a post entitled âeris has five characters and she is very tired and her photoshop sucks so here is just a list of blurbies on themâÂ
meredith makepeace / 30, b-list actress, gemma artertonÂ
hi, this is meredith makepeace and she is drunk golden globes emma thompson except 24/7
her publicist would very much like you to believe meredith makepeace is a sweet natured english rose, but donât believe any of it â sheâs loud, outspoken and a fantastically charming drunk.
born in somerset, england and grew up on an apple farm. aka she learned how to make cider in her teens and has clearly benefitted greatly from it.
what iâm trying to say is merry makepeace can drink you under the table and kick your ass, no matter how dainty and darling she may look.
is most well-known for her work in period dramas â sheâs been estella in great expectations, elizabeth bennet in pride in prejudice, ophelia in hamlet, beatrice in much ado about nothing, a slew of historical queens and princesses and the list goes on. occasionally does other work, but is best known for period pieces.
has spent most of her career comfortably in the british film world but is currently taking her shot at hollywood. sheâs already an establish actress across the pond, but here sheâs more known as âthat girl from that movie i had to watch in english classâ than anything. or rather, she was before signing on to a number of big buzz roles (to name a few: sheâs set to be in poppy callisâ âbreakersâ trilogy, pam isley in an upcoming âgotham city sirensâ franchise, lady macbeth in macbeth and velma kelly in chicago all within the next 2-3 years.)Â
is a very outspoken feminist who does not keep quiet on indusry issues and is even more so not afraid to call interviewers and tabloids on their shit when they fuck with her.
very free-spirited and adventerous â the thing sheâs most excited for about her big move to LA is going on hikes, during which she will be trailed by all four of her adorable little dachshunds until the spoiled little brats refuse to go any farther and she has to carry them like babies -- and trust me, she will. because darcy, bingley, knightley and colonel brandon are her sons.Â
has a ~checkered dating life~ because sheâs very bad at commitment and very good at sleeping with her costars. the daily mail loves it and her publicist does not!! please give her a slew of past co-stars who she has slept with and is on good or bad terms with. merry makepeace is #slutty and she does not care tysm
lucy fehr / 31, b-list screenwriter + director + actress, jenna coleman
(tw for emotional abuse and mentions of eating disorders)
lucy fehr is the love of my life and the most precious angel on earth, donât let her name fool you.Â
daughter of a really nice composer and an absolute monster former daytime tv talk show host, lucy was born in melbourne, australia and spent 14 hellish years of her life there before her father had the good sense to divorce her mother and get his kids the hell away from her.
she, her dad and her two younger siblings moved to nyc, where he'd been offered a job at the new york philharmonic and lived blissfully at peace in their cobble hill, brooklyn home. finally free of her mother's manipulative and abusive clutches, lucy could finally flourish and spread her wings. brooklyn is where she learned to pour her soul out into writing.
lucy's estranged mother is a complexly evil figure in her life. vivian fehr was not a good woman, nor was she a good mother by any means, and lucy spent most of her childhood as her scapegoat. she mercilessly berated and manipulated lucy, going so far as to even restrict her meals to the point where she collapsed at school and had to be hospitalized for three days -- all because her mother thought she looked too "pudgy" in her uniform. her mother's emotional abuse left her grappling with bulimia from the ages of twelve to fifteen, and the inability to trust from the ages of seven to present.
her father divorced her mother soon after he found out what lucy had been enduring, and quickly moved the family as far away from her as he fucking could. she had a restraining order against her mother from 2007 until she died in 2015 from complications during a nose job (or as lucy likes to think of it: divine retribution.)
so as you can imagine!!! she's pretty damn damaged!!! lucy is brash, reserved and a little prickly when you first get to know it. it takes a while for her to warm up to people and it takes a miracle for her to trust them. she's sweet and lovely underneath all that residual trauma, but it's going to take you a while to see that part of her.
what most people can mesh with, however, is that she's incredibly passionate. she studied screenwriting at nyu tisch and orgininally meant to make a career out of it solely, before acting fell into her lap. it's a classic tale of kismet: her friend asked her to star in her thesis film, she said yes, and surprise! lucy's actually really good at acting!! with substantial coaxing she decided to take an actual shot at it.
she finally got back into screenwriting around 2013, and has been starring in films made from her own original scripts since then. her most current one, alice in wanderlust, just premiered at cannes and is attracting a hefty serving of oscar buzz.
