A Plea to my supermarket shopping friends...
I used to love doing the weekly grocery shop. Hand-picking all the best fruit, cashing in on crazy coupon deals, sneaking in a packet (or two) of tim tams and daydreaming about that first chocolate biscuitey hit as you wait in the check out queue. It was a part of our household weekly routine I really looked forward to. Sophia enjoyed sitting in the trolley as long as she had a lollipop or chippies to keep her happy.
As she got older and our family routine evolved we ended up doing shopping while she was at kindy, so for a time it was not part of her routine, but no harm done, right? Wrong. As I was to find out in the school holidays just past.
One happy December morning, I decided to do a bit of pre-christmas goody shopping. However, Sophia had other ideas. She refused to enter the local supermarket. She cowered behind me at the sight of it like I was taking her to some terrible place. I persevered with a reassuring hug, which was met with bloodcurdling screams and tears. We returned home, where she quickly reverted to my happy go lucky girl.
It took several weeks of walking the exact same route to the supermarket, firstly walking past it without stopping. Eventually she allowed us to stop outside the shop if I gave her a chocolate fish, all the time gripping my hand for reassurance.
One day out of the blue she dropped my hand and walked straight in to the supermarket like it was no big deal! As you can imagine, we bought every treat she picked up so she would remember the experience favourably for next time. Since then I have had minimal problems getting her to go inside the supermarket. For her it seems to be about consistency. So, now even on the days when we don’t need groceries we go in there (generally at the start of the day when there aren’t many shoppers around) and she gleefully runs up and down the aisles stopping only to look at the iced birthday ‘cakies’ and again in the pets aisle once to pick up and smell the birdseed and fish food!
She still refuses to go to another supermarket in our area. The screaming starts as soon as she senses we are turning off the main road into its carpark. She hasn’t been there many times, but the last time was on a really busy Saturday afternoon. It was a gala day and there was music blaring from loud speakers into the carpark, that was enough to tip off a massive meltdown without even stepping foot into the supermarket!
Sure the Supermarket music selection and the bruised produce might get you a bit hot under the collar on occasion, but to autistic children, this sort of environment can cause great anxiety. The fluorescent lighting, cool blowing air from the deep freeze, squeaky trolley wheels, not to mention the crowds of people can be really distressing.
Have you ever seen a child wearing sunglasses and/or headphones at the supermarket? They might be autistic. All this visual and aural stimulation, let alone being away from their home comforts can cause an overload which is very distressing. Some children feel actual physical pain from the harsh lighting. Isn’t that horrible? Some children will tolerate such environments if you bring something familiar with them (god bless the Ipad) that they can put their focus on to.
So my plea to you today, my friends, is to please think before you judge next time you see a child acting all crazy somewhere like a supermarket or mall. I have been the subject of many disapproving glares and ‘tut-tuts’ from onlookers in such places. They see a bratty kid with a lazy parent. Look a bit closer and you might find a frightened, overwhelmed child with autism and a parent teetering somewhere between tears and rage.
