#suryn

Meh, it’s a start. An attempt at a Saryn/Sulia aesthetic thing but this is honestly easier with human characters </3

Saryn's cheeks darken and he lowers his eyes for a brief moment, raising his hand and covering his mouth as he clears his throat.

"For technicality's sake, I must clarify that I did not 'acknowledge' her, at least in the ways I assume you're implying, until the course of her apprenticeship. When she was my student at the Academy, there was certainly no interest of that kind.

To indulge your query, though, I'd have to say that it was during our stay in the wilds on Concoraadia. We had been staying at an old Field outpost while we studied the biology in the area. I recall that evening clearly now; Sulia was making dinner, while I went out to collect a few more samples. And in turn, I had the misfortune of running into a rather nasty little creature with an equally unsavory venom. And when I saw the markings on its body, I knew I was in quite a predicament. The symptoms set in almost immediately. I felt light-headed and so very weak. My vision begun to fade in and out.

I struggled to get back to our post, but when I did, Sulia was quick to act. She knew something was terribly wrong. If I'm terribly honest, I thought I was done for; I was almost certain. There was only about a 25% rate of survival after being bitten by one of those... things. And considering that we were pent up at an old outpost... I wasn't very optimistic. But... I can't really say that I cared too much... I wasn't terribly concerned with what happened to me at that point in my life. No one would care regardless, I had convinced myself.

I remember all these thoughts going through my head as my vision continued to fade. I could barely even make out her blurry silhouette or her muffled voice calling out to me, frantic as she was. And then everything just went black. But I wasn't quite unconscious; it was as though all of my senses shut down for the time. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't feel. As if my body had shut down, but my brain was taking longer.

But then I opened my eyes. I balled my hand into a fist, and grasped at the bed sheet. I could feel. I could see. And as I looked around to see where exactly I was... I saw her sitting in a shoddy old folding chair at my bedside, her folded arms resting on the mattress, and her head tucked away inside them. She'd done it. She'd really saved my arse, heh.

And I remember her stirring awake to find me that way; she was so relieved and so happy. She greeted me with a big smile, telling me how she was so scared I was gone. She was so frightened, and so overwhelmed. But she'd tried her best. She's used the knowledge she'd acquired from me and the knowledge she'd harnessed on her own and she did it. "You're alive," she'd admonished. "But, that thing could have killed you!"

He lowers his eyes, growing silent for a long moment. His face takes on a different expression; one of almost a shameful nature.

"And after all of that... after all she'd done for me... I had the nerve to ask her, 'and what if it had? Who would care? What have I got to live for?'

I remember the smile fading from her face, the empty feeling that suddenly swelled inside me as the tears welled up in her eyes.... good Heavens, the tears.

In all the time we'd known one another, it was only the second time she'd ever allowed herself to cry in front of me. The first was the night I found her in the mine. The night that I later learned was the same night she lost her father.

'Idiot!' She had called me. 'You're nothing but a selfish idiot!'

She lost all her composure. She just... broke down crying. She scolded me for such cold, thoughtless words, and continued to sob like a mad woman.

And I had the gall to ask her why. Why was she crying?

She explained that she cared for me a great deal, and that my words were very hurtful. It's clear as day to me now; why else would she have fought so greatly to keep me alive? I don't know what frame of mind I was in at that point. But she was finally snapping me out of it.

I raised a hand to place atop her head in some strange gesture of comfort, and when she looked up at me, I smiled a bittersweet smile. I wasn't aware there was actually someone out there that gave half a damn. And when I told her that, she flung an arm around my waist and buried her face into my side. I can't begin to tell you how long she cried there. I rubbed her back, in an attempt to soothe her, and she only nestled closer. I called out, but she didn't answer.

I knew I'd hurt her a great deal, and it finally began to sink in just how poorly I'd treated her. This girl who'd dealt with me and my cold demeanor and short temper for years. This girl whose skills I'd admittedly questioned. This girl who I'd put through the wringer during her time studying under me. This was the same girl who had just saved my life. And it finally sunk in; she's the only reason I'm alive right now. And I'd treated her in such a manner.

All in a moment, it hit me. All of her hard work and patience; how knowledgeable she really was. Everything she'd dealt with at my expense. Yes, that's when it hit me; this woman deserved my utmost respect and appreciation.

But more significant than that even, was the fact that I realized just how much she actually cared for me. She regarded me as important enough in her life, not just as her mentor, but just as a being, and a friend, that she'd go to such great lengths... she'd seen me for who and what I really am when no one else did. And she cared enough that it had reduced her to a sobbing mess.

I remember leaning in and wrapping an arm around her as she cried. I felt horrible. All I could bring myself to say to her was I'm sorry. I honestly lost track of how many times I said it to her, but it never felt like enough. Because I wasn't only sorry for my cold, callous words. I was sorry for everything else as well.