#subconsciousfears

I’ve battled OCD since I was in 5th grade and had three “outbreaks”. During my latest battle, my therapist at the time used exposure therapy to help me overcome my fears. I hated exposure therapy. It was uncomfortable, scary, frustrating, and demeaning, but it worked. Honestly, not only did it help me build the skills to overcome my compulsive thoughts, it’s made a significant difference in my career. 

My therapist once told me about a guy that would stand outside Target and ask absurd questions just to get rejected. It sounds ridiculous but in a way that makes sense. If one of your fears is being rejected by a person, company, etc. and being rejected over and over again in a short period of time, you’d become immune to it pretty quick. Now, you may not be diagnosed with OCD but I think the majority of people have fears that impact how they respond to situations (and at times to the point of avoiding a situation entirely). And I’d guess that a lot of people are doing it subconsciously. 

If you aren’t ever getting rejected or failing, you aren’t taking enough risks and you aren’t learning. This does not mean go tell your boss that’s he/she is horrible, don’t quit your job without a backup plan, but try the things that could lead to different opportunities. Like Wayne Gretzky (or Michael Scott if you’re into the Office) said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Pushing your boundaries (to the point of failing) may enlighten you on what you are capable of and what you can handle. 

Here are some ideas:

Write a paper

Ask to present your experiences for one of your past professors’ classes

Ask for a raise/Negotiate your salary

Present at a conference

Start a new project

Start a side business (i.e. consulting, design, etc.)

Learn a new language (computer language or spoken language)

Volunteer for a non-profit

Tutor/Teach a class

Bring up an idea to your boss that makes something more efficient, your job easier, new product, etc.

Here are some of my favorite quotes about failure:

“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” - Thomas Edison

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new” - Albert Einstein

“Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” - Samuel Beckett

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly” - Robert Kennedy