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It’s May, in case you hadn’t noticed, which means over in Hollywoodland it’s officially Summer Blockbuster season. We’ve already had a few breakout hits this year, from the truly excellent Project Hail Mary to, er, well, I haven’t actually seen The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, so let’s move right along to the recent Michael, which, er…
Anyway, films that make a lot of money are great, aren’t they? And I’d argue the season really gets underway this month with the release of The Mandalorian and Grogu, the first Star Wars film since the universally adored/potentially-franchise-destroying The Rise of Skywalker (delete as appropriate) in 2019. A brand new Star Wars film! I’m excited. Aren’t you excited? No? Oh well. It doesn’t matter, because Hollywood will keep delivering great big stonking, expensive films for us, custom-engineered to give us a good time. And, of course, make a lot of money.
I’ve been “into” film for over thirty years now, reading about the industry and watching a lot of things at the pictures. And it’s been fun in that time as Hollywood has gone from tentatively giving a success one diminishing-returns sequel, to chasing the platonic ideal of a “trilogy”, to trying to establish a huge cinematic universe. Truly, no ambition is too great. And, y’know, I’m being snarky, but I was really excited for everything from Men in Black II to The Matrix Revolutions to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Genuinely! So it makes sense that if there’s something great out there, we’d like a bit more. Sure, okay, every now and again the industry will put the cart before the horse and we end up with Universal’s “Dark Universe” of non-existent interconnected monster movies. But I watched Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice this week, and – no spoilers – it could have a sequel very handily, even though the director has insisted that wasn’t his intention, and I’m not going to lie, I’d be quite into it if they did make Mike & Nick & Nick & Nick & Alice or whatever.
So amongst all the Shanghai Knights and Meet the Little Fockers it’s often quite surprising when there’s a great big movie – especially a good movie, especially a successful good movie – that doesn’t get a sequel. Now, I’m definitely not saying we need to sequelise everything: it’s actually very refreshing to just get a one-and-done story. And, of course, if they’d just stopped at Terminator 2: Judgement Day we’d all have been much better off (apart from Schwarzenegger’s accountant, presumably). But sometimes, like a say, it’s surprising just to get the one instalment of what could have been a franchise. And – hey – in some cases, it’s not for want of trying!
This week, then, to kick off blockbuster season, I’m taking a look back to the films of the (semi-recent) past, and thinking: what could have had a sequel? I’m trying to be realistic here and think of films that had a great premise that naturally lent itself to more stories; I like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but I’m not really sure what a sequel to that would look like (er, unless it ends up looking like Disclosure Day, I guess). But very often there’s a cool premise or interesting characters, and you would be up for another trip in that world.
Now, I understand why some films don’t get sequels. A couple of these films, for instance, were considered disappointments – at least financially – at the time of their release. And that’s discounting whether any of the talent involved would want another go around anyway. there are other films, not on this list, that I’d be interested to see another version of – let’s say Wild Wild West, for instance – but I’m not certain I’d like an actual sequel because the first one was, well, a bit rubbish. Or it’s got, like, Johnny Depp in it or something. Also, I’ve tried to think of films that aren’t really a part of some other media already; you might want a sequel to Dredd or The Rocketeer, but those were pre-existing works before the movies came out, and already have a long life elsewhere. These were all – as far as I’m aware – original screenplays. I almost had Edge of Tomorrow on here, for instance, until I remembered it’s based on a comic (which I own!).
Anyway, that’s enough of my waffle. Let’s get on with it. We’ve only got one shot at this…
Ten: Timecop (1994)
A genuinely enjoyable, if very daft, sci-fi action film that centres on a terrific premise: officers who police the timeline, preventing manipulation of the past and chronal chicanery. The groundwork, and the rules, are all established here; and at the time of release, Jean Claude Van Damme was certainly a big enough star to carry a sequel. I mean, considering how many Universal Soldier movies they made, with and without JCVD, it’s surprising we never got Timecop 2. But it’s languishing at the bottom of this list because technically they did make a very short-lived TV show spin-off. But let’s face it, a movie would have been better.