lucy fehr is an indie festival circuit darling who is known for her cutting wit and raw, vulnerable performances. she's also known for playing joanna callahan in the hbo drama âdrownersâ -- which follows joanna as she tries to raise her four siblings after her deadbeat dad dies and her mother abandons the family.
she's attracted to characters who are just as damaged as she is, because it gives her an outlet to hash out her own problems in the process. lucy deals with (not "suffers from") major depression and borderline personality disorder and is a very outspoken advocate for mental health and healthcare reform. she's candid about her struggles with mental illness and she's not shy to admit she's not always on top of it!! being candid and public about her journey is what helps her manage it -- if she kept everything inside, she'd crumble.Â
she was engaged from 2010-2014 to her co-star of her first major movie, who she met in 2009, and he was the closest thing she's ever had to a good, stable relationship. until! you know!!! that all went down the tubes!!! there's rumours that one of them cheated, which aren't true -- realistically they just grew apart when she realized she couldn't give him the love he was looking for. her 2014 film 'mutually assured destruction' is largely based on their relationship (though she'd tell you it's based on her parents' marriage.)
after her engagement fell apart lucy kind of?? spiralled a bit??? she spent a few months off the grid living in a cabin somewhere in montana working on her next script and then came back ready to pretend nothing happened. because guess who isn't good at dealing with her emotions!!! this gal!!
lucy lives in LA with her cat little bastard (yes) and is currently in the midst of her directorial debut, a slew of other ambitious projects and in talks to direct and write an entire hbo series. she likes strong coffee, the odd occasion where she actually goes to be before 6am and italian neorealist cinema.
fawn harlow / 25, c-list model + designer, camille rowe
fawn harlow is the most effortlessly Cool girl you may ever meet, and it probably has something to do with who her parents are. and yes, she was born with that name.
daughter of british rock legend and frontman of âthe riotsâ richard ârexâ harlow (think mick jagger) and his parisienne model-socialite wife giselle devigny (who, despite all expectations, are still together and have been since â66), fawn harlow is a born and raised manhattanite whoâs used to having the world at her fingertips.
she spent most of her life in new york but has spent ample time living in both london and france. sheâs fluent in french because her mother would have a fit if she wasnât, and fluent in spanish because she spent six months in barcelona âfinding herselfâ when she was eighteen.
has no substantial claim to fame other than being the daughter of one of the most famous rockstars of the 70s. assumed the (alexa chung-esque) role of ânew york it girlâ in her late teen years and still manages a firm hold on the title. sheâs known for being a fixture at fashion weeks and being the moody Cool Girl in art films done by her friends. is essentially famous for her parents and chic shoe collection.
and for having a magnificent ass!
fawn has that unbothered disposition you might expect from a girl who has literally no worries in life. doesnât do much else from bask in the sun all day like a lazy housecat and drink wine on yachts. she is nothing if not a mix of flashy instagram pics and ennui.
is vehemently bisexual and open about her love life â she does not care if you know who sheâs dating or fucking. she cares when you send her death threats for being your favourite indie frontmanâs new arm candy, but she couldnât give less of a ratâs ass about your slutshaming.
you may know her best from her wildly successful modelling career. there was a 5 year period where no iD or nylon magazine was complete without mention of fawn harlow, and she still gets calls from her old photographer friends even though she doesnât care for modelling anymore. sheâs opened for chanel twice, been a saint laurent âmuseâ and is still one of the faces of dior.Â
fawn released her own fashion label âavelineâ this year at nyfw, which, to the shock of most, sheâs been painstakingly involved in. she has a degree from parsons and most people downplay that about her!! she actually cares deeply about fashion and puts a lot of work into her line, and is over the moon with the response her designs have been getting.
she dated george delaney of sour cherry for ages and still has the vehement shippers that insist that theyâll get back together one day. fawn would love that, but unfortunately sheâs currently dating someone else.Â
brie colby / 35, c-list actress & comedian, olivia wildeÂ
brie colby's parents knowingly named her after a cheese even though her lastname was already a cheese, so you can tell this sentient meme of a person was pretty much destined to go into comedy.
she doesnât come from a famous family by any means. the colbys are a starkly middle class family from chicago who are tight-knit and pretty embarrassing, but wouldnât trade their incredibly average lives for anything in the world.Â
school was never her thing, so she turned to comedy early on to make going to school more bearable. brie colby has always been the class clown, and no white boy named todd who tells a few fart jokes has ever been able to replace her.Â
she floundered in a community college for a few years before she decided to take a real crack at comedy. at first, she was just doing stand-up at comedy clubs and bars around chicago, but eventually one of her friends pushed her to actually audition for something.
