Taking my time I wondered through the house ignoring unwanted conversation and trying my hardest not to fall over. Making it to the living room I spotted him sitting on the arm of the couch making everyone around him laugh like he always did.

His eyes lit up when they caught mine.

“Y/N!” He called, waving me over.

Annihilated or not my lips couldn’t help but pull themselves into a smile.

“Hey handsome.” I said, somehow managing not to slur my words.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and sat on his lap. Shifting so that he could hold both of us on the couch arm, his hand held onto my hip.

“You uh...good Y/N?” He asked, his breath against my ear causing goosebumps.

I pulled away a bit and raised an eyebrow. It was getting harder to pretend I was “sober”.

“I am fineeee Magee.” I booped his nose, “Are you?”

A smirk pulled at his lips, the grip he had on my hip tightening. He knew I was fucked up, his sudden concerned expression making it harder to lie.

Ryan had seen me fucked up plenty of times, always playing the part of my knight in shining armor and coming to my rescue. I don’t know how he wasn’t sick of me by now.

“Okay fine, I’m fucked up.” I whimpered with a pout.

Ryan laughed, sliding me off of him gently. Standing, he held me in place.

“You want me to drive you home?” He said over the music.

I nodded as a sting of embarrassment touched my cheeks. I hated when Ryan had to play babysitter.

Saying our goodbyes, he then lead me from the house with my hand tightly in his.

By the time we got to (and into) my place I was ready to keel over.

“Y/N let’s go, your room is literally 2 feet away.” Ryan groaned when I stopped to “rest” on my couch.

Pouting again I tried to find words of protest but failed, yawning instead. Ryan rolled his eyes at my silence and stomped towards me.

“Y/N seriously get.up.”

Ryan trying to scold me was hilarious for some reason, a small chuckle escaping my throat followed by a hiccup. He scoffed and before I knew it he was lifting me up and over his shoulder.

“Oh Ryan!” I cried, too drunk to really resist. “Come on I could’ve walked.”

Ignoring me he continued to my room. Eventually my back met with the mattress, Ryan standing over me; examining me.

“Well.” I slurred wiggling “seductively” on my bed.

Ryan gave me a suspicious look, earning another smile from me.

“You wanted me in here so bad, aren’t you gonna help ya girl out?” I provoked, hinting at him taking my clothes off for me.

Ryan once again rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Jesus christ Y/N I fucking hate you sometimes.”

Hesitating, he walked towards me. I was going to fuck with him and call him a perv but the thought of Ryan undressing me held any smart comment I could make in the back of my throat. I observed quietly as he confidently undid the button of my jeans, slowly sliding them downward. Lifting my shirt up and over my head, his eyes then found themselves transfixed on my chest.

“Ryan.” I pretended to scold him.

Quickly shaking any inappropriate thoughts away, he threw an oversized tshirt at me like a dodgeball.

“Alright.” He said once I crawled under my blankets, “Are you good now?”

He was closer to my door than I had wanted.

“Ryan?” I said, my voice like a whiny child.

“Y/N?” He replied folding his arms over his chest.

“Will you stay with me?”

I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the way Ryan once again went out of his way to take care of me, but I was feeling...soft...cuddly? His expression of disbelief was somewhat unsettling, making me instantly regret my suggestion.

“A-are you su-....like in the same bed? Are you sure?”

I guess I had caught him off guard, but I couldn’t help but giggle at his sudden nervousness.

“Ryan you stripped me half naked but sleeping in bed with me is what freaks you out?” I joked shaking my head in amazement.

Without a word he rolled his eyes and made his way to my bed. Undressing to his boxers he then stood next to the bed in silence. Laughing again I slid over to give him some room.

“Come on big boy.” I teased patting the empty space, “Make baby happy.”

Turning away from him and onto my side, I felt him finally get in. I was worried I was going to have to ask him to cuddle but before I could even process how to go about it, his arm snaked it’s way over my waist and his body pressed against my back. Snuggling into him more, I could finally close my eyes.

“Thanks for taking care of me...again.” I said, drifting off to sleep.

Squeezing me tighter, his lips met the back of my head.

I told myself to stop letting this happen...but I always ended up in the same position.

