#sub-josh

We have been working anywhere from ten to sixteen hours per day on this shoot. It’s been exhausting, but also exhilarating. Any movie where I’m away from home, being challenged like I have been is really something I crave. It’s amazing how much Spanish I’ve learned in this short time. I would say I’ve become pretty fluent, at least enough to have a decent conversation with my co-stars.

  I really miss home, but I know its only a matter of time before I’m back resting and wishing I was out shooting my next film. That’s the cycle I’ve grown up with and that’s what I’m used to. But now I don’t have my mom with me all the time, which is great in some ways, giving me more independence and freedom, but also causing me to miss the comforts of home. Even when I was on location, if my mom was with me, I felt like she brought home with us. I get occasional visits from family and friends who are able to come and stay with me, but mostly I keep in touch by internet. It’s not the same as being right there with them, but it’s enough for now.

  My dating life has become quite ironic. I have all these girls wanting my picture, tweeting me, posting pictures of me, calling me names, good and bad, but I have the most difficult time finding someone to simply go on a date. Its not easy to find a girl to be intimate with at home or on location. There are expectations that people have about me as a celebrity. I feel like I can’t be just a normal guy.

  Sometimes I wish I could be anonymous, no one knowing who I am, and hook up with someone here in Panama. My fortune turned against me a couple times when I’ve met a girl in a nightclub who had no idea who I was, but then people started recognizing me, asking for pictures and my anonymity was gone. I’ve had times when I’ve been lucky, avoiding identification and could finally enjoy a night out with a girl. I don’t try to make one-night stands a habit, but its difficult to keep up a steady relationship on location. I’ve maintained connections with a couple of girls, but we have been traveling all over Panama, so the scenery changes.

  Most days when “wrap” is called I go out with the crew, get a beer and dinner, then head to the hotel to chat with my friends and family online, trying to keep occupied until I doze off. Now I have different plans, in fact, I’ve been anticipating that wrap call all day. I can’t wait to get out of here and drive back to the hotel. I’ve been holding on all day for this. I have to keep my plans private because of the sensitive nature of my activity.

  The clouds overtake the sun and finally we’re wrapped for the day. I get my gear, my laptop, and head out before anyone can ask me where I’m going. This has been my routine for the last couple weeks, when this all started. The guys were getting suspicious and asking all kinds of questions so I had to take a night off and go out with them last week, the whole time anxiously wanting to get back to my hotel room.

  Traffic was slow on my drive back to the Hard Rock, and I was becoming more impatient. I double checked that I had my laptop because it would be horrible if I forgot it back at the set. I really need this tonight.

  I parked in the underground lot and made my way to the elevators, backpack on and laptop in hand, trying my best to be inconspicuous so as not to be stopped. Again, I failed with several people asking for photos and autographs. Of course I honored the requests, I mean, they are my fans. I was just about to get in the elevator when a fan asked me for a picture. I was so annoyed and really tried to hide it, but it was more than likely evident in her picture that I wasn’t happy to stop.

  Once I reached my hotel room, I placed my laptop on the table, the light from the overhead lamp reflecting off the sleek silver finish. I took a quick shower while contemplating who I wanted to be with tonight. The girls were so different, and my personality changed depending on which girl I was with. I mean, I maintained my general character, but each girl brought out a different mood in me. It was quite incredible and invigorating to experience. I decided I would spend tonight with the one that started all this, Samantha.

  I was introduced to Samantha indirectly by my aunt Amanda. She thought it was hilarious to send me the link and emailed me saying, “Josh, you have to read this. You will be so shocked. This is amazing!” I opened the link and started reading about Samantha’s story. I was drawn in immediately and became instantly addicted. Indeed I was shocked since I found that I had a starring role in the story. The writing was so exceptional that I felt as if I was actually there as I read.

  I heard about fan fictions before, but never read them, and certainly not about me. This one, called Thirty Days, tells the story about Samantha and Joshua, which is what she prefers to call me, in a domme and sub relationship. Once I started reading, I remained transfixed, the thought of being subservient was intriguing and surprisingly arousing. I could never imagine myself in a sub role as I’m described in the story, but while I read it, I couldn’t help but start swelling at the thought of Samantha’s dominance over me.

  The first day I meet her, she has me getting off in front of a mirror in her art gallery. The image of me fucking Samantha’s hand and being told to watch myself come on the mirror lingered in my mind for days. I would be on break from filming and get stiff, starting to ache, thinking about her demands from the night before.