Nine: Inception (2010)
I think it says something for the power of Christopher Nolan that even sixteen years ago he had the clout to make a massive, original sci-fi blockbuster that grossed nearly a billion dollars… and seemingly no one wanted to sequelise it. The setup is ripe for continuing adventures, too: a team of high-tech criminals who invade people’s dreams. The film spells out all the logic, and how that can lead to exciting set-pieces such as the famous rotating corridor sequence. Now, yes, it does have a famously enigmatic ending that I would not want messed with; but you could definitely have had more fun with the premise or the world. But this film is at nine because, really, we should celebrate these one-off, individual ideas more; I wouldn’t want anyone but Nolan really having a shot at Inception 2: Dream a Little Bigger, Darling, and it’s kinda nice at the end of the day that we just had this one spin of the top. But if I could plant an idea in Chris’ head…
Eight: Commando (1985)
When I started writing this list I was a little bit worried it would just degenerate into a bunch of Sly and Arnie films from the eighties; those guys made a lot of – frankly pretty cool – one-off action movies. Nevertheless, Commando feels like it could have been the beginnings almost of a Rambo-style franchise for Big Arn. His John Matrix is just the right mix of badass cool and preposterous silliness; he gets cool one-liners after he kills people (“He’s dead tired”; “I let him go”); and, yes, there is outrageous and over-the-top action. A Commando sequel was, apparently, in the works for a while, and Arnold has even suggested it still might appear; but it would have been cool to see Matrix once more dragged out of retirement with Chenny forty years ago.
Seven: Event Horizon (1997)
It doesn’t have to be big, explosive action movies that deserved a sequel. Horror movies often start big, long-running franchises; and Paul W.S. Anderson’s has the benefit of being both an intensely creepy, demonic horror film of both supernatural and psychological chills, as well as a cool sci-fi with great production design, modelwork, and – yes – some big explodey bits. Famously a critical and commercial flop on release, on the one hand it’s unsurprising it never got a sequel; and, indeed, it has a great ending that doesn’t need unpicking. But a follow-up featuring the return of the Event Horizon? I’m kinda surprised they didn’t even try it as a straight-to-DVD movie in the mid-noughties.
Six: The Last Boy Scout (1991)
This is another one that could have been said to underperform, hence no sequel. But another big Shane Black-written action-buddy-comedy – Lethal Weapon – ended up with three sequels (and Mel’s threatening a fifth), so it’s a shame this delightful, knockabout, hilarious little film only had one go. Bruce Willis is slobby, grumpy, and very funny; Damon Wayans is cool; and it does some good work undercutting its own badassedness (Willis begins the film learning his wife’s having an affair). I’d have loved to see them trading barbs and punches one more time.
Five: The Fifth Element (1997)
Oh, hey, welcome back, Bruce. I’m gonna deal with the elephant in the room right away and say I’m not really in any rush to see another Luc Besson film; but this film had such a cool, unique sense of style and identity that I do think it’s a shame we only got to experience it once. It’s hard to imagine now, but for the longest time we didn’t get complete sci-fi worlds: this film came out before the Star Wars prequels, and gridlocked hovercars in a futuristic cityscape was mind-blowing, visually, before we even got to the really trippy stuff (like Gary Oldman’s accent). The film does feel rather wrapped up, plot-wise, to be honest, but that never really stopped the likes of Star Wars, so I’m sure some other space-nasty could see Corben Dallas and Leeloo venture out once more. Not now though; let’s leave it be. Circa 2000? Yeah, I’d have been down.
Four: True Lies (1994)
Yep, Arnold’s back. This spy movie is, in many ways, something of a Bond parody: it’s certainly very funny, with the playful back-and-forth between Arnie and Jamie Lee Curtis, inept terrorists, and Tom Arnold providing wisecracks. Yeah, okay, there are some dodgy, dated bits; but there was certainly enough here to suggest further adventures for Harry and Helen Tasker, especially with an ending that basically establishes her as his new partner. And it’s not as if James Cameron is against sequels! And this film was a huge hit at the time, as well. Oh, and I am aware that after claiming these were all, to the best of my knowledge, “original” films, True Lies is a remake. But, y’know, the sequel would have been original!
