanied it.

( strength, to sam, is the grit, the tireless determination, that carried her through a struggling decade of raising a child, in creating her own support system. it's resilience, not force. )

even still, she's here, wielding a right hook that comes through more like a bent angle. it's all momentum, thrust forward onto her right front foot, & staggering.

@swallowpit asked: you take and you take and you never give. / Kara oop

" Hey, " Alex interjected, the gingerness of her assertion never quite reaching the pinnacle of stern, or stringent — only a quiet flavor of astoundment.

Perplexity.

The ire in Kara's voice, unshrouded despite the too - thin walls sequestering them from the perpetual drone of black ops surveillance — from dozens of agents who hadn't been made privy as to the true identity of National City's newest hero — was like nothing she'd ever heard; And J'onn, wordlessly standing in the crosshairs of Kara's laser - focused distemper ( J'onn, a man in need of Supergirl's unique assist in place of her seemingly unpremeditated and unemotional antagonism ), seemed just as taken aback as she was.

@swallowpit asked: you want me to be something i'm not. / Kara

" That's not true. " Alex’s shame, much like the tension tightening her jaw with the effort she'd made to stop the resentment in those words from slipping through her like a knife, held itself in the watery depths of her eyes a fraction too resolutely.  " I'm trying to protect you. To keep you safe. "

Whether that had been from the DEO, the government, the kids in Midvale or just the world at large, that had never stopped being true. Where her sister's purpose had long shifted, metamorphosed and twisted over time by how vital it was that she fit in, acclimate to a planet still innately mistrusting of aliens and learn what it meant to be Kara Danvers rather than who she'd been on Krypton, Alex's — perhaps begrudgingly, at first, and then with steadfastness, rooted by an unconditional and unbreakable bond — was Kara. Kara's wellbeing, Kara's secret. Kara's happiness, whatever it might cost her. 

And it had cost her.

@swallowpit said: i never realized i could love someone this much.

PROMPTS FOR BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS

" well, i'm just glad you guys are finally figuring it out. " sam's smile is kind, knowing, a happy glimmer of amusement along for the ride. " i mean, the chemistry between the two of you is off the charts. " she shuffles her hips forward on the seat, chin eager to make its way to the bridge of her knuckles. she's curious & it shows itself in the friendly hitch of her brow.

@swallowpit said: i don't ever want to know a world without you.

PROMPTS FOR BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS

it's funny. she has a hundred places to call home from metropolis to star city & back again, all made up of paper christmas trees, a chalked up bucket list adorning a kitchen walls. none of them have taken root so fast as national city.

so maybe it's not the place at all.

" hey, now, " brushes a quiet laugh shuttered beneath a smile that spreads while she tucks a wayward strand behind her ear. " ---- but i know what you mean. "

@swallowpit asked: when were you going to tell me the truth? / Lena

" We're a covert organisation for a reason, Lena, " Alex ceded, a quiet assertion tinged with a thin shade of something like contrition: a fleck of chagrin that she hadn't been more honest when Lena hadn't given her any reason not to be.

Still, the choice not to had been a calculated one, meant to conceal any deeper links between herself and Supergirl, any state secrets and weaponry held by the DEO that couldn't, in any circumstance, be made known to the civilian public. A worthwhile one that, in the end, hadn't been necessary. " But you knew who I worked for. "

Lena wasn't stupid. After all they'd seen in each other's loose orbit, every fortuitous occasion at which Alex had shown up on the scene of a foiled assassination or alien skirmish on National City's streets hot on her superpowered sibling's weightless heels, she couldn't imagine she'd ever believed in that degree of coincidence — or that any singular so - called FBI agent had any personal stake in Supergirl's comings and goings.

it's hard, really, seeing her friend faced with a fantasy she'd been thinking about since she was ten. kara is faced with a ripcord - an escape. if she could escape the last fifteen years of her life, of taunting, of too-tight dresses and too-low cleavages, then she would too. but her family doesn't exist outside of a portrait — lillian, cool as ever, seemingly colder in oil paints, lionel, calm on the outside but a raging storm beneath the surface, and lex being the epitome of all mixed together yet less tightly-trussed. since she was young, her family was something new. unknown. a question mark, a mental blank in her brain that she'd been trying to contest with for the entirety of her adult life. it was different. new.

she doesn't blame her for considering argo. if she knew her real family could be out there too, she'd have boarded that ship as soon as she figured out how to solder. but when it comes to that dark, selfish part of her, and when she wrapped her arms around a would-be-could-be-should-be friend and uttered her own goodbye, the creeping cold began to take up too much space. (it's a bitterness she's been trying to swallow, because it reminds her too much of the portrait. nature is a strong force, but nurture may be stronger still.)

it was a long evening, retiring herself from the office a little earlier than usual with jess's ever-eager pushing. she'd already swiped her coat from its rack and was standing expectantly in the door the moment she saw the colour almost entirely drained from her face, and with a little coaxing, and bundling, and threatening, lena'd made it home while the sun was still setting.

a scotch would settle her nerves if it was only one. but like all luthors, there's a hint of indulgence that never quite leaves. that small voice in the back of her head slings another down her throat, and another, and another, and when she starts crying like the weak-hearted fool that lex'd pegged her for since day one, she'd barely had time to check her makeup before the door went.

she answers it, sullenly.