  I’m currently on Day 7 now and anticipating what kind of naughty plans she has for me tonight. I crack open a beer from the fridge, having changed into my sweats and t-shirt, and relax on the chair to start reading. I can feel the warmth course through my body as I take it in. Samantha says, “My instructions were to spread his legs and stand quietly, allowing me the visual accolades from our previous encounter.” Ah yes, the ass spanking. Submit, learn, bliss...not forgetting that one.

  The intensity of that scene from Day 4 made me hunger for that feeling. I remember the night I read that part, I left the confines of my room desperately trying to find a blonde in the club that I could take home and perform the same on me. I wanted to experience the excitement of being under someone else’s control, but I couldn’t find a girl that reminded me enough of Samantha to do the job. So, on Day 7, Miss is reveling in her handiwork on my ass and asking how I liked it. She asked me if I got aroused after being spanked by her. Joshua said yes, but I have yet to know what that would be like.

  “When you’re aroused, what do you do?” she asked. “Do you touch yourself?” As I read, my hand found the bulge growing under my sweats. “Mmmhmm,” I answered out loud, pausing to close my eyes for just a moment.

  “Tell me about it.” As Joshua relives his fantasy of fucking her on his car, he’s told to beat off in front of Samantha. I try to keep my eyes open to read every line of Joshua’s struggle to get the words out while she is lying there watching him, stark naked, jerking off in front of her.

  I do the same, peeling off my sweats and boxers, grabbing myself and imagining this hot blonde taking me all in, head to toe, while I please myself. She’s asking me how I want her. I say out loud, “I want you to take me over your lap and show me what happens to bad boys that don’t do what they’re told.” I imagine her licking her lips wanting so badly to have me down on all fours to redden my ass, cock at full attention waiting to be allowed its release.

  My hand is hard at work while my mind develops and refines this fantasy. I can hear the slickness and slapping on my body causing my groin to heat up, my legs become weak so I steady myself on the chair back. I open my eyes to continue reading.

“Oh fuck!” I mutter, “Commonwealth Stadium. This is just not fair.” Having her on the 30 yard line at University of Kentucky added a new dimension to this fantasy I would have never dreamed about.

  She would be on all fours this time and I would plow into her roughly because she ordered me to. I ask her, “Is this how you want it Miss?” She would say, “Fuck me harder Joshua. Show me how long you can last before coming.”

  The thought of holding off made my need ever more urgent. Breathing heavily, I pleaded out loud, “May I come Miss? I can’t hold it any longer.” As I’m about to let loose, I open my eyes to read more and see she takes it in her mouth. That vision sent me over the edge as I cried out and the milky liquid flowed out of me in spurts until I collapsed forward onto the back of the chair.

  I exhaled, took a few minutes to regain my composure, then cleaned my mess. I went to lie down on my bed, taking the laptop with me. “Goddam, that was fucking hot!”

  I studied the picture of Samantha on my computer screen, tracing her features with my finger, and fell asleep wondering what to expect from Day 8.

    Two

  This morning, we seemed to be free from thunderstorms so the cast and crew were happy to make up some missed scenes. As I sipped on my coffee at the craft service table I noticed a cute girl, possibly late teens or twenty eyeing me and smiling. I checked with one of the production assistants and found out she is a 19 year old local intern.

  She was stunning with her thick brown hair, golden brown eyes, and curvy figure. My eyes set on her waist and how it gently curved to her nice full hips. Oh, those hips. I could imagine all the things I could do holding onto those. I decided to break the ice with some of my new found Spanish.

  “Hola, me llamo Josh. Como te llamas?” I said with the best accent I could muster.

  Giggling, “Me llamo Stephanie. I speak English too. That’s how I got the job to intern because there are English-speaking actors on the set.”

  Her accent was adorable and she had the most inviting smile. I was entranced by her eyes, the color is light brown like caramel. I don’t recall ever meeting anyone with her unique shade.

  I was craving the feeling of human touch. My recent post work activities were getting me so horny that I needed to share it with somebody. I just don’t know if she would be the one. Stephanie seems too sweet to want to move that fast with me.

  “Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? I would love to learn more about your country from a local like yourself.”

  She looked down at her feet, tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and said, “I would be honored, Josh. Thank you for asking me.”

  “May I give you a ride into the city straight from the set?”

  “Yes, I live close by so the ride home won’t be long.”

  Little did she know I was hoping there would be no ride home tonight. “Perfecto! Hasta mas tarde.” She laughed at my poor attempt at conversing in her language. Yes, just perfect, until later my beautiful intern.

  Intern! Yes, I’ve got myself an intern, like Taylor. Ah, Taylor, so sweet, sexy and eager. I hope I can do as well with my real life intern as my fictional self has done with Taylor from Secret. Those sex scenes are out of this world. Damn, its too much to think about while I’m trying to work, but some of the things written about us are extremely hot. I seriously am surprised by how creative and descriptive these fans are with their stories.