Three: Galaxy Quest (1999)
A delightful sci-fi comedy that, like a lot of these films now I come to think about it, succeeds on the strength of its characters. It’s also another film that ends with our heroes off on more continuing adventures: they’ve got their TV show back, and there’s a whole galaxy out there that they’ve just prodded a stick at. Who knows what other weird aliens could come crawling out of the cosmos? Basically, another, er, quest through the galaxy would totally have made sense, and it’s not as if they’re having to pay a Schwarzenegger-sized salary to anybody. Incidentally, Tim Allen had this and Toy Story 2 in the same year, which is an incredible achievement for anybody, let alone Tim Allen.
Two: The Rock (1996)
In a way, The Rock is very one-and-done. I mean, how many times do terrorists take over Alcatraz and you need to team up a mild-mannered chemist with a sexagenarian secret agent to break into an unbreakable prison? It’s a fantastic high concept for a fantastic action movie, but it doesn’t lend itself to further adventures. On the other hand, the film ends with Nicolas Cage’s Stanley Goodspeed in possession of a sensitive government data; one could imagine him going on the run and needing Sean Connery’s help to get the goons off his back. Or maybe John Spencer tracks down Connery’s supposedly-deceased John Mason and Nic has to run and warn him? Whatever, it’s the characters – and the slightly-OTT world they inhabited – that were the real stars; and there was enough there to allow for a further bite of the apple. And y’know what? Even though some of the principles are sadly no longer with us, I’d still get excited if I heard Cage was gonna tell someone they were the Rocket Man one last time.
One: Demolition Man (1993)
This one has it all: a fresh and distinctive sci-fi setting; the sort of procedural status quo that allows for new adventures; a fresh hook – defrosted super-criminals! – that can sustain more than one story; great characters; and big action superstar from the eighties. It’s shocking, really, that we never got more than one Demolition Man. What became of the future after the death of Dr. Cocteau? Who else was put in the cryo-prison? What’s the rest of America like if San Andreas was so seemingly perfect? And, most importantly, how do the three seashells work? Okay, yeah, maybe some of the quirkier “perfect future” edges would have been sanded down; and, again, it’s nice to have this one shining gem of a mid-nineties action movie. But unlike the future worlds of Blade Runner or RoboCop or The Terminator, we’ve only really visited San Andreas once, and on balance that’s a bit of a shame. Even if Stallone in Judge Dredd was almost a photo negative reproduction, it still wasn’t quite the same. Be well, John Spartan. Be well.
Y’know, if nothing else, this has been a bit of a nice retrospective, nostalgic look back at films mostly from the nineties. I did flirt with newer films – Baby Driver, for instance – but their very “newness” (relatively speaking) counted against them; if Edgar Wright announced Baby Driver 2: Baby’s Day Out, we wouldn’t be all that surprised, whereas Beyond the Event Horizon would be a bit of a shock. All the same, looking back at these films, and how excitedly I invented sequels in my mind, was quite a fun exercise. We must do this again sometime!
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When presented to our focus groups, four clear contenders for our next summer blockbuster were chosen. Have your say! Choose between: Tex-Yeti: Pirate Ghost Ranger, Capt. Grimskull and The Galley of Pirate Ape, NAMSQUATCH! or Tarzan Prime: Laser Ghosts of the High Seas Be Damned.
We saw the Barbie movie the weekend it came out. I posted about it the second I got home. I was emotional and raw and enraptured by what I had seen on screen. So naturally I couldn't stop thinking about the film and had to go see it again on my birthday!
The second viewing of this film offered me a little bit more critical analysis, as I knew what was coming. I could still enjoy the emotional highs and lows of the film without being wholly swept away my the spectacle of it all. I am not saying feeling that way during a film is bad, not at all! I actually think it is a good thing! It's just nice to sometimes step away from that feeling and watch a movie through a different lens is all. Because I knew were the biggest reactionary moments of the film were owing to having already seen it, I could focus in closer on smaller things about the film that make it great as well.
