#suncatchinglog

Bones

I visit Doctor’s Offices.

An X-Ray, then labwork

These horrible pains.

Knees, ankles, hands, joints.

Pressure, builds into burn, rippling sting

Back , shins, ribs, forearms.

Up and down the bone line, joints make sound.

Pop snap crackle, like old cereal

Rolling them, a personal boombox for animated sound effects

Stiffness starts,

pain medication stops working,

I lose the ability to concentrate.

Comfort comes from a boiling bath,

Submerged like lobster, till skin itches.

Falling asleep, ache crawls back in.

Pain compounds,

Anti inflammatories on routine like my grandma

And a segmented compartment organizer

Results come back normal

Except for a smooth digit on the

Right hand

Had nothing to say for itself except for its insignificance

Had it been asymptomatic

Did life drawing in class yesterday heres some of those

Thumbnails and Discussion Roughs for an art assignment

Mother Holding Hands with a Bottle

In your hand, loose,

glass gleams deep brown, it reflects against spottled skin

Your fingers, rough and clumsy know its texture well,

Long neck, sweating and cold fits palm’s shape

It’s halfway finished.

Departed weight signals your hand to twitch for the next

Stacked bottles, empty

Clutter in front of the table where I sit, dinner

Could have been 3 hours ago.

Meanwhile, I play with pieces,

broken glass

Cans crumple against my hands,

I push them together

Metal digs sharp Into my skin

Stinging.

I push harder

I splinter metal and skin together.

I mold cans like clay

to sculpt imitations of a you

Who is sober,

Says I love you,

Spends time cooking,

And dispels the

Slamming doors, stereo boombeats and

barking dogs

That cause the

Gnawing of my jaw

On most moonnights where I mostly wait

Down twelve stairs and to the right

Instead,

The now downed bottle is set,

Onto my plate.

I lick the rim and savour the taste

I went for bloodwork today and I met this reslly friendly old man who talked to me in line. He asked me if the animal keychains on my bags had names. I told him I didn’t and it made me wonder when I stopped naming things. I wasnt able to speak to him much after (I had accidentally gone a week too early and had to leave to a different lab) but it made me really happy that he had talked to me.

Ever since I have stopped wearing headphones I have been kinda waiting for that to happen, hoping for it even. It was a suncatching moment for me for it to actually happen.

My roommate also got me a really nice heatable plushie of a whale, which has been helping with my pain this evening and its been really good. I want to give it a name

Did some doodle concepts of stars with some pastels highlighters and fineliners

gonna use them for something later. Wanted to get farther but I am quite tired. Sorry to the star nerds theyre not fully accurate but i just took ones i liked

X rays came back normal, no bone pics yet but i am going to request them

I have an X-Ray today, eight different body parts (joints), and i am full of energy.

Walked here in half of the time it should’ve taken me, like something possessed. I feel a bit possessed.

Got eggs and cheese to kill time because im almost out, barely anyone was in the store. I forgot how much I love the early mornings. They come to me with an air of welcoming comfort that can only exist with the emptiness of the streets and the presence of the early sun.

I have plans for creative activities once I get home as well as breakfast, but I will not say them here as to avoid fulfilling satisfaction from saying the action before performing it.

Finished my Comparative Analysis today. 2 minutes before it was due i submitted it with some sources not fully cited because I figured I would have more time. It is what it is, I think I did a pretty decent job on it. It is 30% of my grade so I sure hope it is up to standard.

Also went on a walk, have been having a difficult time with one of my roommates and I am tempted to find another place to live. Ive been looking at rentals we will see if they get back to me.