#subwaydash

Image represents Milo holding two phones.

It started off like any other dash—simple, straightforward, no surprises. We got a ping for a Subway order, and we were ready to roll. Easy, right? Except... the address the app gave us was completely wrong.

It promised to be another slow day, so Milo decided to head to the mall. It’s always busy there, but because of the 82/46 diverging diamond construction (as mentioned in The Wahaka Taco Dash), we usually avoid it. But with a quarter tank of gas and only a $4.44 order under our belt, Milo was willing to put up with the mess.

We got the notice—Subway, with an address listed on Main Street. Milo did a flip in the Spectrum parking lot, and we headed in the direction of the address. I pulled up the map to double-check, and instead of showing Subway downtown ahead of us, it had the location to the upper left. Strange. I hit the directions button, thinking maybe it was in Niles but had a Warren zip code.

So down North Road to DeForest, we went. Then the app wanted us to turn onto a little gravel road, known locally as Porter’s Off DeForest—the spot for the old Porter’s Auto Wrecking lot where they keep older vehicles.

"Not right, Ad," Milo said, passing by the gravel road without hesitation. "I'm going to the downtown Subway."

"Okay, I’ll call to make sure," I replied.

I called, and the guy at Subway listened as I explained the situation. “Yeah, they have us in the wrong place. Happens all the time with Dashers,” he said, sounding almost bored with the whole thing. I told him we’d be there soon and hung up.

As we headed down Pine towards downtown, I pulled up the help options on the app and found the chat with support. I explained to the AI what was going on, and it connected me with a human—except there was a 2-minute wait. Great. We pulled into the Subway parking lot, and I hung up the chat, selecting the option that said my issue wasn’t resolved due to long wait times. At least now, I could get the customer’s real address.

I put the address in my phone, set it down, grabbed Milo’s phone, and entered the store. The same guy who helped me on the phone was there, with the order ready to go. He advised me to call support to get the order manually completed.

So, I call support on Milo's phone. The account is in his name since he’s the licensed driver, so I’m the one waiting for VIP Dasher support. After a moment, the phone rings with an incoming call from DoorDash. I switch over, thinking maybe I should’ve just waited for the chat support to call back.

I explain the situation to the support lady, and she promises to call Subway to confirm the order so I can proceed. Meanwhile, the other line I dropped has most likely hung up—can’t blame them, all they got was dead air.

The support lady hangs up, and we settle in to wait for her to do her thing. I pull up the customer’s info and get ready to send them a quick update. But before I can, DoorDash pops up again with another incoming call, taking over the screen. I hit answer and put it on speaker.

This time, it’s the dead air support guy, who very politely asks what my issue is. Milo stifles a laugh beside me, making me wonder what kind of expression I must have had on my face. Keeping my voice as level as possible, I explain the situation—again.

He goes through the steps for reporting the wrong address in the app with me, thanks me for being a valued platinum Dasher, and disconnects. At this point, I can only shake my head.

Finally, I hit the confirm pickup button and the customer’s address pops up. I tap the directions button and try to place Milo’s phone in the phone holder when—DoorDash again! Will this poor customer ever get their order? I think, answering the call. It was the first lady calling back to confirm that she’d verified the pickup and told me to restart the app.

Milo snorts in laughter, and I can’t help but grin as I thank her, telling her that I got it. She reminds me to contact the customer, which, honestly, had just occurred to me. again. I assure her that I will and hang up.

I quickly send off a text to the customer, trying to explain briefly and apologizing for the wait. Finally, I put Milo’s phone in the holder and we go to leave. Just as we start moving, both phones go off at the same time, chiming in with GPS instructions. My forgotten phone, sitting between us near the e-brake, had sensed the movement and was helpfully guiding us toward the customer. After all the frustration, the absurdity of both phones going off at the same time cracks both of us up.

Still smiling, I turn off my GPS, and we head off. Soon we’re approaching the customer’s trailer park, and he steps out to get his order. “Did you get my text?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says. “Happens a lot there.”

I fish out his sandwich with a grin. “At least it’s a cold cut.”

“True. Have a good one!”

“You too!” I return to Milo and hop back into the Trailblazer.

“That was a smashup,” Milo comments as I settle into the passenger seat.

“A Subway Dash Smash,” I agree, already composing this update. “On to the next adventure.”

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