and that is the story of how brie colby was cast in nbcâs smash hit âlibrarians.â
âlibrariansâ ran for 7 seasons and was based around a group of quirky librarians in a sleepy suburban library, shot in a mockumentary style a la the office or parks and rec. brie played susie sandler, who begins the show as a new, frazzled librarian and ends the show as the Top Bitch in the library.Â
sheâs starred in a number of other Funny Movies TM over the years, but librarians was always top priority for her. from the fifth season on, she had a small role in the production of the show and has directed several episodes.Â
brie, who affectionately brandishes herself #2Cheez, is the kind of person you canât help but love. sheâs warm and friendly and, most importantly, utterly hilarious. her brand of comedy is very self-deprecating and a little ridiculous, comparable to john mulaney with just a hint of iliza schlesinger.Â
if not from librarians, you might recognize her best from one of her two existing netflix stand-up specials (âcheesed offâ and âyes thatâs my real nameâ) or her guest roles on any number of funny tv sitcoms. she has another netflix special out this year called â2 fast, 2 cheesiousâ and it is bound to be a #hoot
married fellow sentient meme m. o. zarella ~5ish years ago and they are the power couple of Memes That Learned To Speak. her husband is an a-list actor who somehow is also a phenomenal dramatic actor and honestly sheâs surprised she landed that piece of ass too.
she has two kids with max - jack daniel zarella, who is 4, and bailey morgan zarella, who is one and a half. they absolutely named them after what they were drinking when they were conceived and honestly what did you expect from two people named after cheeses.Â
brie colby is also tragically lactose intolerant.Â
elizabeth âlibbyâ brewer / 25, a-list actress, daisy ridley
libby brewer is hollywoodâs newest darling and youâd better get used to that adorable little face of hers.Â
younger sister of the lovely and amazing nadia brewer, libby grew up always sort of wanting to act, but never thinking sheâd actually make a career of it. acting was something she wanted to try her hand at, but never anything she really wanted to hunker down with.
her first role was as young briony tallis in 2005â˛s adaptation of âatonementâ - she was 14 at the time and kind of landed the role as a fluke, but was branded as âOne To Watchâ pretty immediately because of it. though she wasnât nominated for anything prestigious, itâs still definitely one of her favourite roles.
after atonement, libby kinda dropped out of the acting biz for a while, secon-guessing herself and assuming she should do something ârealâ with her life instead. she went to nyu (following in her big sisterâs footsteps at least a little), but she majored in psychology.Â
because sheâd only been in the one film, she was lucky enough to go through her ânormal phaseâ pretty unscathed save for the rare recognition or two. she loved her time at nyu and she loved studying psychology, but something didnât feel quite right to libby, and she had a sneaking suspicion that sheâd made a bad choice by straying from acting.
aimless for a while after she graduated, one of her sisterâs friends mentioned in passing that she was working on a new film, and libby decided to take a look at it. she fell in love with the script and inevitably auditioned for it, and ended up getting the part. 2013â˛s âan honest manâ - set in the 1970s, following a former mob family that has to readjust to normal life after their patriarch and his gang are locked up and theyâre put into witness protection, was her big Proper breakthrough, and also a film thatâs super close to her heart. she felt a huge connection with adriana (her character in the film) because sheâd also been coping with readjusting to normalcy after she gave up acting, and being in front of the camera again felt like coming home.Â
the film was a huge success and quickly put her on every major producerâs watch list, and libby was suddenly dealing with profound fame sheâd never actually expected.Â
despite sky-rocketing to the a-list in only three short years, libby brewer is one of the most sweet, honest and humble people youâll ever meet (and she credits her sister and parents for keeping her this way.) she really loves acting and you can tell that she puts a lot of herself in every performance, always wanting to give the audience something worth their money.Â
she won her first and very coveted oscar last year for best supporting actress as olivia in âand my mother before meâ -- a film that follows a dysnfunctional new york family through the eyes and experience of three generations of its women. her performance was lauded as âunbelievably raw and honestâ and the film itself was highly critically acclaimed.Â
sheâs been in a slew of critically acclaimed films just like it in the past few years and has four out this year alone -- a mary shelley biopic, a modern remake of âstrangers on a trainâ, and adaptations of both âthe goldfinchâ and âwe have always lived in the castle.âÂ