#summer 08

Joshua nodded carefully and ran his fingers through the sand.

“…It’s you…” he then said softly.

Malik looked at him, “Yes, I had a feeling it might be…”

“So… Do you hate it…?”

Malik shook his head, “No. If anything, I’m flattered.”

“…But you don’t feel the same, do you?” Joshua asked.

Malik sighed deeply, “I don’t really know, Josh. The truth is, I like you. I like you a lot. And I’m so glad you’re in my life. You’ve become very special to me really quickly. You’re kind and funny and hugely inspirational. So yes, I feel things for you. But is that romance? Is it attraction? I have a lot of trouble defining things like that…”

Joshua shrugged, “Yes, I understand… But do you… maybe… slowly want to figure it out together?”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Josh… And I can’t promise you anything…”

“I know. I take my chances…”

Malik seemed lost in thought for a moment.

“… Okay… Let’s explore what this is together…”

Joshua smiled at Malik, and Malik carefully smiled back.

For a few minutes, the sound of the waves was the only thing breaking through the silence.

“Malik?”

“Yes?”

“In the interest of exploring, I would really like to kiss you… would that be okay?”

Malik swallowed and then nodded, “Yes… I want to see how that makes me feel…”

“I can’t believe this night!” Josh exclaimed happily. “First a concert, now I’m at the beach! A year ago, I would never have been allowed to do all this!”

“So why did your mother become so much more lenient all of a sudden?” Malik asked.

Joshua chuckled, “I wouldn’t say it was suddenly, really, but after my runaway sister came back, it was like a wake-up call or something. She took it like God giving her a second chance, I think. To give her children a bit more space to be themselves so that maybe they won’t run away,” he laughed.

Malik laughed with him, “Now that’s a God I can get on board with!”

"Shall we sit down? We've been walking for quite a while now..."

“Can I ask you something personal?” Malik said.

“Sure,” Joshua shrugged, “There isn’t much I wouldn’t tell you, I think.”

“Are you really over your crush on Joel…?”

Joshua sighed and then nodded, “Yes. I truly think him and Kyra getting together sped that up.” He smiled, “To be totally honest, I kind of like someone else now. It’s probably a hopeless case again, but oh well…”

Malik shook his head, “You don’t know that for sure. You can never know what’s going on in someone else’s head. And I meant what I said earlier: you’re a great guy, Josh; anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

Julliet smiled lightly, “Sometimes, my loves, strength isn’t in fighting. Strength can also be in taking a step back, in acceptance. Sometimes your heart just needs to cry for a while and then it can start healing.”

The sisters looked at each other, neither really knowing what to say.

“Well…” Sadie then said after a few moments of silence, “Then… maybe… we should go do something to take your mind off it? Go for a spa day or something? I can go on holiday a day later, and we can have a girls’ day tomorrow?”

Esme nodded, “Yes, let’s do that. Cheer you up a bit, mum!”

But Julliet shook her head, “I really appreciate you girls wanting to do this for me, but at the moment, I just need to be in my own space for a while.”

Esme sighed, and Sadie nodded.

She wiped it away and looked at Sadie, “The timing was, of course, awful, my love, with your concert coming up today. Please don’t blame your father for not coming. He really wanted to be there, but I… I can’t see him right now, so he stayed away to give me space… We also agreed I would tell you what happened. He’s still your dad, and he loves you girls. He wanted you to know you can always call him…”

“Oh, I’m going to call him alright and give him a piece of my mind!” Esme snapped angrily. “Is he totally crazy? What the actual fuck is this? You don’t give up on nearly 25 years of marriage for some crush!”

“Es, please…” Julliet said softly, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Oh, come on, mum!” Esme snarled, “Aren’t you pissed? Are you just planning on giving up on nearly 25 years of marriage just like that?!”

Julliet said nothing but just bowed her head in silence.

Esme gave Sadie a worried look, and Sadie sighed.

“I do think Esme has a point, mum…” she said, with as much calm as she could muster, though she was also fuming on the inside, “You’ve always been such a strong woman; why are you not fighting? Why are you taking this lying down?”

Julliet spoke softly and calmly, “For quite some time now, I have known something was going on. Your father would often come home much later than usual, and his behaviour changed, too. He was suddenly buying new clothes and using products in his hair…”

“I noticed that!” Esme interrupted, “I just figured it was part of some midlife crisis thing.”

Julliet nodded, “So did I at first, but something wasn’t adding up. Two weeks ago, while he was in the shower, a message came in on his phone. I noticed it by accident; it was from ‘Linda’, and she said, ‘Have you figured out an excuse for your wife? I can’t wait to see you.’” Julliet shook her head, “Those words have been dancing in my brain ever since I saw them…” She bit her lip and then continued, “So, when he got out of the shower, I confronted him about it. We had a fight because he felt I shouldn’t be looking at his phone, which, of course, wasn’t the issue here. He denied Linda was anything more than an acquaintance, but as time went by and we had more discussions about this, eventually he had no choice but to admit the truth; Linda is someone he’s met through work and…” Julliet paused and closed her eyes. It was clear she was fighting back a lot of pain and sadness. “…they have fallen in love and want to be together…” A tear rolled down her cheek as she spoke these words.

When they sat with tea later, Esme and Sadie looked at their mother in anticipation, and Julliet took a deep breath, “Okay, here we go. The thing is… Last night, your father and I decided it would be better if he moved out. So, he packed up his things and left…”

Sadie could feel all colour draining from her cheeks and stared at her mother in shock and disbelief.

“HE WHAT?!” Esme shouted, jumping up.

“Please sit down, love, and let me explain.”

Esme lowered herself back into her seat, still looking angry.

"Mum..?"

“My girls.” Julliet smiled somewhat sadly, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you both.”

“What’s going on, Mum?” Sadie asked, looking concerned.

“Wait, let me get you some tea first, then I will tell you all.”