#summerofonenine

Self destruct, self destruct, I hit the button

I didn’t mean to do it, I was hurting

Mid-life crisis, but I’m not old enough

Crying out for help-I’ve had enough!

I woke up & my life was in shambles

I quit my job, gave up on my family

I haven’t eaten in four days

I don’t feel hunger, I just feel rage

I found myself looking for love elsewhere

It’s whatever I want now, what do I care?

If I’m looking for trouble, I’ve certainly found it

Not to mention, a couple drug habits

I look in the mirror, I can’t recognize myself

Can’t sleep ‘cause I got you on my mind, baby tell me what should I do.

In the morning after finally dozing off, I know I’ll have dreamed of you too.

But do you feel the longing?

Does it make you sad?

& do you feel the wanting?

Does it make you feel good or bad?

Is this just a tragedy?

Am I stuck between right & wrong?

Can we just love each other casually?

Or is that chance long gone?

When you’re up late in the middle of the night, I know you’re busy with work.

But do you think of me, do you miss me, does it make your heart hurt?

& when you can’t sleep because your mind is racing, is it racing with thoughts of me?

Fast forward to the morning light, did you dream of me?

But do you feel the longing?

Does it make you sad?

& do you feel the wanting?

Does it make you feel good or bad?

Is this just a tragedy?

Are you stuck between right & wrong?

Can we just love each other casually?

Or is that chance long gone?

I wonder when I’ll see you again.

You’re busier now than ever before.

Sometimes I think this is our end.

I can’t bring myself to ask you for more.

Even though each time it seems final,

This isn’t the first time we’ve been through this.

Am I just in ice cold denial?

You see into my soul.

You feel the same way I do.

I know it must be true.

You’ll never say it out loud,

But yet you’re still around.

We live the lives we lead.

Can’t leave for any reason.

You’re here, just not quite with me.

This can’t be happening...

Just one smile, just one touch, a little look makes me insane.

& even if I want to leave, I just can’t get away.

You hold my feelings hostage,

Don’t think you even mean to.

But I can’t help myself, I’m crazy about you.

Is this just a game?

Are we still having fun?

Are we just causing pain?

Oh, what have we become?

Can we live with ourselves if we go through with this?

Will it be a hit, or just a bigger miss?

I feel your hand brush mine,

I feel you kiss my lips,

I see you in my dreams,

Heartbroken, before we crossed paths Hindsight is 20/20, don't look back To each other, lonely lovers gravitate The hell we live in, is what we create

Give me a sign, give me a way. Tell me just what to say. 'Cause I can't do this on my own. You're the one who makes me...

Did I wake up one day like this? Or has it been going on so long? Did it all happen in an instant?

If I could do it again, I'd probably do it all right. But I'm satisfied. 'Cause mistakes, Are what we have made. & to learn them, isn't to lose.

After all is said & done, I never wanted to blame you. I'm sorry for the pain, The one that I caused you.