- -

We met through mutual Twitch friends and out of them all Ryan and I clicked the most. Our relationship was the type where we bullied each other to no end. Fake fighting, telling one another we hated the other when clearly we didn’t, etc. But then...things changed. There was a particular night where everyone else had fallen asleep, leaving Ryan and I alone. Not wanting to “disturb them”, Ryan suggested we finish movie night in his room with a sly expression I’ll never be able to forget. Drunk and secretly pining over him, I agreed. One thing lead to another and before I knew it Ryan was behind me telling me how good it felt to “finally” be inside me. Now here we were a year later still randomly waking up together.

Shaking the thought from my already aching head, I slowly removed Ryan’s arm so that I wouldn’t wake him up; tiptoeing from the room for Tylenol. Closing the door quietly, I made my way to the kitchen, looking around at the destruction from last nights “wine and video game” night. Jackson was knocked out half naked on the couch cowboy hat still on, but none of the other boys were where we left them last night.

“Hi Lego.” I whispered to the pup, creeping past him. One of his eyes was open and watching me but he quickly dozed back off into sleep. Lucky him.

Making it to the kitchen without disruption, I searched for the pills; my head pounding.

“Too much wine?”

The sudden voice caught me off guard and I jumped, dropping the pill bottle on the floor.

“Damnit Matt.” I groaned rubbing my head and quickly trying to clean up the scattered pills.

When I stood back up he was leaning against the island, grinning like a fool. My eyebrows pulled together with confusion.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I questioned, throwing a couple pills in my mouth. “You gotta problem Twatson?”

Matt snickered, pushing himself away from the island to go towards the fridge.

“How could I have a problem with someone who won me $10 last night!?”

My insides clenched and I was frozen in time trying to remember what happened.

“What?” I said blankly, not able to find any memory from last night.

Again Matt snickered as he started to walk past me, leaning in towards my ear.

“You and Ryan.” He whispered. “You guys are in loOoVeEe.”

Almost spitting out my water, I watched as he walked into the living room where Jackson was just now waking up. They high-fived each other and full of confusion I rushed towards them.

“Hold it right there Matthew.” I scolded. “Jackson hold him down.”

Eyes and head still foggy with sleep, all Jackson did was take Matt’s arm in his hand.

“You’re not gonna say the shit you just did in there then leave me hanging.” I growled sitting in Matt’s lap so he couldn’t leave, “Now spill.”

If Matt’s smile got any bigger his face would explode.

“Awh come on Y/N!” Matt moaned, “You really don’t remember?!”

Again I racked my brain, but couldn’t figure out what the hell he was talking about. I stared at him with an open mouth, shaking my head a silent ‘no’. Matt sighed and shoved me off of him so that I was now planted between him and Jackson.

“Jackson help this dang dip out.” Matt ordered stomping towards the kitchen.

“What Matthew’s trying to say,” he exhaled and took his hat off. “Is that we heard you and Ryan last night.”

My stomach dropped and my cheeks burned. Jackson’s eyes widened realizing what I was thinking.

“Oh no no no Y/N.” He chuckled, “Not that!”

I relaxed into the couch, sweat dripping down my neck once again.

“We heard you and Ryan tell each other ‘I love you’!” Matt called from the other room.

My cheeks turned a deeper crimson and I felt like I might puke.

“You’re...you’re joking right?” I choked on my words.

How could I forget telling Ryan I was in love with him?

“Nope.” Matt interrupted my thoughts as he plopped down next to me again, “In fact, we’ve been waiting for it to happen. Hence how I won $10, we took bets!”

Were Ryan and I really that obvious? I mean yeah the guys knew we were close, and randomly hooking up...but we never really made it seem like we were in love? Sure I had feelings for Ryan, how could I not? But for him to feel the same seemed assanine.

“Y/N the guy has it bad for you.” Jackson chimed in as if reading my thoughts.

“No one believed me.” Matt said, “But I know my buddy Ryan. That mope’s been in love with you since he first heard your voice over the mic.”

If my eyes got any wider they’d pop out of my skull.

“‘I wonder if Y/N likes this?’” Matt said trying to imitate Ryan’s voice, “‘I wonder if Y/N has seen this movie, I bet she’d love it.’”

