#suo

You had never imagined agreeing not only to go outside with someone willingly, but to go with someone you just met.

The morning light burnt as you gazed through the window. Silently, you counted the minutes before you could leave this quiet cafe. Your apron was already long forgotten on a nearby chair. There wasn’t another soul in the abandoned cafe, except of course your and your boss. 

A boss who wouldn’t let you leave. 

“Patrol is about to be over soon, that means the Furin boys will be coming. Knowing them, it’ll mean I’ll need all the hands I could get,” Stupid Furin boys. Stupid patrol. Stupid boss. 

You rolled your eyes as you looked around at the practical jail cell you were in. It’s not that you didn’t like this job. No, it was the best you could get right now. A job where you just made coffee all day. Yet, the idea of doing nothing until a wave of people would flood through those doors scared you. Petrified you. 

The idea of people made you want to start bawling. 

People were never your forte. Everytime, you had to speak to a stranger it felt like your throat was going to close up. It felt like you were shoved into a stage and told to perform a script you didn’t know. It was exhausting. It was terrifying. It was your life. 

At the time, you thought you were just bad at talking to people. You didn’t realise you was terrified of being seen.

If you had the choice, you’d stay home all day. But, against your will, you were shoved out of the house and forced to make some money. So, you winded up here. Praying that the Furin boys wouldn’t show up before your shift ended. 

Unfortunately, life had other plans.

The jingle of the bell rang out like your verdict being announced. Your eyes widen as you see eleven or twelve boys all flood into the quint cafe. Whilst their heights all varied, their dark green jackets, accented with gold, only symbolize one thing. They were here. Furin boys. 

Their chatter filled the cafe as one of them confidently walks up to Kotoha to place an order for the group. Only to get yelled at for bringing in so many people without notice before hand. The rest of the group took a seat in the corner, taking up almost half of the cafe. Their green jackets all fading to one. 

Slowly you walked up to Kotoha, placing a hand on her shoulder lightly. Her eyebrows scrunched up and a frown was obvious. Her mouth parts slightly before you began to talk gravely. Your eyes shutting and head shaking. 

“I can’t do this. I’m going home,” 

As you turned around to face the exit, you felt fingers curl around your collar. Freezing cold nails press against the nape of your neck as you’re violently pulled back. Your shoes squeaking against the floor as you’re dragged back to your execution table. Eyes widening as you see the shadow of a frying pan glaring at you.

You try to fight the constraints, thrashing, shaking, anything to free yourself from faith’s grasp. Yet, it was all in vain. Dread began to settle in as you heard her laugh. A sadist, tired, murderous laugh. One that’s a mix between a gasp and a sigh. One that makes your skin crawl. One that signifies your end is near. 

“Going home?” Kotoha smiles at you. A sick threatening smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Her fingers move to grip your shoulder as your heart screams at you to run. “You’re funny, you know that?” 

She slowly situates you before the coffee making section. Patting your head softly as she orders you to make each order perfectly. Before leaving to finally place the pan on the stove, allowing you to breathe. 

Your hands soon find themselves lost in the process of making drinks. The usual coffee doesn’t take a genius to figure out how to make. Grind the beans, level it out, place it in the machine. If they want milk, you add milk. Otherwise, you’re done. 

The steps silently repeat in your mind as you make the 9th cup. You fall into a repetitive routine, your ears listening in to the various sounds of the cafe. A soft sizzling of the Omurice. The quiet chatter of the Furin boys. Yours and Kotoha’s synchronized footsteps. It was like a soft orchestra playing in the background of your monotonous activities. 

You turn towards the coffee beans to begin the 10th cup, yet something caught your eyes. You place the small brown beans down as you move towards the order sheet. Rereading the drink twice over, before turning to check with Kotoha. It was odd to see such an order. Especially from Furin boys. You had to triple check it before being able to start. 

“Kotoha, did someone order tea?”

“Oh yeah Suo probably did,” 

Suo. You’ve heard that name before. It floats through the cafe anytime a Furin boy does. Yet, you could never really tell who he was. 

To some, he’s terrifying and one of the strongest fighters they’ve ever seen. To others he’s a jokester. To the rest, he’s nothing more than the vice-captain to one of the classes. You weren’t one to base your opinions of someone based on rumours. 

But, when you can’t tell what’s real and not with someone, you kind of have to.

Your lips press together as you look through the various shelves for tea bags. Struggling to find it amongst the various other ingredients in the cupboards. Before finding the sole box filled with various tea bags. You pick the right one out, before placing it in piping hot water. 

