💔, 🌱 and 📓 for Suryan!
Ohhhhh those are GOOD ones!
💔 - Does forgiveness come easily or with difficulty to this oc? Can they forgive others? What about themselves?
When it comes to forgiveness with him it's really pretty straightforward. He's extremely forgiving of other's mistakes, and willing to forgive almost anyone. (for harm against himself anyway) He doesn't always forgive immediately however, preferring to hold back and wait for proof that the person in question has changed or is trying to change. If they are? Then who they were in the past will absolutely be forgiven, after all, everyone deserves a second chance if they're genuinely willing to put the work in to grow. Essentially, he's extremely lax about it but not a fool.
As for forgiving himself...that's another story. He doesn't vocalize it much, but he's incredibly unforgiving towards himself. His internal monologue is incredibly harsh if not outright cruel. In many ways he views himself as the villain of this story.
🌱 - Share one of this oc’s early memories.
Reaching as far back into his memories as one could go he can recall warmth, soft fabric and gentle voices, hazy like a dream, somewhere in the back of his mind he remembers faintly the feeling of absolute safety. But if he tries to focus on it, it inevitably devolves into chaos, screams, roars, pain, and cold silence. He can remember the feeling of being tiny, afraid, and alone, calling for warmth and comfort that didn't come. He can't recall any faces, only the emotions.
I'd say his first truly clear early memory is of laying against his best friend, listening to the other boy hum to himself, sleepy from playing, and with a full belly. It's cozy in thought, but stings a little to look back on these days. He prefers not to linger on his memories before a certain point in general tbh.
📓 - Do you associate any quotes or lyrics with this oc?
Ohhhh this might be my favourite.
Might not be exactly what's being asked for, but Luthen's monologue from Andor makes me think of him so much every time and it makes me insane. If you know you know.
"Calm. Kindness. Kinship. Love. I’ve given up all chance at inner peace. I’ve made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote 15 years ago from which there’s only one conclusion, I’m damned for what I do. My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they’ve set me on a path from which there is no escape. I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down there was no longer any ground beneath my feet.
What is my sacrifice?
I’m condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them. I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my LIFE to make a sunrise that I know I’ll never see. And the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror, or an audience, or the light of gratitude.
So what do I sacrifice?
Everything!”
If I could animate I would be unstoppable