I cleared my throat and resisted the urge to pass out.

“He talks about you the way he talks about the Iron Giant dude, fuckin crazzzy.” Matt continued. “On and on and on.”

Not able to stand it anymore, I let my legs push me up off the couch and towards Ryan’s room; ignoring the cat calls and whistling coming from Matt and Jackson. Slowing down as I approached the door, I stuck a shaky hand out, apprehensive to open it. Slowly turning the knob, I crept back into his room. Ryan inhaled sharply, I obviously woke him up. A sleepy smile formed on his lips and he ran a hand through his hair.

“Morning weeb.” He greeted groggily, pulling himself up into a sitting position on the bed.

I watched him intently, taking everything in. He was trying his hardest to stay awake, the sun coming through the window making him squint in order to see. His nose was scrunched to hold his one eye closed, his perfect teeth glistening in the light. My stomach was fluttering...could I really be in love with him? All this time we spent together and I didn’t even notice. I always had a thing for Ryan but the part of me that wanted to avoid heartbreak blocked out any...deeper feelings. Staying quiet I made my way to the bed. Instead of going to the side where I usually slept though I went to Ryan’s. His eyes were still heavy with sleep, but they followed me...unsure of what I was doing. Climbing onto him, I straddled his hips and let my eyes meet his. Instinctively his hands gripped my hips, his eyes now beginning to wonder down my body. I playfully slapped his cheek and forced him to look back up to my eyes.

“Listen perv.” I leaned forward and whispered into his ear.

As my chest rested against his I could feel his heart pounding. I pulled away and sat back into his lap, my hands resting on his shoulders.

“Did you mean what you said last night?”

Ryan’s eyebrows furrowed and for a second I thought maybe Matt and Jackson had been fucking with me the whole time. I know he could feel my hands getting clammy, my nerves kicking in big time. Swiftly, Ryan lifted me up and backwards off of him, my back meeting the mattress while his body now hovered over me. Tucking stray hair behind my ear, he then ran his thumb across my jawline; tracing. After a moment I propped myself up on my elbows.

“Ryan?”

He stayed silent.

“Ryan, please...” I whimpered, growing impatient.

This was the most awkwardly intimate moment Ryan and I had ever shared. The sex was always rough and fueled by alcohol and pot. I began struggling beneath him, subconsciously readying myself to run when he rejected me. Ryan snickered and squeezed my hips tighter with his knees.

“I love when you struggle Y/N.” He muttered, running a hand through his hair again. “But you know what I love more?”

My head was swirling and I was sure I died and went to heaven. I shook my head “no” and searched his face for an answer. The sly grin he once was showing slowly relaxed into a soft smile. He brushed his thumb over my lips.

“You.” He said, his voice barely audible.

Tears stung at the corners of my eyes and for a second the wave of nausea from before returned. Putting his weight on his knees, Ryan leaned down towards me..his lips ready to meet mine.

“WOOHOOHOO! OWH OWH!” Screaming, followed by loud banging on the other side of the bedroom door ripped us both from our bubble.

“Oh my god they were listening this whole time?” I groaned, covering my face with my hand. “Again?”

Lego’s barking now echoed through the house as Jackson and Matt continued to cheer. I looked back at a very confused looking Ryan, trying to ignore more embarrassment. Just looking at him brought me to an ease, setting all the feelings I had for him in stone.

Heaven. I never really thought it existed, until tonight that is. Call me a weeb, corny, lame, whatever you want but when she walked into the room every once and a while and she danced with herself as she chatted up friends it felt as if the earth stood still and I was in the presence of a goddess. It was Saturday and some friends and I had gone to a party for the night. She was dressed in tight light blue dress that was decorated in various Animal Crossing characters, gripping at her curves in all the right ways.  Her hair was twisted in loose curls that fell just below her breasts and her smooth skin gleamed just as bright as her eyes.

“Aye ya big goof, just go talk to her!”

Although Matt was sitting right next to me his voice had gone distant as soon as my mystery girl had entered my vision. A sudden hand waved in front of my face attempting to draw my attention back to reality. I blinked slowly and reluctantly looked in his direction, my mind refusing to draw away from her. “Her” I didn’t even know “her” name, I didn’t know anything about her but still I was instantly infatuated.