It wasn’t often you did this. Most people around this area tend to prefer coffee. Maybe a few would like tea, but Kotoha normally handles those orders. So it’s always memorable when you did. 

You just didn’t realize how memorable this cup of tea would be 

The water turned a beautiful shade of amber. The faint colour swirling like paint. Throwing the tea bag away, you place the cup aside for Kotoha to deliver, before staring at the clock.

 A few more minutes before the end of your shift. A few more minutes till peace. A few more minutes till you’re free from these shackles. Yet, you weren’t tying up your apron. 

Any other day, you would’ve had one foot out the door. A silent plead to Kotoha to finally let you go. Yet, today you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t do that to her. 

You couldn’t leave while Kotoha was running back and forth between the counter and tables. You couldn’t leave while her hands were constantly being filled up. You couldn’t leave while a few more Furin boys began to enter the cafe.

So, you sigh. Picking up the tea and a spare omurice to deliver to the assigned table. Your hands shaking slightly as you double checked which table you were meant to go to. Your lips pressed against each other as you avoided colliding into Kotoha. 

Her hands, for once, were empty. You could back out if you wanted. Shove the food into her hands and run. It was tempting. Oh so very tempting. 

To be able to avoid human interaction? That would be a dream. You were able to avoid talking to any Furin boy ever since you started this job. You didn’t want that to end.

Yet, looking at Kotoha, you couldn’t bring yourself to. 

Your footsteps fall into syncopation of the flow of the cafe. Hands trying to stabilize the tea that is threatening to spill over. You sigh softly as you slowly make your way to the assigned tabled. Eyes looking up from the ground to face the Furin boys. 

You felt yourself stop. 

Your eyes widen momentarily as you took in the sight. The sight of one boy in particular. His beautiful maroon hair shining beautifully in the room light. An eyepatch that accented his outfit nicely, whilst concealing his right eye. A soft smile painting his features as he listens to his friends chatter. 

In that second, you debate running to kotoha. In that second, you question why you were even out here in the first place. In that second, you felt your soul leave you body. Why? 

Because no one told you that one of the Furin boys were pretty. 

You’ll be fine, were the words you deluded yourself into believing as you walked closer. As long as Suo wasn’t that unfairly attractive Furin boy, you’ll be fine. After, you could go back to hiding behind the counter, while maybe stealing a few glances at him. Everything will be fine. As long as he wasn’t Suo.

Your hands shook as you walked closer and closer towards your final act. You tried slowing your breaths. Tried counting them. Tried everything. Yet to no avail. The only thing soothing your pounding heart is the silent script you wrote in your head. 

A script that you completely forgot the second you stood before the table.

Six pairs of eyes stare up at you, wide and alert. Some looked as though they were judging you. Some looked as though they were shocked to see someone other than Kotoha. Some looked as though they could not care less. Yet, your eyes were drawn to one specific pair of eyes. 

Or rather a singular maroon eye. 

“One tea?” You lift the cup slightly as you await for the person who ordered it to make their presence known. Yet much to your dismay, it happened to be boy with the eyepatch. His smile polite yet sincere as he took the cups from your hands. Stabilizing it without another word. 

“Thank you miss,” His voice is soothing as he thanks you. He takes a single sip from his tea before his eye widden slightly. “This is delicious. Are you perhaps a new employee at Pothos?”

Delicious? The question had flown over your head as the compliment replayed in your mind. Sure you didn’t really make the tea, yet the simple words stayed in your heart, warmed the frozen organ hidden within. If you were quiet enough you could hear your heartbeat. 

Back then, a compliment about your work was only ever heard from Kotoha’s mouth. Often relaying a message from a patron. Yet, to hear it from someone first hand, made you smile. A silly little smile that failed to erase as you finally clocked out for the day. A smile that stuck with you till the next day as you walked to wards Pothos again. 

A smile that grew wider as you see the eyepatched man waiting outside Pothos. 

His hair looks to be a softer red in the sunlight as he tilts his head to the side. His eye glancing over the closed sign. Shoulders dropping in disappointment before he turned around. Noticing you. 

“Oh, you’re the employee who made that tea yesterday are you not?” Your eyes widen at the sudden act of acknowledgement. Before you offer a quick nod. His face seemed to soften at that fact. 

Soon, silence hung in the air. No words were exchanged as wind blew through your hairs. Eyes merely starting into each others as time seemed to tick on without you. 

“We arrived a bit too early haven’t we?” You say. Eye brows knitting as you stare at the closed sign hung upon the door. He sighs as he nods his head. 

