i have eight poisoned apples and five regular apples in my bag and i don’t remember which is which.

arch’s absolute disgust at astarion during the last stream — where astarion tried to bite him which revealed he was a vampire — confirmed to me that i am dating a completely Straight, absolutely no-doubt Heterosexual man. like i’ll see him be all fruity with his homies and then astarion’ll flirt and he’ll recoil like he ate an extra sour lemon and i’ll nod and go okay it’s really just women for you, huh.

(playing chess) the lion does not concern themself with the strategy of others

lads can we believe that in last stream, arch cockblocked himself against easiest-target-in-the-game shadowheart? he did not get laid at the tiefling party

sticks and stones may break my bones but pans heat up my pancakes