“What?” I half growled, irritated that he took my attention from her.

He raised his eyebrows shocked at my irritable reaction, and then smirked when he realized why I was so mad.

“Go talk to her.” He suggested pointing his head her way.

I slowly turned my head back towards where she last stood and felt my stomach fall when I realized that she had vanished again. My eyebrows furrowed with slight annoyance that I had missed my chance because Matt needed me to look at him. I forced myself up but not before pounding my fist into his shoulder. The slight buzz from the alcohol I had gulped down was beginning to take over and I could feel my vision growing blurry. I searched the house up and down trying to find the girl who flooded my thoughts since the beginning of the night but found no luck.

“Fuck.” I grumbled to myself stopping in front of the table full of alcohol.

Drinking probably wasn’t the best idea if I was going to talk to this girl but my nerves were shot already and I hadn’t even spoken to her yet. As I was pouring the whiskey into my glass I glanced up and noticed the girl from before standing right dead in front of me, her eyes examining my entire existence intently as if she were reading right through to my soul. A hidden fiery lust began to burn through my veins and I wasn’t paying attention to my glass that was now overflowing with Jack.

“Shit!” I cried as the sticky substance soaked my hand and the table.

The girl giggled timidly to herself as she watched me flail and panic to quickly clean up my mess. When I had gotten it under control I looked up to see her smiling at me from behind her hair, her alcohol glossed eyes gleaming beautifully under the dimly lit kitchen light.

“Am I funny to you yeah?”

I guess they don’t call alcohol life’s “liquid confidence” for nothing because the confidence that suddenly filled my mouth shocked even myself. The girl chuckled again and raised an eyebrow seductively.

“In fact,” She started, leaning closer to me.

My eyes tried not to avert to her cleavage that was protruding from the top of her dress but I failed which caused her to laugh again and my cheeks to burn a deep shade of embarrassment.

“You are quite funny.” She finished slowly standing straight up again.

She put her cup to her mouth and took a sip. A droplet of the drink sat dormant on her bottom lip, her tongue soon traced the plump pink flesh to clean it off and she made sure her eyes never left mine. Hunger filled her brilliant eyes and I could feel a hunger of my own pressing firmly against the inside of my basketball shorts. My head began to spin quickly as the burst of confidence from before began to drain quickly, nervousness filling its place.

“So…” She began again placing her cup down. “What’s your name Mr. Funny?”

Words trapped themselves in my throat as I picked my brain for what my own name was.

“R-Ry…Ryan…Ryan my friends call me Ryan.” I stammered from both nerves and the liquor that swam through my veins.

The girl smiled again and shifted in place so that she was putting all her weight on her right leg and the table.

“Well R-Ry-Ryan,” She mimicked playfully. “I’m Y/N.”

‘Y/N’…her name floated through my head rapidly. I thought of beautiful things, like sunshine and rain and fields and fucking her mercilessly right here for everyone to see. A harsh throbbing erupted through my groin at the thought and my breath hitched in my throat.  Y/N’s eyes slowly moved from mine down to my hips and she absentmindedly licked her lips again.

“Ryan.” She stated knocking me from my inappropriate thoughts.

My eyes met with hers again as words escaped me. She tilted her head upward and eyebrow rose.

“Follow me.” She demanded with another radiant smile.

Without a word or even a thought of detesting I made my way to her side. She put her hand in mine causing a shot of electricity to ravage my spine as she led me throughthe living room where the music was the loudest. My head was spinning more rapidly now and I felt as if I might explode. 

We ended up on the patio, a cool breeze sending a chill down my spine.

“You smoke?” Y/N asked as she plopped down at the little glass table.

I watched as she pulled a blunt from her purse and cracked it open with her thumbnail, spilling the tabacco guts into the bush behind her. Without a word I sat down across from her, watching as if she might disappear.

“What?” She asked, looking up at me from beneath her eyelashes, “Never seen the devil’s lettuce before?”

She finished packing the blunt with the all too familiar green substance and I couldn’t help but watch her run her tongue across the end to seal it. She knew exactly what she was doing to me.