  I may have to take a peek at the story during lunch just to keep something fresh in my mind for tonight’s date. Taylor meets “me” on The Hunger Games set in Atlanta. In this fan fiction, Secret, I have been jilted by women so I treat her like shit, which is kind of insulting because I don’t feel I would ever treat someone that way. But “Josh” can do what he wants because he is imaginary, which makes it a perfect fantasy.

  I started remembering Chapter 2, when Taylor sees me on the Catching Fire set after I treated her badly while she was an intern for The Hunger Games production. I talk her into coming to my hotel room and lure her into the two-person bath tub. She follows my lead and lays on top of me. She plays “with my growing length with the movement of her hips.”

  Taylor says, “I spin around and lower myself onto his lap and feel him slide into me filling up the emptiness I had been feeling so long without him. My hips begin rocking up and down.”

  I remembered that line from when I read it last week, over and over fantasizing about Taylor taking me in completely, offering herself to me. I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to do something like that. Maybe Stephanie likes to take baths, lord knows I would love to see those hips rocking on me.

  “Rolling!” I hear called out on set. I need to wake up out of this dream state and start prepping for my next scene. Where’s Stephanie? I bet she would love the opportunity to run lines with me.

  ....

  Feeling a sense of thrill and desire when I hear wrap called for the day, I start looking for Stephanie. I know what’s happening next, my lovely intern and I can grab a bite to eat and see where this will lead. I might take a few smooth-talking lessons from my fictional self to ease her into the idea of going further with me. Its undeniable that I need someone to share my bed soon. This fan fiction is becoming an addiction I’m afraid I won’t be able to control if I let myself go too deep.

  “Ayi estas!” There you are my gorgeous date. “Listo?”

  “Yes, I’m ready Josh,” she grins timidly, “you really don’t have to speak Spanish with me. That’s why I’m here, to make your life easier.”

  God, if she understood how I interpreted what she just told me, she might want to retract her words. “Gracias, Stephanie. I just like practicing now and then, but thanks. I will take it easy on the Spanish tonight.” I offer her the most charming smile I can muster.

  She looks down with a smirk and tucks the stray hair behind her ear. That must be a little nervous quirk of hers. I place my finger gently on her chin to bring her eyes to meet mine and ask, “Are you hungry?”

  She glances at my lips, then quickly to my eyes and says, “Very much, where should we go?”

  “There’s a restaurant in my hotel if you want to go there, or we can go somewhere else in the city,” I think I was getting to her. Just don’t push too hard Josh. “You pick, since you’re my date.”

  Biting on her lower lip and crossing her arms in front of her, she responded, “Date? Hmm, let’s see. There is an Argentinian restaurant I’ve been wanting to try in the city. They’re known for their prime beef and chimichurri. I can’t remember the name but I know how to get there from here.”

  “Excellent, that’s where we’ll go then. Follow me,” I said as I offered my hand to her. She grabbed it and looked around as if to see if anyone was watching. I gave her hand a little squeeze and winked, assuring her we’re safe.

  I could feel her body relaxing as she intertwined her fingers with mine. I tried to be the perfect gentleman, opening the door and helping her into my jeep. Before we drove off I confessed, “Stephanie, I’m sorry if this is happening too quick for you. I know we just met, but I saw you and thought you were the most beautiful girl I’ve seen in weeks. I had to jump on the opportunity to ask you out before someone else beat me to it.”

  Her expression sparkled, those caramel eyes reflecting the light and pulling me into her gaze. “It seemed a bit fast, but is this how you do things in America? You are so sweet and such a gentleman, I am looking forward to this night.” She brought my hand to hers and brushed her lips softly on my skin. The tingles I got from that touch alone led me to think of how wonderful even more contact will feel.

  “Good! Let’s get to the restaurant then,” I say and hit the accelerator.

  ....

  “I’m glad you enjoyed dinner,” I mumbled as my mouth was exploring her ear and the smoothness of her neck. Her breast was in my left hand as I felt her warm moist breath on my neck. She giggled, “did you enjoy your dessert? You’re very good with your tongue.”

  She had the looks of an angel, but once we got to my room, she checked her halo at the door. I stared into those caramel eyes, “Mmm...hmm... I told you I knew you would be delicious.”

She smiled and reached down to stroke me, pressing her lips against mine. My craving for her was at its peak. I would have devoured her whole if I could, but I tried to restrain myself and softly find her tongue to meet mine. My hand ran along her body, down her bottom to her inner thigh.

