Not So Thankful || Self Para featuring Jay Merit
Jay: "The 22nd? Damn, that's not too far off from now.." Spite the sarcastic demeanor that carried in his voice, Jay looked away from Sugar. His eyes scanned into the kitchen where his father seemed to be rolling silverware alongside Rory. They were chatting back and forth, about something that Jay hadn't the slightest bit about. Piddle laid at their stepmother, Rose's, feet as she spoke loudly on her cell phone from, what Jay could tell, was her mother. Even the smell of warm delectables soaring through the large Cincinnati townhouse wasn't enough to light a spark in his sister's eyes. She smiled and carried on, as she had, but he knew once he got the chance to speak to her alone, it'd be a different story. The two had wandered in front of the toasty fireplace, making small talk until Jay's bold nature took over and he immediately took the chance to ask her when Rory was officially moving out of the country. As far as Jay could see, Rory had never really 'moved in'. His foot was always halfway out the front door, even if Sugar hadn't seen it as clearly as Jay had.
Sugar: Her eyes hadn't left the fire as it flickered, almost taunting her as the flame whisked around. "Yeah. He's flying back with a friend and..sending for a few of his bigger things that his parents had shipped over a few months ago. He said he's not in a rush for those things." Sugar's voice was monotone, lifeless as she spoke about what was to come after she were to graduate. It all seemed far too 'deja vu' friendly, but what she knew was any hope she'd carried for her relationship with Rory. Bittersweet, but it had to be done. "I feel almost sad that he won't be here for the Holidays. Then..I remember he won't be back at all.." Her eyes unglued themselves from the hearth of the fire "I know it's what he wants and I want it for him but...things changed for him ever since the accident at the bar. Ever since then, he just really drew into himself and..he was so far that even I couldn't get him out. If he hadn't gotten hurt, I know things would've gotten better between us." Crossing her arms, most defeatedly over her small chest, she looked up to Jay with pleading eyes.
Jay: "Sis, I get it. The holidays are when I miss Madeline and..Alisha the most. Not because I don't have any memories to look back on, but I see all the family crap on television and..I feel like I should've got the chance to do that too." Jay's voice grew quiet when laughter was heard from the kitchen, followed by Rory's voice commenting on something or another. He was about to yell back, something of smart-alec nature, when Sugar spoke up again. His mouth went dry, right around the time when Sugar mentioned Rory's accident in which Jay was one hundred percent aware that it hadn't been an accident whatsoever. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the pent-up rage, the rapture of his knuckles as they planted into his face, and the sounds Rory made as he beat him over and over again. Then, it relieved him of stress and the anger that boiled inside him but now? Guilt and shame raced through his blood. He'd been thinking more about it lately when Sugar had first mentioned Rory leaving Chicago. Now that he knew Sugar blamed that day, on that he caused, he could feel the confession curling up out of his throat just as the two were called into the kitchen. Sugar walked away to leave him contemplating to himself. Whether it was that day or the next, the countdown started for when he would finally speak up.