“I suppose so,” he turns to look down at you with a hopeful smile. “I don’t suppose you have the key? You work here don’t you?” 

You sigh at his request, shaking your head. “I work here but, Kotoha is normally here before me so she always opens up the cafe,” You looks down at your watch, the numbers staring up at you. 

Your shift doesn’t start for another ten minutes. Most of the time you show up late, rarely ever on the dot. So to be early, well something must be up. 

Even this morning felt odd in terms of routine. You didn’t throw your clock against the door of the room. You didn’t have to spend half an hour hyping yourself up. No you only had to spend 20 minutes. 

It was almost as though you wanted to get up. You wanted to step foot out of your bed. You wanted to go to work. Something was up with you, and you couldn’t figure out what. 

Yet, you hadn’t the time to figure it out, for at your comment the eyepatched man walked closer to the door. Ran his finger over the key hole. Before sighing and shaking his head. 

“I’m afraid that it won’t be possible to pick pocket this lock,” he says shaking his head. His voice solemn. “No this is a special lock that requires a key infused with the souls of ignorant workers to open,” 

You stare at him for a moment. Rather lost on what he was saying. He shook his head as he stares wistfully at the lock. Sighing as he soon steps away. 

“I don’t think a key like that exists,” You say gently. Afraid of potentially offending this man. Yet, said man began shaking his head at your statement. 

“Well it must,” his finger lifts up to the eyepatch on his right eye. A small smile playing on his features. “The ancient Chinese spirit in my eye told me so,”

If anyone else had said this to you, you would of probably stared in digust. However, he said it with so much passion. His visible eye widening as his finger taps the bottom of the eyepatch. He looked far to earnest to ever lie. He’s much too much of a gentlemen. Right?

So, you instead looked concerned. You nod your head slowly at his points. Trying to make it sense in your head. Maybe this is why Kotoha never let you have the keys. 

“Ah I never introduced myself have I?” The man said standing up straight. His green Furin jacket shining in the light. “My name is Leonardo di Caprico, pleasure to meet you” 

Huh? You stare at the man who has now deemed himself Leonardo in confusion. Was his name not Suo? Did you perhaps confused him with someone else? He’s a foreigner? Oh what are some English phrases you learnt from at school? 

“Suo, stop lying to people about your name,” 

Your head turned to face the new comer. Kotoha. Her hand on her hip, as her fingers dangle the cursed keys. She rolls her brown eyes as she walks towards the doors. Unlocking it as she looks at the guy besides you.

“Am I lying?” His smile turns into a a face of innocents. Aloofness even. His head tilts to the right as he looks towards you. “Am I lying if that’s the truth?”

“I’m pretty sure this key doesn’t have cursed spirits in it Suo,” 

“It could”

Kotoha shakes her head in exasperation, before opening the cafe doors. She looks with a sincere smile. Nodding softly before heading in. Suo following in suit. 

Yet, you stood still for a moment, taking in the situation. Taking in what had happened. Taking in him. A small smile broke out on your face. 

So, that’s Suo Hayato. 

You soon find yourself walking into the cafe. Making a cup of tea that soon joined part of your daily routine. For, without either of your realizing, you both had became a part of the others lives. 

First, you’d both appear before Pothos before opening hours. Where Suo would spout nonsense only to smile at your naivety. Before you both spent the early hours of the day talking over some steaming tea. 

Then came walking to school together. As the clock clicks down to the start of school, it became frequent for Suo to walk with you to your school, before leaving for Furin. It was odd, Furin was on the opposite side of the area, yet you appreciate the sentiment. 

Soon, you both were texting eachother nonstop. Even thought you’d never even seen him touch his phone around him, your phone was always buzzing with messages. Your notifications filled of him. 

So it was only reasonable when you both had soon go on a date. Then two, then three. It only felt right. 

Of course it felt right. Suo was something words couldn’t explain. You didn’t know a single thing about him, yet you could talk about him for years. He never told you anything about his past, yet it felt as though you understood it. He lied about himself more than he told the truth, yet you knew who he was. 

He was someone who hated Natto but loved tea cakes. He was someone who hid his horrible drawings and art skills by sheepishly smiling. He was someone who was always there for you no matter what. He was Suo. 

You cared about him, whoever he was. 

For, he was fun. He gave colour to a monochrome painting of your life. He was unpredictable in a way that felt safe. He never was one to judge. He never looked at you with malice. Only harmless lies and praises fell from his lips. 

He made getting out of bed faster. No longer did you dread showing up to Pothos on a cold morning. Instead you felt yourself walking, running even, to go see that sweet smile once more. 