  “Mmm, baby, please take me. I’ve been longing for you all day.” The sound of her whispering that in my ear was like music. It wasn’t just me seducing her, she wanted me as much. In fact, wasn’t she the one that started eyeing me on set?

  We played right into each others’ games. I’m not complaining though, Stephanie is more than a warm body, she’s my fantasy. If I was asked what my dream girl would look and act like, it would definitely be her.

  As I worked to apply my protection, she said, “Thank you for choosing me to be with you tonight. I feel honored to be here Josh.”

  “Stephanie, you are my dream, I wouldn’t have asked anyone else to come back with me,” I reassured her while I began to slowly start to push my way inside. She gasped once my full length filled her and raised her legs up around my waist.

  The feeling of my sheathed erection sliding within this beautiful girl was what I looked forward to all day. I took comfort in the warmth emanating from the friction of our bodies moving against each other. The moans she uttered as she endured the pressure gave me more energy as I continued to drive myself into her. I never imagined that an expensive dinner out and some quality make-out time in the car would end up like this tonight.

  I really wanted to play her like my fictional self played Taylor, but I couldn’t do it. That’s where I have to just be me. I smile at her as she pulls me in closer, grabbing my ass and bringing her hips up, both of us trying to get in as deep as possible. Her uneven breathing and inability to open her eyes told me she was close. The soft pads of her fingers explored my back, my hair, finding something to grab to keep her steady.

  I brought her hips up at an angle where I knew she would get the most pleasure. God, it felt heavenly after only knowing my palm for the last couple of weeks. She clamped down so tightly, cried out my name, which never gets old, and finally let go. I felt her moisture surround me. This was the biggie, after four orgasms, here came the flood. She looked spent but offered herself to me by getting on hands and knees.

  I brought her back to the edge of the bed so I could stand up. There’s something about standing and fucking someone that really turns me on; maybe its the control and the dominance involved. Such a contradiction to what got me off last night.

  My hands remained on her curvy hips, pushing myself in while pulling her toward me. I honestly didn’t want to let go of her, she felt so feminine and soft. A few strokes was all I needed to reach the pinnacle, bursting inside her while rattling off expletives and trying to remain standing.

  I released myself from her and removed the condom on the way to the bathroom. I did a quick wash up and came out to find her getting dressed. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m getting ready to go home.”

  “I’d love for you to stay. I can take you to the set in the morning,” I said sounding a little more desperate than I intended.

  “It won’t look good Josh, but we’ll see each other tomorrow. Why don’t I take a cab?”

  “No, no, no. I’ll drive you. Hang on.” With that I put my clothes on in a hurry and we had a silent drive back to her place. Something told me that this would be my one and only time with her. I went to kiss her goodnight and I got a soft peck and a thank you.

  As I drove home, I couldn’t help but think about how our roles reversed. Maybe she does this to protect herself, or was she playing me the whole time? I just tried to accept it as it was...an incredible one-nighter. I’m just hoping things aren’t awkward on the set.

  When I got home I gravitated to my laptop, and as I was opening a story, my eyelids were drooping. I bookmarked the page and gave in to sleep.

    Three

  The day was progressing smoothly, the threat of rain gone now, but still humid and uncomfortable. I was contemplating what I would trade for a cool breeze to blow through here when I heard her, “Hi Josh.”

  I hadn’t seen her all day and assumed she decided to stay away from the set. I took her arm gently and moved her away from the crew. “Is there something wrong Stephanie? I thought we were having a great time last night.”

  “I’m sorry Josh, I wasn’t completely truthful with you yesterday. I’m not really an intern. I said that to get close to the set. My boyfriend works as assistant to the props master for this location. He got me this id badge so I could be on set.”

  As I stand with my mouth gaping open, speechless, she leans in and whispers, “I’m such a big fan of yours and really wanted to meet you. Little did I know I would get more than I wished for.”

  I couldn’t help stammering, I honestly didn’t know what to say. “I...I...I...don’t...”

  “Josh, I’m sorry I wasn’t honest. I loved every minute we spent together, really, I did. I just felt so guilty after we were finished because I cheated on my boyfriend and lied to you to get what I wanted. I hope you can find some place in your heart to forgive me.”

  How did I know she wasn’t lying now? Was this a game she played all the time?

  “I’m sorry Stephanie. I really liked you, but I don’t know if I can trust what you’re saying. I had a great time too and really wanted to continue this, but not under these circumstances. God! I can’t believe this!”

  I just shook my head and walked off waiting for that wrap call again. I had something bookmarked I really needed right now.

  ....