Lighting it, she took a few hits then passed it in my direction. It was as if I never smoked before and I smoked every fucking day. Trying to keep my hand from shaking as best I could, I took it from her.

“First time?” She teased with a playful laugh, exhaling the smoke.

I couldn’t help but snicker as I passed it back to her, “I wish.”

We sat outside for what seemed like forever. My brain was finally able to comprehend sentences and by the time we finished the blunt it felt like we were long lost friends just catching up.

“You’re really cute.”

Her sudden compliment caught me off guard, causing me to choke on my cigarette. She giggled into her cup as she took a sip of her drink.

“I’m sorry.” She started, “That was really weird.”

Ha...weird? I’ve been obsessing over her the entire night and she felt weird?

“You’re joking right?” I blurted out, sounding more harsh than intended.

Her eyebrows pulled together with confusion and offense. Way to go Magee..

“Sorry.” I apologized quickly, throwing my cigarette butt. “It’s just you’re a fucking babe.”

She bit her bottom lip and stood up from her chair.

“Come with me.” She whispered, leaning into my ear as she passed me.

I obeyed silently as she led me back into the house and eventually down a darkened hallway. She didn’t even give me a chance to make a move as she suddenly threw me up against the wall towards the end of the hall, her mouth destroying mine. She bit at my bottom lip causing a throaty moan to escape from my mouth.

“Fuck me Ryan.” She ordered in a harsh whisper against my neck.

My hands grabbed and squeezed eagerly at every inch of her as we backed towards a door still attached to each other. We busted through not even checking if anyone was already occupying it and closed the door quickly behind us. I threw Y/N to the bed roughly, our bodies only parting briefly so that I could eye her up as she laid on her back, her breasts coming out of the top of her dress even more. I licked my lips and quickly put them on hers again. Soon they traveled to her jaw…then her neck…and then her collarbone as I left sloppy kisses and bites against her skin. I tore her dress down to her waist violently not being able to hold back any longer.

“Ryan.” She moaned as my mouth planted itself onto her right breast.

I bit and nipped at the skin making sure to let my tongue trace her perfectly hardened nipple. Slowly but surely I moved downward gliding my tongue down the valley of her stomach, stopping right at her hips. I heard her breath lodge itself in her throat as I got dangerously close to her core. My hands gripped her thighs, my thumbs digging into the inside of each one causing her to buck her hips upward. I moved back up to her face and her hands tugged at the top of my shorts. Our lips crashed together fiercely as I ground my hips into hers causing a more audible moan to come from her mouth. My shorts soon found their way to my ankles and I kicked them off, then sliding Y/N’s panties off from under her dress. We reconnected once again as I readied myself at her entrance.

“Come on funny guy.” She groaned eagerly, wanting me to enter her. “Show me what you’ve got.”

I smirked and raised an eyebrow, the tip of my cock now right against her slit. Her eyes widened, in complete disbelief that I was teasing her. She forced herself upward trying to push it in for me but I pulled away every time knowing it was driving her crazy.

“Please.” She begged. “Please Ryan just fuck me.”

Her begging set me off and with her least expecting it I plunged deep into her warm, and wet center. As her noises of pleasure grew louder and louder I pumped harder and harder into her, the headboard of the strangers bed surely putting dents in the wall.

“Ryan.” She cried, her walls getting tighter around me. “Ryan I-...I’m close already.”

I smiled against her neck and thrust into her as hard as I possibly could, surely about to break her. 

“Not until I tell you to.” I ordered, my voice shaking as I got close to my own explosion.

I pulled away from her neck and placed my hand over her mouth to keep any outside audience on the edge of their seats. Wrecking into her I felt her breath on the palm of my hand grow faster, indicating that she was right at the edge and unable to take anymore.

“Cum for me Y/N, cum!” I growled against her ear.

Soon enough she screamed my name into my hand, her muffled cry of ecstasy setting me off as well. I collapsed next to her, both of us breathing heavily.

“Christ.” She breathed heavily her legs trembling.

“I’m not just good at being funny.” I teased, my hand now resting on her thigh.

Y/N laughed her lovely laugh, which made my head continue to spin.