In our second viewing, we attended with a friend who had been wanting to see it. At the end of the film, I asked her what her favorite part of the film was. She hesitated and answered "Gloria's speech." I told her that I think she is saying that because she feels she has to say that in order to appear like a Good Feminist, Part of The Sisterhood. I explained that yes, Gloria's speech is very important and amazing but it does not have to be your favorite part of the film because the whole film is feminist. She relaxed a bit then and said "Honestly, it was actually Ken's story line."
This interaction made me a little sad. I think a lot of folks that read this will think that I didn't like Gloria's Speech and that could not be further from the truth. I actually think The Speech is the best part of the film, it just isn't my favorite part. Her speech is important. It helped my partner, who is amazing in a lot of wonderful and unexpected ways, that there are parts of being a woman that they do not fully understand and never will. They said Gloria's speech reminded them that feminist allies still have a very long way to go.
For me, Gloria's Speech does what Barbie and Crew says it does: speaks to the cognitive dissonance required to be a woman in modern society. I do consider myself a feminist and I will always support my sisters. I will never exclude my trans and non-gender conforming sisters. I will never tell another person what they can or cannot be. So long as they believe in freedom of choice and dismantling societal norms that tell us what we can and cannot be, can and cannot do, based on our gender or sex, then they are good by me.
But Gloria's Speech also falls under the dangers that Gloria talks about trying to avoid. In our modern feminism, if I do not say that Gloria's Speech was my favorite moment, I am a Bad Feminist. I think we, as a society, need to really examine that way of thinking. There are so many rules to being a woman, and to being a feminist, that it becomes nearly impossible to navigate doing so without being the subject of ire and outrage, even from other self-described liberal feminists. Its painful and confusing to me that I would be seen as less than for something like this, but it is reality. And this, to me, is what that speech is actually about. Gloria's Speech is important and I stand by saying it is the Best Part of the Film. But do not think less of me or anyone else because it was not listed as the favorite part of the film.
An interesting conversation that has been had multiple times in my very forward-thinking, inclusive, artistic, feminist circles is about how problematic Ken's story line is. This is something I do not understand coming from the pockets in my life that it is. One of my friends said that "Ken's story line has nothing positive or constructive to say to the young men of today." ...What the fuck movie were they watching?
The second viewing I had of this film, I paid extra close attention to what Ken and the Kens were up to and honestly I just fell in love with it even more. Ken feels like he doesn't matter to Barbie, and all he wants to do is matter to Barbie. All he wants to do is be the man in her life because he believes that is his actual purpose. This is a rhetoric and trope we have seen in films since the birth of Hollywood, but it is almost always thrust upon the female lead of the film. Seen as either accessory or foil to the male protagonist, and treated as such, her entire identity within the film centers around her existence to the man in her life. Ken's story line is taking an age old trope and flipping it to prove a point. We can all exist as our own, fully realized people, without needing to define ourselves through the eyes of others. Ken's story line also shows that there is power in having a fully accepting, supportive community, that encourages personal growth, and encourages everyone to just be themselves. All I want for all men everywhere is to know that they are enough just the way they are. They can like horses, and wear a cool headband, and like fringe jackets, and drink brewski-beers, if this is all what brings them joy. If people walked away from Barbie thinking that Ken's story line is problematic, I think it might be time for them to reflect on exactly why they think that is. Why does it bother them that a man was portrayed in the same fashion that women have been portrayed in films for a century now?
Everything about Barbie feels intentional. The world building, the set dressing, nearly every line of dialogue, serves to prove a point, without feeling condescending. It's fun on its face but also gives the viewer a lot to think about, and asks society to examine the beliefs that we have. This movie is both smart and fun, very fantastical and very real, very empowering, and very thought provoking, all at once. This film is monumental. This film is amazing.
Okay I am tired now. I am going to get dressed for my hair appointment and find myself a cupcake. Bye!
Barbie was lit. Sometimes a little heavy-handed with the overall message but definitely a good movie. I had fun. I said that the movie was gonna be self care on the big screen and I was right. 8/10. Will watch again.