  Finally at the hotel and finally Natalie! It’s been a few days since I’ve read Jaded and I really need to lose myself in the story right now. I must have something to help me get through the night or I’ll be thinking about Stephanie and wondering what went wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. She lied to you. Nonetheless, I should have been more careful. Its never good to move so quickly with someone on set until you really know them.

  Tonight I poured myself some Jack Daniels and settled in for a nice read. While I waited for the page to load, I reminded myself how the story built up to my bookmark on Chapter 4. When the guys had taken me for my 21st birthday to the Cheetah Club, I got a VIP lap dance with Natalie, or by her stripper name, Jade.  

  We had a connection since that first dance. I went back every night to see her, keep her away from other men and struggle against the invisible boundary that kept me from touching her body and feeling her lips on mine.

  In Chapter 3, Natalie had the night off and I took matters into my own hands. That was the last chapter I ended with and it was like a screenplay. I read every line and acted like it was my script until the sensations got the better of me and I had to finish on my own.

  Now I’m on Chapter 4. First I start to read “Jade’s POV.” This is a tough chapter, discussing her dad and her responsibilities to him because of his alcoholism. Its very sad, but on a good note, she smiles when she thinks about me. I laugh to myself that I’m happy a fictional character likes me. How pathetic is that?

  She describes my eyes as changing with my mood. I read this a lot in the stories and I don’t get it. None of my girlfriends have told me about my eyes changing or being "like a chameleons skin." I’ll have to take note of that because I’ve found the fans seem to notice more about my features than I do sometimes.

  Ah, now onto “Josh’s POV.” I love this because they capture my point of view so well. That’s one thing I am continually amazed by when reading these fan fictions is how well they get me. As I enter the Cheetah Club again I meet her roommate, who’s upset that I keep coming around to see Jade at work.  Jade steps in and gets me back into the VIP room again. However, it appears she has just seen her dad and has slipped into a different persona, her eyes taking on a new look that I didn’t recognize, hazy and distant.

  Her outfit is described as a tight mock suit with fishnet stockings, black panties and suspenders. My mouth waters as I imagine her thighs in those fishnets, the little peek of ass just below her panty line, and how the suspenders curve over her breasts. I imagine her long black hair falling into her face seductively, her green eyes seeing through me for who I really am, taunting me to grab myself.

  Reading further, she doesn’t let me sit in my comfortable sofa seat. Rather, she wants to do a dance for me and has me sit in a different chair. I was concerned if I did something wrong or offended her in any way.

  She steps closer to me, “her face less than an inch apart from mine as her hands run up my biceps, over my shoulders, and then glide down my chest. She’s teasing me by placing her lips so close to mine.”

  I take a break from reading for a moment as my mind runs with that image. There she is, Natalie as Jade, standing so close to me, touching my body and getting prepared to dance just for me. My hand had unconsciously unbuttoned my jeans and reached inside, gripping and stroking myself as I took in her peppermint aroma.

  I lean back in my chair and continue with my fantasy. My hand finds its rhythm, as she dances with the music removing pieces of clothing until she is bare, save her fishnets and her heels. She squats down in front of me, her eyes never losing focus from mine. Her glossy lips part as her tongue runs along her bottom lip.

I sigh as she wraps those lips around my shaft and takes it whole, still never looking away.

  Her green eyes pierce into me, full of desire, desperate to please me in every way. As she sucks me, she caresses my thighs with her well-manicured hands, sending tingles through my core. I am enveloped in this feeling of warmth and longing, desire building from wanting her so badly to be real.

  I look down at myself, taking some of the oozing cream that's collecting at the tip and massaging it around my length, helping my hand to glide even more smoothly. I envision my fingers are her lips, shiny and full. She moans at the size, concerned she can’t take it all in, and trying not to gag.

  My hips start bucking at the sensations of the oncoming orgasm. Not being able to hold off any more, my legs tighten up, my head drops back, and I’m about to come when I picture Jade taking her lips off me and moving to straddle me, just in time to pull my juices inside of her.

  I let out a growl and a “fuck!” appreciating the intensity of my climax, but cursing for the fact that I had to do the work myself. At least I got extra help from the words written in one of my favorite fan fics. As my breathing recovered, I continued to read and finish the chapter as it was written, without my own additions.

  As I bookmark Chapter 5 for next time, I start wondering about the women that write these stories. They seem to know me so well, understand what gets me off, and are creative enough to use beautiful words to develop interesting stories.

  What would happen if I met one of them? I wonder if the main characters in the fan fics are really embodiments of their own personalities? If I have fallen for the characters, would I fall for the creators? Its an interesting thought...and as I think about that, I drift off to sleep.