#suv's

Rezvani Bullet proof Car ( 2020 ) 😁 now we just need a zombie apocalypse to test it out 🤔

I'll finish with a quick video of it in action 😎

  FINANCE YOUR AUTO

-This morning a female came in and asked for a battery for her car. After typing in the year, make, model, sub-model, and engine size: she proceedes to hand me her key fob.

-After ringing up a gentleman for wiper blades he asked me: "could you put these on for me? I usually would, but..." I looked up at him nodding, waiting for him to finish. He turned and walked out the front door. This appeared to be his usual way of forming sentences. Following behind, I didn't question his ability to form sentences but did wonder if he had, indeed, ever changed wiper blades before.

-I also had the pleasure of helping a customer trouble shoot the ineffectiveness of the battery they had purchases half an hour before. After explaining how they had carried the battery across the street to his wife's car: he unhooked and took the old battery out, sat the new battery in place, and rehooked everything up in the opposite order. This was unusual as our batteries are always charged up and ready to go. I offered to go across the street with him and take a look. Upon closer inspection I realized the customer's issue. I grabbed a 10mm, took off the negative terminal, took off the plastic protective cap from the post, and replaced the terminal. I would be lying if I didn't say the wife looked as impressed as the husband looked embarrassed. I don't think he believed my assurances in the fact it happens all the time.

-After lunch a customer asked if I could explain the difference between "drum and disk brakes." I was never happier to oblige to a customers wishes.

This is the most inappropriately named vehicle category in the marketplace.  Sport Utility Vehicles?  Have you ever seen one of these drive over a speed bump?  They go over them as though they’re carrying a load of 2,4,6-trinitro toluene (TNT) held by a toddler.  Pay no attention to the commercials, where they’re shown driving in the wilderness, over huge rocks down a muddy dirt road.  Pay no attention to the heavy duty tires and wheels attached to a heavy duty truck frame.  Those are for REAL Sport drivers.  The closest thing that 99% of SUV drivers get to Sport is hauling their kids to soccer practice.  They should be renamed Slow Useless Vehicles.  Really.  What’s the problem with actually making your car do something it was designed to do? Perhaps it’s a manufacturer’s issue as well.  After all, they put speedometers that go to 120mph in cars that in no possible scenario could go that fast.  

One more thing about SUV’s that’s ironic:  Have you ever considered that if you took one of these behemoths to the place for which they’re named (Yukon, Tundra, Sequoia, Mountaineer…) that you’d ruin those places?  An SUV on a Tundra?  Riiiiight. Put a soccer mom behind the wheel and that thing would go a mile in a week.  The best-named one is the Suburban.

OK- one MORE thing about SUV’s.  This one makes me laugh.  It’s the whole category of “luxury SUV’s”.  It’s an oxymoron of a car category- LUXURY sport utility vehicles? Why not luxury economy car?  Why not full-size subcompact?  But the makers of these LSUV’s (I’m tired of typing) have embraced the realization that 99% of SUV’s purchased never go off paved surfaces, so why not make them as comfortable (and as big) as your living room? When Porsche and Mercedes came out with their versions I realized the lie behind “SUV”.  Maybe they really ought to be named SOFT Useless Vehicles.

And since I’m on the topic, the same goes with Pickup trucks.  Given the godawful handling, turn radius, acceleration, and gas mileage of these beasts, why would any sane suburbanite buy one?  Two reasons:  Small penis and cowboy wishes.  One’s compensatory, the other is fantasy fulfillment.  Since I commute absurd distances each day, I have the unfortunate ability to see hundreds of these vehicles during my commute.  I’d guess that 75% of them have nothing in the back and no commercial markings on them.  The other 25% are work trucks, and I understand completely the need for a pickup when your livelihood is plumbing, welding, painting or gardening.  It’s the 75% that don’t make sense.  Small penis and cowboy wishes.  

It’s an exciting time to be trading up to late-model cars, trucks and SUV’s!  Autotrader.com recently announced the hottest tech on 4 wheels - and it’s all available now!  

The List:

Advanced Back-Up Cameras.  The best give you a top down view of your car from all angles!

Augmented Reality Owner’s Manual.  Can’t figure out that bluetooth? Just point your smartphone at the item in question and up pop videos and tutorials to get it all figured out.  That’ll make you feel like a wizard!

Automated Steering.  Here comes the autonomous car!

New LED Headlight Technology.  Never change a headlight again!

Improved Smartphone Infotainment Integration.  Apple CarPlay and Android Auto look to make it much easier for us to have Siri and OK Google at our beck and call on the road.

Smartphone Vehicle Management.  Lock your doors from anywhere with your smartphone. Oh - and start your car, too!

Self-Parking Systems.  No more parallel parking.  Enough said.

For all the details, read the whole story here.