The subtle ache in your legs feel like nothing as your feet fall into a quiet rhythm. The mere idea of seeing him again allows you to walk past the once gray streets with a small bounce. The corner of your lips begin to lift as the familiar building of Pothos comes into view. Your feet slowing down as you scan to look for him. 

Only to see nothing.

Your throat seems to go dry as you look to the left, then to the right. Perhaps he was running a bit late? Yes, that’s a reasonable answer. You lean your head against the wall of Pothos as you watch the empty streets. Where nothing more than a gust of wind passes by. 

Your fingers wrap themselves around your wrist, as they slowly pinch your skin. The pain that followed only made you frown. Your eyebrows knit as you stare at the grey path beneath your feet. Your lips pursing together. 

He might have taken a wrong turn. He might have overslept. Or maybe he’s sick? No he can’t be sick otherwise he’d message you. 

You sigh at the thought of his messages. Or lack there of. The only thing that you see as your turn your phone is your familiar background. Your hands squeeze around the phone and you open up your messages. Sending a quick ‘are you ok’ message, that is left on delivered. 

You tilt your head back in defeat as you shut your eyes. It’s ok. It’s fine. It’s all going to be alright. Suo is capable of taking care of himself. He is ok. He is fine. He is going to be alright. 

Now the only question is if your predicting the future or deluding yourself. 

You slowly sink down until your knees are bent and your close to the ground. Your smile long forgotten as you watch the seconds on your watch tick by. Every moment moving painfully slow as you start to feel more worry.

Your eyes soon catch a line of ants moving across the pavement. You watch each one walk in perfect sync. The type of precision only achieved after years of practice. How would one of those ants react if one of them were to go missing? Would they continue their solemn march or would their entire world fall apart? 

“What’s up with you?” 

You look up only to be met with Kotoha’s looming figure. Her shadow walking past you as she goes to unlock the the cafe’s door. You sigh before pushing yourself off the ground. Only to drag yourself towards hell that is your job. 

“Where’s Suo?” Kotoha asks as she begins preparing the kitchen. You find yourself situated on a nearby bar stool as you try to come up with an answer. Only to wind up with nothing. 

“I don’t know,” You admit, leaning against table. Your eyes flutter closed as you could feel your heartbeat through the wood. A silent thump of worry. 

“Maybe he has patrol?” Kotoha asks, looking at your retracted figure with a worried gaze. She sighs as you slowly shake your head. 

“No he only has it in the afternoon,” 

“Maybe then he is meeting with some other Furin boys?” Once more you shake your head at her question. Your hands clenching against your knee in frustration. 

“No, the other boys are probably asleep,”

“Maybe he’s sick?” At this your mouth opens to counter argue, yet nothing comes out. He could be sick. Maybe he is resting and not checking his phone? 

Yet, it doesn’t sit right with you. It feels wrong to assume he’s just sick. It feels wrong to assume he’d let that stop him. It feels wrong to assume he’s asleep at home. 

Yet, it’s more logical to assume he’s asleep rather than to keep worrying. So, you stay silent. Quietly staring at the door. Praying for a certain knock to appear. 

It’s so weird to long for someone. You’ve spent years alone, so why does this alone sound so much more terrifying? A future without Suo doesn’t sound much like a future at all. Sure you had a lover now, but also means you have someone to lose. 

Perhaps that’s why you couldn’t find a reason to get up from the bar stool. Perhaps that’s why you couldn’t bring yourself to school. Perhaps that’s why, the second the final bell ring you ran to Furin. 

You ran as though you were a starved man presented with food. You ran as though you were given the keys to heaven. You ran as though Suo was standing at the other side. 

Your legs kept running as your bag bounced of your shoulder. The sunlight burning against your face as you kept pushing through. You had to keep running. Despite the weather, your ability to, your motivation. You must.

Because if everything is alright, he would be there at Furin. If everything was alright? He would smile at your appearance and slowly take hold of your hand. If everything was alright, you’d see him smile again. 

That was when you realized you were crying. Tears streaming down your face as you pushed through. Breathes turned into sobs. Pain tainted your very being. 

For you finally realized why those days seemed so much easier to live through. Why you could get out of bed. Why you didn’t dread the idea of people anymore. 

It was because you loved him.

Love. What a terrifying emotion. It hurts when you have it and it hurts when you had. Unfortunately for you, love seemed to begin to run the second you got comfortable with it. Leaving you falling behind.

“Kotoha, I miss him”

“I know”

… ————————————————————————

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